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Day 113 - Wk 16 plus a day UPDATE!
Skin: about the same, scars seem to be healing nicely but I swear I'm getting whiter and whiter all the time 
I really would love a tan ... ugh just a few more months 
The "active" / spot on my cheek that has been just hanging had an unfortunate accident yesterday... ok so I thought it was just a little too comfortable and thought I could take care of it.... I'm an idiot. WHY CAN'T I JUST NOT PICK! gah! I don't even know the answer. Anyways the spot is empty and done but I managed to take off a thin layer of skin right on top of the spot. I got some pure Vit. E oil on it right away and let it sit so it hasn't scabbed over like it normally would but it's definately red.... so I solved nothing ... It is flat though so I covered it easily enough today with some concealer.
Has anyone else found it harder and harder to put on makeup in the morning?? I mean I'd never ever consider leaving my house without at least concealer and foundation but I hate it now! My face is by no means clear but it feels like it's getting there and I'm just so sick and tired of taking half an hour every morning to paint my face ! UGH That is very precious time I could be sleeping! I just hope my skin changes enough to be great without ANY makeup! fingers crossed!
As for other side effects - my lips are BRUTAL! this morning they were so dry that they were WHITE I mean grotesquely skin coming off white ... how about that visual lol
I didn't think I was really slacking with my Carmex and Aquaphor but I must be! I'm really going to have to pick it up so they can recover
Eczema - gone on my hands but it's still hanging out a bit on the bottom of my forearms. Luckily it's not itchy most of the time and is just scabby not red so I'm just moisturizing and hoping it will sor it self out.
My hands are COVERED in cuts through! My skin must be stupidly delicate bc my hands look like I stuck them in a blender and hit the Margaritta button .... (what ? you dont' have that button??) I don't even know what to do about it bc I'm inherintly clumsy ALL the time and there's no help that!
Otherwise I'm feeling good. I missed a couple days of glucosamine and my hip joints started to kill me! So I just have to make sure I stay consistent on everything ALL THE TIME! and it will all work out!
Pics aren't all that intersting... pretty much look the same as last week but you acn see the spot on my cheek that doesn't exist anymore on the right hand pic. stupid tiny spot The spot on my chin is also MUCH better today. The tip you see in the pic kind of fell of yesterday and it's just a red scar now. I'm using the Kinerase scar therapy twice a day and I really hope it works!
headtrip_honey ... ok I didn't listen and leave the bump alone... probably should have but stupid me and not having any self-control oh well. We were originally looking at England/Ireland and doing a castle tour along the coast there but the weather at the end of Oct beg of Nov was way to rainy and unpredictable! So that will have to be saved for another time ! I hope the eczema is better!
inuk - Thanks so much for checking up! makes me feel special 
lol I think I'm doing pretty ok and I hope you are too!
You look really good! And the actives that you do have seem much smaller.
I feel you about the delicate skin. I was cutting up an old credit card the other day, and my knuckle on my middle finger was KILLING me. When I was done, I realized the pressure from the scissor handles had actually rubbed off a patch of skin on my knuckle. I had/have a raw red spot about the size of a pencil eraser on my knuckle.
I also sympathize about picking, obviously. I always make my lips worse because I pickpickpickpick at the dry skin. It's a compulsion from having acne so long. If we just pick long enough, we can pick it all away! 
Day 114 - I'm never ... EVER painting a house again...
I think I have more paint on me right now then the walls got. At one point my fiance actually likened me to a "...painting Helen Keller" and then suggested gently that I go get cleaned up and "assist" him in other ways other than painting ...aka I ordered the pizza lol
Anyways so not skin related but it's been the last 6 hrs of my life.... ugh so tired!
Skin ... same -ish, I have an active under the edge of my jaw thats huge but hidden so it's not so terrible. The skinned spot on my cheek is a bright red patch and it looks like there may be another active coming to life just below it. This is what I get for touching my face... its like punishment or conditioning or something
Otherwise other than the same old eczema and pained lips all's the same just super tired
inuk - I actually didn't know what PIH was but I just read up on it! I've actually always been very very bad and gotten a lot of PIH. It's only very recently, I would say the last two weeks that mu scars have been fading a lot. I think its the new scar therapy I'm using from Kinerase. You have to use it twice a day but it seems to be making my scars disappear a lot faster than usual. I used to get PIH spots before the accutane that would last up to six months! It was always so upsetting to get a new active for the sheer reason that the evidence of that spot would stick with me for half a year! But thanks for the encouraging comments! I'm finally starting to feel good about all of this and it feels really wonderful to have the support from others too!
hopeful42day - hey! thanks so much for your compliment and encouragement! If our acne is similar that means you'll be clear shortly too! We can both be proud and celebrate our awesomely beautiful skin!
headtrip_honey - hey! thx I think the actives are getting smaller for the most part although every time I say that out loud I get a massively crazy iceberg of an active! ... so I'm just going to type it... not say it
ugh the nicks and cuts are so bad right now! and I even managed to slice my finger on my razor in the shower so now my hands covered in even more bandaids ... although now I'm covered in paint so I'm looking much better at the moment lol
I think picking is like a bag of two bite brownies.... yes they are a nice and teany snack and you think "oh just one teany brownie is not bad at all..." just like just scratching off a bit of dead skin is no biggie..... Then the whole bag of brownies is gone and your ass has grown two sizes ... lol oh and you've peeled your own skin off your face..... same thing lol
... I think I should avoid analogies after midnight.... lol that was just such an attractive comparison
Goodnight everyone and remember... painting houses sucks
Day 116
Skin update - the spot I thought was an active coming up under my "skinned spot" on my cheek... it was an active. It "popped" by morning and now I'm waiting for it's departure. The hurge active under my jaw just kind of peeled right off last night.... it's kind of cool... and I'm kind of gross for admitting it lol but at least now all that's left is a red spot.
Otherwise all's the same! including the infamous Day 2 of painting the house... I still stuck but at least it's almost done I may go to my wedding with paint still stuck all over me... but hopefully my skin will b pretty!
I hope everyone had a good weekend!
michellemac: I am so excited for u!! A new house, wedding and a new skin!! haha!
Im sure all the efforts for the the painting would be well-worthed!
Btw, im basically a klutz... i cant paint at all.... i remember there was once, i was helping my mum to paint our house.. everytime when thought i've finished painting one area, i will see my mum.. right behind me.. trying to clean up the mess i've done and re-paint what i've just painted....... hahahaha....
She got so frustrated that she chased me out of the room so that she can paint in "peace"!!!!! haha....
Day 119 - Wk 17 ... I really don't like the number 17 (random fact) ... but anywho...
Update!
Skin - Mostly very good. My scars are fading very nicely thanks to my awesome scar therapy stuff And there have been no actives since the one that started this weekend... that's a whole BIG story. But otherwise just some dry patches on my face. I keep getting little "scaly" patches on my cheeks jut like one piece of skin thats rough and dry. which I inevitably scratch off bc I'm an idiot (we've clearly established that at this point) and then I end up with a red scabby spot. MUST STOP TOUCHING GRRRR!
But the really interesting part of this week is the pimple I have kindly come to refer to as "Krakatoa" (you know the giant volcane that exploded and made a big noise )
This active is like the godzilla of actives. REALLY check out the pics! It's stupidly large and it's looked like that for three days straight now. NO CHANGE! I mean it's not popping or getting bigger or smaller... and here's the real phenomenon .... I HAVEN'T PICKED IT!!!
I'm not very happy about this not picking thing right now bc I'm walking around with a volcanic island on my face.... But at this point I'm almost curious about what this sucker is going to do! I'll probably give it until Saturday and then "take care of it" ... I know I know I shouldnt' pick but honestly I'm not going to go another full week at work with this thing on my face so I'll get rid of it saturday and that gives me Sunday to heal. Unless by some strange chance it decides to go away or fall off before that ... it could happen
Side effects - not too much. My lips still feel like death but I'm slowly getting better with keeping up with the aquaphor and they're improving. I have this split in the corner of my mouth on the krakatoe side of my face and it keeps drying out and getting really painful. So I really need to keep up with the aquoaphor! Other than that I'm just tired But painting a house for four days straight could probably cause that too
fel_han - I sympathize with your painting experience lol I'm pretty much in the same boat oh well he still made me help though so I blame any bad spots on him Thanks for your msg! Hope your doing well!
Pics:
Wow, you have way more self control than I do! (as we discussed in my log...::ahem:: )
If it were me, I would sanitize a needle, then just gently prick the top of Krakatoa, and ooze out its contents. That way you don't irritate it further, but you can reduce the pressure in it.
But other than that your skin is looking great!!
And watch out with painting...especially if you paint a ceiling. Cover your hair!! Paint that gets in your hair can last MONTHS.
Day 121 - Happy Easter Weekend!
Hello all!
So after all my good self control ... all I got was total lack of satisfaction! Thursday night I decided that the next morning I totally had to take care of this stupid active. I mean it was huge and hardening every day and I was really sick of it....I even made sure to sleep on my back that night bc I could feel the stupid thing on my cheek sticking out and didn't want it to hurt!
... the next morning I wake up and the stupid thing broke over night and my face is crusty and bloody!!! GAH!!! I mean it still broke, it still was swollen and red and I didn't even get the darn satisfation of getting rid of the bugger myself! ..... grrr!
So I slavered the stupid spot in vitamine E oil and it's healing nicely now. Although it was so swollen and red yesterday that my Aunt asked me if I wanted witchhazel to "get it under control" and my dad asked me what was up with my face.... not fun to have to explain.
oh well no other new actives(pounding on wood) to speak of at the moment and I hope it stays that way
My lips are still painfully dry and cracking but that's probably bc I'm not being obsessive with my carmex and aquaphor I'll pick it up eventually
headtrip_honey - self control is stupid lol I mean I know I shouldn't be mad but it was so frustrating after all that time it was JUST AS IF I PICKED! but with no satisfaction or sense of sucess afterwards... my pillow got all the glory lol I guess I shouldn't be upset about having some self control and I definately shouldnt' be cheering on picking.... lets just say it's an off day for me lol and as for the paint..... oh it definately ended up in my hair.. my mom was nice enough to point it out at work for me and then proceeded to pick it out lol ... tad embarassing hope your doing well and having a good weekend!
crazy09 - I totally wish I had picked and definately try the scar therapy its fantastic! although I just realized it's not available in Canada so I'll either have to order my next tube offline or make my tube last until May when I head to California again ... totally don't think that's possible stupid canadian sephor sucking I hope your doing well and thanks so much for the compliment!
Day 125.... DERM DAY (one day shy of 18 weeks, 4 months - ish)
.... I totally didn't realize it but I had an appointment with my derm this morning. I was actually pretty excited when my blackberry reminded me last night (thank god for crackberry calendars lol). It was really early so I got to get up and not put on makeup ... and I figured I'm progressing nicely so he wouldnt' change anything and I'd just sail on my way until the end of june... ya no
So I told him I had my engagement pics being done on June 18 and he starts counting back and decides he wants me to stop my accutane on MAY 20!!!!! That's over a month before I'm suppose to .... it's over a month before I hit my dose per my weight.... ENTER PANIC.
The plan is stop tane May 20. Do a light laser treatment May 31st to take care of lingering red spots. Then he wants to see me June 8th and if I have any deep scaring he's going to use fillers to fill them slightly so I'm smooth....... this is the official plan....... the official reaction = TERROR
I'm soooooo freaked out right now. I mean I knew I would probably be scared when I stopped the tane in June but now a month early???? What if it wasn't enough? What if my acne lies dormant until Oct then comes back with a vengance right befor ethe wedding???? ... there is no emoticon for bawling my freaking eyes out.....
So now I don't know what to do, I'm toying with the idea of throwing in an extra couple pills each week to just get my total a little higher before I stop the tane... but I mean I should just trust my doctor right??? He claims any actives I'm getting now are because of the accutane and as soon as I'm off they'll stop along with all the side effects... I just can't stand the thought that I'm not done yet!!! I don't want a second course KNOCK ON BLOODY WOOD 
I just don't know what to do
Thoughts??????
Uh, I would very firmly demand to continue as previously planned. Or at least ask for a dosage increase.
Or ask to extend it just two weeks more, which would at least allow you to reach your cumulative dose.
That would really piss me off, honestly. Just say to him that while you're willing to have a photographer touch up any pictures of you in your engagement pics, you're not willing to risk a recurrence of acne ON YOUR WEDDING.
Ok I did some math to see what I'm looking at here...
Based on my whole course, as of May 20th I'll be at a cumulative dose of 5,740 mg . My derm was oringinally calculating my dose based on my weighing 60 kg.... I actually weigh 52 kg and he was over estimating.
So based on 60kg I should have between 6000 - 7200 mg total. BUT based on my actual weight at the moment of 52 kg I should be between 5200 - 6240 mg. So as of May 20th I'll be within that range but shy of the top end of about 500mg ... or 13 - 40 mg pills.
So... am I over reacting? was he just overestimating my dose from the very beginning and now he's fine tuning it bc of my progress and my weight loss???
Also... 13 extra pills thrown in over the next six weeks could techically be added in.... yes my doctor didn't say to do this and I should follow his direction.....
.... but.... I do have enough script left and will have 12 extras at the end of my course..... I could take one extra every three-four days and hit my max culative dose for May 20th.
... It seems logical to me but I'm paniced at the moment
Ok I did some math to see what I'm looking at here...Based on my whole course, as of May 20th I'll be at a cumulative dose of 5,740 mg . My derm was oringinally calculating my dose based on my weighing 60 kg.... I actually weigh 52 kg and he was over estimating.
So based on 60kg I should have between 6000 - 7200 mg total. BUT based on my actual weight at the moment of 52 kg I should be between 5200 - 6240 mg. So as of May 20th I'll be within that range but shy of the top end of about 500mg ... or 13 - 40 mg pills.
So... am I over reacting? was he just overestimating my dose from the very beginning and now he's fine tuning it bc of my progress and my weight loss???
Also... 13 extra pills thrown in over the next six weeks could techically be added in.... yes my doctor didn't say to do this and I should follow his direction.....
.... but.... I do have enough script left and will have 12 extras at the end of my course..... I could take one extra every three-four days and hit my max culative dose for May 20th.
... It seems logical to me but I'm paniced at the moment
I'd probably add in the extra pills. Remember, his ORIGINAL plan was for you to go an additional month. So it's not like he thought it was unsafe.
I agree. I don't think a dozen extra pills will be a big deal really. Especially if I space them out alot over the next six weeks...
still can't believe I'm almost done though!
omg I just hope it works 
I'll update tomorrow with pics But no new actives to speak of at the moment ... fingers crossed! although with the stress of today I bet I'm in for one hell of an active tomorrow
Laser treatment that soon seems really risky. I'm finishing up soon and my derm told me to wait 3months before seeing what to do about scars and such, as if you do stuff to early it'll just end up doing my harm. Most threads i've seen, and just information about accutane say to wait 6-12months.
Hey
My derm actually suggested it and will be doing it himself. He said it would be a very very light level of lasering and he's done it before.
I've read the same thing and I was concerned but he assured me that he's done this before and he knows the proper turn around time.
So I'm going to trust him.... mostly lol And I'm hopign I don't have a lot of scaring anyways and may even be able to skip the laser if I'm looking ok
But thank you for your msg!!!
Day 126 (18 Weeks) - A Calmer Day
Hey Everyone,
So I'm a little more calm today then I was yesterday. I mean I'm still a little scared about my shorter course but I'm trying not to stress about it.
So Skin Updates!
I did indeed get a new active this morning. I think it was being stressed and also touching my china lot yesterday. I had a lot of Ugh I can't hold my head up - moments and so I rested my chin on my hands alot and boom active this morning. It's teany though and it broke while I was washing my face this morning after I took my pics so it's alredy goena nd starting to heal!
Otherwise my skin is pretty good. There is still a big blotch on my cheek ( you can see it in the right hand pic) from the actives I squeezed on sunday/monday ish. It looks like it's going to be an icky scar not just a red splotch. But the red spot from the active I didn't touch all last week is disapearing fast! I guess it was good not to tough the bugger
Otherwise my lips are still suffering and I have some dry skin on my arms but that's about it.
I've pretty much decided to work my extra 12 pills into the next six weeks just so I feel comfortable with my term. I think it will all be ok I'm probably just panicing for no reason. It's just hard to look at how far I've come and accept that this is it.... I mean I feel like I still have a ways to go. Hopefully I get there in six weeks
Take care everyone!
Pics:
Congratulations! Thank you so much!
It's been a really long road so far. It's nice getting to the point where I can even hear a compliment and not look over my shoulder to see who it's for and my fingers are crossed for the wedding one way or another, even if it takes air brushing my face on, I will look awesome on my wedding i would just rather the beautiful skin option.
Take care!
Dear michellemac: I'm truly so so so happy for u! Seeing how much your skin had improved, it really gave me the motivation to continue my accutane journey..
Its really amazing, to see such a transformation =)
And oh, regarding the lasering thing... My derm actually suggested me to go for a laser while on accutane. Reason-being, if u are accutane, it is less likely that u would suffer from any post-treatment breakouts. I think it seems logical to me as i have people telling me that they get breakouts after a facial treatment /a laser.
But of course, i still have my doubts since most post-tane users were told to wait for another few more months before doing any laser treatments n such.
Like u, i brought up the matter to my derm and she assured me that she would be doing the laser by using the lowest frequency that my skin can tolerate.
I might get my laser done on the 4th month if my zits subsides...
I hope all will go well for u. Do post your after laser pics here if u are going for ther lasering and keep us posted ok?
Day 130
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
Skin update: doing pretty well. The teany tiny active that broke last week when I washed my face pretty much disappeared after that and I haven't had any issues since. I had a big ass pimple on my back that popped up but I don't really count it if it's not on my face So my face is still clear-ish.
I say "ish" because I have a new little issue. My derm called it slight "dermatitis" and it's essentially little tiny dry patches on my face. No like oh accutane makes my skin dry-kind of patches. It's literally like one tiny scale of dry skin on my cheek or by my nose etc. And I can feel it and often just pick it off which of course leads to a strip of skin ripping off and me having a new big ass red spot that has nothing to dow ith acne AT ALL!
So I've been dealing with this since thursday. I know I shouldn't touch the stupid spots.... and I know I should use the mild cortisone cream that my derm gave me instead... but it's so freaking hard! ITS NOT ACNE! HOW CAN I BE EXPECTED NOT TO TOUCH WHEN ITS NOT ACNE!!! this is not fair, but I'm working on having some of that self-control that I'm always hearing about. I swear I must have used all of mine up two weeks ago when I had the big ass volcane active. Now I'm running on empty
Oh well I'm sure this too shall pass All other side effects are holding steady: lips still = death, skin still dry, joints still sore so all in all pretty good!
fel_han - thanks so much for your compliment! I really really trust my dermatologist and so I think the laser treatments will be ok. I've had them in the past and even with strong treatments I've always been able to go back to work within an hour without anyone being able to see a difference so I'm sure a super weak treatment will be ok. I will of course put of pics and let you all see every step of this little journey of mine I hope your feeling better about your course!
Take care!
Day 131
Ugh really bad peeling day. My skin is literally flaking right off! It looks like there are tons of little white specks on my face but it's just my skin !!!
I also got a really tiny active last night, it wasn't so much a pimple as clogged pore that I had no patience for. So I squeezed it and now it's a teany tiny red dot on it's way to recovery
Otherwise ... I've come to the decision that most wedding stuff sucks.... I had to register yesterday and it was fun at the time until you realize later that the store your working with is LYING and CHEATING and preparing to make your life difficult in the future... now I'm less then happy, I have ot REDO my entire registry which I thought I had ticked off my list of things to do AND my face is pretty much falling off onto my desk...
... hmm must be Tuesday