i agree with a lot of what abigail said.
Everyones different but for the average joe they base first impressions of looks thats not to say they won't find people with skin imperfections attractive depending on if they notice them or not (yes some people don't face scan your skin like you do your self). Also, its not that they are always judgemental or superficial its just the only way they know (this applies to men and women who have had clear skin all their life's).
In my opinion its not a deal breaker i have been with women on both ends of the spectrum i know looks don't last forever so there has to be something more.
I don't know, maybe it's because I have ance and generally understand it, but acne is the least of my concerns when it comes to a woman's looks. I'm as looks-centric as any man there is...I don't believe in "romantic love" or any of that nonsense...but some the hottest women I've ever encountered had acne. I like a nice body and nice facial features...if an otherwise nice face includes acne, oh well...at least maybe she understands what I've been going through for 13 years.
I'd much prefer a face with nice features and acne to a face with poor features and clear skin.
True story Abigail!!
Girls r more likely to look beyond the acne but guys - hate to say it but they are more fixed on havin arm candy, somethin pretty to look at etc but not all. If u have acne ur more likely to get with someone who has or had suffered or someone u know in college, work who can c who u really are as a person. The world is judgemental bt i promise not ALL guys r like tht u hav to be prepared tho for the ones tht r and vica versa for girls xxx
Women are designed by evolution to be attracted to men who can provide/protect offspring- money, power, muscles, etc
Men are designed by evolution to be attracted to women who can bear healthy offspring- clear skin, hip:waist ratio close to golden ratio, big breasts, etc
If a guy is dating a 7 and an 8 hits on him, he will think she is hot, but won't cheat, it isn't worth it. If a perfect 10 model hits on him (all else being equal), he will cheat, that's the way it is.
If a girl is dating a guy making 50k and someone making 75k hits on her, she will be flattered, but won't cheat, it isn't worth it. If a guy making 500k hits on her (all else being equal), she will leave you, that's the way it is.
Welcome to the real world.
Women are designed by evolution to be attracted to men who can provide/protect offspring- money, power, muscles, etc
Men are designed by evolution to be attracted to women who can bear healthy offspring- clear skin, hip:waist ratio close to golden ratio, big breasts, etc
If a guy is dating a 7 and an 8 hits on him, he will think she is hot, but won't cheat, it isn't worth it. If a perfect 10 model hits on him (all else being equal), he will cheat, that's the way it is.
If a girl is dating a guy making 50k and someone making 75k hits on her, she will be flattered, but won't cheat, it isn't worth it. If a guy making 500k hits on her (all else being equal), she will leave you, that's the way it is.
Welcome to the real world.
You mean welcome to your world.
No I mean the world you live on, called planet Earth. Let's do a survey.
How many guys around the world are watching porn featuring overweight, acne covered small breasted women?
How many guys around the world are watching porn featuring hard body, clear skinned, big breasted women?
How many girls are reading romance novels featuring the super skinny, glasses wearing cubicle worker making 50k?
How many girls are reading romance novels featuring buff (muscles), princes (power/money)?
Sex has to do babies. Anything that is good for the baby is sexy/attractive, anything that is bad for the baby is unattractive. That is the science.
Welcome to the real world.
Your world sounds lonely and tedious. With such a clinical view of human emotions you must not be feeling very happy in yourself. Hopefully you will find out that life and people in it are wonderfully unpredictable, complicated and exciting - not something that is tangible and can be measured as you so neatly put it.
Merry Christmas!
No I mean the world you live on, called planet Earth. Let's do a survey.
How many guys around the world are watching porn featuring overweight, acne covered small breasted women?
How many guys around the world are watching porn featuring hard body, clear skinned, big breasted women?
How many girls are reading romance novels featuring the super skinny, glasses wearing cubicle worker making 50k?
How many girls are reading romance novels featuring buff (muscles), princes (power/money)?
Sex has to do babies. Anything that is good for the baby is sexy/attractive, anything that is bad for the baby is unattractive. That is the science.
That reminds me of Darth Helmet from the movie Spaceballs where he says "princesses are often attracted to men with money and power" and that he "had both". I'm sorry it's something I guess you'd have to see to fully appreciate it.
Anyway, thanks for the amusing post.
I'm sorry Spotthedifference but I disagree. Men are much more straightforward than women and are unlikely to have that kind of reverse psychology thought process.
BlackStar85 is right, men can be judgemental! Just like women can be judgemental. There are open minded 'decent' guys who will take you for what you are and give zero shits about the condition of your skin seeing beauty beyond it. And there are men who lack experience of acne and therefore empathy who may not be so accepting.
My partner has enjoyed clear skin throughout his life but has a sister who suffered quite severe acne for ten years: He was far more understanding and empathetic about my situation as a result.
Again, everyone's attitudes towards acne depend on their experiences of it. Prior to getting acne myself I probably wouldn't have thought kind things about the aesthetics of a person with cystic acne, I hold my hands up and admit it! Generally people will make a first impression based on looks but the decent guys (and girls) will look deeper and create second third and many more impressions based on much much more. They are the people you'll want in your life anyway!
Ah, now that's a very sweeping generalization. I know at least two dudes that think that way. Granted, they weren't raised in a 'normal' enviroment. Developmental psychology has a lot behind it I think.
Perhaps I'm just not meeting this average guy on the street, but most men I've dated have been incredibly deep and contemplative. Some of them have had much worse mood swings than myself and they've all been emotionally sensitive. Maybe that's just something about the kind of people I attract/that are attracted to me. It's a common joke in my friendship circles that I'm always 'the guy' in a relationship.
Anyway, the point is no guys I've ever met have given a single figgary about my acne/PIH. I'm not talking about long term relationships and 'I love you anyway', I'm talking about guys walking past me on the street that are too busy staring at my butt or facial features to fixate on some temporary skin flaw.
Ironically I'm currently clear and my boyfriend has some stress related problems with his skin (I say ironically because it's always been the opposite way around). Do I care? Not one bit, nor would I if he was covered in cystic acne. He also wouldn't care if I was. Why? Because we're both wonderful attractive people, and skin is only one factor in attractiveness. Heck, I have a thing for scars on a guy.
Ah, now that's a very sweeping generalization.
Actually my point was that we cannot generalise about how men feel about women with acne. As I said, everyone's attitudes towards acne differ according to experience.
In no way am I saying that men aren't deep and contemplative! I'm saying that in regardfirst impressions, it is inevitably the visual that is judged. How can anyone judge someone's character without knowing them?
There are many many physical things that make a person attractive apart from skin condition, as well as personality traits. Predicting how men really feel about acne (the topic of the post) is difficult because of this, but I would say that it would be short sighted to say that acne wouldn't affect how a man (or a woman) perceive another on a first impressions basis.
The only thing I disagreed with in my original post is this: You said to a girl who experienced people saying mean things to her, that men who do this secretly like her. I just thought it was kind of unhelpful advice... If people are being arsemonkies to you, don't give them the time of day! They don't secretly like you, they probably secretly dislike themselves, or have an issue with rudeness. But with men... they don't secretly like you.
It's a fact of life, some people like you, some people are arsemonkies. Just move on and don't over-analyse it.
But maybe I'm wrong... If there are any guys reading this who would say mean things to a girl about her appearance because you secretly like her please correct me!
Well I know I'm not a guy, but speaking from a girl's standpoint, I actually find it a bit endearing when a guy has a bit of acne. It makes me feel more at ease because I know he knows what I'm going through, he won't judge me harshly, and I don't have to feel self conscious, like I'm the acne girl with the guy with the perfect skin, you know? Sometimes acne makes them almost more attractive to me, because I feel less intimidated by them, and more drawn to them because we are dealing with the same thing.