My skin has been peeling and flaking, too! That's crazy about your registry. Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to do things multiple times. Hope you get it all figured out!

Oh geez, how frustrating! Where did you register if you don't mind me asking? I hope they're able to get it right the second time, at least.

Hey!

We registered at The bay. I've figured out a few things on my own since then so the second shot should be the last... who knew you had to research how to register for silly wedding gifts lol you would think it would be easy not a process of elimination and discovery

Day 132

Skin - not sucking too badly, still getting stupid scaley spots and aquaphor isn't helping... I've tried the cortisone cream for one night so far and no results there as well.... I guess it may just be something I have to deal with and hopefully not keep picking off my face in the process I did get a new teany tiny bump that is actually just a clogged pore on the side of my face.... I don't really know if I can do anything to stop these... but I really have no qualms about squeezing them empty before they get larger seems to be working ok so far

on a weird side note... my face has been itchy lately! I mean like super must scratch not rub, kind of itchy! Especially when I got to bed.... This doesn't go well with my new "no touching my face ever" policy.... urg, I did switch my moisturizer to something my derm gave me though but i've been using it for a week and only the last couple days have I had this silly issue.... meh probably just my body making up for lack of torturing side effects Could be worse so I'll just not scratch and deal with it.....

I guess it could be dry skin too though.... hmmmm thoughts?

Hope everyone's having a great morning! I'll have pic updates tomorrow as per usual ... can't believe it's been 19 weeks already!!!! only 5 LEFT!!!! omg scary / exciting / terrifying

on a side note...

Did you know we had these... lol

Oh man, itchiness sucks!

When my face gets itchy, I scratch it by running my fingernails BACKWARDS over the skin. Like, the opposite of the scratching motion. Back-handed scratching? I dunno how to explain it better.

It's possible it's the new stuff you're using...or it's possible it's just in your head!

Day 133 - 19 Weeks

Skin Update: Still no actives. Yay not celebrating yet but I am hopefull that this may be the end at least the end of big ass actives the teany tiny clogged pore ones I can handle

The dry skin is still driving me crazy. I put up a shot of the spots I'm getting. It's almost like a scaley eczema scab but on my face... this scares the crap out of me! I've had reoccuring nightmares about the eczema spreading to my face in full force. I'm going to email me derm and see what he has to say about the cortisone cream not working

As for the itchy face....omg it's driving me crazy! Now it's happening during the day at work and I can't touch my face when I'm all painted up for work grrr I feel like it's just the dryness doing it to me though, my skin feels very tight and like it's going to crack around my mouth today. I haven't gone to check it out in the mirror yet this morning... I'm a little afraid that my skin is all cracked and coming off

On a side night... I tried Hot yoga last night... now I've never done any yoga so it was already challenging ... but if you don't know, hot yoga is done in a room heated to 98 degrees. OMG it was hot. It felt fantastic for the first 20 minutes but then the sweat starts pouring off of you ... which still doesnt' suck but along with the hard workout (which it was for me, apparently I'm weak ) I was exhausted! And on top of everything I think the heat really pissed off my eczema because it's back with a vengance this morning

It's spread from the underside of my forearms to the tops of my biceps and there are random patches on the backs of my hands too that are itchy like a bunch of bug bites! ....but at least I don't have a pimple right lol

So that's all, Life is just being life otherwise

headtrip_honey - I'll have to try the backscrating motion lol anything at this point would feel awesome and I'm about one itch away from ranking a towel over my face ... I'm thinking that maybe my taking those two extra pills a week might be making me feel a tad dryer... and maybe as a result itchy? grrrr only 5 more weeks to go! I can handle itch for that long

I'll just up my water intake and avoid hot spaces for the time being

Take care everyone!

Pics: (the far right is one of the scaley spots I've been getting and picking off and getting scars from... trying hard not to touch!)

Ooo i know the itchy feeling, is not fun! but your skin looks good and you are really pretty.

Day 134

Today is just the worst day I've had in a long time.

Skin - crappy, I'm cracking and peeling all around my mouth and down my chin. No amount of cream/moisturizer or any other crap I put on my face will work.

Oh and has anyone noticed that when you don't have actives, but you have deep red/purple scars it's pretty much impossible to cover them. I mean my face is smooth so I look freaking ridiculous in foundation... but I can't spot coneal the buggers bc 1. concealer doesn't have anything to stick too bc the scars are under the surface ... or 2. the skin peels right the hell of an hour later anyways

So I'm clear but my face looks like shit.... how about that ....

urg sorry just having a terrible day...

I had a massive blowout fight with my boss this afternoon... which is always fun considering my boss is my dad... so at this time based on how I'm feeling he is uninvited from the wedding and I'm strongly considering quiting my job and walking out that door immediately....

Or I'll just sit here, accu-blog and try not to cry ... that works too

... it's cruel to ban us accutane users from liquor... I mean how anyone gets through six damn months without some occasional " fuzziness" is beyond me...

sorry for the rant! I'm sure shit will look up tomorrow

take care!

Hey!

I've been stalking your log for a long time, but have never actually posted anything. Your progress looks really great, and I'm so glad the accutane is working for you.

I'm sorry you're having a bad day, and that you're not feeling great about your face right now. Just remember, the scars will be gone really soon, and then you really won't need makeup at all! And as soon as you're done with accutane, the dryness will stop, AND you'll have no acne! I can't wait til that point.. actually just the point where I stop breaking out, if that ever happens, it would be a miracle, since my face hasn't been completely clear for years.

ANyway, good luck with the wedding shenanigans, and congrats on your skin improving! I hope you feel better soon.

Day 137

Hello Everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend.

I'm feeling a lot better than I was on Friday... I was really upset but after A LOT of venting to my fiance and my mom I feel a bit better about everything and I may even re-invite my dad to the wedding .... maybe

Skin - still peeling like crazy. I'm just accepted at this point that I can't fight it and that there is no makeup to make it look better... so whatever! I have a good excuse it's not like I look like shit and I'm not trying to stop it.... I blame it all on the tane and I'm not afraid to say it

Still no actives but I'm worried. There is a patch just under the left corner of my mouth where I can feel 10-20 "bumps" under the surface of the skin. It feels like all the pores there are clogged. And I'm really worried they're going to errupt or something. My chin and that area around my mouth are the most dry so it could jsut be that I need to exfoliate a bit more so I can clear out those pores I tried using a soft warm damp cloth last night to just rub a bit of the dry skin off my face and it helped so I'll have to give it a try again tonight. I just don't want to get to risky and irritate my skin into a breakout. That would suck at this point.

I'm coming up to over a week without an active (knocking on wood still) and the last gap with no actives was about 6 days so if I can get to like 10 days that's improvement! I'll take it ! But I also would take no more actives .... EVER lol I wouldnt' mind that

Anywho, other than that the eczema is back under control BUT I ended up coming down with an eye infection this weekend I think it's bc my eyes have been so dry and itchy I've been touching them more and apparently it's going around my home town ... ugh so gross But the antibiotics are working and I'm not all gross and gucky so yay

On a TOTALLY AWESOME SIDE NOTE....

I GOT MY SHOES FOR MY WEDDING DAY ... I know I know I'm such a girl but they are sOOOOOOO pretty

check it out!

missmooshoo007 - Thank you so much for your msg It makes me feel special that you stalk my log I know you'll be clear soon! I had a lot of skeptical moments but I mean if it can work for me then it will work for anyone bc I honestly am always one of those teany tiny percentages that end up the exception Good luck with your course!

I love your shoes! And, Yay for no actives!

Day 139 - Excuse my crying

I'm an idiot... I know thats not new but like the stupidest person on the face of the planet is more like it at this point. I just don't understand what my problem is...

I get out of the shower on Monday night and I notice this big honking dark as all hell blackhead on my cheek. I mean this thing is like the empire state building on steroids ... on my face....

No it's flat and smooth and doesn't feel like anything is going to come of it, so no actives visible in the near future.... you would think that would have been enough to stop me from making the biggest mistake I've made in a month...

I squeezed it... I squeezed my clear, no active, no peeling dry skin (at the moment), red spots disapearing... maybe I'll go without makeup tomorrow ..... face.

Skin update... ugh excuse me while I gag it's so gross... there is no good bawling my freaking eyes out emoticon stupid sad face not good enough...

As I peeled I lost a chunk of skin about the size of a quarter arround... overtop of the stupid blackhead. It's red and I've only stopped it from scabbing by using my vitamin E oil every night since. It's soooooo bad! I'm also looking like my whole cheek bone is bruised. Like black and bright red kind of bruised. ugh ...

then bc of my touching and meddling my face through in three new actives. THREE!!!!

Now that shouldn't be alot in comparison to what I use to get but I mean I was doing so well... again excuse me while my stupid self cries. The little "field" of bumps by my chin came to a surface there are now two little actives there with a definate potential for more. Then there's on on the opposite cheek (where I still have skin) right in the middle that came out of nowhere. I think it's punishment for my crimes.

on top of that my work life is still in nose dive position. I'm really having a hard tim right now just getting up and quiting. I feel like just sitting at my desk crying and screaming at the top of my lungs... most of the things I want to scream are profanities and insults at my boss ...aka:dad. He is once again uninvited from the wedding that makes me feel better... a little.... ugh

I need a drink..... a big one

Pics of the disaster this morning, (two days later) ... showing you forces me to face my shame in all of it's glory ...

Im sorry you feel like that, im sure your face will go back to normal soon. Where do you work?

Don't worry, it's not as bad as you think. You'll be back to clear in no time!

Oh, honey.

Sorry I haven't been around much lately. Work has been holding me down and forcefully violating me.

There's not much that I can say but ::hugs::

Things will get better.

Day 140 - 20 Weeks... holy crap

hey everyone,

slightly less distraught today. Thank you everyone for all of your support it really helped me feel better.

Things are looking up a bit today ... I think. Skin as of this morning was looking better. The active on the side of my cheek is healing, and so is one of the one's on my chin. The other one on my chin is going to be a big guy. I can still feel it coming to the surface so I think it will need a week to come out and then go away.

The skinless spot looked pretty good this morning. It felt dry kind of like parchment paper compared to the rest of my skin but I put some extra cream on it before I put my makeup on and it seemed to work nicely....

After an extremely stressful afternoon of finding my mother in law a dress for my wedding... and a two hour lunch with her afterwards (which just made my dad yell at me more... bc that hasn't happened enough lately) .... I looked in the mirro and saw what is the third pic below...

The skinless spot is peeling off.... AGAIN which is neat considering the spot was skinned to begin with...

whatever... I am so down right now about so much that that spot almost seems fitting. I know things will feel better soon. There's good stuff coming up and I really believe I've learned my lesson with the picking... probably since I've never felt quite this bad before. So I'll just assume this is a rough patch and things will smooth out shortly.

I'm sorry I've been so sucky lately. On the plus size... I think I got brownie points with my mother in law for finding her an awesome dress for the wedding yay !

headtrip_honey - thanks for the hugs! I understand the work violation no worries

blueasyou - thanks for your msg you made me feel a lot better. Unfortunately this whole working with dad thing is suppose to be my career... like forever, and I love the job I just don't like the way we work together oh well i'll figure it out...

HereComesTheSun:) - Thanks I hope so!

hateAcne! - Thank you

Pics:

I have a very strong feeling that its all healing from here on.

It feels like it will never be over but it so will.

You are so there.

I am very excited for you!

hey there... i feel your pain. i did the EXACT same thing 2 days ago and i'm paying for it now. i seriously felt like i wrote your post. i was so upset with myself and kept thinking that i was so stupid. why couldn't i just let it be?! my awesome crusty mark is not even close to healing AND i have another active on my chin now. all this, after being totally clear - awesome. good luck. we can do this!

Day 141 ...

Hey everyone,

Skin is doing better today. I'm still peeling on my cheek but it's more rough arround the edges now then anything else. The active on my chin is still growing but hopfully it will be done by the end fo the weekend.

I actually didn't even wear makeup beyond a little concealer today to work. I was just sick and tired of it this morning and couldnt' bring myself to break out the foundation and powder and all the other bull shit it takes to feel comfortable in my own skin ...

And I think I got a compliment on it... one of my co-workers asked what was different about my face... when I said I wasnt' wearing makeup she said "oh it's nice your glowing" ... so either I look like shit and she revised her statement when she realised why or I am in fact not half bad looking without my war paints

inuk - Thanks for your msg, I'm excited to be done too and I think your right about the healing. I'm on my way but it's a slow process

Soul Sister - Thank you so much! I'm sorry your going through the same thing right now. I can't believe how difficult it is sometimes to stop yourself from doing such a simple thing like picking. I mean I'm a grown freaking woman why can't I keep my hands off my face?? But I mean I think I've learned my lessen and if I haven't well then maybe the next one will do the trick I'll just keep on hoping my self-control holds out

Take care everyone! and have a good weekend!

Hehe, war paint. I love that. That's exactly what my makeup is! I'm not that brave yet to go without my makeup. I see far too many people throughout the day to not put makeup on, plus my scars make me feel uncomfortable. I know, you can see them even when I'm wearing my makeup, but it makes me feel better. LOL.

I hope your spot heals fast! I'm trying not to mess with mine for fear that I will make it 10 times worse.

Dear michellemac: Hope u are feeling much better today.

Chin up pretty! It will all be over very soon! *hugs*

Day 144

Thanks a lot guys! I'm feeling better this week... I had a bit of a meltdown on Friday while driving with my fiance to his parents place. But he was amazing and offered to help with everything that's stressing me out so I can focus on me and feeling better

Skin wise - not to bad, I got a new active on Saturday. Big pussy gross one too but it was under my jawbone so you couldnt' really see it and it broke last night so it's on it's way to healing or pealing ... not sure which yet but probably a bit of both.

I hope everyone else is doing great!

Happy wedding day countdown. Sorry I hardly read much, saw the title and wanted to wish you well. Stressing about my skin makes it worse, Not caring(pretending not to care) + spending a lot less time checking my skin in the mirror helps so much. Laughing , smiling when I'm myself even if I have a little acne is better than any product or prescription medicine for my skin for me.lol please feel free to ignore me. Keep smiling.

opps I'm so dopey I just realized your taking accu'. Sorry for sounding racist towards acne meds. Good luck!

RQ77 - Thanks for your msg! it made me laugh which will hopefully make my skin better lol It's nice to see such optimism and I'm trying to model myself after great examples like you even if I am an tane user

Take care!

Day 147 Week 21! wow thats a long time!

It's kind of felt like it just skipped by right now... until I think back to the month long IB, the cysts, the volcane pimple, and of course my face peeling off lol

I'll skip right to it Skin- well... it's not great. I don't even know how to describe it. The peeling mess from last week is healing and not really peeling anymore. The two actives on my chin are also healing and the one under my chin is just starting to heal now.

I do have one new active as of last night (of course also right before I take my pics) that popped up last night on my drive home from work. OMG the sucker hurts! It must be on a nerve or something bc that little guy was brining tears to my eyes! I didn't have to move or touch it, and I still felt the throbbing pain. So I sterilized a needle and broke the white head before I went to bed. I squeezed and the guk was mostly solid so it's all out and it felt awesome to relieve the pressure on whatever it was squishing so I have no regrets what so ever for breaking the bugger

Otherwise my skin is confusing me. It's super super smooth, but dry so I put makeup on and it won't stay in place and it ends up just finding its way into the cracks and flakes in my skin... so I look retarded by half way through the day ...I know I should just give up on the makeup but I feel like the scars are even worse then the pimples. The pimples are pimples self explanatory but when you walk into a room and your covered in red spots... well ppl wonder what the hell is wrong with your face.

Side effects - oh boy, this is a fun topic for me this week. Well the usual shit, my lips are still super dry and won't stop splitting in the corner no matter how much aquaphor I use. My eczema has spread and now covers my arms from wrist to shoulder OH and there is a fun change there... it's itchy! YES after 21 weeks of eczema, NOW it decides it's going to itch and torture me isn't that just great! My eyes are REALLY dry for probably the first time in my course. I actually considered buying eye drops this morning but I left it alone. Although everyone at my office things my red eyes is due to crying or something... they aren't too far off....

So a new side effect.... it's not entirely new but I really didn't want to write about it before because I was really afraid of what ppl would say... I felt it once or twice before last week then last week it hit hard and didn't let up for about five days.... I'm very very ... down. I'm not going to say it right but thats the gist. I am in a constant negative, sad, un-motivated moood. It let up this weekend a bit and it's back this week. I know its happening so I can kind of do stuff to distract myself and I finally told my fiance so he's helping too...

I just can't shake it I only have three weeks left so I'm not worried too much about it. But it's not something I've read about anywhere. For all I know it's just bc I've had a shitty couple of weeks. Wedding stuff is stressing me out, my job is stressing me out, my condo won't sell and that means I won't have our full downpayment for our new house in june, my fiance is leaving in three weeks for what can only be described as a three week long aussie-bachellor party (so not happy about it), I need to find a new car bc mine is pretty much had it (and I have no time for that), I have to launch a freaking boat tomorrow, oh and I still don't know what my wedding dress looks like and it's giving me nightmares, and to top it all off, my face looks disgusting most days... fml ... so the tane may not be entirely to blame

MUST BE MORE POSITVE... either that or master the art of denial lol ugh at least I can still laugh at myself

hope everyone is doing well...

Pics:

I'm sorry things aren't going well right now.

I think it's likely all the outside stress, not the Accutane.

But you really are looking great! I think if I were you I would just go without makeup.