I'm pretty sure you've seen it all; from the regimens and medicines introduced in forums, to the woes and troubles faced by many people battling this disease today. While the information may be well-intentioned, they seem to have lost their flavour as we scroll through this plethora of knowledge and advice, knowing that we've tried everything and nothing seems to work.

Indeed, everything seems hopeless. Trust me, I've had severe acne. It was so bad I don't even know how to describe it. My face was inflamed, littered with purple marks and spots alongside scabs. I tried counting the number of pimples I had once, and I realised it was impossible because they were literally hundreds. Some people who complain they have acne, have pimples concentrated on one area, say their cheeks or chin, and everything else is fine. Yet for mine, it was the whole face literally, all the way.

I couldn't bear to look at the mirror. I couldn't look at people eye to eye. I was obsessed with trying treatments. I feared the light, even till today. I grew many quirks, like if I wore a certain colour, or if I tilted my head a certain way this would make the acne seem less obvious. I did a lot of weird things as well, like taking the long way just to avoid a horde of people walking in my direction, or simply sneaking off away from people. I became ultra sensitive to what people had to say, and I would mull over their words thinking if they were making references, no matter how slight about my condition. Then this would only make me feel worse.

Personally, acne is a very embarrassing topic. I have never openly spoken to anyone about it, and if people asked me if i was concerned i would just shrug it off, or change topics. Even though I cared so much about how I looked, everyday I pretended to my peers that I didn't care, because to me if I showed my vulnerability, this would open the flood gates for a myriad of concerned questions and advice given by people, which would in turn bring my condition to the forefront of discussion.

Looking back, I don't know how i survived. At this point, I want to make it clear that my skin was really horrible. Some people like to complain about how much acne they have and when they post a photo of it, all i can say is i wish i had your skin. In my case, it was literally like a plateau with a thousand volcanos on it. However, even with my bad skin I managed to accomplish so much. I was the top student in my school, a top athlete with many sporting accolades, and teachers all spoke good about me. I even had a girlfriend. And all this while, its not like what others would say, to ignore acne and just live life. It's not that simple. In my case, I mulled over it, i cried over it, and thats where it got me today.

Here comes the main point. Everything happens for a reason. Without acne, I wouldn't have been the understanding person I am today. Things like looking beyond superficiality would not have come naturally to me had not this disease befell me. I used to be a vain pot, and maybe i still am but people respect me for seeking genuine and sincere friendships beyond the exterior. Without acne, I would have had my head in the clouds. With my achievements, prideful thoughts often got into my head too many times. Yet acne kept me rooted to the ground, knowing that hey, at least they have better skin than I did. And this prevented me from arrogance. Without acne, I wouldn't be able to creep off after school or practice to get home to hide my face and bury myself in books, and thereby achieving stellar grades. Without acne, there was little for me to cry out to God for. This kept me praying, reading the bible and crying to God. Without acne, I would have relied on my own strength.

I'm still down with many scars today, and occasional spots once in a while. I'm still afraid of the light and I still have quirks for instance, thinking wearing contact lenses over glasses would accentuate my red marks. However, instead of running away from the problem of ignoring it, it is your every right to cry, grapple and struggle with acne. By wrestling with it will you then understand how to keep yourself going and to think about how it has changed you.