Better to avoid society as much as possible, because they do care about acne scars.
But, what if you learned that it is possible for you not to care about acne scars. And what if, after learning this and gaining a fresh perspective, you realized that maybe others' do not, in fact, care about it as much as you had perceived. Do you think this may be a possibility?
I do think it is very possible to not care, when I was a hard working A student in high school (and a kissless virgin), I didn't care about acne even though I had it much worse than I do now. However, it doesn't change the fact that people subconsciously judge me negatively now that I have scars.
Others do care, if I didn't have scars I would try my hardest to finally start dating, but I know it is very futile. I will just get rejected once women realize that they only see me as a friend at best. The thing that hurts most is that because of something beyond my control, I will be a lifelong virgin. Nothing worse than being a bigtime loser, and not even being in control of your own life to even have a below average life, something beyond me.
You are very much in control of your life, it's just easier for you to believe that you have no control, cause that means you don't even have to try and get out of your comfort zone.
You say that women will only reject you, but how many women have you actually approached?
You claim that people despise you because of your scarring, but you don't even seem to be interacting with people much, if I'm honest.
I am positive most women could not care less about your scarring, and while it may be easier for you to blame your lack of relationships on your skin, that is not your real problem.Anyone who wants a relationship will find one provided that he is willing to be vulnerable and put himself out there, which is not easy, believe me, I know.
I guess my point is that your mind is your real problem, not your skin.Don't lie to yourself.
Sorry if this was too harsh, but it's the truth.
EagerMiner, again, I know it's hard, I myself have severe acne scarring. I've seen photos of your scars and they seem mild to me.
Women will have an interest in you because there's more to you than your skin.
And when it comes to rejection, hey, none of us like it.Let me be clear, some girls will reject you.But everyone will experience it at one point or another, even people with flawless skin, it's a fact of life.
The only way to avoid rejection is to avoid life itself, which in the end probably hurts even more.
EagerMiner, again, I know it's hard, I myself have severe acne scarring. I've seen photos of your scars and they seem mild to me.
Women will have an interest in you because there's more to you than your skin.
And when it comes to rejection, hey, none of us like it.Let me be clear, some girls will reject you.But everyone will experience it at one point or another, even people with flawless skin, it's a fact of life.
The only way to avoid rejection is to avoid life itself, which in the end probably hurts even more.
They might be mild-moderate in relation to a spectrum of levels of scarring, but since I have zero social experience, and was always socially awkward even before the acne, it still impacts me and destroys any hope of having confidence with others. It is not only holding me back socially, but I am failing job interview after job interview due to it.
I find it hard to believe that your mild level of scarring prevents you from getting a job.It's more likely your insecurity is the real problem.
I'm not saying you shouldn't work on improving your skin, if that's something that bothers you, but don't let your whole life revolve around it, cause one day you might be happy with your skin but the problems you had that are not skin-related are still gonna be there.
You shouldn't put your life on hold as you try to improve your scars.
Eager,
I looked at your pictures. Can you clarify something for me? I saw three sets of photos.
Is this set the before?
http://imgur.com/a/rxDBY#tR3ueJp
And this set is how you look currently after multiple fraxel restores and such?
http://imgur.com/a/Gj8Xf#9C0tPm2
If that's the case, I can see an improvement. Am I confused?
EagerMiner, again, I know it's hard, I myself have severe acne scarring. I've seen photos of your scars and they seem mild to me.
Women will have an interest in you because there's more to you than your skin.
And when it comes to rejection, hey, none of us like it.Let me be clear, some girls will reject you.But everyone will experience it at one point or another, even people with flawless skin, it's a fact of life.
The only way to avoid rejection is to avoid life itself, which in the end probably hurts even more.
They might be mild-moderate in relation to a spectrum of levels of scarring, but since I have zero social experience, and was always socially awkward even before the acne, it still impacts me and destroys any hope of having confidence with others. It is not only holding me back socially, but I am failing job interview after job interview due to it.
Laser doesn't do anything for scars. The effect is temporary. Subcision followed by a filler/fat grafting + needling is the way to go. There are already stem cell clinical trials going on which could eliminate scars after a few more years.
I agree if you can get counseling and learn to be happy, that is the best goal. Because really, in the end, if you equate happiness with looking good, you will eventually be miserable because these bodies weren't meant to look good forever, and as you age you will be paranoid about everything and spend all your money on face lifts, etc. and probably end up looking like the cat woman. I understand people who have severe scarring want to try some things, but if they don't work, don't lose your mind and spend the rest of your life trying to fix it, it may just not be fixable.
I have some slight scars that have improved all they are going to improve without a miracle treatment. Mine is not genetic, everyone in my family has good skin, even my twin sister, so please don't go killing your mothers, peeps, LOL! Maybe I do have a bad immune system or something, but I would never blame my poor mother, why not just blame God like everyone else does, he is more responsible. Some people need real emotional help on here, that is for sure.
People have to live with the hand they are dealt. You don't have to have children but God put us all here, for a reason, I believe, and it wasn't just to look pretty. I completely understand that we all are socially wired to like the pretty people, but once you get to be a certain age (I am 38) people really do come around and see that one's mind and soul are important. Unless you live in LA or something. Especially with men, you can be admired for your mind, or your good works. You do not have to have perfect skin to be happy. You don't even need to be good looking. If you have inherited a mental illness, (maybe the hormonal fluctuations helped cause your acne) you should get professional help, because it is a health problem and there is no shame in asking for help.
Eager, if the pics that were posted 4 weeks ago is how you look currently, I think you've made a considerable amount of progress. I'm actually very surprised that these results were from Fraxel Restore, which has gotten bad reviews in the past.
Yes, I had 6 sessions from april-november in 2012, and then took pics this october, and had a 7th after that.
The before pics are after I shaved so the skin was very red, but I still know for sure that obvious improvement occurred. My settings were 45-70mj (progressive) on type IV skin with no side effects.
I am expecting more improvement from enerjet and professional dermarolling. A few thousand dollars more can't hurt me.
>I agree if you can get counseling and learn to be happy, that is the best goal. Because really, in the end, if you equate happiness with looking good, you will eventually be miserable because these bodies weren't meant to look good forever, and as you age you will be paranoid about everything and spend all your money on face lifts, etc. and probably end up looking like the cat woman. I understand people who have severe scarring want to try some things, but if they don't work, don't lose your mind and spend the rest of your life trying to fix it, it may just not be fixable.
I have some slight scars that have improved all they are going to improve without a miracle treatment. Mine is not genetic, everyone in my family has good skin, even my twin sister, so please don't go killing your mothers, peeps, LOL! Maybe I do have a bad immune system or something, but I would never blame my poor mother, why not just blame God like everyone else does, he is more responsible. Some people need real emotional help on here, that is for sure.
Eager, it sounds to me like you are caught in a perpetual negative feedback loop of your own making. You cynically and incorrectly expect the worst form others, this determines how you relate to other people, through your actions (or lack thereof) you project your negativity outward with the consequence that others project it right back at you. In the end your predictions of social ostracism and isolation become self-made and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Eager, it sounds to me like you are caught in a perpetual negative feedback loop of your own making. You cynically and incorrectly expect the worst form others, this determines how you relate to other people, through your actions (or lack thereof) you project your negativity outward with the consequence that others project it right back at you. In the end your predictions of social ostracism and isolation become self-made and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Sound like sophistry to me, I have never seen a man with acne scars ever look happy or normal, deformed freak status is what society sees us as, and it reflects in our behavior. We know we aren't desired, so we develop social anxiety and inferiority complexes.
Um...Danny Trejo, Edward James Olmos, and Laurence Fishburne all have moderate to severe scars and are married and successful. Chris Pine has acne scars and he's practically seen as a sex symbol. Please get help.
Some rather interesting and disturbing comments on this thread. I stumbled onto the correct process for scar revision, after trying Dermabrasion and Regular full face CO2. EagerMiner will do Re:store and boldly declare that nothing works. His negativity shows through on every post and he wonders why he can't get past the interview. We have somebody on here who hates there mother - really.
To those who don't think they are judged instantly, I think you are being more than a little naive. Everyone is judged instantly, and unconsciously. You automatically have a strike against you with acne scars, that is why you must go on the attack rather than sit back and accept what fate has dealt you.
Some rather interesting and disturbing comments on this thread. I stumbled onto the correct process for scar revision, after trying Dermabrasion and Regular full face CO2. EagerMiner will do Re:store and boldly declare that nothing works. His negativity shows through on every post and he wonders why he can't get past the interview. We have somebody on here who hates there mother - really.
To those who don't think they are judged instantly, I think you are being more than a little naive. Everyone is judged instantly, and unconsciously. You automatically have a strike against you with acne scars, that is why you must go on the attack rather than sit back and accept what fate has dealt you.
I can't do repair because I am not white. Restore was somewhat useful but I am getting enerjet and 1.5mm dermarolling, Not sure what else I can do but I am doing everything I can for my skin type.
At least you are honest that people judge you instantly, how can you blame me for not trying repair?
Eager, it sounds to me like you are caught in a perpetual negative feedback loop of your own making. You cynically and incorrectly expect the worst form others, this determines how you relate to other people, through your actions (or lack thereof) you project your negativity outward with the consequence that others project it right back at you. In the end your predictions of social ostracism and isolation become self-made and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Sound like sophistry to me, I have never seen a man with acne scars ever look happy or normal, deformed freak status is what society sees us as, and it reflects in our behavior. We know we aren't desired, so we develop social anxiety and inferiority complexes.
Um...Danny Trejo, Edward James Olmos, and Laurence Fishburne all have moderate to severe scars and are married and successful. Chris Pine has acne scars and he's practically seen as a sex symbol. Please get help.
Chris Pine is a very handsome tall white guy with blue eyes, and nobody knows he has scars because they are far more minor than anyone on this board.
His scars aren't "far more minor than anyone on this board. (2004)" He likely uses makeup (you can too - I do), which makes them look not as bad. And all 3 of the other people are not white.
Eager, it sounds to me like you are caught in a perpetual negative feedback loop of your own making. You cynically and incorrectly expect the worst form others, this determines how you relate to other people, through your actions (or lack thereof) you project your negativity outward with the consequence that others project it right back at you. In the end your predictions of social ostracism and isolation become self-made and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Sound like sophistry to me, I have never seen a man with acne scars ever look happy or normal, deformed freak status is what society sees us as, and it reflects in our behavior. We know we aren't desired, so we develop social anxiety and inferiority complexes.
Um...Danny Trejo, Edward James Olmos, and Laurence Fishburne all have moderate to severe scars and are married and successful. Chris Pine has acne scars and he's practically seen as a sex symbol. Please get help.
Chris Pine is a very handsome tall white guy with blue eyes, and nobody knows he has scars because they are far more minor than anyone on this board.
His scars aren't "far more minor than anyone on this board. (2004)" He likely uses makeup (you can too - I do), which makes them look not as bad. And all 3 of the other people are not white.
I already plan on using makeup in the near future. And those three are lucky, most guys with this kind of scarring are lifelong virgins. Pine also looks very good, even if you gave him more scarring he would still be able to live a good life because his face and coloring is top-notch.
You will always look for an excuse - he's white, they're lucky, etc. Consider yourself lucky to be male - some women go for the rugged, scarred look even. This isn't an acne scar issue, it's a problem with self esteem - if it wasn't your skin, it would be your nose or jaw or height and so on.