Your scar is something that could use one good treatment and a little bothersome, but not at all disfiguring or a reason not to go out of your house. That would be way out of proportion, then your mind has created it's own prison. There is actually nothing stopping you from livinga full life

If the standard of beauty was that high in society more then half of humanity would have to stay at home.

Request:

Can we have a special ' Emotional and psychological effects of acne scarring ' sub-forumunder lifestyle and not on /scartreatments/

This subforum is for treatments not venting, and or sympathizing/empathizing. Reasoning: [venting, and or sympathizing/empathizing] --> not treatments.

Thanks

1 hour ago, Keeping_up said:

Your scar is something that could use one good treatment and a little bothersome, but not at all disfiguring or a reason not to go out of your house. That would be way out of proportion, then your mind has created it's own prison. There is actually nothing stopping you from livinga full life

If the standard of beauty was that high in society more then half of humanity would have to stay at home.

I have tried to treat my scar and so far nothing has improved it. I don't want to turn this into a thread on how can I treat my scar.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/15838211/

I seriously regret posting public pictures of my scar on this forum. I now realize that it is an unsaid rule here not to post pictures of your face or scars or you will be seriously criticized, scrutinized, and judged. Most people here (including myself) are so unhappy, self-conscious, and frustrated. But that shouldn't give anyone the right to diminish someone else's anguish over a noticable facial difference.

I'm sorry, but I do not think that being upset over a noticable facial difference that draws unwanted negative attention can be compared to having an unrealistic standard of beauty.

4 hours ago, il90 said:

I suppose severe acne/scarring (my scarring is no longer severe - maybe moderate/mild now) is really quite easy compared to your little dent. Sure okay.

The thing is, this isn't your forum, this forum is for HELPING people who have scarring and you are NOT helpful.

Compassion? What would that do?Where may I ask is your compassion? You are 33, much older than I am (almost a decade) yet I am suppose to sit here and have lots of compassion for you when you spew how ugly scarring is even though my situation is worse than yours?

So I looked at your profile and saw a picture of your "severe scarring". TBH, I don't think it looked bad at all. In fact, I don't think anything on your face is as noticable as my "little dent". But I get that it's your face and it bothers you. I understand that you hate it and I do not want to minimize your pain. I'm just pointing out that we can all play this stupid game of whose scarring is worse. But it's stupid.

Bottom line is facial scarring sucks. It is deeply traumatizing and and anyone that has a noticeable/prominate scar (or other noticable skin issues/facial differences) is going to suffer.

8 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:

So I looked at your profile and saw a picture of your "severe scarring". TBH, I don't think it looked bad at all. In fact, I don't think anything on your face is as noticable as my "little dent". But I get that it's your face and it bothers you. I understand that you hate it and I do not want to minimize your pain. I'm just pointing out that we can all play this stupid game of whose scarring is worse. But it's stupid.

Bottom line is facial scarring sucks. It is deeply traumatizing and and anyone that has a noticeable/prominate scar (or other noticable skin issues/facial differences) is going to suffer.

did you say you work from home?

Yes, but not going into the office and attending networking events is having an impact on my career.

Why do you ask?

I have half written a bunch of messages to you and always end up deleting them. Why? Because I feel like all you do is seek out negativity in everything and in every post.

Is how you received your scar part of the problem, maybe you need to focus on treating that aspect of your trauma instead of the scar?

Maybe a stupid suggestion, but could you put a band-aid on your scar? Obviously it is not a solution, but maybe it would make it a bit easier for you to get out.

10 hours ago, scarredandsad34 said:

Yes, but not going into the office and attending networking events is having an impact on my career.

Why do you ask?

Im looking for a job from home because I have chronic fatigue and anxiety. I'm not sure what kind of job one can get from home that's not a scam.

16 hours ago, scarredandsad34 said:

So you think because I'm older than you, I don't deserve compassion? Like I'm supposed to be even more resistant to life? Sorry honey, but that's just not the way life works. Pain and sufferingdoesn't care about age. Neither does tragedy. And on top of this, life gets HARDER as you get older.

Look, I wasn't trying to minimize your situation. I know nothing about it. I'm sure it sucks and has caused you great grief. In fact, I thought I read one of your posts that said therapy or meds saved your life. So if this is true and you see people like me and several others who are suffering so bad that we don't even leave our houses, why are you so quick to judge? If you undestand the deep dark place that facial scarring can take you, why are you being such a hard ass? I don't get it.

What I do know is that my "little dent" is very noticeable. I saw my forehead busted open. I saw my own skull for christ's sake. It's a pretty severe scar. And I have been through a roller coaster ride of failed treatments. It has destroyed me mentally. But like someone else here said, this isn't who's scarring trumps who's. It sucks for all of us!

Hmm... Not sure you understand. Regardless if I have been in pain or not I have never tried to spread negativity. Yes I have been in incredible pain that I am now starting to come out of. But not under any circumstances have a I written posts like you, trying to project my pain and pessimism on everyone else.

No one is telling you that you can't be in pain, but you are trying to lean on everyone else and not picking up the weight yourself. You need to HELP others while they also HELP you. It is not a one way street where you just spew out a lot of "I hate I hate I hate" "fix this or I won't do this or that." You sound like a spoiled brat that somehow realised that not everything is perfect.

When my world crumbled, and it was a lot worse than your 'dent,' I had to go through several other things along with severe acne, yet I never responded like you. You need to take responsibility of what you put out into the world. No one owes you anything.

3 hours ago, snarkygirl said:

13 hours ago, scarredandsad34 said:

Yes, but not going into the office and attending networking events is having an impact on my career.

Why do you ask?

Im looking for a job from home because I have chronic fatigue and anxiety. I'm not sure what kind of job one can get from home that's not a scam.

Do you speak any fluent languages? English? Be a private tutor online.... Check out Preply on google search.

5 hours ago, il90 said:

Hmm... Not sure you understand. Regardless if I have been in pain or not I have never tried to spread negativity. Yes I have been in incredible pain that I am now starting to come out of. But not under any circumstances have a I written posts like you, trying to project my pain and pessimism on everyone else.

No one is telling you that you can't be in pain, but you are trying to lean on everyone else and not picking up the weight yourself. You need to HELP others while they also HELP you. It is not a one way street where you just spew out a lot of "I hate I hate I hate" "fix this or I won't do this or that." You sound like a spoiled brat that somehow realised that not everything is perfect.

When my world crumbled, and it was a lot worse than your 'dent,' I had to go through several other things along with severe acne, yet I never responded like you. You need to take responsibility of what you put out into the world. No one owes you anything.

Do you speak any fluent languages? English? Be a private tutor online.... Check out Preply on google search.

Yeah, I admit it. I'm bitter. I'm angry. I'm im a dark place and I'm pessimistic. Guilty as charged. I don't really see any hope. I do realize that it was probably wrong of me to state my bold opinion that no scar treatments work because it is demoralizing for others to hear. But that is my experience so far. And I see a sad endless loop of failures and frustration here for many others who are seeking treatment. It blows for all of us. And I'm Not sure how to help others here when I can't even help myself. But at least I do not go around insulting other people and calling them names like "spoiled brat".

But if we're calling a spade a spade, you sound like a heartless $&@"&. You have ad an irritated cold-hearted response to everyone who posts something negative, not just me. I'm done arguing with you.

9 hours ago, snarkygirl said:

19 hours ago, scarredandsad34 said:

Yes, but not going into the office and attending networking events is having an impact on my career.

Why do you ask?

Im looking for a job from home because I have chronic fatigue and anxiety. I'm not sure what kind of job one can get from home that's not a scam.

My job didn't start out from home, but after working in an office for awhile, I was able to transition to mostly from home. Most people that I know who have real corporate jobs working from home have done the same as me. What is your professional background?

13 hours ago, PCT14 said:

I have half written a bunch of messages to you and always end up deleting them. Why? Because I feel like all you do is seek out negativity in everything and in every post.

Is how you received your scar part of the problem, maybe you need to focus on treating that aspect of your trauma instead of the scar?

Maybe a stupid suggestion, but could you put a band-aid on your scar? Obviously it is not a solution, but maybe it would make it a bit easier for you to get out.

It's true, I'm in a very dark place. I know I'm extremely pessimistic. Sorry!

i did almost die in my accident and am definitely suffering from PTSD. That coupled with the fact that I had to have surgery on my face twice. It was deeply traumatizing for sure. Plus my experience with plastic surgeons has been very negative, to say the least. I have not found an honest trustworthy doctor. And I really don't want an obvious scar that people will comment on for the rest of my life to remind me off all this bullshit. I really just want to get it to a point where I can live with it and people won't comment on it. Not perfection by any means.

Thanks for the suggestion, but i already do cover my forehead up with hats, headbands, and hair. But it's debilitating and not the way I want to spend the rest of my life.

8 hours ago, il90 said:

Hmm... Not sure you understand. Regardless if I have been in pain or not I have never tried to spread negativity. Yes I have been in incredible pain that I am now starting to come out of. But not under any circumstances have a I written posts like you, trying to project my pain and pessimism on everyone else.

No one is telling you that you can't be in pain, but you are trying to lean on everyone else and not picking up the weight yourself. You need to HELP others while they also HELP you. It is not a one way street where you just spew out a lot of "I hate I hate I hate" "fix this or I won't do this or that." You sound like a spoiled brat that somehow realised that not everything is perfect.

When my world crumbled, and it was a lot worse than your 'dent,' I had to go through several other things along with severe acne, yet I never responded like you. You need to take responsibility of what you put out into the world. No one owes you anything.

Do you speak any fluent languages? English? Be a private tutor online.... Check out Preply on google search.

just English and a little Spanish.

2 hours ago, scarredandsad34 said:

It's true, I'm in a very dark place. I know I'm extremely pessimistic. Sorry!

i did almost die in my accident and am definitely suffering from PTSD. That coupled with the fact that I had to have surgery on my face twice. It was deeply traumatizing for sure. Plus my experience with plastic surgeons has been very negative, to say the least. I have not found an honest trustworthy doctor. And I really don't want an obvious scar that people will comment on for the rest of my life to remind me off all this bullshit. I really just want to get it to a point where I can live with it and people won't comment on it. Not perfection by any means.

Thanks for the suggestion, but i already do cover my forehead up with hats, headbands, and hair. But it's debilitating and not the way I want to spend the rest of my life.

I have trouble trusting doctors, I've been misdiagnosed several times. I think I have anxiety under control most of the time but I freak out over things. I was hired at a job Ill be taking but I really don't want to do this specific job. The one I wanted I was kind of screwed out of getting.
As for scars, has anybody suggested skin grafting to yuyuou? Since yours is one scar rather than acne scarring. Idk but its something to look into ( if they use it for scarring).

2 hours ago, scarredandsad34 said:

Yeah, I admit it. I'm bitter. I'm angry. I'm im a dark place and I'm pessimistic. Guilty as charged. I don't really see any hope. I do realize that it was probably wrong of me to state my bold opinion that no scar treatments work because it is demoralizing for others to hear. But that is my experience so far. And I see a sad endless loop of failures and frustration here for many others who are seeking treatment. It blows for all of us. And I'm Not sure how to help others here when I can't even help myself. But at least I do not go around insulting other people and calling them names like "spoiled brat".

But if we're calling a spade a spade, you sound like a heartless $&@"&. You have ad an irritated cold-hearted response to everyone who posts something negative, not just me. I'm done arguing with you. My job didn't start out from home, but after working in an office for awhile, I was able to transition to mostly from home. Most people that I know who have real corporate jobs working from home have done the same as me. What is your professional background?

Ive worked as a personal adsistant, receptionist, dietary aide and hair stylist. Unfortunately not much, no college. I'm planning to get certtified as a public notary.

On 7/12/2016 at 2:32 PM, scarredandsad34 said:

But if we're calling a spade a spade, you sound like a heartless $&@"&. You have ad an irritated cold-hearted response to everyone who posts something negative, not just me. I'm done arguing with you. My job didn't start out from home, but after working in an office for awhile, I was able to transition to mostly from home. Most people that I know who have real corporate jobs working from home have done the same as me. What is your professional background?

I have no tolerance for people who can't consider other people. "cold-hearted" respons to people who posts something negative? Sure, I'm not going to congratulate people who try to bring everyone else down.

I wasn't "cold" until you kept going on and on and on.... You can't keep giving people energy until they bleed you dry you have to say stop.

Anyways, I guess we agree to stop this because I have had enough of you too.

I had very bad acne in high school, and it really fucked me up. The problem was, there were just a few assholes who teased and screwed with my head... and I developed a complex that EVERYone thought the same way about me, which was totally not true of course. It wasn't until I was in college and kicking ass in life that I realized that no one else really gives a shit about my acne and it was all in my head. Life was so much better and manageable after making this realization. The problem for me was the lingering emotional wounds from what I went through in high school. If I was feeling down on myself, and saw my scars, I could easily get overwhelmed by the past trauma. I decided back then to try and fix my scars, and did laser resurfacing which was a bitch! It helped quite a bit for a long time... but here I am again, later in life - with aging skin and the scars are back. I've been feeling down on myself, and here comes the past trauma... which all starts an emotional downward spiral. I'm going to try again to get these scars fixed again, for my own sanity. For anyone else who is going through this, you should do what every you can to fix it if you can... or even improve... otherwise you have to accept who you are, which is not easy and I would recommend therapy and joining a 12-step program.

1 hour ago, RaptorPilot said:

I had very bad acne in high school, and it really fucked me up. The problem was, there were just a few assholes who teased and screwed with my head... and I developed a complex that EVERYone thought the same way about me, which was totally not true of course. It wasn't until I was in college and kicking ass in life that I realized that no one else really gives a shit about my acne and it was all in my head. Life was so much better and manageable after making this realization. The problem for me was the lingering emotional wounds from what I went through in high school. If I was feeling down on myself, and saw my scars, I could easily get overwhelmed by the past trauma. I decided back then to try and fix my scars, and did laser resurfacing which was a bitch! It helped quite a bit for a long time... but here I am again, later in life - with aging skin and the scars are back. I've been feeling down on myself, and here comes the past trauma... which all starts an emotional downward spiral. I'm going to try again to get these scars fixed again, for my own sanity. For anyone else who is going through this, you should do what every you can to fix it if you can... or even improve... otherwise you have to accept who you are, which is not easy and I would recommend therapy and joining a 12-step program.

Thats a great point...we shouldnt let a few people making mean comments ruin our self perception. Those kind of jerks would keep looking until they find any imperfection even if you had no acne...like you have too much arm hairs or your mole looks funny. I remember one of the smartest, prettiest girls in school who was good at everything and someone making fun of her voice because she " sounded like a man" ( she didn't). Yes some stupid people might make rude comments but they are the ones not worth bothering with. Its kind of like a warning : stay away from this one, not worth your time!

What affected me the most (and still does to some extent) in the past 3-4 years was the reaction that some women had upon seeing me... I have already explained it in other threads but will summarize it here again.

Before I had severe acne scarring, women did not have this reaction upon seeing my face. After my scarring got worse, about 50% of women will do either or both of these actions upon seeing my face: 1) pull their dress/blouse/shirt/suit jacket lapels closed so as to hide their breasts and any cleavage they may have been showing, and 2) pull down their shirt to cover their private area... The majority of women that had this reaction (which I hope is involuntary and governed by the lizard brain) were women who were mid 30s and plus and they were bank tellers, HR people that I talked with on interviews, etc. Have they never seen anyone with severe acne scarring before? Did they think I had a contagious disease? Did they know my scarring was caused by acne and thus thought I had raging hormones?

I think I recall seeing only one other member or poster here mention the same reactions happening to him... I was pretty sure I was not looking at their boobs or waist area when I was talking to them. I'm not making this up either because when I had clear skin (for a few years after my 2nd course of Accutane in 2008), no one did this when I met them for the first time.

On 7/10/2016 at 6:40 PM, scarredandsad34 said:

I understand his argument- people that he finds attractive still date him despite his scars. But that's not how he said it.he sure didn't talk about any other good qualities that these women have, other than their looks. He didn't say they are kind, sweet, funny, smart, etc. He just said he gets a tons of hot women and they are dispensable. Sounds to me like he's shallow himself. And what's up with "the red head that I put on a bus back to her mother's"?
Coming from a 69 year old, this is kinda creepy.

you are right, I don't want a shallow partner, but I DO want to be able to go live my life without a prominent ugly scar in the middle of my face making me feel like shit everyday and attracting unwanted and negative attention to me. Again, this isn't about looking perfect, it's about looking normal. My face is different now. It holds me back on so many levels (not just dating) and I do not want to accept this. I think that is the point that many others here are saying. Scars suck and they hold them back from dating, jobs, socializing, just being an annonomous fucking person.

Isn't the entire point of this thread to vent and share the emotional and physiological effects of scarring?

I think you brought up a great point here. Scarring on the face can make it much tougher for someone to get jobs, even ones in STEM fields. Given 2 equally qualified candidates, in terms of education and experience, the hiring manager is subconsciously likely to choose the better looking person because that is who he/she wants to interact with all day.

The struggles of facial scarring would likely not be as bad if they were only confined to the dating aspect of life. The fact that they impede and interfere with one's confidence and self esteem in so many other areas of life cannot be marginalized.

On 7/10/2016 at 10:23 PM, blahblah82 said:

Scars are terrible, and it all causes us great emotional pain. But we still have to have perspective. I get that people with severe scars face a tremendous amount of distress, hell I'm one of them. But for the people on here stressing because of some minor scars, I urge you to guys to do some real soul searching.

My cousin that I grew up with was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer just this week. She had a total hysterectomy, is now infertile, and about to undergo 4 months of chemo. The prognosis for her is grim, and I know the pain her family is going through.

She is only 32, and now in a battle for her life.

I am sorry to hear about what's happening to your cousin. As you mentioned, seeking and developing greater perspectives on how other people live and the health conditions they face may be beneficial for many of us.

The ironic thing about our modern, high-tech and supposedly interconnected world is that we may not actually have as much connection to our communities and neighbors as we think. Thus, some of us many have limited perspectives and believe that our suffering is much worse than other people's. It is true that some problems can easily be seen whereas other problems cannot.

People should stand together against what really pushes unrealistic beauty standards onto us: the mainstream media and celebrity worship.

3 hours ago, IchhasseAkne said:

What affected me the most (and still does to some extent) in the past 3-4 years was the reaction that some women had upon seeing me... I have already explained it in other threads but will summarize it here again.

Before I had severe acne scarring, women did not have this reaction upon seeing my face. After my scarring got worse, about 50% of women will do either or both of these actions upon seeing my face: 1) pull their dress/blouse/shirt/suit jacket lapels closed so as to hide their breasts and any cleavage they may have been showing, and 2) pull down their shirt to cover their private area... The majority of women that had this reaction (which I hope is involuntary and governed by the lizard brain) were women who were mid 30s and plus and they were bank tellers, HR people that I talked with on interviews, etc. Have they never seen anyone with severe acne scarring before? Did they think I had a contagious disease? Did they know my scarring was caused by acne and thus thought I had raging hormones?

I think I recall seeing only one other member or poster here mention the same reactions happening to him... I was pretty sure I was not looking at their boobs or waist area when I was talking to them. I'm not making this up either because when I had clear skin (for a few years after my 2nd course of Accutane in 2008), no one did this when I met them for the first time.

Theres an explanation for this, in our primal non rational brain, we avoid those with disabilities or disease because in nature, it coulkd be fatal to interact with a sick individual. Supposefly thats part of the halo effect, attractive= good. So they probably don't realize they are doing it. Not that it makes it any less hurtful.

.

2 hours ago, IchhasseAkne said:

I think you brought up a great point here. Scarring on the face can make it much tougher for someone to get jobs, even ones in STEM fields. Given 2 equally qualified candidates, in terms of education and experience, the hiring manager is subconsciously likely to choose the better looking person because that is who he/she wants to interact with all day.

The struggles of facial scarring would likely not be as bad if they were only confined to the dating aspect of life. The fact that they impede and interfere with one's confidence and self esteem in so many other areas of life cannot be marginalized. I am sorry to hear about what's happening to your cousin. As you mentioned, seeking and developing greater perspectives on how other people live and the health conditions they face may be beneficial for many of us.

The ironic thing about our modern, high-tech and supposedly interconnected world is that we may not actually have as much connection to our communities and neighbors as we think. Thus, some of us many have limited perspectives and believe that our suffering is much worse than other people's. It is true that some problems can easily be seen whereas other problems cannot.

People should stand together against what really pushes unrealistic beauty standards onto us: the mainstream media and celebrity worship.

Plus, people need to realize almost none of the celebrities look like their personas without whole teams of people doing hair extensions, make up, chefs/ personal trainers etc. Fake people like the Housewives and Kardashian have had every type of plastic surgery, laser, electrolysis, spa treatment and on top of that, airbrushing. Anybody can appear to look good if you have endless funds.

On 7/11/2016 at 6:53 AM, scarredandsad34 said:

Fair enough. But please
stick to the posts about treatments and quit attacking those of us who aren't strong enough to handle the psychological impacts of facial scarring. This thread was created for us to vent in a judge free environment. The pain and suffering this has caused me is unimaginable, no one I know has been through anything like this, and I see others here who are suffering just as much or worse. Kuddos to you for not letting your scars or acne take you down, but we are not you.

and please don't lecture me about identity because my identity was changed dramatically in the blink of an eye. I suppose it's different having a tragic accident scar you vs. having acne, which is gradual. But regardless, the face that I grew up looking at for 33 years was marred in the blink of an eye. Sorry if I can't just snap my fingers and accept this new bullshit identity that was forced upon me. I am not the person that I was before (both physically and mentally). And it fucking blows. I see others here who are just as traumatized and distressed and at least I know I am not alone. Because everytime I leave my house and look around at unscarred skin, I do feel alone. Have some compassion already.

I know how lonely it is. How no one around you knows what it feels like. How they will never know. How you confiding in someone who does not get it just gets you nowhere. I know how just like that your life has been stolen from you. Waking up and realizing you are almost 30 and you are still battling acne and carrying around physical and emotional scars. The hurt. The pain. Struggling with something so long that it has completely changed you. You aren't the same anymore. You don't dream anymore. You don't go out. You stay home all day researching and hoping to find your cure. When you do go out, all you do is analyze skin, probably staring at people for forever, just envying their skin, and wondering why you can't have that skin. It was better you had stayed at home. You aren't the same you. You can't talk to people the way you used to and your main goal is to draw attention away from yourself. You eat a crazy restrictive diet and the slightest bit of anything will break you out. You can't risk that - another cyst, another deep scar. But yet, there are people, at restaurants, at the bar, just living life, eating whatever, drinking whatever, and being rewarded with perfect skin. Then there is social media - instagram, facebook, etc. And you aren't on any of them, not out of choice, but because you haven't taken a pic in ten years. Then there are the perfect beautiful girls, posting a selfie every second, who you envy, wishing only for normal skin, not even perfect skin. And you are there sitting horrified when your front camera turns on.

You've lost whatever friends you did have because no one seems to get it. There is no chance of you dating - you can't even hang out with your friends, yet how would you be confident around a guy? So you stay home, all day every day. You wake up, brush your teeth, wash your hands, etc, all while avoiding looking into the dreadful mirror, because you know if you do, it will send you spiraling into a pit of depression. If you do look in the mirror, you make sure the lighting is terrible because it makes you feel a bit better.

All you do is dream about the things you want to be doing. You know and realize the beauty of life but you can't taste it. You know that without acne you would be doing everything. And that part hurts you the most.
Acne is the most horrible thing that can happen to you. Facial acne, specifically, is something you can not hide. And no, makeup won't do. It actually looks worse with makeup. Acne IS worse than cancer - most of us are already dead inside.

The dark depressing thoughts you never thought you would have.

I know acne is the most horrible thing because I remember the feeling of not having acne - the freedom - not being dictated by it, not being controlled by it. The ease of doing things without having to even worry about it.
For us unfortunate ones, we find ourselves very alone. No one around us is suffering, as it is easier to suffer with someone. There is no one to talk to because no one gets it. People are too busy living their lives to deal with a continuously depressed "crazy" person.

What is life without living?

So yes, feel because that's the only thing we can do. But don't stay there - because there is no progression if we become stuck in these thoughts.

I've chosen to abandon my thoughts - even though I currently have a breakout that will probably scar. I've chosen to give my burdens to Jesus, asking Him to guide me to a solution, while I hold on to the tiny bit of hope I have left. What is impossible for us is possible with God.

Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something. Make it a mission to fight - find your cure - so you can experience life.

I hope this for all of us.It's Friday night - I know where we all would like to be.

35 minutes ago, holdingontohope said:

I know how lonely it is. How no one around you knows what it feels like. How they will never know. How you confiding in someone who does not get it just gets you nowhere. I know how just like that your life has been stolen from you. Waking up and realizing you are almost 30 and you are still battling acne and carrying around physical and emotional scars. The hurt. The pain. Struggling with something so long that it has completely changed you. You aren't the same anymore. You don't dream anymore. You don't go out. You stay home all day researching and hoping to find your cure. When you do go out, all you do is analyze skin, probably staring at people for forever, just envying their skin, and wondering why you can't have that skin. It was better you had stayed at home. You aren't the same you. You can't talk to people the way you used to and your main goal is to draw attention away from yourself. You eat a crazy restrictive diet and the slightest bit of anything will break you out. You can't risk that - another cyst, another deep scar. But yet, there are people, at restaurants, at the bar, just living life, eating whatever, drinking whatever, and being rewarded with perfect skin. Then there is social media - instagram, facebook, etc. And you aren't on any of them, not out of choice, but because you haven't taken a pic in ten years. Then there are the perfect beautiful girls, posting a selfie every second, who you envy, wishing only for normal skin, not even perfect skin. And you are there sitting horrified when your front camera turns on.

You've lost whatever friends you did have because no one seems to get it. There is no chance of you dating - you can't even hang out with your friends, yet how would you be confident around a guy? So you stay home, all day every day. You wake up, brush your teeth, wash your hands, etc, all while avoiding looking into the dreadful mirror, because you know if you do, it will send you spiraling into a pit of depression. If you do look in the mirror, you make sure the lighting is terrible because it makes you feel a bit better.

All you do is dream about the things you want to be doing. You know and realize the beauty of life but you can't taste it. You know that without acne you would be doing everything. And that part hurts you the most.
Acne is the most horrible thing that can happen to you. Facial acne, specifically, is something you can not hide. And no, makeup won't do. It actually looks worse with makeup. Acne IS worse than cancer - most of us are already dead inside.

The dark depressing thoughts you never thought you would have.

I know acne is the most horrible thing because I remember the feeling of not having acne - the freedom - not being dictated by it, not being controlled by it. The ease of doing things without having to even worry about it.
For us unfortunate ones, we find ourselves very alone. No one around us is suffering, as it is easier to suffer with someone. There is no one to talk to because no one gets it. People are too busy living their lives to deal with a continuously depressed "crazy" person.

What is life without living?

So yes, feel because that's the only thing we can do. But don't stay there - because there is no progression if we become stuck in these thoughts.

I've chosen to abandon my thoughts - even though I currently have a breakout that will probably scar. I've chosen to give my burdens to Jesus, asking Him to guide me to a solution, while I hold on to the tiny bit of hope I have left. What is impossible for us is possible with God.

Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something. Make it a mission to fight - find your cure - so you can experience life.

I hope this for all of us.It's Friday night - I know where we all would like to be.

Wow, this sums up my feelings almost exactly, except I do not believe in God

7 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:

44 minutes ago, holdingontohope said:

I know how lonely it is. How no one around you knows what it feels like. How they will never know. How you confiding in someone who does not get it just gets you nowhere. I know how just like that your life has been stolen from you. Waking up and realizing you are almost 30 and you are still battling acne and carrying around physical and emotional scars. The hurt. The pain. Struggling with something so long that it has completely changed you. You aren't the same anymore. You don't dream anymore. You don't go out. You stay home all day researching and hoping to find your cure. When you do go out, all you do is analyze skin, probably staring at people for forever, just envying their skin, and wondering why you can't have that skin. It was better you had stayed at home. You aren't the same you. You can't talk to people the way you used to and your main goal is to draw attention away from yourself. You eat a crazy restrictive diet and the slightest bit of anything will break you out. You can't risk that - another cyst, another deep scar. But yet, there are people, at restaurants, at the bar, just living life, eating whatever, drinking whatever, and being rewarded with perfect skin. Then there is social media - instagram, facebook, etc. And you aren't on any of them, not out of choice, but because you haven't taken a pic in ten years. Then there are the perfect beautiful girls, posting a selfie every second, who you envy, wishing only for normal skin, not even perfect skin. And you are there sitting horrified when your front camera turns on.

You've lost whatever friends you did have because no one seems to get it. There is no chance of you dating - you can't even hang out with your friends, yet how would you be confident around a guy? So you stay home, all day every day. You wake up, brush your teeth, wash your hands, etc, all while avoiding looking into the dreadful mirror, because you know if you do, it will send you spiraling into a pit of depression. If you do look in the mirror, you make sure the lighting is terrible because it makes you feel a bit better.

All you do is dream about the things you want to be doing. You know and realize the beauty of life but you can't taste it. You know that without acne you would be doing everything. And that part hurts you the most.
Acne is the most horrible thing that can happen to you. Facial acne, specifically, is something you can not hide. And no, makeup won't do. It actually looks worse with makeup. Acne IS worse than cancer - most of us are already dead inside.

The dark depressing thoughts you never thought you would have.

I know acne is the most horrible thing because I remember the feeling of not having acne - the freedom - not being dictated by it, not being controlled by it. The ease of doing things without having to even worry about it.
For us unfortunate ones, we find ourselves very alone. No one around us is suffering, as it is easier to suffer with someone. There is no one to talk to because no one gets it. People are too busy living their lives to deal with a continuously depressed "crazy" person.

What is life without living?

So yes, feel because that's the only thing we can do. But don't stay there - because there is no progression if we become stuck in these thoughts.

I've chosen to abandon my thoughts - even though I currently have a breakout that will probably scar. I've chosen to give my burdens to Jesus, asking Him to guide me to a solution, while I hold on to the tiny bit of hope I have left. What is impossible for us is possible with God.

Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something. Make it a mission to fight - find your cure - so you can experience life.

I hope this for all of us.It's Friday night - I know where we all would like to be.

Wow, this sums up my feelings almost exactly, except I do not believe in God

I only half jokingly say, when I die and IF there is a god I'd love to ask why he allowed all the suffering on earth especially innocent people. Acne and cystic fibrosis and malaria and babies dying in filthy countries with no chance. Yes a lot of the evils are caused by peoples bad actions, bit things like acne and chronic diseases and floods, who else could help those but a god? And why hasn't he helped, or so it seems.?

Thanks for putting into words what most of us have felt so truthfully.
While I'm lucky enough to have had periods of non acne nor very mild acne, the cystic acne can literally kill your dreams and aspirations. I've had panic and anxiety over my skin, skipped trips, vacations and even work. I didn't go to college and never felt good enough for a decent career. And even now I'm 32 years old and I feel worried over so much others, as you said, take for granted. I want to have a cheeseburger and milkshake, I want to go to the beach with a bare face, I want to not think about my skin every few hours. Shit, I want to live life notn live in anxiety. I'm getting better, gradually. Perhaps I'll have to be on meds most of my life but I'll take that over never ending skin issues. Maybe my diet isn't that fun but I will cheat once in a while. I pray that my son will not have the same skin issues, but if hr does at least I know how to help and how to comisserate.
I hope you find a solution, as for everyone on here.

1 hour ago, scarredandsad34 said:

2 hours ago, holdingontohope said:

I know how lonely it is. How no one around you knows what it feels like. How they will never know. How you confiding in someone who does not get it just gets you nowhere. I know how just like that your life has been stolen from you. Waking up and realizing you are almost 30 and you are still battling acne and carrying around physical and emotional scars. The hurt. The pain. Struggling with something so long that it has completely changed you. You aren't the same anymore. You don't dream anymore. You don't go out. You stay home all day researching and hoping to find your cure. When you do go out, all you do is analyze skin, probably staring at people for forever, just envying their skin, and wondering why you can't have that skin. It was better you had stayed at home. You aren't the same you. You can't talk to people the way you used to and your main goal is to draw attention away from yourself. You eat a crazy restrictive diet and the slightest bit of anything will break you out. You can't risk that - another cyst, another deep scar. But yet, there are people, at restaurants, at the bar, just living life, eating whatever, drinking whatever, and being rewarded with perfect skin. Then there is social media - instagram, facebook, etc. And you aren't on any of them, not out of choice, but because you haven't taken a pic in ten years. Then there are the perfect beautiful girls, posting a selfie every second, who you envy, wishing only for normal skin, not even perfect skin. And you are there sitting horrified when your front camera turns on.

You've lost whatever friends you did have because no one seems to get it. There is no chance of you dating - you can't even hang out with your friends, yet how would you be confident around a guy? So you stay home, all day every day. You wake up, brush your teeth, wash your hands, etc, all while avoiding looking into the dreadful mirror, because you know if you do, it will send you spiraling into a pit of depression. If you do look in the mirror, you make sure the lighting is terrible because it makes you feel a bit better.

All you do is dream about the things you want to be doing. You know and realize the beauty of life but you can't taste it. You know that without acne you would be doing everything. And that part hurts you the most.
Acne is the most horrible thing that can happen to you. Facial acne, specifically, is something you can not hide. And no, makeup won't do. It actually looks worse with makeup. Acne IS worse than cancer - most of us are already dead inside.

The dark depressing thoughts you never thought you would have.

I know acne is the most horrible thing because I remember the feeling of not having acne - the freedom - not being dictated by it, not being controlled by it. The ease of doing things without having to even worry about it.
For us unfortunate ones, we find ourselves very alone. No one around us is suffering, as it is easier to suffer with someone. There is no one to talk to because no one gets it. People are too busy living their lives to deal with a continuously depressed "crazy" person.

What is life without living?

So yes, feel because that's the only thing we can do. But don't stay there - because there is no progression if we become stuck in these thoughts.

I've chosen to abandon my thoughts - even though I currently have a breakout that will probably scar. I've chosen to give my burdens to Jesus, asking Him to guide me to a solution, while I hold on to the tiny bit of hope I have left. What is impossible for us is possible with God.

Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something. Make it a mission to fight - find your cure - so you can experience life.

I hope this for all of us.It's Friday night - I know where we all would like to be.

Wow, this sums up my feelings almost exactly, except I do not believe in God

I know how hard this is but I hope that when you get down, you are able to get back up at least for a second. I know that for me, its hills and valleys. It's very hard to think positive thoughts let alone hold onto those thoughts. Do you still suffer with acne or is it just scars? I really do think our only hope is ourselves and others who share our struggles.

1 hour ago, snarkygirl said:

I only half jokingly say, when I die and IF there is a god I'd love to ask why he allowed all the suffering on earth especially innocent people. Acne and cystic fibrosis and malaria and babies dying in filthy countries with no chance. Yes a lot of the evils are caused by peoples bad actions, bit things like acne and chronic diseases and floods, who else could help those but a god? And why hasn't he helped, or so it seems.?

Thanks for putting into words what most of us have felt so truthfully.
While I'm lucky enough to have had periods of non acne nor very mild acne, the cystic acne can literally kill your dreams and aspirations. I've had panic and anxiety over my skin, skipped trips, vacations and even work. I didn't go to college and never felt good enough for a decent career. And even now I'm 32 years old and I feel worried over so much others, as you said, take for granted. I want to have a cheeseburger and milkshake, I want to go to the beach with a bare face, I want to not think about my skin every few hours. Shit, I want to live life notn live in anxiety. I'm getting better, gradually. Perhaps I'll have to be on meds most of my life but I'll take that over never ending skin issues. Maybe my diet isn't that fun but I will cheat once in a while. I pray that my son will not have the same skin issues, but if hr does at least I know how to help and how to comisserate.
I hope you find a solution, as for everyone on here.

Bad things do happen, but I really don't think that God is to blame. My struggles have brought me to God. Who do I blame? The system. Doctors are too busy trying one thing - then automatically on to plan b of prescribing accutane. They don't tell you that foods can cause your acne. I mean come on, we have all this technology but we can't stop acne? I am convinced that the people who took accutane would have eventually grown out of acne. The people who took accutane whose acne came back have a deeper problem.

The devil is always there to drag you down, fall into a sea of depression, and never get out. That's where I have been for awhile.I'm trying to get out of that place and not go back.There is a cure - and I will find it.

"I want to have a cheeseburger and milkshake, I want to go to the beach with a bare face, I want to not think about my skin every few hours. Shit, I want to live life notn live in anxiety. " YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways - my advice is to think positive and get back stronger and more determined to fight than before. Don't underestimate the power of the mind i.e. placebo effect. Imagine your healing, no joke.

I'm looking into the Vitamin B5 thing lately, because really, seems like fat is what is causing my problems!I can't fix my scars until I get rid of my acne.

7 hours ago, holdingontohope said:

I know how hard this is but I hope that when you get down, you are able to get back up at least for a second. I know that for me, its hills and valleys. It's very hard to think positive thoughts let alone hold onto those thoughts. Do you still suffer with acne or is it just scars? I really do think our only hope is ourselves and others who share our struggles. 
Bad things do happen, but I really don't think that God is to blame. My struggles have brought me to God. Who do I blame? The system. Doctors are too busy trying one thing - then automatically on to plan b of prescribing accutane. They don't tell you that foods can cause your acne. I mean come on, we have all this technology but we can't stop acne? I am convinced that the people who took accutane would have eventually grown out of acne. The people who took accutane whose acne came back have a deeper problem.

The devil is always there to drag you down, fall into a sea of depression, and never get out. That's where I have been for awhile. I'm trying to get out of that place and not go back. There is a cure - and I will find it.

"I want to have a cheeseburger and milkshake, I want to go to the beach with a bare face, I want to not think about my skin every few hours. Shit, I want to live life notn live in anxiety. " YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways - my advice is to think positive and get back stronger and more determined to fight than before. Don't underestimate the power of the mind i.e. placebo effect. Imagine your healing, no joke.

I'm looking into the Vitamin B5 thing lately, because really, seems like fat is what is causing my problems! I can't fix my scars until I get rid of my acne. 

 

Thats a good point of view.
Im lucky in that way that I don't really scar  so that's one think I'm grateful for

15 hours ago, snarkygirl said:

Theres an explanation for this, in our primal non rational brain, we avoid those with disabilities or disease because in nature, it coulkd be fatal to interact with a sick individual. Supposefly thats part of the halo effect, attractive= good. So they probably don't realize they are doing it. Not that it makes it any less hurtful.

.

Plus, people need to realize almost none of the celebrities look like their personas without whole teams of people doing hair extensions, make up, chefs/ personal trainers etc. Fake people like the Housewives and Kardashian have had every type of plastic surgery, laser, electrolysis, spa treatment and on top of that, airbrushing. Anybody can appear to look good if you have endless funds.

Yes, the Halo Effect. I read and post a lot on reddit and there are many threads and subs where this is discussed... That so much of life is affected by it is the strongest evidence that humans are just simply smarter animals... Animals have no other way of choosing mates other than looks...

If everyone was really created "equal" in God's image, then why do humans place so much emphasis on what the outside looks like? If anything, my acne scarring getting worse in the past few years has made me more empathetic for people who don't fit societal beauty norms: whether due to skin conditions, bone structure (i.e. a woman with a very masculine face), accidents such as burns, malice (acid attack victims), etc. It is very hard to come to terms with how much better good looking men and women are treated by people.

6 hours ago, IchhasseAkne said:

Yes, the Halo Effect. I read and post a lot on reddit and there are many threads and subs where this is discussed... That so much of life is affected by it is the strongest evidence that humans are just simply smarter animals... Animals have no other way of choosing mates other than looks...

If everyone was really created "equal" in God's image, then why do humans place so much emphasis on what the outside looks like? If anything, my acne scarring getting worse in the past few years has made me more empathetic for people who don't fit societal beauty norms: whether due to skin conditions, bone structure (i.e. a woman with a very masculine face), accidents such as burns, malice (acid attack victims), etc. It is very hard to come to terms with how much better good looking men and women are treated by people.

I agree with you. I can tell you there's a difference from my own experience. While my acne hasn't really affected how people treat me( its usually one- two spios and I'm good at concealing) I was totally treated differently depending on my weight. I was treated way nicer when I had a great body...by men and women. When I gained weight, people either ignored me or kind of looked condescendingly like Im not worth as much as so done in great shape. Even people I've known for years acted differrently. Its kind of dismaying. I gained weight because I take several meds and that's a side effect. But even if being fatter was in my control, so what? There's worse things to be than scarred or fat, like cruel, selfish, evil or malicious.
If you learned tolerance for others that's kudos to you, I wish everyone could learn who a person is is on the inside.