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YEah i was sort of that person once with lots of bad influences and doing alot of stupid dangerous stuff. But i had what catholics call Metanoia which basically means metamorphasis. And it changed my life to where i couldn't have friends that would lead me down that path. So i told them that i had to be this person and i lost almost all of my friends. Luckily i was now so content with myself that it didnt destroy me and i made new friends, ones that i could be proud to surround myself. And after 3 years of continuous self reform I arrive at where i am now. I can say that if i hadn't changed my life, had kept the popularity, had kept my chemical happyness I wouldnt have been able to handle what i am going through now. Honestly it probably save my life.
But u was I was a nerd all along but i had to keep it hidden along with many parts of myself to maintain the image that i projected to that certain group of people.
Wow, I have enormous respect for you. I don't get cystic acne but I've got little red bumps all over where I shave and it's extremely frustrating to have had these for approx. 3 years now as well as mild/moderate acne for 5 yrs and not been able to find a product that helps with them. I was feeling really down and after I read your posts I finally joined acne.org made a post about my situation seeking some help and I just had to tell you that you're awesome.
Thanks, and welcome my friend to a world of support. You will find comfort here that will surpass your wildest expectations. We're all in the same boat no matter how little or how great. Together even the weary are strong. Together even the fearful are brave. Together WE ARE THE ORG!
And now i thought i would give an update for once, because after all this is an Accutane Log even if i practically never talk about my accutane experience. I'm feeling good about my progress so far. Most of my cysts have either gone away or moved from deep to shallow. So they dont hurt as much as they used to. I have been noticing that i have been losing more beard hair than usually but im not sure if thats because of accutane because ive never had my beard this long. I have to take my dose (20 mg Sotret) every other day so i can stretch my perscription to my next derm appointment. I dont know if that will affect my results, but ill keep yall informed.
Quote of The Day
Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,--'Wait and hope'.
A little something something from my favorite classic literature novel. The Count of Monte Cristo. LATERS
I read your log. I just want to let you know that accutane rocks! I am completely cleared of cystic acne after 25 years. No more pain and disfigurement. No more treatments of any kind.
I've been off of accutane since March and not one cyst.
I think accutane works on our type of acne the best. Or, it may just be the dramatic difference. Whatever the case, I see more cystic acne people on this board that have success with accutane than any other type of acne.
Good luck. Your skin will catch up to your spirit in a few short months. It's just lagging behind right now. And, even though you seem to be taking this painful and disfiguring disease in stride, you will LOVE having your pretty face back. Trust me. I hid my acne behind sarcasm and tight jeans. Well, I still love tight jeans but the sarcasm is long gone.
Platinum
Hello again and thanks for tuning in to todays broadcast. I know this is going to be disappointing to all of my lady fans (and some of my man fans), but i've not been able to procure a camera yet so the week one photos will have to be delayed until one is found. SOWIE 🙁As for the Secret O' Happiness Del Mateo its all a matter of perspective. Let me hit you with some knowledge.
1) I've talked about this in another post, but alas i am to lazy to go find it. I try to look at my acne in nuetral or postive terms. I'll be the first one to admit that there are some days to which I get frustrated beyond reason, but those are few and far between. The way I look at my acne is as an unvoluntary drastic personality reform. In my experience (which I'm not trying to force upon you) acne has made me who I am today. It has brought out many of greatest attributes, that otherwise would have lay dormant behind a pretty face. It has made me humble, non judgemental, and sympathetic. It also forced me to build my humor, and gave me determination to succeed beyond everyones expectations. In truth I respect my acne as two formidible opponents respect each other.
2) Alright this is one that even I have trouble with sometimes, but the rewards it yields are priceless. Dont let the mirror tell you who you are and what you look like, and dont let others tell you either. The most important opinion, in fact the only opinion who you should even give a damn about is your own, or if you subscribe to a higher power as I do you should care what they think (In my case mine is all forgiving and i was made in his image so i consider myself as an image of godliness, so ladies come to worship 😉 ) So back on topic ... If you can see yourself as how you wish you looked, then why cant you feel like you would if you actually physical looked that way. If you would be confident, and daring, and charming, then if you can truly see yourself that way those attributes will shine through anyways, because in truth they've always been there just waiting for you to set them free. People see what you show them. So show them what you want them to see.
3) Enjoy the world, and all the wonders that are presented to you every day. Watch the sunset and count the stars that follow, or the sunrise and welcome the first sunbeams of the day, put away the umbrella and walk in the rain, climb a tree and feel it sway ever so slightly in the wind. If you're constantly immersed in such beauty how can things be so bad.
Its a long and winding road out there people, and nobody ever said it would be easy, but in truth nothing worth getting has ever been easy to obtain. So live, love and never give up ..... and always always laugh as much as you can.
Wow!!!! I am truly speechless!!! You've gained an avid fan, and i will be following your progress regularly. You are incredibly inspiring. I was feeling like shit for 2 days, but after reading this, it is practically impossible for me not to see things from a brighter point of view.
Ok so i was walking to class today as usual, except today was overcast and dreary so my iconic giant $5 aviator glasses were .... a little superfluous. Anyways i was listening to my ipod, and a song came on that i hadn't listen to in a long time, and it made me smile (it was No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley). The kicker is that my ipod died right then, and that made me laugh, because little misfortunes like that tend to be humorous to me now a days. So smiled even wider, and a pair of girls walked by and thinking i was listening to music and unable to hear them one said to the other something to the tune of this "OMG!!! His face! How can he be smiling? I would cry." And it got me thinking that i totally forgot to divulge one major cornerstone of my sunny disposition. So i thought i would share, for anyone who wass interested or bored or hungry (its a little know fact that paper containing my words contain 12 essential vitamins and minerals, and even the rare and elusive 13th ones). So without further delay .....
Try and smile as much as you can to everyone you can. Not only will this cause chemical endophins, and such to cause happy feelings in yourself. More importantly it will affect others. By smiling despite having a social unnacceptable skin condition you can essentially liberate the people around you from their worries. It can cause the whole well if that person can smile with skin lesions then my fat ankles dont seems so terrible anymore. I find that seeing it this way lends a bit of honor to my situation. I take my misfortune and use it to better the people around me. It might not be honor that anyone but me will ever know but does that matter. I have made myself not Matt the acne sufferer, but Matt the Liberator of Worry.
Quote of the Day
Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.
Einstein was pretty logical wasn't he. Later peoples and remember Smile 
Wow, rcranger03, honestly you share the same thoughts as me. I had bad acne, my mom died, and i constantly got picked on, and my friends said why are you so happy and smiley, and I said because smiling can cure anyones bad day.
Oh and by the way No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley is my favorite song of his 
(Try listening to the live version, too, its even better!)
Ranger, you are a pimp, I wish I had your heart. I was on accutane last fall/winter and it obviously wasn't very fun. All i can tell you is use some sort of moisturizer to help the healing process. Unfortunately accutane causes scarring so just a warning man invest into some sort of cream. Im actually using a healing lotion call BioSkinCare which i wish i had known about when i was on tane. It is actually recommended for tane users since accutane slows the healing process. Just a fair warning because i have been depressed about my scars for a while and it takes a long time for them to heal.
Awesome I'm glad i could bring you fully into the fold. Now take that new bonafideness and start sharing, and recieving all the knowledge and support this place has to offer.
Also i was wondering if it was possible to drink too much water? I was nasty sick on Sunday, and started drinking ridiculous amounts of water. I lost the sickness but i have this ridiculous cough ever since. Like sometimes i'll go into these hacking fits and it will pull up this nasty greenish yellow mucus stuff. Anyways it helps combat the coughs to drink water, and i've been ridiculously thirsty laterly (possibly accutane side effect). So the last three days i've been drinking like 2 or 3 gallons of water a day. To put it simply my pee is so clear and pure that aquafina has contacted me about becoming a bottling source. I just want to know if drinking that much water can be harmful?
Quote of the Day
In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.
From the mind of Senor Cervantes. Don't we all find ourself battling windmills one time or another.
Oh and i saw my favorite twilight zone episode yesterday "The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street" awesome awesome episode capped off with my favorite monologue that Rod Serling ever gave. "The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs, and explosions, and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, ideas, predjudices, to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, predjudices can kill and suspicion can destroy. A thoughtless, freightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all it's own for the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is, is that these things can not be confined to the Twighlight Zone.a
Til another day my friends
Yes, it is definitely possible to drink too much water, but by your description of the amount of water you are drinking, it doesn't sound like you are at risk for water intoxication.
Here's a link to some info on water intoxication http://chemistry.about.com/cs/5/f/blwaterintox.htm
Thanks for all the info peoples yall are like my own personal Mythbusters. Knock on wood but i think im moving from active acne to needing to deal with red marks. So i especially wanted to get yalls advice on how to go about dealing with it. I've been to the other forums and read a bunch of their posts, but yall are my patrons so i thought i'd give yall a say. I need something cheap though right now i have $7 in my checking account, but more can procured for a noble cause. Just realize that I'm a college student living in a Resident Dorm so i dont really have all the amminities. Tank You
I know all yall have been clammoring for a second bank of pictures, and i do believe i have a date to give yall. September 25 should bring more pictures, bc i have to go home and do the derm truffle shuffle (Goonies reference HOLLA).
I'm taking my first collegiate test today in Intro Geology so wish me luck, or rather wish me an A or rather come and rough up my professor and tell him if he doesnt give me an A something bad will happen to his dog or rather become my professor and give me A's all the time or rather make me the professor ..... yeah i'm done now ...... or rather im finished or rather ........................
As for my byline, it may be in that song, but it originated in Oscar Wilde's "Lady Windemere's Fan"
Quote of the Day
aoeBut I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet; tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.a
Mr. Yeats with some beautiful prose. The way i see this is a plea from everyone to everyone, because we all tread on each others dreams.
Hope for a time when acne is a thing of history, hope for children and grandchildren that never feel its searing touch. I hope every day every waking moment, because If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
Good Morning and in case i dont see ya Good Afternoon Good Evening, and Good Night
Apparently saying "Knock on wood" doesnt actually work as well as actually doing it. I woke up this morning to a nice breakout of mostly little cysts and some reinflamation of some old ones.
My Horn's squeezed out another one, but with Oklahoma beating people by at least 50 every game. We better just beat rice by 150 so our margins can be the same for the Shoot Out.
Quote of the Day
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
George Elliot with one of my favorites for keeping my chin up. I know many of you have "lost" many precious years to this harsh condition, but aren't the most precious years the ones that have yet to come. I know its hard, but dont let it take more then you've already given to it.
Laters
I'm not going to lie Sunday was a wickedly hard day for me. A nice little surprise breakout that started out the weekend apexed, and alas painful and ugly acne may be, but reason to miss Sunday mass it is not. So i get all dressed up and head over to church, and find myself a nice end seat on a pew. A nice little family with a baby takes the pew directly in front of me and they kneel down to pray and let their baby look around and do its cute little baby thing. So then their little girl who had been fidgeting around pops up next to the baby who happened to be in a staring contest with me (I was winning I swear I could feel him about to blink) anyways in a very loud "its just between me and you but everyone else listen if they want" voice she turned to her mom and goes "Ewwwwwww whats wrong with his face mommy." Her mom turns and smiles a little half smirk at me and i shrug non chalantly because i dont really care. Then little miss fidget said "Mommy i dont like him make him go away." The mom turned to say something whether to apologize or ask me to leave, but i was already on the move. I found another end seat, but my thoughts were swimming. Had I really fallen so far. From a pretty decently good looking fellow if i do say myself to Mr. Scarelittlechildrenbylookingatthem in just one summer. Normally i would just blow it off, a manuever i've become very apt at, but it had come so unexpectantly in just about the only place where I let the armor down (to really get anything out of church you have to be open). It hit me hard, and was only the start of a plain awful day. Just one of those days that it seems like the whole world is out get you, or if not that then its just pretending like you dont exist. I know i preach this whole happy go lucky approach to acne survival, but this shows that at times im just as vulnerable as the person who posts about how acne is ruining their life. So i thought i'd share a little of that with you, because honestly in this new world of college, you guys are the only ones who have the faintest idea of who i am. I'm a very hard person to know, especially in person. You all have the benifit of reading my words of which im much more efficient in communicating than with speech.
Anyways i'm feeling much better now and my breakout is clearly on the decline. So that concludes the emotional part of our program. Consider yourself lucky because it doesnt happen very often. Usually only in very spirtual atmospheres (church, retreats, confession) and sometimes with familiy. I consider this a bridging experience because i consider you peoples my familiy in a way. Brothers and Sisters in Arms.
Quote of the Day
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross with words that made smile on a day where smiles were sadly lacking. Stay thirsty my friends, not for beer, but for life.
PS this is an amazing song Andrew bird and Nora O'Connor - Oh Sister (Bob Dylan Cover)
(((RCR)))
Hugs, not because I pity you, but because I relate. Kids are honest and sometimes the truth is not what we want to hear. They are raised in a society where beauty is emphasized above all else, and unfortunately our wicked little disease does not conform to that social norm.
Glad to hear you're keeping your chin up.
Well well its been a while for our standards. I take my last pill of perscription 1 tomorrow and head back home for the first time on tuesday for my derm appointment. And that means PICTURES!!!! 
The stuff on my cheeks is trying to go away, but the new battle front is the big squishies (Quarter sized) that is submarining my wild John The Baptist beard. Where they come up all the hair falls out and makes me Patchtastic. I did have a painful stretch yesterday were it felt like those scarab beetles were making munchies of my subdermis (My skin was so itchy it felt like it was crawling and it was quite painful too) I have had a wierd kind of pang in my lower abdomen (Below the ribcage but above the hips and little to the right side) It kinda feels like hunger but im not THAT food deprived, granted i am eating exceptionally less than i did at home during the summer due to finacial lacking. I dunno if i should mention it to the derm bc i really dont want to give him any reason to take me off.
Alright i'm off to watch Burn Notice, and in case ive never mentioned in im kind of a TV Series Glutton. Here's my lineup of shows that im going to try and fit in.
Prison Break (I liked the premier, especially the silky smooth Mahoney assassain move, William Fitchner has pretty much been a baller since Equilibrium)
Heroes (Last season ended pretty neatly, and yet left so many questions. I dont think i've ever hated a villian as much as Syler, or loved an asian as much as Hiro. Yatta my friends Yatta)
Lost (I've put my heart into every cuckoo for coaco puffs twist and turn for the entirety of the series, but Charlies death had to be the most contrived main character death ever. He could have had tea and crumpets before that place filled with water, and THEY HAD SCUBA TANKS. Sorry still frustrated about that, and Jacks impersonation of Grizzly Adams made me laugh in a confused way
Bones (That girl who does the facial reconstructions can reconstruct me whenever she wants, I love girls who are alot smarter than i am.)
House (Hugh Laurie's accent amazes me every time i hear it. Plus he is funny as hell, and i love seeing him verbally abuse his minions
Stargate Atlantis (They finally ended my favorite tv series Stargate SG1 last season, but Carter is on Atlantis and so is Kaylee from Firefly so i expect a money seaon for Atlantis)
Eureka (A town full of geniuses would be like eden for me. Plus with all the women being smarter than me ......)
Burn Notice (Its like bond, but every week, with more humor, Alcoholic Bruce Campbell, and do it yourself instructions) Edit: Season Ended Tonight bummer
Quote of the Day
Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
Jesse Jackson. It doesnt really need explaining. Laters
I think you're the best log ever .... if log means person 
All done with the first box 30 pills 600 mg of Sotret. Does the perscription usually get raised after the first month? My derm hasn't revealed his plans to me.
I'm looking for a decisive win from the Horns for once, seeing as Rice hasnt been us in the last 13 years and havent beat us in Austin since long before i was born. Also GO ALABAMA! GO SOUTH CAROLINA! GO KENTUCKY!
Thats all for today folks. I'm gonna go make my famous Bacon Ranch Hoagie (real bacon ranch dressing chopped black olives deli sliced colby jack cheese hard salami, and pastrami on toasted wheat bun ..... its what heaven is made of). Laters
Quote of the Day
At the timberline where the storms strike with the most fury, the sturdiest trees are found.