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BA,
Sorry for the late reply, I was away for a few weeks. Glad to hear you are somewhat satisfied with your progress.
I on the other hand am sure my demarcation will not blend. Not only do I have visible demarc lines along the hair line and jaw lines, my right jaw is truncated (meaning Yarborough stopped about 1cm before my actual jaw line).
It is 37 Celsius here, the heat makes my dermabraded skin beet red. I will continue to lead a productive life but a part of me will always feel miserable because of what this man did to me.
Sounds like you have rosacea background and do not want the redness. Dermabrasion will very likely make your redness worse and permanent.
Yarborough told me no one ever get stuck with redness and he dermabraded lots of asians with no serious pigmentary problem. He said absolutely nothing to warn or prepare me or others for the redness and pigmentary damage I suffer today. Check the links under my sig for Kipster, Hopeful and dolmal's stories.
So, do your research (not just hear, but on the internet too), don't blindly put your destiny in some stranger's hands.
BA,
Sorry for the late reply, I was away for a few weeks. Glad to hear you are somewhat satisfied with your progress.
I on the other hand am sure my demarcation will blend. Not only do I have visible demarc lines along the hair line and jaw lines, my right jaw is truncated (meaning Yarborough stopped about 1cm before my actual jaw line).
It is 37 Celsius here, the heat makes my dermabraded skin beet red. I will continue to lead a productive life but a part of me will always feel miserable because of what this man did to me.
no worries mate 
If it was a vacation, then hope it was a nice one. It's pretty steaming here on the east coast too. The weather turned hot over memorial day weekend and stayed hot ever since. I try to wear ridiculously large hats outside, but I realize that's less of an option for men. I read Y's reply letter to Dolmal. It was pretty....wack. That's the only word I can find to describe it. have you considered looking for skin specialists in Asia (especially places like Hong Kong, Korea and Japan) regarding the demarcation line?
As for my progress, I really don't know any more. It still looks like crap but it probably (i say probably b/c it's almost a year ago) looked much worse before. I'm not even sure I care anymore. If I can't find love and happiness because of big scarred pores then my life is sad to begin with.
On the pigment side - I'm avoiding the sun as MUCH as I can. I don't have faith in sunscreens anymore. that stuff just burns me up and give me the false illusion of protection.
Now that the redness is not so intense, I can see my myriad other scars and huge pores. But as I say often to myself, and try hard to believe, I'll be happy with my current scars IF only they don't get worse. But that's such a big if. Sometimes, I think it would be better if I just stopped obsessing over my skin. But then I remember not giving a hoot about my skin is how I got it messed up and scarred. So I'm caught between a rock and a hard place so to speak.
BA,
Sorry for the late reply, I was away for a few weeks. Glad to hear you are somewhat satisfied with your progress.
I on the other hand am sure my demarcation will blend. Not only do I have visible demarc lines along the hair line and jaw lines, my right jaw is truncated (meaning Yarborough stopped about 1cm before my actual jaw line).
It is 37 Celsius here, the heat makes my dermabraded skin beet red. I will continue to lead a productive life but a part of me will always feel miserable because of what this man did to me.
wow... I just been reading your whole log from beginning (have not finished yet). I know you been through alot and actually reading through this WHOLE log tells much just how much.
ps: You're a really good writer, unexpectedly quirkily humorous even in the darkest times. The mac girl offering you a free lipstick was pure gold 
. It made me laugh out loud, and I do apologize if you didn't intend it to be funny 
Is your occupation writing oriented or at least creative arts oriented?
Butterflies,
I swear when I talked to him months after dermabrasion he said he dermabraded lots of asians and no one ever have any problem, and I was the first one to suffer such noticeable problem. When questioned, he explicitly denied knowing higher risk of pigmentary change for type IV skin. He maintained no one before me were stuck with permanent redness.
From reading other threads, sounds like he is starting to advise people about risk regarding skin type. He has practised dermabrasion for decades, unless he is an idiot, he must understand the risks for darker skin people before the 4 of us. I believe he realized he can't just sweep his victims under the carpet like before internet, therefore he changes his act to cover his ass from more complaints.
On the bright side, if Yarborough keeps this up, less people will get hurt. But it is too late for us who suffered extreme color change because of his negligence / greed.
I have taken my share of punishment, I really he think deserves his too. I thought about Louisiana Board of Health but a wealthy and well known "doctor" like him probrably has lots of local support. I will look into AMA.
Thanks.
sword, have you considered legal action?or a complaint with the AMA and/or Louisiana Board of Health? the 4 of you should maybe look into that; it would make you feel less victimized & more in control, even if nothing comes of it.
BA,
Hey you changed your screen name! But I like the new name, CA is a happier name than BA.
If I can't find love and happiness because of big scarred pores then my life is sad to begin with.
Judging by the tone of your words I am sure you have no problem whatsoever in the love and happiness department. Good for you!!
I guess the only way to find out if sunscreen works, is apply it only on an area, get some sun on a lighter skin area (arm / leg), and see if it looks lighter than surrounding area at the end of the day. Just keep your face clean and moisturized, and devote the rest of your energy to other things in your life.
Emotionally I went through many phases after dermabrasion. Many months of hiding and deep depressions and workplace harassment, to braving to appear in public, to being fearless and believing I can lead a normal life despite the disfigurement. Now I've learn some people will always judge me because of the cosmetic damage. Not that it will stop me from keeping my chin up and fighting for what I want, but I notice I have become very anti-social especially at work, which is very sad because I used to be quite easy going and personable.
nah I am not a writer, English is not even my first language as you may notice, but I tried to describe my experience and feelings the best I can.
Take are and TTYL!
heehee...yeah, chocolat_amer actually means bitter chocolate, and I'm just kind of bitter now, but bitter sounds worse than ba, whereas bitter chocolat just makes me sound like a chocoholic .
I hope you're doing well. The summer months are coming on, and it's going to take me a lot of discipline to not go out and enjoy all that sunshine. How are you dealing with the sun? I'm going to buy a huge sun hat. I'm going to look ridiculous, but that's okay. I keep thinking if I was in China, then it would be perfectly acceptable to carry an umbrella (or even wear a face mask for flu and hepatitisi!) outside. Whereas here....ppl would stare and my colleagues would comment.
Skin side....I threw away my portable mirror and placed out of reach my swivel mirror so the only accessible mirror is my bathroom one. I guess there is a line between caring for my skin and being obsessed with it, and I crossed over quite a while ago. I literally was staring at my face a couple of times every hour (whether at home or in my compact) every single day. And that's neither mentally healthy nor safe. My next goal is not to visit acne.org so much 
!!
Weird thing though..... there was a woman who made fun of me at work (in a room full of ppl no less) when my face was bright red. I was totally humiliated but it was good in a way b/c it started me on this sun avoidance thing. Anyway, I saw her the other day and SHE was bright red. I was kind of shocked b/c her face is never ever red. She's one of those asians blessed with that old ivory skin tone. I know it shouldn't make me feel better, but on the other hand, how should I feel about it?
have you heard from hopeful lately? I haven't seen her update in a while.
Butterflies,
I swear when I talked to him months after dermabrasion he said he dermabraded lots of asians and no one ever have any problem, and I was the first one to suffer such noticeable problem. When questioned, he explicitly denied knowing higher risk of pigmentary change for type IV skin. He maintained no one before me were stuck with permanent redness.
From reading other threads, sounds like he is starting to advise people about risk regarding skin type. He has practised dermabrasion for decades, unless he is an idiot, he must understand the risks for darker skin people before the 4 of us. I believe he realized he can't just sweep his victims under the carpet like before internet, therefore he changes his act to cover his ass from more complaints.
On the bright side, if Yarborough keeps this up, less people will get hurt. But it is too late for us who suffered extreme color change because of his negligence / greed.
I have taken my share of punishment, I really he think deserves his too. I thought about Louisiana Board of Health but a wealthy and well known "doctor" like him probrably has lots of local support. I will look into AMA.
Thanks.
sword, have you considered legal action?or a complaint with the AMA and/or Louisiana Board of Health? the 4 of you should maybe look into that; it would make you feel less victimized & more in control, even if nothing comes of it.
if you're pursuing this path, then good luck! Hopefully, the recent legislation on tort reform won't make this any harder than it already is.
To Asian members who had dermabrasion: Do you notice significant changes in pore size / skin texture? I'm 3 1/2 month post dermabrasion (only on cheek area) and I notice a huge difference between the skin texture of undermabraded and dermabraded skin. Dermabraded skin looks much rougher and has much larger pores... my question is : Does the skin texture improve with time (at all)? Will be very grateful for replies!!
Hi Sword and BA (or is it CA?),
Just updating my 'progress'... if you can call it that. Okay, I won't be so negative from the start. The truth is, compared to 5+ months ago, my skin looks much more normal. Well, not normal for what my coloring used to be, but more normal in that it no longer looks transparent, blotchy and light pink.
As I'm currently approaching 11 months post op... I've been applying less and less SPF to test how my skin would react to the sun. I never went out tanning or anything but I didn't reapply SPF and I wasn't obsessed about layering it on. I can't tell if I have the ability to gain pigment or am able to tan just superficially. I mean that my skin prior to this procedure was at a neutral state yellow and tanned-looking (without the sun/even in the winter months).
After some sun exposure, I noticed that I did look a bit more tan. Then 3 or 4 days later, I would start to have mild peeling. The skin then returns to where it started -- uneven tone and much too light to match my neck and body.
With summer temperatures rising, heating up the streets of NYC, I began to feel depressed, frustrated, and simply pissed with my long hair draped over my neck, in a pathetic attempt to cover my demarc line. This week, I decided enough is enough. I chopped most of my hair off!! I now have the shortest haircut I've ever had in my entire life!! Liberating... feels like I can breath again.
Almost a year now, yet I struggle through some days as if it happened yesterday. I know I shouldn't torture myself, but I begin to imagine how I was a year ago... how carefree I had been (even with a few mild rolling scars).
Well, hope to hear better and better news from everyone,
-Hopeful, really I still am because I believe that nothing is forever. Through time, all this will change whether in our hearts, minds or bodies.
Hi Sword and BA (or is it CA?),
Just updating my 'progress'... if you can call it that. Okay, I won't be so negative from the start. The truth is, compared to 5+ months ago, my skin looks much more normal. Well, not normal for what my coloring used to be, but more normal in that it no longer looks transparent, blotchy and light pink.
As I'm currently approaching 11 months post op... I've been applying less and less SPF to test how my skin would react to the sun. I never went out tanning or anything but I didn't reapply SPF and I wasn't obsessed about layering it on. I can't tell if I have the ability to gain pigment or am able to tan just superficially. I mean that my skin prior to this procedure was at a neutral state yellow and tanned-looking (without the sun/even in the winter months).
After some sun exposure, I noticed that I did look a bit more tan. Then 3 or 4 days later, I would start to have mild peeling. The skin then returns to where it started -- uneven tone and much too light to match my neck and body.
With summer temperatures rising, heating up the streets of NYC, I began to feel depressed, frustrated, and simply pissed with my long hair draped over my neck, in a pathetic attempt to cover my demarc line. This week, I decided enough is enough. I chopped most of my hair off!! I now have the shortest haircut I've ever had in my entire life!! Liberating... feels like I can breath again.
Almost a year now, yet I struggle through some days as if it happened yesterday. I know I shouldn't torture myself, but I begin to imagine how I was a year ago... how carefree I had been (even with a few mild rolling scars).
Well, hope to hear better and better news from everyone,
-Hopeful, really I still am because I believe that nothing is forever. Through time, all this will change whether in our hearts, minds or bodies.
hi hopeful! Yeah, it's CA now. BA was too irritatingly depressing.
I'm so glad your skin is improving. I really do believe give it another year or two and it will be even better. I think in the case of facial skin, improvement just takes forever and may seem imperceptible, especially as how we're kind of stuck looking at it every day! you know what they say about watching water that never boils (or whatever....). And in the long run, what is one or two years? I've wasted longer time and more mental energy on idiotic boyfriends!
And yah, short hair rocks, in general, but especially in the summer, and I think it would look spectacular one you judging from some of the picture syou posted a while back. Mine is down to my back cuz i'm too broke to get it cut (decently!). But now it's getting so hot on the east coast, i'm tempted to take over the shears myself! I would look less disheveled anyway
On the skin side, is your body naturally tan or does it get pale if it has no sun exposure whatsoever? Right now, I'm just avoiding the sun as much as I can, and I notice less of a difference in color just because my body is also very pale now. And a pale body with a slightly pink face is *okay* I guess, for me anyway. But that's on good days. Also, I notice applying a mineral sunblock really "pales" me down. I only apply it to my neck, arms and chest. I look a little ghosty though. Like you, sometimes I just sit and think about the times when I had NO coloration issues whatsoever. I was always a very nice tan, top to bottom. And all this was just a couple of years ago in college. I never got red even when I walked for hours in the sun. But what's the good of dwelling on that. I guess I just hav eto concentrate on my no-sun future. Hopefully this means no wrinkles!
-CA
Almost a year now, yet I struggle through some days as if it happened yesterday. I know I shouldn't torture myself, but I begin to imagine how I was a year ago... how carefree I had been (even with a few mild rolling scars).
Hopeful,
I look at pre derma pictures sometimes and think about the same things too. It has been one hell of a year for you, I commend you for taking control and not succumbing to the emotionally painful aftermath. In my dictionary that makes you a hero.
From this experience I learned:
- A sincere sounding, charming doctor can practise unethical medicine without blinking an eye. The aftermath we live with now was none of his concern. I don't know if he has cleaned up his act now, but I shall never forgive him for what he did to us.
- Too often people are bastards to a guy who suffers such obvious surgical damage to his face. It is true, some are too eager to ruin your day although they gain nothing from it at all. I deny them the pleasure by not backing down and by taking high profile leadership roles. Regretfully, I developed a renegrade attitude and don't click with everyone like I used to. Now I reserve my friendship for a few friends and colleages who take me for who I am.
Take care and enjoy the summer,
if you're pursuing this path, then good luck! Hopefully, the recent legislation on tort reform won't make this any harder than it already is.
Thanks CA. Have a great summer.
Hi stts,
It has been 18 months since my full face dermabrasion with John Yarborough of New Orleans.
Besides drastic pigmentary change, persistent redness, demarcation lines, the texture is also very different than non dermabraded skin - basically rougher (which I don't mind anymore) and unnaturally shiny (which I hate).
How are you recovering in terms of redness reduction and pigment recovery?
Good Luck.
To Asian members who had dermabrasion: Do you notice significant changes in pore size / skin texture? I'm 3 1/2 month post dermabrasion (only on cheek area) and I notice a huge difference between the skin texture of undermabraded and dermabraded skin. Dermabraded skin looks much rougher and has much larger pores... my question is : Does the skin texture improve with time (at all)? Will be very grateful for replies!!
Hi stts,
It has been 18 months since my full face dermabrasion with John Yarborough of New Orleans.
Besides drastic pigmentary change, persistent redness, demarcation lines, the texture is also very different than non dermabraded skin - basically rougher (which I don't mind anymore) and unnaturally shiny (which I hate).
How are you recovering in terms of redness reduction and pigment recovery?
Good Luck.
To Asian members who had dermabrasion: Do you notice significant changes in pore size / skin texture? I'm 3 1/2 month post dermabrasion (only on cheek area) and I notice a huge difference between the skin texture of undermabraded and dermabraded skin. Dermabraded skin looks much rougher and has much larger pores... my question is : Does the skin texture improve with time (at all)? Will be very grateful for replies!!
Thank you very much sword, for your reply!
4 months after dermabrasion -- dermabraded area has an orange-peel texture, and I have to hide my cheeks behind hair: Thank God I didn't get full-face dermbrasion! I had Exoderm before Dermabrasion -- exoderm-treated skin has taken almost a year to slowly return to normal, but then when it's healed, its texture is smooth and pigmentation is even (there was probably some hypopigmentation during the winter but i notice that with some sun in the summer it does tan again).
My derm prescribed Hydroquinone + Tretinoin = bleaching cream to treat uneven pigmentation-- that irritated my skin so before the summer vacation starts I'm not going to use it yet. But I think in a month or so I'll try applying it again in the hope that it would help improve skin texture and blend hypopigmented and hyperpigmented areas. I know it might make me even paler --- but since fall/winter is coming again after the vacation I am not too afraid of using bleaching creams, or vit A or Tazorac ... I remember after exoderm my skin had had a terrible texture for the first3- 4 months but then I used Hydroquinone (despite the irritation) for 2 weeks and it did improve my overall skin texture (like smaller pores etc.). The skin would be red, and it would peel a bit. I will update my improvements (if there is going to be any)!!
Hi CA... yeah, your name is definitely more cheery : )
Thanks, I think my skin is ever so slowly improving. I'm also beginning to believe that time along with natural wear and tear of living will make the demarcation line less evident. I've also noticed that more and more of my yellow coloring is returning, however, the line is still definitely prominent.
To answer your question, my skin color is naturally darker. It's the undertone, so it takes alot more for me to get back to my original color after dermabrasion than someone else who may also be Asian.
Just walking around alot (so glad I got my hair cut... in the Fall, it'll be long again), anyhow, being outside almost everyday with minimal SPF is giving me some color back. I hope that by end of summer, most of my color will be back. I'll then get Vbeam for the red patches (still lingering and scarred - 2 raised) and get bleaching cream for the demarc line.
Hope everyone is having a good summer!
-H
hi hopeful! Yeah, it's CA now. BA was too irritatingly depressing.
I'm so glad your skin is improving. I really do believe give it another year or two and it will be even better. I think in the case of facial skin, improvement just takes forever and may seem imperceptible, especially as how we're kind of stuck looking at it every day! you know what they say about watching water that never boils (or whatever....). And in the long run, what is one or two years? I've wasted longer time and more mental energy on idiotic boyfriends!
And yah, short hair rocks, in general, but especially in the summer, and I think it would look spectacular one you judging from some of the picture syou posted a while back. Mine is down to my back cuz i'm too broke to get it cut (decently!). But now it's getting so hot on the east coast, i'm tempted to take over the shears myself! I would look less disheveled anyway
On the skin side, is your body naturally tan or does it get pale if it has no sun exposure whatsoever? Right now, I'm just avoiding the sun as much as I can, and I notice less of a difference in color just because my body is also very pale now. And a pale body with a slightly pink face is *okay* I guess, for me anyway. But that's on good days. Also, I notice applying a mineral sunblock really "pales" me down. I only apply it to my neck, arms and chest. I look a little ghosty though. Like you, sometimes I just sit and think about the times when I had NO coloration issues whatsoever. I was always a very nice tan, top to bottom. And all this was just a couple of years ago in college. I never got red even when I walked for hours in the sun. But what's the good of dwelling on that. I guess I just hav eto concentrate on my no-sun future. Hopefully this means no wrinkles!
-CA
Sword,
I completely relate to your comment about trusting and confiding in only a few loyal friends... with or without this derma trauma, I've always been that way. I think that in the end quality counts for so much more than having this and that friend who pretty much isn't there for you anyways. I don't know, I'm really fed up with friendships and associations based on convenience, to fill a void, or simply to feel "popular" (so junior high anyways).
Just really think that your perspective on social/relationships will allow for you to spend energies and time on more important aspects of life rather than waste one more second on another random diluted association.
Hope everything is well.
-H
Now I reserve my friendship for a few friends and colleages who take me for who I am.
A:
Yes the skin is bumpy, and it has significantly enlarged pores. Once in a while some white heads would develop. Yet I notice that I have less breakouts in general -- but this could be attributed to my increased awareness in using only mild cleansers and moisterisers, at best without preservatives and fragrance, ph 5.5/7 etc.. I'm using bronzers to hide the blotchiness on my cheeks (only cheeks were dermabraded). It's the orange-peel texture that I cannot hide with makeup. So I'm wearing my hair down all the time now. I am giving it 2+ years to heal. By then I hope skin research will have made some significant breakthroughs (maybe they already did. I mean, look at Madonna)... Until now scientists have been rather conservative in scar treatment. Apart from removing top layers of skin or injecting temporary fillers they don't seem to be utilising the advancement made in gene technology. I don't care that much about having giant tomatoes or beef that doesn't rot. I was watching "the Island" one day -- not that I think cloning human beings is good but cloning new skin is really like a dream.
Don't despair! Maybe in ten years' time we will have not only found the solution to scars, but perhaps the real elixir to completely stop the aging process 
Oh well...
stts: does the picture you post give an accurate portrayal of the "orange peel" texture? It looks just like alot of pores to me and my cheeks are just like that, and I never had dermabrasion.
What did your skin look like before the dermabrasion? Did it help at all? Who did you have the exoderm with?
I don't know if I should despair or not. Sometimes I look at my skin and I think "well, today's not so bad" But then I realize almost every one has nicer skin than me. I just don't know anymore. It's just worse being asian since everyone expects asian women to have poreless skin. I'm almost driven to use makeup if I wasn't on such a lazy streak.
Hopeful: I hope the vbeam helps. Do you have any recent pictures?
I'm not sure if anything can really help me. I use to not think so but now I'm starting to realize maybe I have orange peel texture on my cheeks. (I would post some pictuers and ask for opionions but my phone camera doesn't show anything.) Up close, it's very disturbing and not what young skin should look like. I guess I've had to look at it so much I just got use to it and never realized how orange peely it is. Oh well, I'm not planning on doing anything for it or to it since obviously nothing can really be done. But what a bummer.
Hey CA!
The pictures I took don't show how bumpy my skin really is. When I said "orange-peel texture", I meant it literally -- because when u look at an orange, it's shiny and not as smooth as an apple and it has noticeable "pores" on it.
If your only problem is pore-size -- I heard anything ranging from AHA/BHA products, Retin-A, Tazorac to mild peels may help. Besides, Asian women DON"T have poreless skin. Actually I notice that white 0 - 20 year-olds have much smaller pores than Asians in general. (and from 20+ Whites start to age rather quickly, in contrast to Asians and Africans). The larger the pore-size, the more moisture and oil the skin is able to hold/produce -- Asians have less problems with dry skin, while white women have to start using very oily creams at an early age.
honestly, have you ever really looked at your Asian girlfriends from a distance of like, 10-20 cm? If not, you won't really be able to judge if they have smoother skin or smaller pores than you --- my bf is German-Italian. I guess he has skin Type II-III (seldom burns, tans but rather slowly). If I am not looking at his face under 40+ Watt-lighting/sunlight from a weired angle AND from a distance of just a few inches, I would never have noticed that he has pores on his face at all -- but then, sometimes when I am "really" looking, he seems to have even more than me!
I understand what you mean --- everyone seems to have better skin than me. But a lot of women wear make-up, and a lot more have various flaws on their skin, but you won't notice anyways unless under unfavorable lighting etc. A lot who do not have acne have white heads, wrinkles, dark circles around the eyes, or a greyish-pink complexion (which a lot of celebs have when not wearing thick makeup) .... a lot of white women envy Asians for their high cheekbone, their olive skin, and the fact that they age much more slowly. No one is perfect! Even if you had flawless skin you would start envying little children for how soft their skin is. So what the hell. I sure am not happy about how my skin is looking right now, but I do believe that it will improve with more patience and time! Look at the bright side of life
Hey CA!
The pictures I took don't show how bumpy my skin really is. When I said "orange-peel texture", I meant it literally -- because when u look at an orange, it's shiny and not as smooth as an apple and it has noticeable "pores" on it.
If your only problem is pore-size -- I heard anything ranging from AHA/BHA products, Retin-A, Tazorac to mild peels may help. Besides, Asian women DON"T have poreless skin. Actually I notice that white 0 - 20 year-olds have much smaller pores than Asians in general. (and from 20+ Whites start to age rather quickly, in contrast to Asians and Africans). The larger the pore-size, the more moisture and oil the skin is able to hold/produce -- Asians have less problems with dry skin, while white women have to start using very oily creams at an early age.
honestly, have you ever really looked at your Asian girlfriends from a distance of like, 10-20 cm? If not, you won't really be able to judge if they have smoother skin or smaller pores than you --- my bf is German-Italian. I guess he has skin Type II-III (seldom burns, tans but rather slowly). If I am not looking at his face under 40+ Watt-lighting/sunlight from a weired angle AND from a distance of just a few inches, I would never have noticed that he has pores on his face at all -- but then, sometimes when I am "really" looking, he seems to have even more than me!
I understand what you mean --- everyone seems to have better skin than me. But a lot of women wear make-up, and a lot more have various flaws on their skin, but you won't notice anyways unless under unfavorable lighting etc. A lot who do not have acne have white heads, wrinkles, dark circles around the eyes, or a greyish-pink complexion (which a lot of celebs have when not wearing thick makeup) .... a lot of white women envy Asians for their high cheekbone, their olive skin, and the fact that they age much more slowly. No one is perfect! Even if you had flawless skin you would start envying little children for how soft their skin is. So what the hell. I sure am not happy about how my skin is looking right now, but I do believe that it will improve with more patience and time! Look at the bright side of life
thanks stts, you have a good perspective on things and I believe you're right. But my pores up close actually look wayy worse than your picture. YOur pores actually look like pores. Mine aren't just big, but they're scarred and often times red. (yikes, i just realized i'm plyaing the acne.org game of "my scars are worse than yours...". sorry) What I have now are not my pores, so to speak. They're the result of assault by bp and other crap. a number of ppl close to me have commented on how red my skin is and how unnaturally huge my pores are. their hugeness are not just a matter of size, they also have scraggly borders because they're actually scarred. I don't mind my other scars, but the scarred pores are so numerous and prominent. In fact, I can see my scarred pores (like holes on my face really) even if I hold the mirror at more than arms length when I wear my glasses.
you hit it right on with the oil production. I notice when my face is oily, the scarred pores look more smooth without that horrendous orange peel effect it acquires sometimes when its dry.
My emotions are kind of tied up with my skin right now. Especially when an ex-lover saw me recently and commented how different I look now. His eyes kept straying to my cheeks. unless I grew eyes there, I'm guessing he was looking at those pores. I don't mean to sound insecure or vain but I really used to be pretty and that's just 2 years ago. Over usage of bp has brought me to this pass, especially as I probably had sensitive skin to begin with. But now my skin turns red and puffy when I fall off my diet wagon, and if I ewear makeup i htink it just makes it worse, I just feel like a complete monster and it shows.
CA: I'm sorry to have written so much crap without first asking how your condition really is... I never really felt pretty before and I don't now (first because of acne then because of scars) so I guess I won't be able to imagine the psychological pain you are going through. Whenever I'm leaving the house I need to put makeup on, not to look pretty but to look acceptable. No one ever gave me compliments on my skin. Guess I have bad genes to start with so I wont become much prettier even with all the procedures. Just that scars are really like flaws -- unlike being short or having funny looking toes...
Did you read the thread about fraxel? It seems that it stimulates growth of collagen and thereby reduces pore size , and it's non-ablative, thus (supposedly) rather safe for sensitive skin. Don't mistake me I am recommending anything -- but a lot of people reported a noticeable improvement in skin texture, if not in scar appearance.. Maybe that could undo some of the the damage done by bp? (I never liked bp myself.. anything else, even differin, is better.)