Oh I am literally for the past three weeks I've been up at 6 every morning (including weekends) for work, been going out every night and even had two auditions (which mean I may be moving to tokyo next year! Fingers crossed....eep!)

Although this has come with a cost. I've been so ill the past two days, blech! But thankfully I'm not working this week so it gives me time to recover.

Skin wise... Ok! Some days I'll be particularly red, but overall I'm happy. I still have these two tiny, but very red, bumps on the right side of my face and I don't think they'll go until I stop. But I just put on literaly two specs of concealer stick and it looks perfect! My friend even said to me the other day that I didn't have a speck on my skin!

However.. I have come up in a really really sore, red lump under my chin. I don't think it's a spot because I never break out under my chin, but instead think it's an ingrown (even though I shave with an electric) or a bite. So.. It's good it's not a spot, but it's so red and sore it's surely going to leave a mark which sucks because they take so long to go away... But again, i'm not working this week so it gives it time to heal.

Overall, so so so much more positive. My derm said I will be on for one more month, but I'm going to push for an extra -- I think because I've literally had NO side effects that it's worth getting as much in my system as possible... And I'm scared to come off :S hehe. Has anyone else been scared to come off? I think I'd easily stay on this forever if I could xD

EDIT: PIctures are massive xD I apologise!

So! It's been a long long time since I posted here, and I know that when I started accutane I read so many logs which just ended so abruptly and I never got to see the final result -- So I owe it to everyone else to finish it up!

I'm done on Accutane! I was on the drug for 7 months, the first two at 20mg and the rest at 40mg. Basic overview: My initial breakout was quite bad, and the hyperpigmentation from which stuck around for the entire course. I stopped getting massive spots at the 5 month mark, but would always get a tiny insignificant pimple here or there, as well as the occasional non-inflammatory blocked pore.

I was told by my derm not to moisturize, so I never did. Thankfully I didn't get too dry. In fact, I had no side effects really whatsoever! I'm a dancer and dance teacher and was able to continue dancing through the course with only ever so minimal back pain. I wore contact lenses every day and, although my eyes are definately a bit more blood-shot, they were not irritated or overaly dry. No hair loss. One nose bleed. Dry lips throughout the course, however, but manageable with aquaphor and chapstick. I even went on holiday to Florida during the summer and forgot to apply sunscreen multiple times...and didn't even get burnt in the slightest!

Here are some pictures!

These first ones were taken before I even knew accutane existed at about November 2014. My seb derm on my face had really flared up. I was extremely red and my face was just SO irritated. I broke out in quite a few spots, and you probably can't see, but these were all over my body and chest/back as well (even my bottom!) I tried everything...so many creams, lotions, moisturizers, topicals...nothing worked, it just got more and more irritated. I was living in France at the time, and it was particularly difficult to not have easy access to the doctors or hospitals due to minimal insurance.

At first I believed it was an allergy to something, but now I personally believe that massive stress was my trigger

Just before christmas 2014 I moved back home, and my skin continued to deteriorate. The redness became quite prominant and I was waking up daily with small, but very red spots all over my chest, neck, back, face, bum and arms. At this point I was getting very very depressed... I was embarrassed to leave the house (and actually didn't leave the house properly and consistantly for 5 months). Thankfully I have an incredibly supportive family who were with me through thick and thin, but this was a horrible time... my career was falling apart, my social life was falling apart... I was crying every day and every night, and contemplated suicide many times.

I was referred to a dermatologist who promptly put me on Accutane. She said that depression is a side effect, but she wasn't going to stand by and let me get even more upset by my acne -- so she also made me see a psychiatrist once a month to moniter me mentally, and I also undertook cognitive behavioural therapy.

As I said my initial breakout was quite sore, and my face, back and chest were the worst effected (my arms and forehead cleared up relatively quickly within the first two months):

It was around month 5 where I stopped breaking out, but still was very red and irritated. I took this moment to go and buy makeup -- and I can't thank it enough. Guys...please don't be ashamed to wear makeup. If it wasn't for makeup I wouldn't have left the house even then. I highly highly highly recommend Bare Minerals foundation. It's so light and so natural looking...none of my close friends could even tell I was wearing it -- they were SHOCKED when I told them. It washes off easily as well with just cetaphil face wash. I even sat in store and had one of the beauticians apply it to me to get my perfect tone... I guess I just didn't care anymore!

Well...eventually everything just started getting better and better, and my confidence was just sky rocketing...

This is me today (in my PJ's...don't judge! ):

Accutane saved my life.

Since I've stopped two weeks ago I have broken out in a couple of tiny tiny pimples, more like closed comedones. My nose has a few (but due to the previous seb derm, this area has always been very easy to clog my entire life). I had one on the side of my forehead which went in a day, and I woke up with a tiny one on my chest this morning, which has already practically gone! I am terrified it will all come back, but I think this is just my body adjusting to normal, and I have seen some people get tiny breakouts after they stop. I am not dry at all anymore, but am not oily as of yet either. I am scared, because after suffering for so long I definately have a kind of BDD-issue with my skin, and every tiny bump I get makes me so so so anxious...but we'll see. I move to Japan next year in feb so I'm really hoping it doesn't come back because I don't think I'll be able to get accutane when I'm out there, but we'll see... one day at a time..

I am still very red and sore (you can't see because I am standing infront of the window with light shining onto me), but I always have been. If my skin stays like this...I'll be happy

Overall, things are looking up.. I have some very exciting television jobs coming up this month, am moving to Japan for work for 14 months next year, and have even started dating someone... all of this I never would have thought 6 months ago when I was crying every day and never leaving the house.

This site has been my rock, and it probably will for years to come. The support here is incredible.