It all started 2 years ago.

I had my first pimple at the end of 6th grade.

It was no big deal to me, for god sake i even played with it and was showing it off (really... I want to kill that me)

I was really REALLY confident during my early middle school life, and for ME of all people to have acne would be devastating

and now fast forward to the present

I am in the 8th grade right now. My grades are average and I really think if the 5 hours I spend looking in the mirror and checking this forums out everyday would be used on studying, I would be at the top of my class like I used to be.

As you can see, acne is really affecting grades. I used to have grades like 96-98, and now my average is a mere 88

Acne is also affecting my social life in school. I was very confident and outgoing during my elementary school and 6th and early 7th grade years, now i am getting more and more consious of my looks and this is driving me crazy.

My first two pimple appeared in my chin

My acne used to be a few Big pimples that would come to a head and fill with puss, dry out and be gone... Yippe

Gradually, the pimples on the chin rose up and now it covers my entire cheek, by entire cheek, I mean ENTIRE firggen cheek..

And as the pimple on the cheek got more severe, I went to the derm for the first time of my life

He prescribed this mild desonide thing because my acne was VERY red and inflamed and it was across my entire cheek

The first few weeks of using it was like magic, FINALLY after a year of acne I have my clear skin back!

...or not

Red marks... RED MARKS EVERYWHERE

I hate red marks.. for gods sake I still have them all over my cheek...

So I went back to the derm with my wonderful parents that took time out of their busy scedule to help me with this

The derm said that it was just red marks and since my skin is very sensitive, dry AND oily, it would be best if I were to let it go away naturally. Meanwhile, he prescribed my this antibiotic so that I can keep my acne at bay while my red marks healed.

all right I said, sounds great.

But I was wrong, My acne for no friggen reason came back, but this time mild.

So now its the end of 7th grade and its summer vacation!

The time to get rid of all your acne and come back as a clear skinned smart athletic senior right..? right..? WRONG

so summer comes, finding out that the medications are not working I stoped using it completely and have decided to adjust my way of life.

This may just be the greatest change I will ever go through in my entire life by far

I have done all of these things without fail throughout the summer

1. drink 6 bottles of my poland spring water = 3L every day

2. change pillow case everyday, I washed it myself!

3. Havent touched a chip or drank soda since the 7th grade "end of the year" party lmfao

4. I eat only vegetable and a little bit of meat and fish and I now absolutely LOVE brocolli omg tastes great

5. stopped drinking milk all together. I was considered really tall when I was in 6th grade but now everyone is equal to or taller than me. I havent ate any dairy since forever. Im afraid I might stop growing because of this....

6. washes face 2 times a day

7. takes COLD COLD shower every day at night

8. I started to do light excersises everyday, now im quite fit

9. get a little bit of sun each day, (I have seach far and wide across the web but I STILL DONT KNOW IF SUN IS GOOD FOR YOU OR NOT!) so i just decided to get 10 minutes each day

10. meditate, yeah lol im 13 i do it half an hour every morning

11. I wake up 6 am evry day and get to sleep 9 pm everyday

and now this is all part of my life, I have done it for half a year now and it like natural for me to drink all this water and going to sleep this early now.

and despite all this effort, i failed

the acne is now not some big puss filled ones that would go away in a week

its now small inflamed pimples that pack together and span across half my face

(more on the side of my face)

and during the summer, has reached my forehead

so i completely gave up and lost hope, all faith

i sometimes would spend the later days of the summer just sitting around listening to sad songs and crying from morning to night

and i developed a fear for "baad food"

i wouldnt eat anything that i have heard would cause acne and i cannot bear the simple sight of it

sometimes i dont even know WHAT to eat and i no longer eat breakfast

(since my parents are always out, im usually eating takeout food for lunch but i take only the plain ones that or steamed or so)

and now lets go to the first day of 8th grade

I wake up at 5, extra early to prepare for the important day

Look at myself in the mirror, and devastaed i was

...

I ditched the first 2 weeks of school without my parents knowing

Now, they have found out and I was spared because they took it upon themselves that they are never there for me at times i need them the most

but i blame myself for losing to acne

i blame myself for puting myslelf through all this misery

all the lifestyle changes, all the prescriptions

none if it worked in the end and i am typing this at a saturday because tomorrow i am once again going to the derm

I hope this time, he will give me effective treatment

this 2 year war would be measly compared to those 30+ so years some of you have faced

but i believe i am still to young to go through all this

I FEEL AS IF I AM 18 RIGHT NOW

just a few years ago, i was a innocent child with good grades and knew nothing about the world

but now i have matured, turned cynical, and feel completely out of it

JUST 2 YEARS CAN CHANGE A PERSON ALOT

and all i want to say is that i will continue to fight. and hope you all will too.

thank you acne.org for helping me all this time, you are all like my parents