28 minutes ago, Scarface65567 said:you guys are missing the point. When I was around females before I got together with my girlfriend, I never let my scarring affect the way I approach women. no girl has commented on my skin, instead they've said I'm the least shy person they have ever met. because I'm aggressive and my confidence is out the roof. when I interact with people I don't let that affect the way I talk to them but when I am alone it depresses me everyday. it depresses me knowing how life would have been different for me had I not have this difficult issue. I cannot watch movies or go out without observing peoples skin and wondering how, why? do I still go out and have fun? I try to, but my skin prevents me. even when ihve had 6 shots all I can think about is my skin. I still go out, go to school, try to find a job at the moment, do things but my skin is constantly on my mind and it sucks. I have a flippin beard for christs sake just to cover some pitted scarring that is still obvious in harsh lighting.i hate it
I totally agree with you... In my case it doesn't stop me from living the stuff that I like, or having friends or simply traveling. However, when I am alone there are days that I just wish I didn't have them, and this depresses me. A "vain first world" problem? Perhaps, but seriously the person that finds a procedure to erase 100% all my acne scars will have some of my money for sure.
Il90 you made me feel a bit better about myself, thanks for that. I hope you don't take what I said the wrong way, I find it great that you have the strength to accept this.
By no means am I not living my life, friend, family, all included, I just know how much more it could be if not for this "small" inconvenience
Tbh, it is shit it really is. But the only thing I can control is how I react, I chose to be a source of positivity rather than negativity because I can control that at least. It's a fucking mess. I take one day at a time. I chose to have faith that everything will turn out okay. Some days now I don't even care about them. Some days are bad but then I can just be like: oh a shit day lets go home watch a movie and and cook some great food.
Everyones has to deal with something. You know they greatest people in the world? Those who have had to go through some serious shit but still manages to pull it together and smile. Janis Joplin had scarring. Beethoven was deaf. Stephen Hawkin has ALS. This is our test. It is a shit test life has given us. Happiness has nothing to do with scarring it has to do with your mind. You can change your mind. You can be happy.
Chose to deal with your problems in a productive way. Understand that EVERYONE has to go through something, people out there aren't all carefree. You can't be so wrapped up in your own problems, you get consumed by them. You can't decide what happens to you you can only decide what kind of person you will be when shit happens to you. So, who are you going to be?
2 minutes ago, il90 said:everyTbh, it is shit it really is. But the only thing I can control is how I react, I chose to be a source of positivity rather than negativity because I can control that at least. It's a fucking mess. I take one day at a time. I chose to have faith that everything will turn out okay. Some days now I don't even care about them. Some days are bad but then I can just be like: oh a shit day lets go home watch a movie and and cook some great food.
Everyones has to deal with something. You know they greatest people in the world? Those who have had to go through some serious shit but still manages to pull it together and smile. Janis Joplin had scarring. Beethoven was deaf. Stephen Hawkin has ALS. This is our test. It is a shit test life has given us. Happiness has nothing to do with scarring it has to do with your mind. You can change your mind. You can be happy.
Chose to deal with your problems in a productive way. Understand that EVERYONE has to go through something, people out there aren't all carefree. You can't be so wrapped up in your own problems, you get consumed by them. You can't decide what happens to you you can only decide what kind of person you will be when shit happens to you. So, who are you going to be?
everyone has to go through something yes but we have to wear it on our faces 24/7 lol
20 hours ago, il90 said:Stop it. Life happens. You deal. I did not either have these scars when I was born, yet I am able to deal? I lost about every friend I had. But, I made new ones. I made a new life. Please don't be that one that has that bad vibe. I have seen people with scarring who are BEAUTIFUL. Yes, actually but they don't go around thinking they are disgusting, they think yeah so what? They are are battle scars.
Wow didn't know there was a cure for loosing a leg, an arm, an eye?? What about having half your body blasted away by a grenade when you are 5? What we are talking about is all shallow, it doesn't hurt. We have the ability to disregard all of this and go out and live TODAY.The most memorable awesome people in the world weren't perfect...
If people look at your scar? Look back and shrug. Let them look. You have to be strong. Try it today look them in the eye with all that strength I know you have. Do it once, then twice... It is more in your mind than out there but you have to take that first step....
You should also seek psychological help. I did. I am not embarrassed about that it probably saved my life.
I second getting help.
Its normal to not enjoy having a scar but its unhealthy to let it ruin your life. You may be unable to put it in perspective if you're depressed or have mental underlying issues.
A few years ago I thought life wasn't worth living if I can't ever be perfect...that led to a mental hospital. I got meds and help and I'm 1000% happier today. I don't have perfect skin but I dont care that much anymore. Life goes on.
20 hours ago, il90 said:Stop it. Life happens. You deal. I did not either have these scars when I was born, yet I am able to deal? I lost about every friend I had. But, I made new ones. I made a new life. Please don't be that one that has that bad vibe. I have seen people with scarring who are BEAUTIFUL. Yes, actually but they don't go around thinking they are disgusting, they think yeah so what? They are are battle scars.
Wow didn't know there was a cure for loosing a leg, an arm, an eye?? What about having half your body blasted away by a grenade when you are 5? What we are talking about is all shallow, it doesn't hurt. We have the ability to disregard all of this and go out and live TODAY.The most memorable awesome people in the world weren't perfect...
If people look at your scar? Look back and shrug. Let them look. You have to be strong. Try it today look them in the eye with all that strength I know you have. Do it once, then twice... It is more in your mind than out there but you have to take that first step....
You should also seek psychological help. I did. I am not embarrassed about that it probably saved my life.
I second getting help.
Its normal to not enjoy having a scar but its unhealthy to let it ruin your life. You may be unable to put it in perspective if you're depressed or have mental underlying issues.
A few years ago I thought life wasn't worth living if I can't ever be perfect...that led to a mental hospital. I got meds and help and I'm 1000% happier today. I don't have perfect skin but I dont care that much anymore. Life goes on.
5 hours ago, Scarface65567 said:5 hours ago, il90 said:everyTbh, it is shit it really is. But the only thing I can control is how I react, I chose to be a source of positivity rather than negativity because I can control that at least. It's a fucking mess. I take one day at a time. I chose to have faith that everything will turn out okay. Some days now I don't even care about them. Some days are bad but then I can just be like: oh a shit day lets go home watch a movie and and cook some great food.
Everyones has to deal with something. You know they greatest people in the world? Those who have had to go through some serious shit but still manages to pull it together and smile. Janis Joplin had scarring. Beethoven was deaf. Stephen Hawkin has ALS. This is our test. It is a shit test life has given us. Happiness has nothing to do with scarring it has to do with your mind. You can change your mind. You can be happy.
Chose to deal with your problems in a productive way. Understand that EVERYONE has to go through something, people out there aren't all carefree. You can't be so wrapped up in your own problems, you get consumed by them. You can't decide what happens to you you can only decide what kind of person you will be when shit happens to you. So, who are you going to be?
everyone has to go through something yes but we have to wear it on our faces 24/7 lol
When I die Im going to ask God why bad things are allowed to happen to people. At least that's the plan.
Hi All, this is my first time posting. I have been really lucky to have found an amazing dermatologist who has been treating me for 15 years. I had cystic acne covering my face and back. After an Accutane treatment, the aftermath was ice-pick scars that covered most of my cheeks. At the time, the dermatologist was really honest and said she was sorry - with the tech available in my country back in 2001 there was little hope for improvement. Anything available was too expensive and wouldn't make much of a difference. So I learned to live with the scars. In 2008 after an acne flare-up she offered punch-excisions. The procedure worked wonders, improvement was immediate. One day the ice-pick scars were there, 5-days after they were gone. I still had rolling scars but I could not afford a laser resurfacing treatment. I moved on to a better job and started to save money for the lasers. On Friday I am having my 4th laser done (Exelo 2). You can hardly tell now I had really bad acne once. I am pretty confident that after this laser (or perhaps even a 5th one) ALL scars will be gone. This is to say that technology is improving. So for all of you out there that still haven't found the right treatment, I really do believe there is hope! Techniques are getting better and better. Sometimes it is hard to find a good dermatologist or surgeon, but believe me they are out there. I consulted with so many awful doctors to no avail until I found the right one. My advice is to be patient and if scars really bother you don't give up. I suffered with acne from the age of 13 and now at 37 I can say acne is a thing of the past. Hang in there!
This is a good thread, makes me and im sure many others feel like they are not alone. Iv took the decision to get an appointment with the doctors. I have had my partner and a lot of close people who I know don't lie trying to tell me they really don't see what im seeing and certainly not to the extent I think I have it. I know I do have scars all over my face, minimal in terms of noticing I don't know. I know every inch of my skin from studying it that I can't get a real picture of what other people see. To me everyone sees every tiny little dent and every single imperfection in general. BDD? I don't know but im so sick of hiding in doors at the weekend and crying everyday that I know I need some sort of help. I am also going down the route of getting tested for lupus ( long story and totally unrelated to my scars) and as stress can be a huge trigger It's something else I could do without.
Almost every mirror in my house has been removed, the only one standing is in the bathroom and even that make me anxious. I don't think I look normal, I know im never going to be a model but to just have normal ( not even flawless just NORMAL)looking skinis all I could wish for.
On 7/4/2016 at 11:54 PM, scarredandsad34 said:Leave me the fuck alone already, you little pissant. This thread was created for people suffering from the physiological effects of scarring. To vent, free of judgment. I have a noticeable facial scar that bothers me, so I have a right to post here.God, I wish I could block your ass or hit "unsubscribe" to your posts. Lay off me, already.
i can't see how anyone can justify making light of anyone else's scars or problems. None of us are here cause were feeling great about ourselves! The last thing we need is more criticism.
On Ž7Ž/Ž6Ž/Ž2016 at 9:23 AM, clareabella said:This is a good thread, makes me and im sure many others feel like they are not alone. Iv took the decision to get an appointment with the doctors. I have had my partner and a lot of close people who I know don't lie trying to tell me they really don't see what im seeing and certainly not to the extent I think I have it. I know I do have scars all over my face, minimal in terms of noticing I don't know. I know every inch of my skin from studying it that I can't get a real picture of what other people see. To me everyone sees every tiny little dent and every single imperfection in general. BDD? I don't know but im so sick of hiding in doors at the weekend and crying everyday that I know I need some sort of help. I am also going down the route of getting tested for lupus ( long story and totally unrelated to my scars) and as stress can be a huge trigger It's something else I could do without.
Almost every mirror in my house has been removed, the only one standing is in the bathroom and even that make me anxious. I don't think I look normal, I know im never going to be a model but to just have normal ( not even flawless just NORMAL) looking skin is all I could wish for.
Good move
Yes this is the obsession you can get, have been there myself.
If you are a sensitive or very nervous personality it is easier to get obsessed by these kinds of things. HSP or perfectionists are the ones most likely to get obsessed. Because they notice everything instead of having a shield around them that filters information. Or people tend to attack themselves with failure of past expectations, self pity or other judgmental thoughts. Instead of all the positives.
What might help is a two way treatment, which is psychological help, with anti depressants or light doses Seroquel.
Even if it isn't BDD it can help you build a shield not take it to serious and think about it all day. Gets the stress level down.
Another good thing is sport. Besides the achievement of going out and winning small successes it helps depression your looks and stress level.
Meditation keep your mind clear
Also make an appointments for a good treatment. Then expect to better it and not cure it completely.
like you said Just make it acceptable, to free your mind.
Try to go outside with a different mindset. Do things that keep your mind of like going for a walk. Being around other people you care about.
. (I have seen girls with acne scars that are very attractive to me, even more so because they suffer from the same emotional struggle.) nobody is perfect
Anyway people can judge about scars the wrong way from their perspective that's why I want to be understood and get treatment.
You compromise with them and also yourself by working on you own mental health and perception and getting good treatment anyway.
You got to figure out the truth and what works for yourself best,
I try looking at myself without emotions . in a scar friendly tall mirror. what you would like to change to make it acceptable. If you are a good person with positive things going on . And if it is really something that we let stop ourselfs from living our lives more.
For myself it is about making it more acceptable, I hadn't been on this forum for over a year now I am back to some treatment and hope I can accept it better again. Going to do derma rolling with led and fractional laser to keep up might do tca cross on deeper scars.
This is the problem though. Yes the life you knew is gone and you need to accept that. However, you are still alive so you need to start building a life around the things that you have instead.
Try to actively pursue something else in life instead of looks. Hiking/traveling to other cultures/cooking/studying/sports(yoga, running)/volunteering/change careers. You need to take a step back from your looks and forget it for awhile, screw it all, don't bother will all that for now. I know it is hard but what choice do we have?
Listen how you react in such situations is what makes who you are, it will characterise you. Who do you want to be? A person that locks themselves in and succumbs to weakness? Or, do you want to step up with strength and continue living?
This is a battle and it won't be easy. But in the end if you give it all you've got you will be better I promise. That is what being positive means.
I don't really think life is shit. Acne is shit but not life. What if you were a ghost or something and couldn't eat or touch or do anything really. Probably the only thing you would have wanted was to be able to feel or taste, looks wouldn't even have crossed your mind. I think because we have nothing else to think about we get so wrapped up in what we look like. Keep busy. Go out and live.
48 minutes ago, Worriedscared1 said:My whole upper face is destroyed. It happened so fast under accutane I will never accept it. I lived most of my life with smooth skin now the only non pore bits are smooth (eye area, ridge of nose). I wont accept it.
Consider Dermabrasion + Subcision?
What does your scarring look like?
1 hour ago, Worriedscared1 said:My whole upper face is destroyed. It happened so fast under accutane I will never accept it. I lived most of my life with smooth skin now the only non pore bits are smooth (eye area, ridge of nose). I wont accept it.
im the same, i went from flawless skin everyone complemented to ravaged skin in 3 months via hormonal imbalance which ruined my skin. Even then it wasnt really bad but after laser treatment i can no longer leave the house
you only realise how good you had it once it has been taken away. i never even used to wash my face and now i spend 12 hours a day researching skin products and treatments
9 minutes ago, SKINSKINSKINSKINSKINSKINSKIN said:im the same, i went from flawless skin everyone complemented to ravaged skin in 3 months via hormonal imbalance which ruined my skin. Even then it wasnt really bad but after laser treatment i can no longer leave the houseyou only realise how good you had it once it has been taken away. i never even used to wash my face and now i spend 12 hours a day researching skin products and treatments
what exactly did you take?
12 hours ago, Worriedscared1 said:My whole upper face is destroyed. It happened so fast under accutane I will never accept it. I lived most of my life with smooth skin now the only non pore bits are smooth (eye area, ridge of nose). I wont accept it.
So did I. Came when I was 23, had some mild before that but never scarring. Was left with scarring after Accutane that I never had before. This is pretty common I hear.
8 hours ago, il90 said:So did I. Came when I was 23, had some mild before that but never scarring. Was left with scarring after Accutane that I never had before. This is pretty common I hear.
I want to mention I like your positive attitude.
My boyfriend was on accutane for a bit longer than a month and had suicide attempt, and years later he has joint pain and IBS. Oh and still gets some acne& rosacea.
On 7/5/2016 at 1:28 AM, il90 said:Doesn't anyone have anything good to say? I have been away from some time from this forum so I have to let you know that you can live with scars, you can be happy with scars. You know how? You just accept it and move on. You take all those money you were gonna spend on scar treatments say fuck it and travel the world. You know how? Just do it.
I know some of you will think I speak harshly, but you really do make your reality. Forget your skin. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. You didn't do this. Don't hide inside all your life, don't let society take your life away because they are obsessed with flawlessness. I know it will be so hard to take those first steps. Get rid off all the negativity, the the bullshit shallow friendships and create a life. Happiness is not about being perfect. Please think about this before it is too late.
I have seen people walk proudly with their scars, I wish there was more of us though. I'm tired of the fact that people with specifically acne scarring have to hide. Make a stand, don't be that weak person who couldn't take adversity. Stand strong with scarring, make a statement for all of those like us out there. We need to start somewhere.
Consider the scenario where someone who has had breast cancer cannot go outside because they are afraid of getting ridiculed? What would you tell this person? That she should stay at home and hide because society doesn't tolerate people with real issues? Fuck no. You would tell her that this was crazy you have every right to be out there don't ever think otherwise! Stand up for your fellow people who are fighting the same fight.
You think our pain in underrepresented? Then go out there and help us.Stand strong with us. Make scarring acceptable by showing them that it is.
As an end note from Major Lazer.... Stand up like a soldier... baby...
How can you over something effect in your life? and talking about relationships, am almost 30 and still single. months ago i decided to do what you are talking about, with little confidencethat the appearance doesn't matter I started talking to a guy I liked and have feelings for him, you know what he said? he told me "you need to see a plastic surgeon "!
1 hour ago, NJAO said:On 04/07/2016 at 10:28 PM, il90 said:Doesn't anyone have anything good to say? I have been away from some time from this forum so I have to let you know that you can live with scars, you can be happy with scars. You know how? You just accept it and move on. You take all those money you were gonna spend on scar treatments say fuck it and travel the world. You know how? Just do it.
I know some of you will think I speak harshly, but you really do make your reality. Forget your skin. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. You didn't do this. Don't hide inside all your life, don't let society take your life away because they are obsessed with flawlessness. I know it will be so hard to take those first steps. Get rid off all the negativity, the the bullshit shallow friendships and create a life. Happiness is not about being perfect. Please think about this before it is too late.
I have seen people walk proudly with their scars, I wish there was more of us though. I'm tired of the fact that people with specifically acne scarring have to hide. Make a stand, don't be that weak person who couldn't take adversity. Stand strong with scarring, make a statement for all of those like us out there. We need to start somewhere.
Consider the scenario where someone who has had breast cancer cannot go outside because they are afraid of getting ridiculed? What would you tell this person? That she should stay at home and hide because society doesn't tolerate people with real issues? Fuck no. You would tell her that this was crazy you have every right to be out there don't ever think otherwise! Stand up for your fellow people who are fighting the same fight.
You think our pain in underrepresented? Then go out there and help us.Stand strong with us. Make scarring acceptable by showing them that it is.
As an end note from Major Lazer.... Stand up like a soldier... baby...
How can you over something effect in your life? and talking about relationships, am almost 30 and still single. months ago i decided to do what you are talking about, with little confidencethat the appearance doesn't matter I started talking to a guy I liked and have feelings for him, you know what he said? he told me "you need to see a plastic surgeon "!
can you explain how it played out in more detail? i have had rejections from my skin but none of them actually pinpointed it like that. ive had some brutal experiances which make me not go outside anymore too. the people who say just be confident or its all in your head are setting you up for failure
19 minutes ago, SKINSKINSKINSKINSKINSKINSKIN said:can you explain how it played out in more detail? i have had rejections from my skin but none of them actually pinpointed it like that. ive had some brutal experiances which make me not go outside anymore too. the people who say just be confident or its all in your head are setting you up for failure
Actually, he said it indirectly , he is my colleague and we were talking about changing jobs, he was like you don't need to switchto sales its bad choice full of pressure, instead, I advise you to stay in your position ,relax and listen to your favorite music at your plasticsurgeonclinic !!!. I was shocked and cried so hard, it's really hurt.
How do you know the rejections reasons were from your skin while none pointed it?