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@TrueJustice
How long and at what dosage have you been taking vitamin k2 mk7?
This wouldnt be something thats going to happen over night, if some things are still correctable especially as people like yourself start to reach middle age.
Many other factors, dietary and supplements might antagonise this as well.
Ive mentioned these things before. There is evidence to show a possibility. Thats all I can tell you at this point.
Here is a example of a possible time frame. Older population, different scenario, but might not be far off.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4566462/
One recent, double-blind, randomized clinical trial investigated the effects of supplemental MK-7, MenaQ7 (NattoPharma ASA, Hovik, Norway), within a 3-year period for a group of 244 postmenopausal Dutch women.54The researchers found that a daily dose of 180 mcg was enough to improve bone mineral density, bone strength, and cardiovascular health. They also showed that achieving a clinically relevant improvement required at least 2 years of supplementation.
Prob about 6 months but certainly not 2 years - I appreciate that report so I should probably continue taking it...
Have you had low Vit K in blood work? Be great to get a bit more proof with K deficiency but weve all been there with blood tests.
The great thing with tane - it fucks you up without leaving any evidence....the ultimate murder drug....
47 minutes ago, TrueJustice said:Prob about 6 months but certainly not 2 years - I appreciate that report so I should probably continue taking it...
Have you had low Vit K in blood work? Be great to get a bit more proof with K deficiency but weve all been there with blood tests.
The great thing with tane - it fucks you up without leaving any evidence....the ultimate murder drug....
When your side effects first hit in your 20's did you notice any weight gain at all? Even though your diet remained the same?
No definitely not, in fact one of the reasons I feel I was adversely affected was due to being rather thin, fit and into running - taking Roaccutane whilst running would be a sure way of making it circulate the entire body very quickly.....be like getting bitten by a snake and taking jog, very crazy idea!!!!
Im about 10-12kg overweight at 42, not helped by my job where I drive all day as a sales executive. Also my diet isnt brilliant but Ive been through all the diets and due to the fact that it doesnt make a difference and I like my food Ive decided not to deny myself this pleasure.
Theres been people on here whove stuck out new diets for years with no big changes - its fucking heartbreaking.
On 11/9/2017 at 0:21 PM, tryingtohelp2014 said:hair mineral analysis is quackery.
I'm not so sure these are 'quackery'. I've recently had one done, and was surprised at how many of the things it predicts correctly based on mineral ratios etc are backed up by bloods, and obviously they have no access to my medical records, just my hair sample.
For example it predicts low thyroid function with likely high TSH and normal-high T4. Exactly what my bloods say - I have high TSH and normal-high T4. Also predicts my metabolic rate to be very high, which it clearly is - I cannot put on weight.
It also suggests a low copper/zinc ratio, and suggests eating more copper rich foods. Low bioavailable copper would lead to low red and white blood cell count, and lowhemoglobin - again, bloods back this up. Interestingly it also suggests reducing vitamin A intake.
The only toxicity I have is mercury, which would suggest I have amalgam fillings - again I do, so this ties in. So I don't think these are quackery, I think the main issue is they're too easily influenced by environmental factors - like if someone dyes their hair, then they'll need to grow out the dyed parts before taking the test to get an accurate result, so this is never going to be practical for general medical uses.
Completely agree!!!
Out of all the tests Ive done and theres been plenty, the hair mineral analysis is really the only thing thats ever found anything - high Copper!!!
Its not quackery to me, my kinesiology and I didnt go looking for anything in particular but yes we did find high copper.
The problem was, the moly Zinc, Zinc, magnesium etc didnt do anything.
My kinesiologist is a very smart dude, its not like he suggested taking more copper, similar to that video recently posted, supposedly it is Zinc that ultimately should reduce copper???
On 11/10/2017 at 11:54 PM, guitarman01 said:Comments about the thread or comments on this thread? (meaning is he a member on here)
That was a good video, alot of information in a short amount of time. I like his chart.
Is that Accuity?
Yes
Just now, hatetane said:On 11/10/2017 at 11:54 PM, guitarman01 said:Comments about the thread or comments on this thread? (meaning is he a member on here)
That was a good video, alot of information in a short amount of time. I like his chart.
Is that Accuity?Yes - very clever and articulate.
On 2017-11-10 at 9:02 PM, Gabriel Roque said:Hello guys, I'm from Brazil and I had accutane (It is called Roacutan in Brazil).
It's been almost 3 years since I had it, and during all these 3 years I've been suffering from a strange body behavior.
At the beginning I was having a lot of sore throat, something that I was not supposed to have after a homeopathy treatment that I've had years ago.
It coincided with the beginning of my sexual life, and because of that I thought that I was contaminated with HIV. At the time I never had the courage to do the exams. The sore throat stopped after 1 year and half.This year I started to have strange problems with my body, like pain in the knees, skin disease like folliculitis, herpes zoster (a type of herpes that develops in people that had chickenpox back in the days, but I never had it, and I never contacted or had sex with someone with any of this, I can count my sex partners in my fingers), hair loss, molluscum contagiosum in my face (again, this disease is caused by low immunity, and is common in children and HIV victims).
Edit: Depression, vision problems too...
So, I decided to have exams, and the HIV test was negative. There is no scientific reason for my low immunity, I have a good feeding, I drink a cup of lemonade every day (it haves a lot of C Vitamin), I do not have HIV or any other disease that affects my immunity system, I walk a lot so there is no reason for my knees problems, I have hygiene so there is no reason for all these skin diseases.I had it all, and some more, but I never founded a logic reason for all this suffer. Then, today I decided to research about the accutane and the post treatment effects, I didn't found anything in portuguese, but thank god I founded this forum and this thread.
Can someone tell me if there is a way to have a "cure", or if there is a scientific document that can prove this so I can bring it to my doctors? Someone please help me, the language is making it tougher.
You seriously need to read the book Virus Mania and wake the @$(@ up.
On 11/11/2017 at 5:02 AM, Gabriel Roque said:Can someone tell me if there is a way to have a "cure", or if there is a scientific document that can prove this so I can bring it to my doctors? Someone please help me, the language is making it tougher.
There is no cure. What helped me the most was meditation and probiotics for the gastrointestinal issues.
This is a very good summary of the history of accutane and research about how it works:
If you go to pubmed and search for Isotretinoin you find all the scientific papers on it. The most recent I found was this:
Hi guys. I crashed hard again. Have more symptoms then ever. I realized I have been clinging to hope for too long. I don't want to fool myself anymore. Really, I've been getting worse and worse as time goes on with only week hints to what has helped me or what hasn't.
Been going through my things and I realized I used to be so full of life and love, so easy going and fun. I loved life. I actually told a friend once "I think it is impossible for me to be depressed". I long for those days.
I was such a good kid too. Eagle scout and honor student, and full of stupid jokes... I'm no longer that stupid lovely boy anymore. Accutane has change me, changed me while I was on it, and especially changed me when I came off it. Now I am a shell of myself, animated mostly by habit and coping mechanisms.
Joint/bone pain is about to put me in a wheel chair...
Saw a photo of me and my twin brother today, we look nothing alike anymore. in 7 months post tane, I have aged a decade. "Like a meth addict" as a friend put it.
Worst of all, the other day when I was real bad, I was looking at my mom and I realized I felt nothing. No love, just unbearable pain and anxiety. My own mother.
I fear it is to late for me. Maybe some people get better, maybe I will, maybe one day a cure will be found. But every night while I should be sleeping but can't, I hear trains going through town. More and more I am tempted to walk to the tracks and lay my neck on the line. I don't want to, especially during the holidays, I don't want to do that to my family, or even the train conductor. But I fear I have made my peace. Truth is, the Tanner I knew died a long time ago, and it seems unlikely he's coming back.
One day I'm probably going to end it. I try to fight it. For now I only live so that I can stay with my family for thanksgiving and Christmas. I want to spend the time I have left being the best son and brother I can be, with what little of me is left. Hopefully I can make it that long. But come another 'crash' like a just had, I may fail.
I want to ask, can I talk about suicide on this forum? If I fall weak one day and do end it, I want to know what write to my family. Maybe this isn't the place, but I don't know of many places to discuss this. If anyone has any advice and wisdom on what I should say to my family if the time comes, please. PM me maybe. I don't think I am in the right mental state to know these things right now. And hell, I'm still a kid, hardly even 20.
I just miss them so much already. These past days I can't feel love really anymore, but at least I can remember the feeling. Maybe I will have another upswing. They always seem to follow the downswings. At least for today I can cry.
keep fighting people. I wish you all the best.
Hi Togg, I am so sad to hear you feel like this.
Probably many would say you should not talk about suicide on this forum but I disagree.
I do think you need to be completely honest on this forum and with your family. Maybe they can research with you in order to find a natural
approach for climbing out of your hell hole.
Google vaxxed recoveries, gut healing and anything on recovering fromschizophrenia - youtube.
There is no cure to accutane side effects as yet but by looking after yourself and optimising your health with diet and good
supplements, you body just may heal itself. Don't expect to see results in the short-term because that just isn't going to happen.
We can't undo what has been done but by being honest and getting your story out there you might just save others from taking this drug.
I reiterate once again how important it is to report your adverse side effects. Don't just list them, make sure you
tell your story and that the powers that be listen.
This should be straightforward but it isn't because no one want to hear your story.
But by somehow getting you story out there - will probably be the only way you will ever get back at Roche.
Many others before you have not reported their side effects and that is why - sadly, this drug is still on the market and you were prescribed it.
Anyone who does not report their side effects is part of the problem and they support Roche is killing and destroying young people's lives.
Ignore other peoples test results, they are irrelevant to you and as yet we still have no conclusive results being reported other than low Vit D and low testosterone. Cortisol may be high and oestrogen either high or low.
So get your own testing done - anything and everything possible.
A CSF might be good - not heard about anyone having it before.
A Organic Acids Test [Edited link out] would be a good indicator of general health.
Raised homocysteine and depleted B12 are recognised to be caused by accutane(fact)
You should also get heavy metals test, Zinc and iodine tested.
These are to name but a few. Unfortunately you doctor won't know where to begin so it will be up to you to decide what tests are needed and to convince your doctor to help and pay yourself for whatever is not covered by NHS or insurance.
Get out of the house everyday, try and get your life back - don't let Roche take everything away from you.
Good luck Togg
https://www.fda.gov/safety/medwatch/howtoreport/ucm053074.htm
http://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk/
https://rxisk.org/experiencing-a-drug-side-effect
Also report to your local health authority including your prescribers and state that you want your report to be recorded and filed so that
it is accessible and on record.
Note, a young man killed his girlfriend and claimed that accutane made him psychotic. No one believed him and he is rotting in some jail now.
You must be able to see that if everyone reported thier side effects there would be records to fall back on and possible support for anyone who may need it.
More importantly it informs all future users of accuatane.
There are plenty of movie stars who took accutane Mathew m would be a good example he turned out alright in fact he was voted most handsome man alive .
You guys have to watch your diet and take better care of yourself and think positive. I have come to realize this thread is full of whiners , enjoy your life because you only have 1. Good luck to everyone. This is my last post on here.
This is just ridiculous. Shame on those encouraging suicide. How fucking dare you people. Like seriously? Get it together. Keep fighting! Guitarman and Truejustice have been fighting for how long and are STILL fighting. This is not the place for posts like that.. I'm sorry. But it just isn't.
23 minutes ago, Colinboko said:This is just ridiculous. Shame on those encouraging suicide. How fucking dare you people. Like seriously? Get it together. Keep fighting! Guitarman and Truejustice have been fighting for how long and are STILL fighting. This is not the place for posts like that.. I'm sorry. But it just isn't.
Here we go again - you have no idea what you are talking about.
I bet you are one of the ones who never reported your sides so you are as bad as Roche and you know it.
Truejustice, 20 years+ suffering but has never reported his sides and he couldn't be asked when I recently asked everyone to reported their sides to PRAC. Now at least sexual sides and diminished libido is going to be added to the PIL but if everyone had reported their sides 20+ years ago so many lives might have been saved and a lot less suffering might also have been avoided.
This drug causes suicidal ideation - fact, recognised by makers and prescribers so why shouldn't anyone who is experiencing that side effect be allowed to talk about it.
We are not talking just about the side effects making you feel suicidal - the drug itself make you feel suicidal.
The drug makes you have psychotic episodes - a bit more serious than joint pain don't you think?
So get off you high horse - you don't get to decide who come onto this thread for help and advice.
Unless you are high lighting the dangers of accutane and reporting your sides you are every bit as responsible d as Roche.
1 hour ago, hatetane said:Here we go again - you have no idea what you are talking about.
I bet you are one of the ones who never reported your sides so you are as bad as Roche and you know it.Truejustice, 20 years+ suffering but has never reported his sides and he couldn't be asked when I recently asked everyone to reported their sides to PRAC. Now at least sexual sides and diminished libido is going to be added to the PIL but if everyone had reported their sides 20+ years ago so many lives might have been saved and a lot less suffering might also have been avoided.
This drug causes suicidal ideation - fact, recognised by makers and prescribers so why shouldn't anyone who is experiencing that side effect be allowed to talk about it.
We are not talking just about the side effects making you feel suicidal - the drug itself make you feel suicidal.
The drug makes you have psychotic episodes - a bit more serious than joint pain don't you think?So get off you high horse - you don't get to decide who come onto this thread for help and advice.
Unless you are high lighting the dangers of accutane and reporting your sides you are every bit as responsible d as Roche.
You. Are. Not. A. Sufferer.
We have every right to be selfish and worry about helping ourselves before others.
"The drug itself makes you feel suicidal"
Are you stupid? Chemical depression is generally a side effect stemming froma root cause. Nothing just CAUSES depression. There's an imbalance somewhere in the body especially for those who didn't suffer from depression until accutane.
You oughta be ashamed of yourself for encouraging suicide. ESPECIALLY having a son. It's one thing to vent about feeling down but he literally said he was about to lay his head on a train track and you think we should support that?!
Have you lost your fucking mind?
5 hours ago, Colinboko said:This is just ridiculous. Shame on those encouraging suicide. How fucking dare you people. Like seriously? Get it together. Keep fighting! Guitarman and Truejustice have been fighting for how long and are STILL fighting. This is not the place for posts like that.. I'm sorry. But it just isn't.
Sorry, where does he encourage suicide??
He just saying to tell his story and to be honest about things - especially with family - thats not encouraging suicide??
He also pointed out some tests which might be beneficial yeah!!!
8 hours ago, Gladiatoro said:I have come to realize this thread is full of whiners
If thats in response to @ToggI think thats messed up.
I'll take honesty any day. This isnt whining or being soft, this is being real. Im sure other people have already been in this position or might find themselves in it someday, so lets not crucify them for wanting to have an outlet.
@ColinbokoI dont see anyone encouraging suicide. I think what she is trying to say is, if you're in a dark place and want to talk about it, you shouldnt feel like you cant bring it up on here, especially if you feel like you got no one else to talk to or who relates. If your on the edge, we are going to bring you back from that edge.
@ToggI think what you are feeling is the effect of something physical going on. Meaning its false. Its making your mind play tricks on you.
I dont think I speak for myself when I say all of these mental symptoms seem to accompany physical symptoms. Whether its a feeling of head pressure, loss of head pressure (light headedness) muscle weakness, feeling of a heartbeat in your head, ear fullness, stomach bloating. There is something else always going on.
That being said I would at least get a full hormone panel if you havent to see if you have some hormone imbalance messing with you. Like you said you could snap right out of it and then you would be pissed about ever feeling so down. When you said you felt so good it made you sad with the 5ar theory, id make sure you dont catch yourself getting overly emotional or too sad, because thats not good either.
I could segway this into hormone metabolism and how your body needs to clear hormones from the bloodstream and excrete them just like anything else (through the kidneys and liver), but I'll save that for now. Until we run out of ideas, Id say stay tuned.
24 minutes ago, Iamme. said:I wish we could have a dedicated forum where individual threads could be established for ideas, categorised into 10 or so broad topics, liver, brain, hormones, success stories, duds, scams etc.
That's kind of my point with the whole suicide ideation and stuff. I click on this blog to read and find research and medical information regarding our condition but unfortunately it's also in tandem with "goodbye letters" now. If you guys want to start a venting page, then by all means do it! You guys can bash Roche and discuss your personal feelings there. Propeciahelp is divided into so many different threads, so why can't ours? I understand it's hard! I'm living it! But I'm one of those people that can be easily brought down by one negative post, and while that's a personal problem I'm trying to work out; I believe we need to keep a positive vibe through the darkness as well. Like I said, I'm here for the research and to slowly contribute to the puzzle medically instead of thinking it's all doom and gloom from here. We could be cured of this tomorrow or in 10 years. But I will never stop believing that there is a way out of this. If science isn't there yet, it certainly can be in the next few years.
I can understand those responses, this thread becomes a place to vent with a very few select number of people who can understand.
/Personal would be the best place for this on a new website.
Does anyone what kind of work goes into building a forum based community website? I know you can make them for free but something like propeciahelp.com would be ideal.
3 hours ago, Iamme. said:I can understand those responses, this thread becomes a place to vent with a very few select number of people who can understand.
/Personal would be the best place for this on a new website.
Does anyone what kind of work goes into building a forum based community website? I know you can make them for free but something like propeciahelp.com would be ideal.
One of the guys who used to post a lot on here did setup lastingsides.com for these very reasons, but the issue is that this threads seems to be the main one that 'catches' people searching for accutane side effect issues, and the discussion just ends up taking place here. It's unfortunate as it just goes in circles as new joiners are not going to read the entire thread before posting.
I tend to spend most time on PFS, PSSD and CFS forums as those are more organised and there is a much more in depth discussion.
Has been suggested that the mods on here might be able to setup a sub-forum section on acne.org for dealing with accutane sides, that would be the best thing really.
Edit: In fact why can this not be done? Any mods on here? Lets make it happen!
Thanks guys. I appreciate your words. Like some of you have said, I think in a way I just want an outlet. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is also much more than that. This drug has made me not my self, and what it can do to my mind is nearly unbearable at times. Enough to really have serious questions on how to best leave this earth. But, I know part of why I posted was for therapeutic reasons. And also I realize that this is probably not the place to discuss the process of actually taking my life, and I don't want to get anyone in trouble. Thanks regardless.
I still think I have been bullshitting myself though. I have always been positive and optimistic, all my life, even post tane I have been positive, always trying to fix my problems instead letting shit hit the fan. But my posts on this site were grasping for hope, I think I have been looking for anything to keep me going. So much so that to even lie to myself in a way, that I was getting better, feeling good even. I realized this the other day when I was going through my stuff. Even my best days this last month probably weren't better than what I had even while I was still on tane.
I'm really thinking about telling my story somewhere to warn people though. Gonna start here with my nightmare of symptoms, then hit up more of Hatetanes links.
So heres why my days are numbered. It's not the psychosis, not the depression, not the anhedonia. It's not the insomnia, not the headaches. It's not the tinnitus, the joint pain, not the ageing face and skin. It's definitely not the ed and non existent libido, I would live with those forever if I could trade all of my other symptoms for just those two. All these symptoms and more I have are terrible, but I do painstakingly live on with them.
It's when the ungodly anxiety hits that makes me want death. I don't say that lightly. And it is not really anxiety, or atleast very different from any anxiety I have ever felt. The best way I can describe this symptom, is a burning pain all through your blood. Like your bloods on fire. It's worst in your head, comes with debilitating derealization, makes you understand what insanity is. Always happens for a few days when I 'crash'. When I do sleep, I have nightmares of this one.
How do we convince people of this guys? So many people just think were crazy. I even tried to deny it myself when I first came of tane, I thought these crazy people were having themselves a goose chase. But as time went on I got more and more of the post tane sides, sides that I didn't even know existed until I got them. People will point to studies claiming that these sides are no more prevalent on accutane than in the general pop. Even doctors do. They don't understand the nuances of the situation that clouds studies.
Unfortunately I am already doing alot of the things you guys recommend. I've done several water fasts, I eat a fruit and vegetable rich low carb diet, I lift weights and run. I have had hormones tested, I have been in treatment by several doctors for sleep. And well I can go on.
I know part of the reason I'm posting again is because, like some bastard has mentioned, I'm whining. It's nice though to write this. And you know what? If there was anything in my life to whine about, it would be this.
I don't expect anyone to have a response. Like I said last time, I'll keep trying. Maybe I'll get better, maybe you will, maybe this disease will be figured out soon.
1 hour ago, Togg said:Thanks guys. I appreciate your words. Like some of you have said, I think in a way I just want an outlet. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is also much more than that. This drug has made me not my self, and what it can do to my mind is nearly unbearable at times. Enough to really have serious questions on how to best leave this earth. But, I know part of why I posted was for therapeutic reasons. And also I realize that this is probably not the place to discuss the process of actually taking my life, and I don't want to get anyone in trouble. Thanks regardless.
I still think I have been bullshitting myself though. I have always been positive and optimistic, all my life, even post tane I have been positive, always trying to fix my problems instead letting shit hit the fan. But my posts on this site were grasping for hope, I think I have been looking for anything to keep me going. So much so that to even lie to myself in a way, that I was getting better, feeling good even. I realized this the other day when I was going through my stuff. Even my best days this last month probably weren't better than what I had even while I was still on tane.
I'm really thinking about telling my story somewhere to warn people though. Gonna start here with my nightmare of symptoms, then hit up more of Hatetanes links.
So heres why my days are numbered. It's not the psychosis, not the depression, not the anhedonia. It's not the insomnia, not the headaches. It's not the tinnitus, the joint pain, not the ageing face and skin. It's definitely not the ed and non existent libido, I would live with those forever if I could trade all of my other symptoms for just those two. All these symptoms and more I have are terrible, but I do painstakingly live on with them.
It's when the ungodly anxiety hits that makes me want death. I don't say that lightly. And it is not really anxiety, or atleast very different from any anxiety I have ever felt. The best way I can describe this symptom, is a burning pain all through your blood. Like your bloods on fire. It's worst in your head, comes with debilitating derealization, makes you understand what insanity is. Always happens for a few days when I 'crash'. When I do sleep, I have nightmares of this one.
How do we convince people of this guys? So many people just think were crazy. I even tried to deny it myself when I first came of tane, I thought these crazy people were having themselves a goose chase. But as time went on I got more and more of the post tane sides, sides that I didn't even know existed until I got them. People will point to studies claiming that these sides are no more prevalent on accutane than in the general pop. Even doctors do. They don't understand the nuances of the situation that clouds studies.
Unfortunately I am already doing alot of the things you guys recommend. I've done several water fasts, I eat a fruit and vegetable rich low carb diet, I lift weights and run. I have had hormones tested, I have been in treatment by several doctors for sleep. And well I can go on.
I know part of the reason I'm posting again is because, like some bastard has mentioned, I'm whining. It's nice though to write this. And you know what? If there was anything in my life to whine about, it would be this.
I don't expect anyone to have a response. Like I said last time, I'll keep trying. Maybe I'll get better, maybe you will, maybe this disease will be figured out soon.
Hi Togg, thanks for your honesty. If everyone were to present their story like this and send it to me - I would print them all off and start sharing them with anyone I could in order to raise awareness and get some support.
Please do take the time to report your sides on the links I provided.
It sounds horrific what you are going through and I wish I had the answers for you.
How long are you post accutane?
Time for many is certainly a good healer - maybe not completely but definitely the mental sides seem to ease with time.
The most important thing is that you put yourself in a safe environment whilst you are so vulnerable.
The best I can suggest for this is to speak to your parents and get them to protect you in the short term.
You are obviously pro-active which is great.
I would hate to see any of you guys go on anti depressants but if you do make sure you do your research and only take the safest ones
possible - if there is such a thing. I know B3 (Niacinamide) is meant to be good for depression. It is also meant to help with ED.
PM me anytime you need to and I will be very happy to give you my email address.
Togg - I have a lot of time for you because despite mentioning suicide you have a lot of positivity and you want to help others. You also want to warn
others of the dangers which many on here will not take the time to do.
I really appreciate that.
Keep fighting and look at the auto immune recoveries that I mentioned.
Stay safe
2 hours ago, hatetane said:
Togg,
Reading your post resignates deeply with me as I experience all of the symptoms that you speak of except for the anxiety component.
4 hours ago, Togg said:Thanks guys. I appreciate your words. Like some of you have said, I think in a way I just want an outlet. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is also much more than that. This drug has made me not my self, and what it can do to my mind is nearly unbearable at times. Enough to really have serious questions on how to best leave this earth. But, I know part of why I posted was for therapeutic reasons. And also I realize that this is probably not the place to discuss the process of actually taking my life, and I don't want to get anyone in trouble. Thanks regardless.
I still think I have been bullshitting myself though. I have always been positive and optimistic, all my life, even post tane I have been positive, always trying to fix my problems instead letting shit hit the fan. But my posts on this site were grasping for hope, I think I have been looking for anything to keep me going. So much so that to even lie to myself in a way, that I was getting better, feeling good even. I realized this the other day when I was going through my stuff. Even my best days this last month probably weren't better than what I had even while I was still on tane.
I'm really thinking about telling my story somewhere to warn people though. Gonna start here with my nightmare of symptoms, then hit up more of Hatetanes links.
So heres why my days are numbered. It's not the psychosis, not the depression, not the anhedonia. It's not the insomnia, not the headaches. It's not the tinnitus, the joint pain, not the ageing face and skin. It's definitely not the ed and non existent libido, I would live with those forever if I could trade all of my other symptoms for just those two. All these symptoms and more I have are terrible, but I do painstakingly live on with them.
It's when the ungodly anxiety hits that makes me want death. I don't say that lightly. And it is not really anxiety, or atleast very different from any anxiety I have ever felt. The best way I can describe this symptom, is a burning pain all through your blood. Like your bloods on fire. It's worst in your head, comes with debilitating derealization, makes you understand what insanity is. Always happens for a few days when I 'crash'. When I do sleep, I have nightmares of this one.
How do we convince people of this guys? So many people just think were crazy. I even tried to deny it myself when I first came of tane, I thought these crazy people were having themselves a goose chase. But as time went on I got more and more of the post tane sides, sides that I didn't even know existed until I got them. People will point to studies claiming that these sides are no more prevalent on accutane than in the general pop. Even doctors do. They don't understand the nuances of the situation that clouds studies.
Unfortunately I am already doing alot of the things you guys recommend. I've done several water fasts, I eat a fruit and vegetable rich low carb diet, I lift weights and run. I have had hormones tested, I have been in treatment by several doctors for sleep. And well I can go on.
I know part of the reason I'm posting again is because, like some bastard has mentioned, I'm whining. It's nice though to write this. And you know what? If there was anything in my life to whine about, it would be this.
I don't expect anyone to have a response. Like I said last time, I'll keep trying. Maybe I'll get better, maybe you will, maybe this disease will be figured out soon.