2 hours ago, NJAO said:How do you know the rejections reasons were from your skin while none pointed it?
becasue me and this girl i liked were hitting it off in lectures and we agreed to go out and when she saw me in outdoor lighting which makes all my scars look 3d and disgusting i could tell she was just off and suddenly much less receptive and cold like shed just lost all interest and it ended real fast and never really heard from her after despite trying for a little while to meet again
i cant blame her though if i take a mirror outside and look at my skin i end up smashing it agaisnt the ground
5 hours ago, NJAO said:On July 4, 2016 at 2:28 PM, il90 said:Doesn't anyone have anything good to say? I have been away from some time from this forum so I have to let you know that you can live with scars, you can be happy with scars. You know how? You just accept it and move on. You take all those money you were gonna spend on scar treatments say fuck it and travel the world. You know how? Just do it.
I know some of you will think I speak harshly, but you really do make your reality. Forget your skin. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. You didn't do this. Don't hide inside all your life, don't let society take your life away because they are obsessed with flawlessness. I know it will be so hard to take those first steps. Get rid off all the negativity, the the bullshit shallow friendships and create a life. Happiness is not about being perfect. Please think about this before it is too late.
I have seen people walk proudly with their scars, I wish there was more of us though. I'm tired of the fact that people with specifically acne scarring have to hide. Make a stand, don't be that weak person who couldn't take adversity. Stand strong with scarring, make a statement for all of those like us out there. We need to start somewhere.
Consider the scenario where someone who has had breast cancer cannot go outside because they are afraid of getting ridiculed? What would you tell this person? That she should stay at home and hide because society doesn't tolerate people with real issues? Fuck no. You would tell her that this was crazy you have every right to be out there don't ever think otherwise! Stand up for your fellow people who are fighting the same fight.
You think our pain in underrepresented? Then go out there and help us.Stand strong with us. Make scarring acceptable by showing them that it is.
As an end note from Major Lazer.... Stand up like a soldier... baby...
How can you over something effect in your life? and talking about relationships, am almost 30 and still single. months ago i decided to do what you are talking about, with little confidencethat the appearance doesn't matter I started talking to a guy I liked and have feelings for him, you know what he said? he told me "you need to see a plastic surgeon "!
I went to a professional makeup artist to try and get help covering my scar. The entire consultation ended up being her telling me to go back to the plastic surgeon.
someone at the gym once pointed at my scar and asked if I burned myself with a curling iron.
Someone else asked if i if I had gotten in a fight. Car accident comes up frequently too.
many times, people will stare at it instead of looking me in the eye. In fact , it's impossible not to see it because it's so close to my eye. I simply don't look people In the eyes anymore.
right after my accident, when I couldn't move my forehead at all, my "friend" laughed and said I had permanent Botox.
i could go on but my point is people are assholes. Someone else here suggested smiling when I catch them looking at my scar? Ha. That's like smiling at someone when you know you have a nasty wad of snot hanging out of your nose.
27 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:i could go on but my point is people are assholes.
not really because you would probably do the same especially before you got your scar. its normal behaviour which makes it even worse. the assholes will do much more than make a comment or look funny at you
I would venture to say that nobody has dealt with this problem longer than I have. The developements in treating acne scars has greatly improved since I started my battle. When I began the new thing was dermabrasion, which I did at about age 20, with no improvement. Around 25 years later regular CO2 was introduced, and I did that with no improvement. Perhaps 10 years later Fraxel Restore was introduced, and I went to a plastic surgeon for a consult. I was signing up for Restore when the surgeon came back into the room and told me Restore wouldn't help. I walked out disappointed, but I gained a trust for that doctor for telling the truth. A little while later Fraxel Repair was introduced. Lucky I found a plastic surgeon just 3 miles away who had bought the new machine. I think there were only about 30 Repairs in the country at that time. I immediately scheduled and paid 5K for this new treatment. I realized about a 20% improvement, but it was the elimination of 2 non-acne scars that let me know that I was onto something. I scheduled a 2nd Repair, and saw a great improvement, and people started asking what I had done. One black friend at work who notices everything, started asking if I had Botox. LOL I followed up with 3 more Repairs. While I still think about scars I am at the % of improvement where it is not the overriding thing in my life. Especially the last 4 years I have been around beautiful women all the time, which is something I could not have done before.
I have heard a lot of depressed people on this thread wanting to give up at age 20 or 30. At those ages I had no options, and 'live with it' was all I could do. I have been married 3 times. The first and 3rd times where to the prettiest girl in the area. In the past 2 years I have broken up with 3 very hot women. The last one may have been the prettiest girl I have known in my life, but the huge age difference got the best of me. All 3 still contact me, and I am not rich my any stretch of the imagination, and I am no George Clooney. My scars were probably worse than 75% of the people who post here. Here is the kicker, I will be 69 in August. My next step is Plastic Surgery for the effects of aging. 40 years gave me a federal retirement, and I have worked an additional 11 years as a state auditor, and I can retire again. I derive satisfaction through interaction with other people, so anyone who wants to go into seclusion should think twice because that will only deepen your depression.
I strongly suggest you get the book 'Younger Next Year'. It is not what the title implies, and I have read it 3 time because it is very inspirational. I don't care if you are 17 years old, read this book now because it could save your life. Also look into Dr. Dean Ornish. Both of these doctors stress the fact that we are pack animals, and isolation is a killer. You have a lot to live for, so don't ever forget it. I went through hell to get to the point that I am at. Medical advances you will witness where not available to me, so I call BS to anyone who wants to give up.
16 minutes ago, DudleyDoRight said:I would venture to say that nobody has dealt with this problem longer than I have. The developements in treating acne scars has greatly improved since I started my battle. When I began the new thing was dermabrasion, which I did at about age 20, with no improvement. Around 25 years later regular CO2 was introduced, and I did that with no improvement. Perhaps 10 years later Fraxel Restore was introduced, and I went to a plastic surgeon for a consult. I was signing up for Restore when the surgeon came back into the room and told me Restore wouldn't help. I walked out disappointed, but I gained a trust for that doctor for telling the truth. A little while later Fraxel Repair was introduced. Lucky I found a plastic surgeon just 3 miles away who had bought the new machine. I think there were only about 30 Repairs in the country at that time. I immediately scheduled and paid 5K for this new treatment. I realized about a 20% improvement, but it was the elimination of 2 non-acne scars that let me know that I was onto something. I scheduled a 2nd Repair, and saw a great improvement, and people started asking what I had done. One black friend at work who notices everything, started asking if I had Botox. LOL I followed up with 3 more Repairs. While I still think about scars I am at the % of improvement where it is not the overriding thing in my life. Especially the last 4 years I have been around beautiful women all the time, which is something I could not have done before.
I have heard a lot of depressed people on this thread wanting to give up at age 20 or 30. At those ages I had no options, and 'live with it' was all I could do. I have been married 3 times. The first and 3rd times where to the prettiest girl in the area. In the past 2 years I have broken up with 3 very hot women. The last one may have been the prettiest girl I have known in my life, but the huge age difference got the best of me. All 3 still contact me, and I am not rich my any stretch of the imagination, and I am no George Clooney. My scars were probably worse than 75% of the people who post here. Here is the kicker, I will be 69 in August. My next step is Plastic Surgery for the effects of aging. 40 years gave me a federal retirement, and I have worked an additional 11 years as a state auditor, and I can retire again. I derive satisfaction through interaction with other people, so anyone who wants to go into seclusion should think twice because that will only deepen your depression.
I strongly suggest you get the book 'Younger Next Year'. It is not what the title implies, and I have read it 3 time because it is very inspirational. I don't care if you are 17 years old, read this book now because it could save your life. Also look into Dr. Dean Ornish. Both of these doctors stress the fact that we are pack animals, and isolation is a killer. You have a lot to live for, so don't ever forget it. I went through hell to get to the point that I am at. Medical advances you will witness where not available to me, so I call BS to anyone who wants to give up.
I don't doubt that people on here have been the victims of insensitive boobs making comments or staring but people will be like that no matter what, whether to say " you're fat" " you're scrawny" " you're arm hairs are too thick" etc. The biggest issue is they are all their own critics and most of them with either acne or scars have such low confidence they can't imagine anyone loving them for who they are. I have had acne for 22 years, had boyfriends with both great skin and problem skin. My current boyfriend has acne and rosacea and it doesn't bother me one bit. I've dated a really fat guy and a guy with a glass eye. Maybe I'm being lofty here but if people judge you for diseases or scars you have no control over, they are not worth your time. Period.
46 minutes ago, SKINSKINSKINSKINSKINSKINSKIN said:not really because you would probably do the same especially before you got your scar. its normal behaviour which makes it even worse. the assholes will do much more than make a comment or look funny at you
1 hour ago, scarredandsad34 said:I went to a professional makeup artist to try and get help covering my scar. The entire consultation ended up being her telling me to go back to the plastic surgeon.someone at the gym once pointed at my scar and asked if I burned myself with a curling iron.
Someone else asked if i if I had gotten in a fight. Car accident comes up frequently too.
many times, people will stare at it instead of looking me in the eye. In fact , it's impossible not to see it because it's so close to my eye. I simply don't look people In the eyes anymore.
right after my accident, when I couldn't move my forehead at all, my "friend" laughed and said I had permanent Botox.
i could go on but my point is people are assholes. Someone else here suggested smiling when I catch them looking at my scar? Ha. That's like smiling at someone when you know you have a nasty wad of snot hanging out of your nose.
I can't stand people who state obvious things like scars or weight gain. Seriously did their moms not teach them, if you can't say something g nice keep your mouth shut?
Maybe the really rude ones need some shock value...if they make fun of my scar, I'd be tempted to say something like " it would only take two seconds with a crazy person and a box cutter and it could easily be you". Not nice but kind of badass.
I worked with a woman who had neurofibromatosis. That causes small lumps which look like warts on your skin and nerve endings. Its fairly shocking the first time you see her but she's extremely nice and outwardly doesn't appear to let it bother her. She was oone of my sons favorite people when he was small. If someone asks about it ( some people were worried if its contagious) she says matter of factly that its a genetic problem and it isn't contagious. One rude person told her she had no business working in the public eye! I don't know how she didn't strangle them. She told her manager and he was banned from the store.
I guess my point is, acne and scars really suck but there's worse out there. I thank God I don't have even worse problems.
1 hour ago, DudleyDoRight said:I would venture to say that nobody has dealt with this problem longer than I have. The developements in treating acne scars has greatly improved since I started my battle. When I began the new thing was dermabrasion, which I did at about age 20, with no improvement. Around 25 years later regular CO2 was introduced, and I did that with no improvement. Perhaps 10 years later Fraxel Restore was introduced, and I went to a plastic surgeon for a consult. I was signing up for Restore when the surgeon came back into the room and told me Restore wouldn't help. I walked out disappointed, but I gained a trust for that doctor for telling the truth. A little while later Fraxel Repair was introduced. Lucky I found a plastic surgeon just 3 miles away who had bought the new machine. I think there were only about 30 Repairs in the country at that time. I immediately scheduled and paid 5K for this new treatment. I realized about a 20% improvement, but it was the elimination of 2 non-acne scars that let me know that I was onto something. I scheduled a 2nd Repair, and saw a great improvement, and people started asking what I had done. One black friend at work who notices everything, started asking if I had Botox. LOL I followed up with 3 more Repairs. While I still think about scars I am at the % of improvement where it is not the overriding thing in my life. Especially the last 4 years I have been around beautiful women all the time, which is something I could not have done before.
I have heard a lot of depressed people on this thread wanting to give up at age 20 or 30. At those ages I had no options, and 'live with it' was all I could do. I have been married 3 times. The first and 3rd times where to the prettiest girl in the area. In the past 2 years I have broken up with 3 very hot women. The last one may have been the prettiest girl I have known in my life, but the huge age difference got the best of me. All 3 still contact me, and I am not rich my any stretch of the imagination, and I am no George Clooney. My scars were probably worse than 75% of the people who post here. Here is the kicker, I will be 69 in August. My next step is Plastic Surgery for the effects of aging. 40 years gave me a federal retirement, and I have worked an additional 11 years as a state auditor, and I can retire again. I derive satisfaction through interaction with other people, so anyone who wants to go into seclusion should think twice because that will only deepen your depression.
I strongly suggest you get the book 'Younger Next Year'. It is not what the title implies, and I have read it 3 time because it is very inspirational. I don't care if you are 17 years old, read this book now because it could save your life. Also look into Dr. Dean Ornish. Both of these doctors stress the fact that we are pack animals, and isolation is a killer. You have a lot to live for, so don't ever forget it. I went through hell to get to the point that I am at. Medical advances you will witness where not available to me, so I call BS to anyone who wants to give up.
No offense but you make it sound like a woman must be beautiful for you to consider dating. When you talk about how you are always with these pretty and hot women who are half your age it sort of confirms that superficial looks and scars do matter (in your eyes) when it comes to dating. In fact, you don't mention any other good quality about these women, just that they are the hottest in town.
would you date a women who has scars and wasn't the prettiest?
do you understand how this kind of mentality is offensive to the women here who do have scars ?
unfortunatly, this is the stigma that women must face in society.
1 hour ago, scarredandsad34 said:No offense but you make it sound like a woman must be beautiful for you to consider dating. When you talk about how you are always with these pretty and hot women who are half your age it sort of confirms that superficial looks and scars do matter (in your eyes) when it comes to dating. In fact, you don't mention any other good quality about these women, just that they are the hottest in town.would you date a women who has scars and wasn't the prettiest?
do you understand how this kind of mentality is offensive to the women here who do have scars ?
unfortunatly, this is the stigma that women must face in society.
My intent was to show that scars don't define you unless you give up and let them. Let's get down to brass tacks, this is all about the quest for beauty, otherwise there would be no forum like this. I have had my share of hell, and you ignore the rest of my story, and only concentrate on my successes which I was trying to use to illustrate the point that other people can do it. No I am not attracted to Rosie O'Donnel, and I don't care who knows it. Actually I recently had a woman who did have mild scars, but it was her enthusiasm that attracted me. The red head that I put on a bus back to her mothers also had minor scarring. The woman that I described as the prettiest woman I have know also had minor scars. I am not on this world to please you or anyone else. I am attracted to women I am attracted to. I don't find Kim Kardashian attractive and she has flawless skin. Like it or not the quest for beauty is all around us, and everyone must try to be the best they can be or give up.
4 hours ago, scarredandsad34 said:No offense but you make it sound like a woman must be beautiful for you to consider dating. When you talk about how you are always with these pretty and hot women who are half your age it sort of confirms that superficial looks and scars do matter (in your eyes) when it comes to dating. In fact, you don't mention any other good quality about these women, just that they are the hottest in town.would you date a women who has scars and wasn't the prettiest?
do you understand how this kind of mentality is offensive to the women here who do have scars ?
unfortunatly, this is the stigma that women must face in society.
Pretty sure that wasn't what he said. He refuted your theory that no one will ever think one is attractive with scars, yet lots of beautiful women were attracted to him despite his scars.
To be honest, I have had enough of your negativity. Yes some people are assholes. They will not just be an asshole to you but pretty much to anyone they see it's in their nature and it has nothing to do with you. Yes they will see you scars (or is it scar?) and that is that. But in the end I promise you, you do not want a shallow partner. Why? because you will get old, and sick, and possibly lots of other horrible things will happen. It's life. And, when this happens it is nice to know that your relationship isn't based on looks.
The things is that you will probably get a partner who you love regardless of what you look like, but is it really about this or is this about something else? If it is about shallowness, and not being the "prettiest" girl you want to be you need to check your priorities. You have every right to seek perfection, but I would hope this forum is for people who are seeking understanding and acceptance. We won't be perfect again that must be very clear. However, we can still be attractive, unique and loved. This is a fact.
13 hours ago, NJAO said:On 7/4/2016 at 11:28 PM, il90 said:Doesn't anyone have anything good to say? I have been away from some time from this forum so I have to let you know that you can live with scars, you can be happy with scars. You know how? You just accept it and move on. You take all those money you were gonna spend on scar treatments say fuck it and travel the world. You know how? Just do it.
I know some of you will think I speak harshly, but you really do make your reality. Forget your skin. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. You didn't do this. Don't hide inside all your life, don't let society take your life away because they are obsessed with flawlessness. I know it will be so hard to take those first steps. Get rid off all the negativity, the the bullshit shallow friendships and create a life. Happiness is not about being perfect. Please think about this before it is too late.
I have seen people walk proudly with their scars, I wish there was more of us though. I'm tired of the fact that people with specifically acne scarring have to hide. Make a stand, don't be that weak person who couldn't take adversity. Stand strong with scarring, make a statement for all of those like us out there. We need to start somewhere.
Consider the scenario where someone who has had breast cancer cannot go outside because they are afraid of getting ridiculed? What would you tell this person? That she should stay at home and hide because society doesn't tolerate people with real issues? Fuck no. You would tell her that this was crazy you have every right to be out there don't ever think otherwise! Stand up for your fellow people who are fighting the same fight.
You think our pain in underrepresented? Then go out there and help us.Stand strong with us. Make scarring acceptable by showing them that it is.
As an end note from Major Lazer.... Stand up like a soldier... baby...
How can you over something effect in your life? and talking about relationships, am almost 30 and still single. months ago i decided to do what you are talking about, with little confidencethat the appearance doesn't matter I started talking to a guy I liked and have feelings for him, you know what he said? he told me "you need to see a plastic surgeon "!
I do believe that regardless of scars or not he would have said something rude, seems like this kind of person that he is. Some people like to ignore human nature, I do wonder what they'll do once they get old and have to deal with sickness and wrinkles. Poor girl that ever dates him considering that if anything ever happened to her he would probably just leave her.
Try not to let people get you like this. Understand that not everyone's opinion matter.
1 hour ago, il90 said:Pretty sure that wasn't what he said. He refuted your theory that no one will ever think one is attractive with scars, yet lots of beautiful women were attracted to him despite his scars.To be honest, I have had enough of your negativity. Yes some people are assholes. They will not just be an asshole to you but pretty much to anyone they see it's in their nature and it has nothing to do with you. Yes they will see you scars (or is it scar?) and that is that. But in the end I promise you, you do not want a shallow partner. Why? because you will get old, and sick, and possibly lots of other horrible things will happen. It's life. And, when this happens it is nice to know that your relationship isn't based on looks.
The things is that you will probably get a partner who you love regardless of what you look like, but is it really about this or is this about something else? If it is about shallowness, and not being the "prettiest" girl you want to be you need to check your priorities. You have every right to seek perfection, but I would hope this forum is for people who are seeking understanding and acceptance. We won't be perfect again that must be very clear. However, we can still be attractive, unique and loved. This is a fact.
I understand his argument- people that he finds attractive still date him despite his scars. But that's not how he said it.he sure didn't talk about any other good qualities that these women have, other than their looks. He didn't say they are kind, sweet, funny, smart, etc. He just said he gets a tons of hot women and they are dispensable. Sounds to me like he's shallow himself. And what's up with "the red head that I put on a bus back to her mother's"?
Coming from a 69 year old, this is kinda creepy.
you are right, I don't want a shallow partner, but I DO want to be able to go live my life without a prominent ugly scar in the middle of my face making me feel like shit everyday and attracting unwanted and negative attention to me. Again, this isn't about looking perfect, it's about looking normal. My face is different now. It holds me back on so many levels (not just dating) and I do not want to accept this. I think that is the point that many others here are saying. Scars suck and they hold them back from dating, jobs, socializing, just being an annonomous fucking person.
Isn't the entire point of this thread to vent and share the emotional and physiological effects of scarring?
Obviously this isn't acne and this poor woman is much more disfigured than anyone here. But this made me cry
Then you have overprivileged assholes like Kim kardashean and Paris Hilton, who are born with silver spoons in their mouths and are famous for nothing but their looks (half of which are fake) and money (not even their own). life really does suck.
54 minutes ago, il90 said:Pretty sure that wasn't what he said. He refuted your theory that no one will ever think one is attractive with scars, yet lots of beautiful women were attracted to him despite his scars.To be honest, I have had enough of your negativity. Yes some people are assholes. They will not just be an asshole to you but pretty much to anyone they see it's in their nature and it has nothing to do with you. Yes they will see you scars (or is it scar?) and that is that. But in the end I promise you, you do not want a shallow partner. Why? because you will get old, and sick, and possibly lots of other horrible things will happen. It's life. And, when this happens it is nice to know that your relationship isn't based on looks.
The things is that you will probably get a partner who you love regardless of what you look like, but is it really about this or is this about something else? If it is about shallowness, and not being the "prettiest" girl you want to be you need to check your priorities. You have every right to seek perfection, but I would hope this forum is for people who are seeking understanding and acceptance. We won't be perfect again that must be very clear. However, we can still be attractive, unique and loved. This is a fact.
As you have noted, I never said the women were perfect, only that they were pretty. She made the assumption that they had no scars. Personality and a positive attitude goes a very long way.
10 minutes ago, DudleyDoRight said:As you have noted, I never said the women were perfect, only that they were pretty. She made the assumption that they had no scars. Personality and a positive attitude goes a very long way.
You didn't say they were perfect, but that they were the hottest/most beautiful women you have known your whole life. So yes, I made an assumption that they didn't have disfiguring scars or bad skin. You said nothing about personality until now.
Scars are terrible, and it all causes us great emotional pain. But we still have to have perspective. I get that people with severe scars face a tremendous amount of distress, hell I'm one of them. But for the people on here stressing because of some minor scars, I urge you to guys to do some real soul searching.
My cousin that I grew up with was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer just this week. She had a total hysterectomy, is now infertile, and about to undergo 4 months of chemo. The prognosis for her is grim, and I know the pain her family is going through.
She is only 32, and now in a battle for her life.
7 hours ago, scarredandsad34 said:I understand his argument- people that he finds attractive still date him despite his scars. But that's not how he said it.he sure didn't talk about any other good qualities that these women have, other than their looks. He didn't say they are kind, sweet, funny, smart, etc. He just said he gets a tons of hot women and they are dispensable. Sounds to me like he's shallow himself. And what's up with "the red head that I put on a bus back to her mother's"?
Coming from a 69 year old, this is kinda creepy.you are right, I don't want a shallow partner, but I DO want to be able to go live my life without a prominent ugly scar in the middle of my face making me feel like shit everyday and attracting unwanted and negative attention to me. Again, this isn't about looking perfect, it's about looking normal. My face is different now. It holds me back on so many levels (not just dating) and I do not want to accept this. I think that is the point that many others here are saying. Scars suck and they hold them back from dating, jobs, socializing, just being an annonomous fucking person.
Isn't the entire point of this thread to vent and share the emotional and physiological effects of scarring?
No. You hold yourself back, not your scar. They don't care. Yes you can fix your scar, but until then why not rather just be that person who doesn't give a shit? I swear after 1-2 minutes people lose interest and then that is that. However, thinking this way is poisonous and it will be with you throughout your life (how you didn't go out and live... how you let other define you as something ugly when you could have define yourself as unique and beautiful).
Not a lot of people know this, I suppose considering how people talk, but people will push an identity on you (this is true) but you can reject it. Sadly, not many people do. That is, you can be this "scarred" person or reject that shit and make your own definition of yourself. People generally have a tendency accept that these people. They are usually strong people though. I saw a girl with quite a lot of scarring yet she said screw that I really don't care and people didn't either. She was quite beautiful.
4 hours ago, il90 said:No. You hold yourself back, not your scar. They don't care. Yes you can fix your scar, but until then why not rather just be that person who doesn't give a shit? I swear after 1-2 minutes people lose interest and then that is that. However, thinking this way is poisonous and it will be with you throughout your life (how you didn't go out and live... how you let other define you as something ugly when you could have define yourself as unique and beautiful).Not a lot of people know this, I suppose considering how people talk, but people will push an identity on you (this is true) but you can reject it. Sadly, not many people do. That is, you can be this "scarred" person or reject that shit and make your own definition of yourself. People generally have a tendency accept that these people. They are usually strong people though. I saw a girl with quite a lot of scarring yet she said screw that I really don't care and people didn't either. She was quite beautiful.
If it's so easy, then why are you here? Why don't you say the hell with this forum and go live your life?
7 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:If it's so easy, then why are you here? Why don't you say the hell with this forum and go live your life?
I do live my life. I'm also here though sometimes when I have time, how is that so odd to you? I suppose I should leave then but I do like the posts about treatments and I do not want people like you to poison other people with your attitude.
54 minutes ago, il90 said:I do live my life. I'm also here though sometimes when I have time, how is that so odd to you? I suppose I should leave then but I do like the posts about treatments and I do not want people like you to poison other people with your attitude.
Fair enough. But please
stick to the posts about treatments and quit attacking those of us who aren't strong enough to handle the psychological impacts of facial scarring. This thread was created for us to vent in a judge free environment. The pain and suffering this has caused me is unimaginable, no one I know has been through anything like this, and I see others here who are suffering just as much or worse. Kuddos to you for not letting your scars or acne take you down, but we are not you.
and please don't lecture me about identity because my identity was changed dramatically in the blink of an eye. I suppose it's different having a tragic accident scar you vs. having acne, which is gradual. But regardless, the face that I grew up looking at for 33 years was marred in the blink of an eye. Sorry if I can't just snap my fingers and accept this new bullshit identity that was forced upon me. I am not the person that I was before (both physically and mentally). And it fucking blows. I see others here who are just as traumatized and distressed and at least I know I am not alone. Because everytime I leave my house and look around at unscarred skin, I do feel alone. Have some compassion already.
9 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:Fair enough. But please
stick to the posts about treatments and quit attacking those of us who aren't strong enough to handle the psychological impacts of facial scarring. This thread was created for us to vent in a judge free environment. The pain and suffering this has caused me is unimaginable, no one I know has been through anything like this, and I see others here who are suffering just as much or worse. Kuddos to you for not letting your scars or acne take you down, but we are not you.and please don't lecture me about identity because my identity was changed dramatically in the blink of an eye. I suppose it's different having a tragic accident scar you vs. having acne, which is gradual. But regardless, the face that I grew up looking at for 33 years was marred in the blink of an eye. Sorry if I can't just snap my fingers and accept this new bullshit identity that was forced upon me. I am not the person that I was before (both physically and mentally). And it fucking blows. I see others here who are just as traumatized and distressed and at least I know I am not alone. Because everytime I leave my house and look around at unscarred skin, I do feel alone. Have some compassion already.
are you getting therapy? I was really mentally afflicted a few years ago with several health problems including acne. I did sessions every week for as year plus I take meds. Don't get me wrong, meds won't fix your scar but for me they allowed me to not be completely overwhelmed with hopeless feelings. Now, even though my skin isn't perfect and I still have some problems, I just don't care as much. Sometimes our brain chemicals need help.
16 minutes ago, snarkygirl said:28 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:Fair enough. But please
stick to the posts about treatments and quit attacking those of us who aren't strong enough to handle the psychological impacts of facial scarring. This thread was created for us to vent in a judge free environment. The pain and suffering this has caused me is unimaginable, no one I know has been through anything like this, and I see others here who are suffering just as much or worse. Kuddos to you for not letting your scars or acne take you down, but we are not you.and please don't lecture me about identity because my identity was changed dramatically in the blink of an eye. I suppose it's different having a tragic accident scar you vs. having acne, which is gradual. But regardless, the face that I grew up looking at for 33 years was marred in the blink of an eye. Sorry if I can't just snap my fingers and accept this new bullshit identity that was forced upon me. I am not the person that I was before (both physically and mentally). And it fucking blows. I see others here who are just as traumatized and distressed and at least I know I am not alone. Because everytime I leave my house and look around at unscarred skin, I do feel alone. Have some compassion already.
are you getting therapy? I was really mentally afflicted a few years ago with several health problems including acne. I did sessions every week for as year plus I take meds. Don't get me wrong, meds won't fix your scar but for me they allowed me to not be completely overwhelmed with hopeless feelings. Now, even though my skin isn't perfect and I still have some problems, I just don't care as much. Sometimes our brain chemicals need help.
I tried weekly therapy for a year, with several different therapists. Zero relief. I tried meds, they made me feel worse. The only thing that has brought me any relief is heavy duty exercise, and this is only because it wears me out to the point where I can sleep soundly. But I am never at peace
1 hour ago, scarredandsad34 said:Fair enough. But please
stick to the posts about treatments and quit attacking those of us who aren't strong enough to handle the psychological impacts of facial scarring. This thread was created for us to vent in a judge free environment. The pain and suffering this has caused me is unimaginable, no one I know has been through anything like this, and I see others here who are suffering just as much or worse. Kuddos to you for not letting your scars or acne take you down, but we are not you.and please don't lecture me about identity because my identity was changed dramatically in the blink of an eye. I suppose it's different having a tragic accident scar you vs. having acne, which is gradual. But regardless, the face that I grew up looking at for 33 years was marred in the blink of an eye. Sorry if I can't just snap my fingers and accept this new bullshit identity that was forced upon me. I am not the person that I was before (both physically and mentally). And it fucking blows. I see others here who are just as traumatized and distressed and at least I know I am not alone. Because everytime I leave my house and look around at unscarred skin, I do feel alone. Have some compassion already.
I suppose severe acne/scarring (my scarring is no longer severe - maybe moderate/mild now) is really quite easy compared to your little dent. Sure okay.
The thing is, this isn't your forum, this forum is for HELPING people who have scarring and you are NOT helpful.
Compassion? What would that do?Where may I ask is your compassion? You are 33, much older than I am (almost a decade) yet I am suppose to sit here and have lots of compassion for you when you spew how ugly scarring is even though my situation is worse than yours?
Somepeople here are over obsessed with one scar or very light scarring.
And they are the ones saying how bad it is to the people with moresevere scarring who are trying to make the best out of itand keep others positive. (act of compassion)
I guess they need to feel very sorry for themselves and everyone needs to know how bad life should suck with scar(s). . Even more then the people suffering from cancer etc, their imperfection is the worst thing ever.
Instead of trying to change their way of thinking or trying to consider they might be obsessing or have a mental issue like BDD or depression they drag others along.
2 hours ago, il90 said:I suppose severe acne/scarring (my scarring is no longer severe - maybe moderate/mild now) is really quite easy compared to your little dent. Sure okay.The thing is, this isn't your forum, this forum is for HELPING people who have scarring and you are NOT helpful.
Compassion? What would that do?Where may I ask is your compassion? You are 33, much older than I am (almost a decade) yet I am suppose to sit here and have lots of compassion for you when you spew how ugly scarring is even though my situation is worse than yours?
So you think because I'm older than you, I don't deserve compassion? Like I'm supposed to be even more resistant to life? Sorry honey, but that's just not the way life works. Pain and sufferingdoesn't care about age. Neither does tragedy. And on top of this, life gets HARDER as you get older.
Look, I wasn't trying to minimize your situation. I know nothing about it. I'm sure it sucks and has caused you great grief. In fact, I thought I read one of your posts that said therapy or meds saved your life. So if this is true and you see people like me and several others who are suffering so bad that we don't even leave our houses, why are you so quick to judge? If you undestand the deep dark place that facial scarring can take you, why are you being such a hard ass? I don't get it.
What I do know is that my "little dent" is very noticeable. I saw my forehead busted open. I saw my own skull for christ's sake. It's a pretty severe scar. And I have been through a roller coaster ride of failed treatments. It has destroyed me mentally. But like someone else here said, this isn't who's scarring trumps who's. It sucks for all of us!