My thing with Rob Pattinson is that he can't do a damn American accent!
Seriously, he sounds like he has a speech impediment in Twilight. Especially his first "hello" to her. I nearly died laughing the first time I saw it.
I really need to get together a Twilight drinking game. Once I can drink again, that is.
@keepsmilingthrough: recalcitrant is a good word too. It was stuck in my head while I was doing the dishes the other day.
@fashionjunkie: Poor Dwight. If he never killed Angela's cat, she probably would never have started dating Andy.
@prettyspotty: I'm liking this smack talk.
DAY TWELVE:
In addition to the peeling, the burning, the dry lips, the aching joints and the Mines of Moria in my nose, I have another ailment to add to the list: fatigue. Massive fatigue. So massive that it took me twenty minutes to haul my carcass out of bed this morning and figure out how to brush my teeth. Not that I'm complaining. I sort of like the side effects. It means that this drug is working.
Onto my skin: the two cysts on my cheeks went down, but there is another forming on my temple, making it rather hard to rest my head on my desk in Philosophy for a brief nap. One super-amazing thing: the little zits that were on my upper lip giving me the oh-so-sexy pimple moustache have disappeared. Just poof! I thought that that section of my face would be breaking out to shit during the course, since besides the cysts, they were the most persistent of my acne, but it's been clear there since Thursday night. Very nice. We'll see if this trend continues. Also, the blackheads on my nose are beginning to push themselves up so my nose is all bumpy now and I can't stop running my fingers over it.
(This next part is long a that's what she said a and isn't acne related in the least, so if you have pressing matters at hand to do, I suggest you do them instead. This next bit would probably make a nice bedtime story.)
It was definitely another freakishly weird day, even to my standards. It all started on my way back to Stalin's place. I boarded the bus, which is always jammed to maximum capacity with college and university students, so of course I ended up crammed behind where the back doors of the bus are. As I'm standing there, bored out of my mind and unable to wait until I'm off this hot, smelly bus full of people, I get the feeling that I'm being watched. I look around and, sure enough, I see this extremely creepy-looking guy staring at me. And by creepy, I mean that there wasn't just one particular thing that made him creepy, he was just icky overall. He had these beady little shit-brown eyes that were slightly dead looking, mud-blond hair, big, white Chicklet teeth and gold hoops in his ears. Of course, in that span of two seconds I looked him over, I had already dubbed him aoeGeneral Icky Guy.a
Needless to say, I avoided all eye contact with said ick for roughly 99% of the remainder of the bus ride. Then, just as I can see my stop approaching, I hear a police siren and automatically go to look for where it is, making the mistake of looking directly at General Icky Guy, who was still looking at me. Although, he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at my chest. Perhaps feeling my steely gaze on him, he looked up at me with his shit-coloured eyes and said aoeOh a I wasn't doing thata (raises eyebrows pervertedly) aoeI was trying to read your shirt.a
Now, of course, I'm confused, having no clue what shirt I dragged over my body this morning, so I looked down. It's a System of a Down shirt, although the band name is spelt out in jellybeans, thus making it rather hard to decipher. So, trying not to be a total bitch, I say, aoeOh a it says System of a Down. In jellybeans.a And then the bus stop came and I practically tumbled out of the thing and hauled ass to my next bus stop. Of course, the bus wasn't going to come for another fifteen minutes, and as I'm standing there, I hear a generally-icky voice say to me, aoeHey a I came up with a nickname for you.a Spinning around, my eyes wide with fear, I see that General Icky Guy also is using this bus stop. Ignoring my disgusted face, he pushes on with, aoeMy nickname for you is Jellybean Girl.a
Ooh. Wow. How original. I'm so impressed I can barely contain myself. Pervert. Luckily right then, a bus pulled up to the stop and, even though it wasn't my bus, I got on it anyways to avoid General Icky. Fun times.
However, this tale is not complete yet. Remember me telling you that I'm very tired today? Well, after I got on the right bus to get me to my final destination, I promptly fell asleep. And managed to miss my stop. So, of course, you can see my panic and confusion when I jolted awake and it was dark out and I was on my way to some little sub-district an hour out of the city. Yes a not terrifying at all. So, I waited until the bus stopped somewhere in the general aoedowntowna area of this place, hopped off, looked at the schedule and saw that the next bus that went back to where I had to be wouldn't come for another hour. An hour?! A whole fucking hour!! Needless to say, I was rather upset. Stuck out in this strange district at 6:30 at night where it's dark and cold and most stores were closed.
So a that's my day in a nutshell. I got back to Stalin's place at roughly 8:30 at night. At least I didn't arrive in a body bag.
Wow.. what an awful/eventful day.
I hate being approached by "icky" people, especially when alone. I feel like I'm going to be the next missing girl all over the Nancy Grace Show. New rule you should follow when in public spaces: no clothing with anything written on it. But hey, at least you didn't have "Juicy" or "Rockstar" written across your ass 
Hope tomorrow's better.
strangest word.. hrmmm.. well there's the obvious ones like booger.. and spleen is a quality word as well. i like the word 'wonky.' and 'tweak.' and UNITARD! it sounds like it should mean a retarded unicorn, but nope, its a onesie for grownups!
as for robert pattinson, he isn't really that attractive, but his role as a vampire makes him more desirable (in theory at least) because he's 'special' and superhuman. also, he represents danger and a sort of strange hungry attraction (sucking blood seems kind of.. sexual.) anyway, i think he makes a sexy vampire, but on interviews hes a bit dim (i saw him on Ellen.. lol.)
yup, i am HOOKED UP when it comes to berets. i have stacks and stacks of them.
by the way, your skin is looking really good already! can't wait to see it when you're done.
i'm too lazy/ not brave enough to post pictures of me without makeup, since i can barely look at myself that way.
I cant stop laughing about the retarted unicorn! I also agree that sucking blood is very sexual...I think when my husband gets home I will make him start feeding on me sorta like in True Blood! Oh and I will also have him bit pillows and snap the headboard into pieces! 
So where you riding the short bus or something?????? LOL, You should have gotten General Icky's #, gave him a call and see what may have developed! He may have a huge schmekel and now you will never know. The creepy icky guys usually do...maybe you will run into him again and you can make things right! Keep me posted and good luck 
I was wondering how I missed all of this, then I realized that I posted on my own log last night, then promptly dozed off whilst reading an essay about Gender Criticism. Look at the type of people you attract to your log. I'm like General Icky, but female.
I'm not going to get too involved in the Edgar (or whatever his name is) conversation except to say that the only sexual attraction I could understand anyone feeling towards him must stem from his being a vampire. I mean, just look at him. Not only is he not attractive, but he's horribly unattractive.
Your skin is looking great, and you're still UBER adorable. AAHHHH! Especially when you wear your jellybean-texted shirts.
I was wondering how I missed all of this, then I realized that I posted on my own log last night, then promptly dozed off whilst reading an essay about Gender Criticism. Look at the type of people you attract to your log.
I'm not going to get too involved in the Edgar (or whatever his name is) conversation except to say that the only sexual attraction I could understand anyone feeling towards him must stem from his being a vampire. I mean, just look at him. Not only is he not attractive, but he's horribly unattractive.
Your skin is looking great, and you're still UBER adorable. AAHHHH! Especially when you wear your jellybean-texted shirts.
Pft. Please, you're nothing like General Icky. Don't insult yourself like that. For one, your not creepy and for two, you're attractive, two qualities he did NOT possess.
So where you riding the short bus or something?????? LOL, You should have gotten General Icky's #, gave him a call and see what may have developed! He may have a huge schmekel and now you will never know. The creepy icky guys usually do...maybe you will run into him again and you can make things right! Keep me posted and good luck
Yes, the only problem there would be that I would not let him touch me with a ten foot poll. Knowing my luck, I'll see him everyday now.
ANYWAYS - I finally got around to buying some of that shea butter you suggested online. When I saw it was like, two pounds or whatever I had a sudden image of being in a bathtub surrounded by tonnes and tonnes of it. I dunno. Weird visual.
Kernel-
I think your posts are f'ing hilarious..definately second the freelance writer thing! Just popped Day 7's pill...feeling great 'cept for tension in my neck....weird or not Im not sure.
Still wondering why your coffee place smells like meat....LOL
Cool sounding word...paradigm
So where you riding the short bus or something?????? LOL, You should have gotten General Icky's #, gave him a call and see what may have developed! He may have a huge schmekel and now you will never know. The creepy icky guys usually do...maybe you will run into him again and you can make things right! Keep me posted and good luck
Yes, the only problem there would be that I would not let him touch me with a ten foot poll. Knowing my luck, I'll see him everyday now.
ANYWAYS - I finally got around to buying some of that shea butter you suggested online. When I saw it was like, two pounds or whatever I had a sudden image of being in a bathtub surrounded by tonnes and tonnes of it. I dunno. Weird visual.
Awesome! I am glad you are getting some! It may smell a little funky at first but once it is soaked into your skin the smell goes away...Did you go to amazon for it? Anywho mine came in like chunks of it and I had to smoosh it in a little bowl to make some soft enough to use..but I have been using it on my entire body..face..hair and lips at night time and my skin is so freaking soft. I have no flaking skin AT ALL! I hope ya like it despite the smell some people complain about!
I must say you have an interesting and unique way of writing as well! And looking great! Did you ever consider that those sirens you heard were in fact searching for Gen. Icky? And that's why he got off the bus with you? And now you're his sponsor to get off drugs?
Good luck with that.
I must say you have an interesting and unique way of writing as well! And looking great! Did you ever consider that those sirens you heard were in fact searching for Gen. Icky? And that's why he got off the bus with you? And now you're his sponsor to get off drugs?
Good luck with that.
Gov't Guy....I think you hit the nail on the head with that one! LMFAO
I must say you have an interesting and unique way of writing as well! And looking great! Did you ever consider that those sirens you heard were in fact searching for Gen. Icky? And that's why he got off the bus with you? And now you're his sponsor to get off drugs?
Good luck with that.
Actually, I was thinking that as well. Maybe he just needed a place to hide out while the cops were looking for him?
@prettyspotty: Yup, I got my butter from amazon. Thanks for the tips on how to "de-chunkify" it.
DAY FOURTEEN:
Is it just me, or do you sometimes wake up, look at your eyebrows, and think, What the fuck? They're like two caterpillars, except that one of them is lying flat and the other is in mid-squirm. Sometimes I'm tempted to shave them off and draw them on, but then I remembered what Gwen Stefani looked like when she did THAT and quickly reconsider.
In other completely unrelated news, I found out today that my grandfather is half-Japanese. As my mother so eloquently put it, Well, that would explain your tiny frame and non-existent ass.
My hair is dry. Which is very nice, considering it was so greasy before that it would literally disgust me. I have gone four days without washing it. I could probably go more than a week, but it's already starting to get sort of flat-ish on top and really staticky on the bottom, especially when I straighten it and then give myself shocks. But it is in no way greasy, or even that smelly.
However, it's already been two weeks! I can't believe how much progress my skin has been making. I no longer have zits on my upper lip, my forehead is smooth and there's only two on my chin right now. That's right TWO. My cheeks and jaw line are another story entirely, riddled with blackheads and cysts and red/pock marks, but at least the T-zone is looking good.
I also haven't mentioned Stalin much on here recently. Well, he made news today. I get to his house, no one else is there but him and he's on his computer and I'm fucking STARVING, having only eaten a rather squished Nutrigrain bar that I found at the bottom of my backpack when I failed to remember to pack a lunch today. So I start pouring a bowl of cereal and he comes hobbling out of his cave at the end of the hall and starts hissing at me, Why are you pouring that so loudly? Now, at first I thought he was joking and said this, but I should have known better since a dung beetle has a better sense of humour that than man. He starts going off with, No, I'm not kidding! You have to keep it down! Yada, yada, yada... Oh my fucking god. What crawled up this man's ass and died? I'm just pouring a bowl of cereal, dickweed, it's not like a started up a jackhammer in the middle of your kitchen. So, of course, I'm on the verge of tears by this guerrilla-warfare-type attack and then he starts apologizing profusely, but I suspect that that was only because he didn't want me telling me parents what an unreasonable asshole he is.
So, here I am in my room with a bowl of cereal with no milk. I haven't left my room in three hours and am going to the bar (no drinks, or course) with my cousin in thirty minutes, so maybe I can just avoid Stalin and his psychosis for the rest of the day. Although, I should have seen this coming, since he frequently yells at his dog for eating too loudly when he's trying to watch TV and dripping water from her water bowl onto the hardwood floor it's resting on.
There. Now I feel better.
Onwards.
Is there no hope of getting out of there anytime soon?? Sounds horrible. I don't understand how you can pour cereal "loudly". Are you supposed to pick each flake out of the box and gently place it in the bowl? Of course not, because the sound your hand makes going into the bag would create too much "crinkling" noise. Goodluck freakin' luck.
One day, I'll force myself to read one of your posts in FULL! I'm sure it's full of whimsical, well articulated tales & everyday happenings! It'll be like eating pringles- wont be able to stop reading them once I start. Do pringles even exist in America? You're missing out if you don't have 'em. Well actually you're not they're terrible but it's definately an experience eating a whole packet when recovering from a hangover.
I think what I'm trying to say is good luck!
One day, I'll force myself to read one of your posts in FULL! I'm sure it's full of whimsical, well articulated tales & everyday happenings! It'll be like eating pringles- wont be able to stop reading them once I start. Do pringles even exist in America? You're missing out if you don't have 'em. Well actually you're not they're terrible but it's definately an experience eating a whole packet when recovering from a hangover.I think what I'm trying to say is good luck!
Yes! One day I WILL have you hooked. I'm in Canada, actually, and yes, we do have pringles up here (as well as polar bears, although I have yet to see one.)
Oh my lord, I am sorry about Stalin. i really hope you manage to laugh at his malevolent ways as much as i do reading about them. it sounds hard though.. LOL about General Icky too. his friends are quite common in the NY subways, so i know the feeling. Actually, i know a specific icky, they're even WORSE!!!
@missmooshoo: Bah. I laugh at his ways now, but at the time, its alarming. Sort of like everything in my life. Sorry to hear that you also have Icky's; they're the most uncomfortable thing ever and I don't wish them upon anyone.
@Aerithstrife: HELL YEAH! FOUR MEDALS IN ONE DAY! 
!!!!!!!!!! I think I'm going to be having Olympic withdrawals when they're done. As for the fish oil: you mean there's something that will make me feel like I'm not about to crack it roughly forty pieces anytime I so much as blink? Bring it on!
Yeah for sure....grab some fish oil, I recommend Nutrasea by Ascenta. If I was you I would go with the oil and not the gel caps, it's cheaper in the end. I take 6g, but that's quite a bit, so start at maybe 2 or 3g a day. I have no problem taking the oil...but some people don't like it.
Most health food stores have it!
You could also add glucosamine as well.
Oh Canada, how I love this big beautiful country!!!
DAY FIFTEEN:
Either I am having the WORST PMS episode of my life or I am having those irrational accutane anger issues. First off, I'm still bitter (okay, seething) over Stalin's outburst yesterday over my pouring a bowl of cereal too loudly, so that's probably a nice catalyst to it all. I refuse to talk to him or even make eye contact because he's such a huge piece of shit. I woke up with a zit INSIDE my nostril, of all things. Bloody hell. Then, there was a cyst on my jaw that had something that looked like a head, but when I squeezed it, the only thing that happened was that I felt like passing out. Now it's throbbing.
Then, my first bus was late and it was RAINING today and then in Anthropology, this guy was sitting in front of me with huge hair that blocked off half the chalkboard at any given time. Now, this guy looks a little like a Viking crossed with one of my cousins. I used to call him aoeDemented Charliea but it was too long, so I have just abbreviated it to aoeDimencea. And he's got one of those beards that just goes on the jawline and no where else. So, I kept making little paper balls and flicking them into Dimence's frizzy hair so they would stick for revenge for blocking my view. Then, at the cafeteria, they only had orange juice. Now, let me explain that I have this weird thing where I mix water into my juice so it's half and half, but the fucking cafeteria didn't have any cups that I could pour my juice into to make my special blend, but I bought the juice anyways and chugged it all aggressively. Now, why I didn't just give up on the orange juice and just buy a coffee or something is beyond me, but NOOOOO a I just had to have the orange juice.
Of course, there was the bus ride home. There was some little kid looking at me, so I waved to him and then his father tells me, aoeDon't you look at my son.a So, I told him to go and fuck himself. When I got back to Stalin's, I noticed this aloe vera plant that's in my bathroom that I failed to notice/water until now, so I'm pretty sure I killed it. Observing its wilted pathetic leaves, I burst into tears because I am a murderer.
MEN IF YOU'RE READING THIS: If you want to know why women are so irrational during their period, here's the answer:Because we can. It makes us feel better. And most of the time, we know we're being irrational, but we can't stop. And a word of advice - do NOT ask us this while we're on our period, or else you're apt to get punched out.
So a I'm currently blasting the angriest most aggressive scream-filled music I have on my iPod and strangely enough it's calmed me down. Even though I'm probably going to go deaf from it.
Of course, now when I write this all out, it's hilarious, but at the time, it seemed like it was the WORST thing in the world to happen to me up to that point.