This isn't an update.. more of a vent.. i feel like if anyone can understand my situation it would be whoever is reading this.
About a month ago my fiance (been together 6 years in january) walked out on me. It was just before my birthday. I feel like this is hitting me harder because of my scarring. I cant help thinking that it was the cause.. and that he'll now find himself a girl with perfect skin. Who doesn't need to wear make up everyday. Or spend an hour in the bathroom every morning covering her face. A girl who will put her face under the water when they go swimming.. and who can look people directly in the eye without feeling anxious.
i know people will say 'if thats the case, he wasnt worth it anyway' ... but that really doesnt help the feeling i have. I feel sick. All day, everyday.
i feel like i wont feel healthy or happy inside until i look better on the outside. And i think im still a long way from where i want to be.
all i can do is keep trying, i guess. I just hope i get to a point where im not so obsessed with my skin.. thats all i want.
So he was with you when your skin was worse,its getting better and he walked!
i got this same kinda shit going on,good looking but got scarring,birds fancey me but if a guys ugly and got better skin that makes em good looking.
just keep pressing on,keep your lifestyle good,get your skin sorted out.
just simply ask him whats on his case.
the bird i fancey always wants something and always complains about my looks,cos i am saving for infini and she knows it says i should save,which is right but it shouldnt cost to be with a woman?you all crazy or something?
Regardless,come back any time you feel like a rant,at least i got noone who can walk so i can take it.
maybe he started drugs or something?
Aww hunni so sorry to hear that. I often think if ever my partner left me he would be happier to find someone who has perfect skin etc so i know how your trail of thought is right now. I guess all we want is to fit in.
But can i just say that your honestly so beautiful. Infact your so pretty that your the kind of girl that i would get jelous of!
There is probably nothing I can say to make you feel better. But I do want to say. We all are battling our demons and feel rather low some time because of flaws. Might I suggest seeing a therapist, ... isn't that part of your medical system in AUS. It's really tough to do this alone. Your doing the work now (skin improvements) and I think you could use some support. It's a hard journey. I know here we have a smart phone app for therapy called Talkspace, do you have something like that there on your smatphones.
IF he stayed for 6 years it wasn't your scars that made him go away, ... 6 years is a long time. Perhaps he had his own flaws or felt yours made you special, and now you do not need him (his insecurity) because your improving yourself. IF he left you for improving yourself that is on him and a reflection of things to come. Can you imagine if you were married. 6 years has to hit hard. 9 times out of 10 it's not the skin, flaw, or whatever (various people have issues), it's the self esteem and anxiety that stems from the issue. People break up for stupid superficial reasons, and there is absolutely nothing we can do. You need someone when they take those vows (bad times / good times, health, sickness) will stand by you. A loving heart sees past flaws to the beauty inside that is the endearing part ( we loose looks as we age). Make a list on this list I want you to put all the bad things about him, weather complaints, disagreements, incompatibilities, and things that hurt you. ON the other side of the list I want you to make all the positive things, the things you loved, the things he did to make your relationship solid, and the things he did that were kind. The exercise is a reflection of bad and good, so you can see everything was not perfect.
Work on you, improve yourself, it seems you know the things you want to do (swim and put your face in water), look people in the eye with confidence. Feel worthy regardless of your looks, this can be done with a therapist and is great work for deeper meaning. We know some of the things to do to fix the superficial (you have a plan for that). How about a plan to work on the aspects of emotional intelligence and self esteem.
6 years is a long time, it will take you time to get over this, ... be well. Exercise, chocolate, and time with your friends / Family will help. The holidays is a tough time for everyone to feel alone.
BA
On 11/27/2017 at 4:19 AM, Quadboy said:i got this same kinda shit going on,good looking but got scarring,birds fancey me but if a guys ugly and got better skin that makes em good looking.
Same here. I know all the girls would hit on me if it weren't for these damn scars. All the guys are secretly admiring my good looks too. LMAO
@91baby Spill your beans (eg, bitch, moan, and howl) and simply move on. There are plenty of guys who will look at you from inside out, not the other way around.
@91baby I'm so sorry you have to experience this right now
Thanks for everyone's kind words, it means a lot that you have taken the time to respond.
i have a lot of healing to do and luckily we have 4 therapy/counciling sessions available a year through work that i will take advantage of as im really not in a good place. One side of me wants to throw myself into treatments and just go all in but the other side of me cant even find the motivation to pick up the damn phone to make an appointment let alone actually go in.
i thought filler was going to change my life but it really hasn't given me anything to be overly excited about. The right side is exactly the same to me. Left side has improvement but not $600 worth i dont think.
if you guys could take a look at these pics i would be more than grateful. Im wanting some opinions on whether i should top up the left side with filler again and then go for a tca peel or if tca should be the next step? If i do go back in for filler it would be for left side only which is still going to be $600 as the filler comes as 1ml. The right side just doesn't have the scarring for filler.
im at the point i just want to literally rip my face off. Dealing with this break up is hard enough without the added stress of worrying about my skin..
Yes Don't start peels till you go those 4 therapy sessions, it's a rollercoaster and you don't want the ugly phase of peels right now with the pain you feel. IT's alot to deal with, like a roller coaster ups and downs. Don't put all the pain and anger into how you look, this will do more damage and hurt you more, see the therapist ASAP 😉
I think peels are your best bet as we planned before, filler is nice but it's time to peel. For your type of scarring the only thing filler would do is augment the whole cheek (not spot correct). Either do those Medium strngth peels, it will take several, or get a sedated deep dermis peel and have them know you want to get under the scars (so it must be strong plastic surgeon, etc). Either works DIY, or DR.
No more filler till you peel, not worth it. Filler one can put tons more in, but I don't think this will give you what you want. Wait for that till you get to the place you want with peels. If you would rather another option for your condition is pro fractional resurfacing and take off some layers to get smoother skin, this is of course a laser with side effects, and you can do this after the peels if you don't get to the point you want to be at (last resort). If anything it will take time doing DIY or a major peel. It's also about how your skin heals.
6 years are a very long time, I don't think he break up because of the scarring. My girlfriend always says she don't even notice my scars because she loves me and she can't see any difference between my old skin and my new scarred skin (sometimes I believe I'm just crazy and don't have to do any treatments but I will give Intracel a try
Maybe you should also look into RF microneedling, I think you may could get some improvment. But before this go to your therapy. My scars encumbered me very hard in the past and I got depression but since I go to my therapy I'm even on a point where I don't want to treat them anymore
Sorry for my bad english, hope you understand anyway evertything
On 30/11/2017 at 1:40 AM, beautifulambition said:Yes Don't start peels till you go those 4 therapy sessions, it's a rollercoaster and you don't want the ugly phase of peels right now with the pain you feel. IT's alot to deal with, like a roller coaster ups and downs. Don't put all the pain and anger into how you look, this will do more damage and hurt you more, see the therapist ASAP 😉
I think peels are your best bet as we planned before, filler is nice but it's time to peel. For your type of scarring the only thing filler would do is augment the whole cheek (not spot correct). Either do those Medium strngth peels, it will take several, or get a sedated deep dermis peel and have them know you want to get under the scars (so it must be strong plastic surgeon, etc). Either works DIY, or DR.
No more filler till you peel, not worth it. Filler one can put tons more in, but I don't think this will give you what you want. Wait for that till you get to the place you want with peels. If you would rather another option for your condition is pro fractional resurfacing and take off some layers to get smoother skin, this is of course a laser with side effects, and you can do this after the peels if you don't get to the point you want to be at (last resort). If anything it will take time doing DIY or a major peel. It's also about how your skin heals.
I 100% know what you're saying about waiting and its probably the smart thing to do but i CANNOT wait! Tonight im going to do 12.5% tca peel (i know it wont do much, its more of a prep thing.. and to see if i can tolerate it & how my skins heals etc) and then i have an appointment with my doc on 14.12 and i will be talking to her about doing a 25% peel when they open up again in january. Whilst im waiting ill move up to a 15%. Lasers will 100% be last resort. Way too scared and have heard and seen way too many horror stories with next to none success stories!!
11 hours ago, PetPeeve said:Yup, I've got the same type of scarring you have. It's like a soft shadowy texture. Very clearly there, but subtle at the same time. It's maddening!
have you done anything about your scars? Tried anything? Any advice?
8 hours ago, QuanHenry said:I've been silently following this thread and cheering you on. Not sure it would help, but if you ever want a stranger to talk to you can message me.
thank you thats awfully nice of you everyone's super nice here, hence why i felt comfortable enough to have a serious break down on this thread haha
I just wanted to update to say i diluted my 30% tca peel to 10% and applied 2 layers lastnight. I didnt want to go a higher % because, one, i need to wear makeup mid next week onwards so i can't afford to be peeling and two, because i just wanted to see what it was like and to prep my skin.
it felt the same as the 40% glycolic peels ive done in the past, so i know the 25% tca peel i want done is going to be a kicker haha.
im just keeping my face wet constantly now and not using anything on my skin. Hopefully the peel makes me feel a little 'fresher' by next weekend when i have an event.
i have an appt on the 14.12 to discuss the next steps with my doc. Im wondering if i should email her and just ask her to book me in for the peel instead, rather than have a consult and then have to wait until january? Would there be any harm in jumping from 10% to 25%? And is there any harm in performing a 25% peel on skin 14 days after a 10% peel? And if i go in for the peel on the 14th.. will i be ok by christmas to wear makeup again?
thanks in advance for any advice!
I respectfully disagree with user, unbreakable1. While jumping from 10% to 25% may seem like a considerable difference, 25% tca is still considered a light peel. The only reason you may want to go from 10% to 15% first is just so mentally you feel better about doing the 25% peel. Peels are a bit of a mental game, so this I can completely understand and empathize with. However, 25% peels, if done by an experienced peeler, carry very minimal risk. With a 25% peel, you should peel pretty lightly for 5-6 days and be completely fine by Christmas. You need to wait 4 weeks between each 25% peel. I am not one who advocates recklessness with peeling but 25% tca is often a starting point when patients are being peeled by someone experienced. Of course if you were doing these yourself, I would have to agree with unbreakable1 that it is good to start slow so you can gain some invaluable experience of how to perform a superficial tca peel before trainsitioning into a light peel.
19 minutes ago, UpliftingCat said:I respectfully disagree with user, unbreakable1. While jumping from 10% to 25% may seem like a considerable difference, 25% tca is still considered a light peel. The only reason you may want to go from 10% to 15% first is just so mentally you feel better about doing the 25% peel. Peels are a bit of a mental game, so this I can completely understand and empathize with. However, 25% peels, if done by an experienced peeler, carry very minimal risk. With a 25% peel, you should peel pretty lightly for 5-6 days and be completely fine by Christmas. You need to wait 4 weeks between each 25% peel. I am not one who advocates recklessness with peeling but 25% tca is often a starting point when patients are being peeled by someone experienced. Of course if you were doing these yourself, I would have to agree with unbreakable1 that it is good to start slow so you can gain some invaluable experience of how to perform a superficial tca peel before trainsitioning into a light peel.
thank you both for the reply
my doc will be performing the 25% peel, not me. If all goes well i will continue them on my own but for the first time it will be her.
do you think it would be ok to get a 25% peel done 13 days after a 10% peel? (The one i did lastnight)?
Thanks
7 minutes ago, 91baby said:thank you both for the reply
my doc will be performing the 25% peel, not me. If all goes well i will continue them on my own but for the first time it will be her.
do you think it would be ok to get a 25% peel done 13 days after a 10% peel? (The one i did lastnight)?
Thanks
Because both 10% and even 25% peels are not meant to be forced deeply into the dermis, you can do a 25% tca peel 14 days post. Id wait 4 weeks after your 25% tca peel to repeat one of the same depth or stronger. If you are going to go stronger than 25%, I recommend having it done professionally.
2 hours ago, 91baby said:I just wanted to update to say i diluted my 30% tca peel to 10% and applied 2 layers lastnight. I didnt want to go a higher % because, one, i need to wear makeup mid next week onwards so i can't afford to be peeling and two, because i just wanted to see what it was like and to prep my skin.
it felt the same as the 40% glycolic peels ive done in the past, so i know the 25% tca peel i want done is going to be a kicker haha.
im just keeping my face wet constantly now and not using anything on my skin. Hopefully the peel makes me feel a little 'fresher' by next weekend when i have an event.
i have an appt on the 14.12 to discuss the next steps with my doc. Im wondering if i should email her and just ask her to book me in for the peel instead, rather than have a consult and then have to wait until january? Would there be any harm in jumping from 10% to 25%? And is there any harm in performing a 25% peel on skin 14 days after a 10% peel? And if i go in for the peel on the 14th.. will i be ok by christmas to wear makeup again?
thanks in advance for any advice!
Umm, if you felt noticeable tingling with a 10% peel you're going to experience peeling for about a week. Expect it to start happening on day 2. Also, yes, there's plenty of harm in performing a 25% peel just two weeks after a dual layer 10% peel. I'm still experiencing redness around my cheekbones after doing a 15% peel just three weeks after a 10% peel. I didn't wait for the redness around my cheekbones to dissipate after the first peel so now I'll have to wait even longer before applying my next peel. Just try to pay attention to what your skin is telling you more than anything. There's a reason derms don't like doing more than one peel a month.
8 minutes ago, ailaeshiz said:2 hours ago, 91baby said:I just wanted to update to say i diluted my 30% tca peel to 10% and applied 2 layers lastnight. I didnt want to go a higher % because, one, i need to wear makeup mid next week onwards so i can't afford to be peeling and two, because i just wanted to see what it was like and to prep my skin.
it felt the same as the 40% glycolic peels ive done in the past, so i know the 25% tca peel i want done is going to be a kicker haha.
im just keeping my face wet constantly now and not using anything on my skin. Hopefully the peel makes me feel a little 'fresher' by next weekend when i have an event.
i have an appt on the 14.12 to discuss the next steps with my doc. Im wondering if i should email her and just ask her to book me in for the peel instead, rather than have a consult and then have to wait until january? Would there be any harm in jumping from 10% to 25%? And is there any harm in performing a 25% peel on skin 14 days after a 10% peel? And if i go in for the peel on the 14th.. will i be ok by christmas to wear makeup again?
thanks in advance for any advice!
Umm, if you felt noticeable tingling with a 10% peel you're going to experience peeling for about a week. Expect it to happen on day 2. Also, yes, there's plenty of harm in performing a 25% peel just two weeks after a dual layer 10% peel. If you absolutely cannot wait, try to push for three weeks, but four is definitely preferable.
There has actually been studies that have shown that repetitive peeling with 20% to 25% TCA every 2 to 3 weeks can induce slight papillary dermal change. For example, the neck cannot be peeled with a high concentration of tca because of the necks tendency to scar. However, performing repetitive 25% peels on the neck at 14 to 30 days after erythema has receeded has been studied to be safe and effective. While I always recommend airing on the side of caution, especially when just starting off doing peels, 10% or even 25% tca peels are just freshening peels.
@UpliftingCat Can you link me to these studies? 25% at two week intervals sounds absolutely asinine.
10 minutes ago, ailaeshiz said:@UpliftingCat Can you link me to these studies? 25% at two week intervals sounds absolutely asinine.
I think there are a lot of misconceptions on this site in regards to peels. For example, I see lots of people referring to a 25% peel or even a 30% peel as a medium depth or deep peel when this is not true. Even a 35% peel with multiple frosts is considered light. In regards to the 25% tca peel done at 2 week intervals, while this may seem asinine, one must accept the limitations in remodeling scar tissue, wrinkles or even textural concerns with a light peel. The idea of doing 25% tca spaced so close together is to get some dermal remodeling. And this dermal remodeling will not even be close to the remodeling of what you get with a true medium depth peel. I have a few books on peels that I have read from cover to cover several times but this particular information was sited in Chemical Peeling and Resurfacing written by Harold Brody. I must emphasize that the studies on neck resurfacing was done by an experienced doctor, and I would never advocate self-treating with 25% at two week intervals.
1 hour ago, UpliftingCat said:I respectfully disagree with user, unbreakable1. While jumping from 10% to 25% may seem like a considerable difference, 25% tca is still considered a light peel. The only reason you may want to go from 10% to 15% first is just so mentally you feel better about doing the 25% peel. Peels are a bit of a mental game, so this I can completely understand and empathize with. However, 25% peels, if done by an experienced peeler, carry very minimal risk. With a 25% peel, you should peel pretty lightly for 5-6 days and be completely fine by Christmas. You need to wait 4 weeks between each 25% peel. I am not one who advocates recklessness with peeling but 25% tca is often a starting point when patients are being peeled by someone experienced. Of course if you were doing these yourself, I would have to agree with unbreakable1 that it is good to start slow so you can gain some invaluable experience of how to perform a superficial tca peel before trainsitioning into a light peel.
Yes sorry I was talking as if she were doing them herself where the advice is to always work up in incriments.
2 minutes ago, unbreakable1 said:Yes sorry I was talking as if she were doing them herself.
Totally makes sense! If I were doing them myself, I would slowly work my way up too so I could get a handle on things. It took me an entire year to build up to do a true medium depth peel and that was under the care of an expert peeler.
Oh damn, i thought consistent 25% tca peels over time would yield some improvement. Are you saying i would need a deeper % to get me to where i want to be @UpliftingCat ?
ive seen some nice before & afters from people who used a series of just 25% tca, that's why i thought id use that percentage