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Some more update pictures, these span from March 31st to today, so it's a little over a month. My left side seems to have made some slight progress, however my right side just seems to stay the same. There's absolutely no active acne whatsoever on my face, but this redness/scarring/red marks just won't budge, and hasn't budged since I started ;( It's really disheartening because I thought accutane would help those...and you can't have any other kind of scar/red mark treatment for 6 months...
These pictures don't quite capture the redness, either, as when I email them from my phone, then upload them some of the quality is obviously lost, but you get the general jist. I don't really know what to think at this stage. Tomorrow marks the start of my 4th month, and I thought the 3rd month was meant to be the magic one! ;( I feel like I'm going to have to just get used to the idea of wearing makeup forever...
Is this regular progress for accutane guys? Am I on the right track? Every time I look at logs I can see DISTINCT difference in the photos from month to month, however, mine just seem to be quite similar... obviously on top of these as well I also have similar scarring/red marks all over my back (which still has actives) and chest...so it's fairly depressing...I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I don't see how you're not seeing the results at this point. The bottom pictures or left sides of your face shows blatant red mark fadeness and no active acne which is good if you've reached the stage where accutane has now stopped the acne from surfacing and now your skin can focus on the healing. The right side of your face has been cleared from acne if you compare it to the before pic and I can still see progress in the marks fading. Your chin is beautiful clear and look at that forehead, marks are nonexistent and will remain that way after accutane. I think if you look at the top picture you can see the progress of your 4 acne marks at the bottom right of your forehead. They're clearly fading. I know you feel good about your front face picture because you look great.
Last thing, be very careful with shaving, since you're staying at home I wouldn't even shave due to your skin being more sensitive being on accutane especially now into month 4. Never pick your pimples or you will get fucked by the mark on the longterm while on accutane. And you stay clear of makeup if you can, I know a dude who started you concealers from marks he had and has been breaking out ever since.
Tator! Sorry I missed your post.. Thank you for the kindness, it honestly helped me so much.. It's weird, I cant really see the improvement myself yet, but I think it's more my BDD, well at least that's what im telling myself!
As for shaving i stopped using razors completely and instead now use an electric. I used to get horrible ingrown hairs from shaving but now I rarely get any which is obviously a plus! It doesnt give me a clean shave, but it's worth it.
I also don't wear makeup at all anymore! Well im trying.. In my chosen profession makeup is always going to be used in some degree.. I wonder what the best thing to put under makeup is in order to kind of 'block it' from touching your skin if you know what I mean, haha.
Good idea on the electric. You could go back on regular razors once you've been of acne a few months and acne has absolutely stopped producing (and for some people it's a few weeks to a month after being off accutane but almost everyone notices the skin get overall better after accutane even when they already had their skin cleared during the treatment). But I would suggest you buy a nice razor for shaving, I personally use gillette fusion. It's like 15 bucks for one, they I buy the cartridges separately. (I change every month). And yeah I get you on the makeup thing, I've used concealers before to cover up my marks and I'm a guy (straight one at that too but I'm pretty insecure/vain). I've come to realize we after years of dealing with consistent mild to moderate acne that we are our own biggest critics. Now that my acne is leaving my life, I wish I was less hard on myself earlier. Unless you have really severe acne or you're under extreme harsh lighting right next to your face, most people will literally not give a crap and that it includes possible love candidates lol. Good luck and keep us posted on your progression.
I'm so upset...
I've had a really bad breakout and, I don't know if I've mentioned on this particular thread before, but I'm also battliing verrucae and warts on my hands and fingers which I am treating with duct tape/apple cider vinegar...however, these means that they look even more hideous and are SO so so tender and painful. I can't sleep because of the pain.
I hate everyone and everything, my family are beginning to hate me as well because of how I have no life or future and am stuck at home with them. I mean, what even does a dermatologist do? All the skin conditions I can think of, verrucae, warts, acne, scars, marks, rosacea, dermititis, seborrhic dermitits....none of them have any cure, and most, like rosacea and seborrhic, don't even have anything to help! As far as I see it, a dermatolost is simply there to go, "yep, it's red and ugly!" as a confirmation. Heh...
Before Monday I hadn't left the house in 5 months -- then monday, tuesday, wednesday and thursday I spent all day going out with friends for the first time. I was trying so so hard to just get my life back and to be normal and happy, but then what happens? I start having awful breakouts again, my face/chest/back is covered and my hands and feet look awful.
I look like a monster. There's no denying it.
There's no way that this will just all 'clear up' in a couple of months as my family keep, stupidly, saying and that I should just 'get over it' and 'be happy'. There's way too many problems, it will take years and years to fix all of this and these are the most important years of my life. The years I should be out, enjoying myself, trying new things, and instead I'm stuck at home, in pain, crying all day every day in a body I hate. There's not one part of me that I like.
I honestly don't see any way out. Live the next 10 years trying to fix everything, scared to do this or that incase it breaks me out, watching my life fall apart as I sit at home and ruin everyone else's with what a failure I've become, or to just end it now and hope that this oh-so-wonderful God who puts us through this is kind enough to give me a normal-looking body in my next life.
I can't do ANYTHING. Going out is the biggest effort because it just upsets me. I have to cover up everything about myself...makeup on my face (i'm a guy), shirts that cover up the acne/marks on my neck/chest/back, socks, plasters on four of my fingers to cover the warts...by the time you've done all of that to go and see a friend for an hour, you realize that it's just not worth it. Even when you are out, you're loking down, holding your glass/cutlery in a way as to not show your warts, trying to show happiness as your friends tell you how well their lives are progressing and making up stuff to fill the void of the last 5 months to try and make it sound like you're doing something -- anything. I had hoped that by now, day 105, I would be able to say SOMEthing positive...like, oh ok, my chest and back are still a mess, but at least my face is perfect! Or vice versa, or, oh at least my hands and feet are perfect! But no...I look just as bad as ever. One spot goes, it leaves a red mark and three more pop up elsewhere.
So so so sorry for the depressing post guys, I just feel like here is the only place where I can actually share how I feel without being told to just 'get over it'. I look and feel like the ugliest person on the planet, and I just want my life to be over. It's my brothers birthday tomorrow and I can't even go out...they're going to be climbing the O2 arena in London, but I'm struggling to walk with the verrucae, my fingers look disgusting, and my face/back/chest are just red raw.
I'm ashamed of what I've become.
I don't know too much about them but can you not get the warts and verruca frozen off? I think boots does a sort of at home kit for it. Don't let this breakout set you back, sometimes in the process of getting clear it's like one step forward and two back but you need to keep going and you are trying so hard that takes courage when you feel so low, trust me. Don't be so hard on yourself everyone is fighting something in their life at one time or another, this is your struggle and you'll get through it and be a better person for it.
I swear keep taking it, I know it sucks. my skin was bad before I started accutane but from month 1-3 I had the WORST acne I have ever ever ever had in my life it was only around the end of month 4 I started to see an improvement I'm now at the beginning of month 6 and I'm so glad I didn't give up my skin is so clear and I know this is a weird thing to say but I can actually see my freckles and skin and it feels AMAZING !! Although I still get a new pimple every few days but they are small and nothing compared to ones I got before accutane. I just hope it stays clear when I stop ! the redness is a struggle I have a lot of red marks from where I had the acne and I just hope it fades with time. Good Luck 
Sorry guys about that post...was definately a low day, heh...
I'm having them frozen, but that's not really doing too much so I'm trying alternative methods on top of that.
I totally know I'll be a better person when this is all done! I'll respect everything so much more...it's just hard to see the future when you're struggling right now. But thank you guys for the support!
Ac, it's good to hear your story and well done on doing so well! Congrats! 
Honestly man I wouldn't worry about the red marks I did the same shit as you are and hid away like an idiot I was so vein , and I understand how you feel because you get yourself pumped for finally not having to worry about stuff and it's kinda like a kick in the teeth . Believe me though if you escape with slow healing wounds and red marks you will be lucky , I just want you to see that you can still live your life because I felt the same however mine were and still are a little worse because I still get acne , but thanks to accutane I have bigger things to worry about than red marks acne and Rosacea, my body is fucked I have chronic dehydration and as a result swollen bladder from water retention , intense muscle pain , my head spins daily and my mouth is dry as a desert , my eyes burn but worst of all as a result of dehydration I'm assuming is the overwhelming fatigue and weakness which means I am basically disabled its that bad , I don't even have time to think about the hair loss when my body has lost 18 kilos in a year and I'm to weak to stand , this happened after accutane and I was on lexapro an anti depressant like you while on it , I assume some of my problems with dehydration may have been exabherated by taking two medications but yeah , I wish I was in your boat mate , I know it's hard , I heard a saying that goes like this " a man sat in a bar with a glass eye , he was bitter and angry at the world because he was faced with the strain of only using one eye, then in walked a blind man with a stick , he sat at the bar and smiled as he drank his whiskey in content , this made the first man feel lucky he still had the ability to see but it didn't change the fact he still had to struggle " what I'm trying to say is I don't want you to feel guilty for worrying about your worries because at the end of the day they are your worries , I just don't want you to make my mistake and waste the time you have , I hope you find peace with yourself and your own appearance , you may find that you base to much emphasis on it , I learnt this hardest way I possibly could but I've learnt ,, , just make the most of what you have and don't let it pass you by , best of luck to you my friend lock into your inner strength , and chase your dreams to the best of your ability before you come to regret the time you wasted
Well... a lot has changed in my state of mind since my last post.
I'm really really trying my best to overcome my social anxiety and dysmorphia. I've started to get myself back into work and to increase my social activity...I've been out every day the past week and a half and overcome some pretty personal milestones...
Last week I was hired to sing at an event, which went really well...Friday I managed to go to the gym for the first time in 6 months. My dysmorphia did play up and I couldn't help but take a couple of pictures to judge how awful I looked, but I got through it...and yesterday I even went back to a highly professional dance center for my first professional dance class of the year (where I used to go roughly 3 times a week)...this was a huge huge trigger for me, but I got through it. I was exceptionally red after the class (obviously from the extreme strenuous physical activity), but I was definately a LOT redder than I was last year. Part of me, however, is thinking this may just be the accutane. Either way, although it took me an extra 40 minutes after class to 'cool down' and try to make myself look presentable, I still went and this was a major accomplishment for me.
I've also got two more singing jobs coming up and also a presenting contract. We'll see how they go...I've even started using social media again and snapchat! (Haha)
So I'm really really trying my best to get out there, but it's hard, heh... I'm having a pretty down day today, maybe I've been doing too much all at once. Butt I am going out later for a meal with friends so that should distract me.
Skin wise, it's still the same...I'm not really getting any actives anymore, but the redness and red marks are still there. I seem to look like I'm sunburnt all the time. However, I only apply moisturizer around my mouth as my dermatologist said to avoid the 'active' areas which are my cheeks, and to just let them dry out. They don't really get too flaky, but I think that the dead skin sort of 'covers up' some of the redness, hehe...which is maybe why when I was sweating in class yesterday I looked so red because it kinda washed it off? I don't know...
Little steps, little steps, but I'm trying my best to get my life back on track. I'm still so so so incredibly self-conscious about how I look, and I hate my body with a passion, but maybe it's starting to look up.
Unrbroken, thank you for your post. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with Accutane, but I hope things do start looking up. Sending virtual hugs your way! I love that quote about the blind man, it's so so so true! People often say, well look, he has this or that and is happy -- but it doesn't eliminate our own personal struggles. Please keep us updated with how you're faring as well! I guess I'm very lucky that, so far, I have experienced absolutely no side effects apart from some dryness around my face and arms. I'm aching like a madman today, but that's because I went to the gym and dance for the first time in forever, although it does feel slightly more intense than before accutane.
It's good that you have gained the courage to take back the things you deserve man it really is I'm happy for you , no one deserves to live in isolation it's just not human nature I came to realise the fact that looks aren't that important the hard way and I regret the decision I made everyday , there is a part of me that doesn't though because I wanted to be care free and simply not stress about my appearance in all truth that is why I did it , to simply try an eradicate something that made me feel worthless , so I have come to realise the error of my ways but also to forgive my self for a mistake . I'm glad you liked the quote haha I feel it can apply to a lot of things if you read into it hard enough . Now about the flushing , it's not caused by dead skin cells it's some sort of histamine response triggered by accutane which a long with skin peeling and thinning is the reason you burn a lot easier on the medication , a lot of people experience this , most of the derns will try tell you it's "residual dryness" but that's definitely not the case , it's simply the accutane and also anti depressants are renowned for flushing to . I found once I stopped that it does die down to a degree , well the permanent facial redness anyway , it's not ferocious anymore , but yeah I still have to deal with it so if it gets to a point where it's severe then don't hesitate to come off the medication because you maybe stuck with it for the long term and it's a pain in the arse :/ thankyou also for your kind words that means a lot I to hope my health will improve,, best of luck !
Thanks so much dude! Yeah...it's hard...even though I'm putting myself out there more, my skin and appearance is CONSTANTLY on my mind. I'll continue to take subtle selfies when I'm out with my friends or on my journey to/from just to see how awful I look. It's become an obsession...I just want for a day when I can truly be happy with myself but I still don't see it.
I feel like my face is permanantly red, but the dead skin kinda covers it up a bit and makes it look more white...kind of like makeup if that makes sense, haha, and when I shower or sweat it comes off and I see the real me underneath. To be honest, I really really don't want to be on antidepressants...I don't feel like they are really helping/will help...the problem is my skin, it's a physical reality and as long as that is there, I'm not going to just be happy. I may eventually learn to live with it, which is what I;m trying to do, but an antidepressant won't make me look in the mirror and go - oh I look great today! When I don't...I don't like the thought of having to take more chemicals when I'm already on accutane as well...
Regardless, I'm trying my best to overcome this and it sounds like you are as well, which is so so great! Maybe we can all just get through this together in the long run and look back and think...man, was I stupid to worry!
Haha...either way, last night and today I've been feeling rather cruddy...I took some pictures and I looked particularly red and irritated, I was going to go gym again today but because of how I felt didn't, which kinda took me one step back...But, I have been out every day the past week and a half and overcomed two personal milestones (class and gym) so as long as I have a majority of good days, one bad day where I stay inside and sulk is fine by me...
Little steps at a time!
Thanks so much dude! Yeah...it's hard...even though I'm putting myself out there more, my skin and appearance is CONSTANTLY on my mind. I'll continue to take subtle selfies when I'm out with my friends or on my journey to/from just to see how awful I look. It's become an obsession...I just want for a day when I can truly be happy with myself but I still don't see it.
I feel like my face is permanantly red, but the dead skin kinda covers it up a bit and makes it look more white...kind of like makeup if that makes sense, haha, and when I shower or sweat it comes off and I see the real me underneath. To be honest, I really really don't want to be on antidepressants...I don't feel like they are really helping/will help...the problem is my skin, it's a physical reality and as long as that is there, I'm not going to just be happy. I may eventually learn to live with it, which is what I;m trying to do, but an antidepressant won't make me look in the mirror and go - oh I look great today! When I don't...I don't like the thought of having to take more chemicals when I'm already on accutane as well...
Regardless, I'm trying my best to overcome this and it sounds like you are as well, which is so so great! Maybe we can all just get through this together in the long run and look back and think...man, was I stupid to worry!
Haha...either way, last night and today I've been feeling rather cruddy...I took some pictures and I looked particularly red and irritated, I was going to go gym again today but because of how I felt didn't, which kinda took me one step back...But, I have been out every day the past week and a half and overcomed two personal milestones (class and gym) so as long as I have a majority of good days, one bad day where I stay inside and sulk is fine by me...
Little steps at a time!
Man, this sounds exactly like what I'm going through. You seriously are improving. The next time you feel bad about the way you look and you don't want to go out - know that if your friends have an issue with appearances, they are not your true friends and aren't worth your time. You seem like a cool person and they shouldn't care whether you have acne or not. And don't worry about strangers because they're strangers and you probably won't see them again anyways.
Now if I only took my own advice. I know it's not easy and when people say, "Don't worry about it. You look fine." you wanna just punch them in the face because they don't understand. The whole taking selfies during the day...yep, I do that. I even turn my head and take pictures to see how my cheeks look. I use my hair to cover my cheeks because I don't want people to see my acne or my scars - even though I know it could be worse and my husband tells me you can't even tell unless you are like 3 inches from my face in a certain kind of light which nobody is, I still feel awful about it and it doesn't matter what he tells me. What matters is the way I feel about myself - which isn't good and I need to work on that. That's what this site is for. Encouragement and understanding.
I'm on my 5th day of Accutane and I am seeing new cysts and bumps already popping up everyday and I'm oilier than ever. We need to stay strong and to keep in mind this is only the beginning of hopefully a won battle. WE CAN DO THIS!
Thanks so much dude! Yeah...it's hard...even though I'm putting myself out there more, my skin and appearance is CONSTANTLY on my mind. I'll continue to take subtle selfies when I'm out with my friends or on my journey to/from just to see how awful I look. It's become an obsession...I just want for a day when I can truly be happy with myself but I still don't see it.
I feel like my face is permanantly red, but the dead skin kinda covers it up a bit and makes it look more white...kind of like makeup if that makes sense, haha, and when I shower or sweat it comes off and I see the real me underneath. To be honest, I really really don't want to be on antidepressants...I don't feel like they are really helping/will help...the problem is my skin, it's a physical reality and as long as that is there, I'm not going to just be happy. I may eventually learn to live with it, which is what I;m trying to do, but an antidepressant won't make me look in the mirror and go - oh I look great today! When I don't...I don't like the thought of having to take more chemicals when I'm already on accutane as well...
Regardless, I'm trying my best to overcome this and it sounds like you are as well, which is so so great! Maybe we can all just get through this together in the long run and look back and think...man, was I stupid to worry!
Haha...either way, last night and today I've been feeling rather cruddy...I took some pictures and I looked particularly red and irritated, I was going to go gym again today but because of how I felt didn't, which kinda took me one step back...But, I have been out every day the past week and a half and overcomed two personal milestones (class and gym) so as long as I have a majority of good days, one bad day where I stay inside and sulk is fine by me...
Little steps at a time!
I came across some of your posts today. I've been going through a rough patch the past month. I had pretty bad acne for about a year when I was 16-17. I've managed to keep it under control for about 3 years now, I'm 20. For some reason my forehead has been persistently breaking out the past month like when I was 16-17 years old. But like literally only my forehead everywhere else has no acne, it's almost like an allergic reaction or something. Anyway, The way you talk in your posts describes how i felt then and how i've felt this month 100%. I even did some pretty ridiculous stuff in high school on days where my skin was really bad, like I ate lunch in the bathroom on a few occasions and now looking back it's honestly kind of funny. Oh man, The way acne makes people feel is a serious problem. I desperately wish I lived in a time where there was a vaccine or cure, I've thought about that too many times. sad.
Tduddits, it's so true to not worry about what people think, but it's hard, eh? Hehe... I think I mayve have a warped sense of self-worth based on my career path...every job i've had/will have it based solely on my appearance. I've grown up being told my teachers/tutors you need to be thin, look perfect all the time, never fail, etc... and, the harsh reality is...it's kinda true for my career! Which is maybe why this has hit me so hard...everyone else seems so flawless!
And hahaha I turn my head in my selfies to take a look at how I'm looking as well! Usually I always look at my right side as that's the worst and never really look at my left. Congrats on making the decision to start accutane, however! And if you suffer from an initial breakout, just stick through it! Keep me updated on how you're faring!
Hey intothewind, I'm sorry to hear you've been going through a tough month. How odd that it's just in one area! Although, it seems like the right side of my face is my main problem area...not only with Acne, it seems that's the side that scars, the side that gets irritated if I shave, etc...it's like...just give that area a break! Haha! And don't feel silly...at my last job when this all started, I ate my lunch in the toilet as well and would just spend my time there on my phone so no-one would have to see me. Whatever helps us cope at the time.
As for myself... it's funny, the end of last week and beginning of this week I was really trying to be positive, working hard to get my life back, overcoming milestones, going out every day...but for the last couple of days it's been a bit rough. I went to my dance class yesterday but before I left just broke out in tears...I just looked at myself and got so upset. Still, I managed to go, but I just felt pretty low. I was going to meet a friend later but decided to cancel...I plan on just staying in this weekend. I had a good 6-7 days where I went out every day, but I feel like I just need two days to kind of put my anxiety at ease and stay in...
So here I am, chilling on my laptop with a nice beer and playing some video games -- pretending to not have a care so I'm ready to tackle life again on monday.
I can definitely relate to feeling like you need to look your best based on solely what people expect you to look like. Before my acne got bad, I always got complimented on my appearance and not other aspects like my personality or intelligence. I felt like if I didn't have my appearance then what would be so great about me? I know this is a stupid way of thinking but it's hard not to think that way when that's all people validated to me about. I would be flabbergasted if someone said, "Wow, you're really intelligent," instead of "Lookin' good today." So yes, I get it.
I think the main thing that keeps me going is really finding my "true self." What is unique and great about "me" that I am proud of and could care less about if other people think is interesting. For example I've gotten really into fantasy books. Some people will tell me it's nerdy but it's for me and only me. Again, focus on what you want outta life instead of how others think you should live. I am also focusing on being a good person to society and showing people what's great about my personality besides what I look like. Just today at work I got my whole graphic design team to karaoke a little and relax a bit. Little moments like that is really helpful.
Good luck with everything and I hope my advice really helps you! It really helps me to read other peoples experiences and advice because it makes me realize I'm not alone in this. Thanks for sharing your story.
Btw I just started a post called "My Accutane Venure 27Y/o Female" if you ever wanna check it out.
Hey guys, hope everyone is well.
Again...been an up-and-down kinda time. Some days I feel like I can cope, but others I feel awful... I've started having odd little jobs again which have brought me out of my shell a bit more...but when I get home, all I want to do is just hide, heh. I was teaching dance yesterday for three hours, and I felt fine before -- but obviously when I sweat/get hot, my face gets extremely extremely red and it brings out all of my hyperpigmentation so much. Literally, for the rest of the day, and even today, my face is still 'cooling down', and it just upsets me. Dance, performance, physical activity and teaching is my passion...but I feel like it triggers my anxiety because it makes my face so ugly. The same with when I go to my dance lessons and the gym...I just hate it...I build up the courage to go, convincing myself I look ok, and then my face just goes beet red.
I think what's odd is that my face doesn't entirely go red...it's just my cheeks. Literally, along my stubble line and where the stubble grows on the side of my face/jaw, it's 100% normal colour and stays that way, but the cheeks(where the pigmentation is) are bright red on a normal day -- which then gets exaggerated when I undergo physical activity but the rest of my face stays normal. If I press against my skin it goes normal coloured for one second before reverting, as if I'm constantly burnt.
It just upsets me because I can't see improvement when my skin just stays so red, bringing out the hyperpigmentation. I don't want to get scared of dancing/performing...but I am.
Tduddits; I totally relate...before accutane, I would get a few compliments on my appearance, but now they have all just completely stopped. I love the fact you love fantasy books though! I've always been into video games...always been a mini-passion since I was like...7 xD I think it's important to try and find other 'positives' about you...I mean, I was looking back at old photos and there are some where I had really bad acne...maybe even worse than I do now -- but it never bothered me! Like...in my mind, I think I have this unrealistic memory that I looked PERFECT before...and, well, I didn't! It was just that I never gave acne a second thought before this year!
Tduddits; I totally relate...before accutane, I would get a few compliments on my appearance, but now they have all just completely stopped. I love the fact you love fantasy books though! I've always been into video games...always been a mini-passion since I was like...7 xD I think it's important to try and find other 'positives' about you...I mean, I was looking back at old photos and there are some where I had really bad acne...maybe even worse than I do now -- but it never bothered me! Like...in my mind, I think I have this unrealistic memory that I looked PERFECT before...and, well, I didn't! It was just that I never gave acne a second thought before this year!
I can relate as well to this, well I had less red marks but I found a picture where I had pretty bad active spots, and in my head I barely had acne at this time !!
Really this disease also exists in the head.
I also notice that when I'm in a good mood, I don't really mind how I look but when feeling bad, suddenly I think I look horrible and I'll avoid going outside.
When beeing aware about acne, we also started beeing much harder on ourselves, looking closer in the miror, seeing things we didn't see before.
People don't look at us that way.
Hey dude! Yeah...it's weird how it never bothered me before...
I can remember the exact day and moment that it started bothering me...I was shopping with my friends and we were trying on some big fluffy winter hats for fun...when I looked in the mirror I noticed all these non-inflammatory bumps on my forehead...and that's where it started. I always wonder, maybe if I didn't go shopping that day I wouldn't be where I am now, and would be living my life...
Like you said, when I feel good I'm ok, but when I feel bad EVERY negative feature pops out. Ugh!
I went to the derm today for my monthly checkup and she said she was happy with it, but it wasn't all good news. My liver levels or whatnot are high so if they carry on I may need to be referred to a specialist, she also said that the redness will probably stay as it is now, which I'm not particularly happy with, but we'll see. She thinks I'll be on for another two months, coming off in August, so the end is in sight at least.
I was upset, and got a bit tearful on the way home but my mum said something that's so true. If on day one I took my accutane and woke up looking like I do now the next day, I would be OVER THE MOON. Literally, how happy I would be, and its true. Because I see myself every day it's so hard to see or accept improvement, and even pictures don't show the texture or bumps as they are so they don't always give you the right gauge of improvement -- but if I looked how I did day one and could click and be where I am now in a second and notice the difference, I might see just how drastic my improvement actually is.
