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On 5/28/2013 at 8:56 PM, ibiza1987 said:Hi there,
Yes this is just so rough. To be honest my recent new scars are upsetting me even more than the acne, I have such strong hatred of my face right now. It does make me panic too wondering if these scars are permanent or whether there might be successful treatment for them, reading through information on here and online in general there is a lot of conflicting information out there. Some say there is no solution for acne scars and I find that very scary indeed. The thought of being stuck like this forever is just too much to bear, not that I even remember what it feels like to look in the mirror and see a flawless face staring back, as I have battled acne since I was 11 years old and I'm now 31. It is just too much to take.
I know life is unfair for everyone but persistent acne plus being rejected by my family/bullied all my life/going blind in one eye (losing central vision) is brutal. So as you've gathered acne is just the tip of the iceberg, my life has been tough in many other ways too, having acne has made things even harder to deal with and also made some of my other problems escalate and the frustration of not being able to talk about the skin condition is making me lash out at my poor husband, he is being so nice about it though. I am grateful for all I do have, but don't think I can ever be happy until my skin is at least looking okay. I am also grateful that my scars are fairly minor but it is still so distressing. Just the constant battle with my skin for 20 years, it just gets too much.
Maybe your idea of a letter might be the way forward, will see how it goes. Hoping I finally tell him tonight.
Hang in there ibiza!
Good luck with talking to him whenever you're ready.
been stressin and broke out with a few. im numb right now its whatever. im tired. tomorrow is another day unfortunately.
@ ibiza hey are you ok? if anyone knows about anxiety and depression its me. id bet money im the worst off here when it comes to that. you offered help to me if i needed to talk a while back and the same goes to you. you're posts seem pretty dark lately. you should really talk to your husband and get it out of the way. i guarantee you will feel a million times better. just do it.
Hi, thanks for being there 
Yeah things get really hard sometimes, if you read the posts on here it is frightening to see that acne makes even the most upbeat bubbly people get depressed. I am feeling a bit better now, although still not spoken to my hubby. Skin has calmed down for now, no new breakouts for two days but those new scars I keep talking about don't look any better. How are you feeling?
Hey guys guys guys guys. Can we all post a few things that we like about ourselves? It'll make us feel better! This was actually brought on by my noticing that (drumroll please) I NEVER get blackheads!!!! So I have skin that is clear...of blackheads. My nose is fabulous, you guys! There are so many things I like about myself that don't relate to my appearance. But this is the first thing I've thought of related to my appearance that I actually like. My hair is meh. My eyebrows are meh. My skin is ew. My smile is okay. My ears stick out. My cheeks used to be my favorite part of my face before the acne. So, now I think it's the fact that I don't have blackheads. Whenever I'm feeling bad about the way I look, I'll look in the mirror at my blackhead free nose/skin and rejoice!
Now your turn! What can you look at or think about that will make you feel good looking when you feel the burden of your acne?
You're right skinnie!! 
We HAVE all been pretty negative lately. I guess acne can really bring you down. But yes, so many things to like about ourselves that we don't mention enough! I DO have red marks and some acne, but I do like the shape of my eyes and mouth. I also like how strong my leg muscles are and that I can do more push ups than most girls. Woop!
Update on face: Feelin' good! I do have two active spots because picking at my face is problem I have. BUT. Everything else is flattened out and disappearing. I seem to notice my flaws more than others, and honestly, I think I'm starting to annoy my family with my insecurities. Better to ignore it, I guess-- I'll feel better and my family will be less aggravated by having to say "Heidi, you look FINE. I can't even tell!" all the time.
been stressin and broke out with a few. im numb right now its whatever. im tired. tomorrow is another day unfortunately.
@ ibiza hey are you ok? if anyone knows about anxiety and depression its me. id bet money im the worst off here when it comes to that. you offered help to me if i needed to talk a while back and the same goes to you. you're posts seem pretty dark lately. you should really talk to your husband and get it out of the way. i guarantee you will feel a million times better. just do it.
Hi, thanks for being there
Yeah things get really hard sometimes, if you read the posts on here it is frightening to see that acne makes even the most upbeat bubbly people get depressed. I am feeling a bit better now, although still not spoken to my hubby. Skin has calmed down for now, no new breakouts for two days but those new scars I keep talking about don't look any better. How are you feeling?
there is a lot of positivity going on in this thread right now so I dont want to mess that up but I'm glad you are feeling better.
been stressin and broke out with a few. im numb right now its whatever. im tired. tomorrow is another day unfortunately.
@ ibiza hey are you ok? if anyone knows about anxiety and depression its me. id bet money im the worst off here when it comes to that. you offered help to me if i needed to talk a while back and the same goes to you. you're posts seem pretty dark lately. you should really talk to your husband and get it out of the way. i guarantee you will feel a million times better. just do it.
Hi, thanks for being there
Yeah things get really hard sometimes, if you read the posts on here it is frightening to see that acne makes even the most upbeat bubbly people get depressed. I am feeling a bit better now, although still not spoken to my hubby. Skin has calmed down for now, no new breakouts for two days but those new scars I keep talking about don't look any better. How are you feeling?
there is a lot of positivity going on in this thread right now so I dont want to mess that up
but I'm glad you are feeling better.
Yeah true, LOL - well if you ever feel down and need a friend feel free to PM me
Hey guys guys guys guys. Can we all post a few things that we like about ourselves? It'll make us feel better! This was actually brought on by my noticing that (drumroll please) I NEVER get blackheads!!!! So I have skin that is clear...of blackheads. My nose is fabulous, you guys! There are so many things I like about myself that don't relate to my appearance. But this is the first thing I've thought of related to my appearance that I actually like. My hair is meh. My eyebrows are meh. My skin is ew. My smile is okay. My ears stick out. My cheeks used to be my favorite part of my face before the acne. So, now I think it's the fact that I don't have blackheads. Whenever I'm feeling bad about the way I look, I'll look in the mirror at my blackhead free nose/skin and rejoice!
Well I do like my toned body, although I work out/run a lot so have earned it
I get constant compliments about my eyes - the size, shape and colour of them
I have very smooth and clear skin on my body and it tans well, wish my facial skin could be like this too. I did used to get cysts on my chest and back prior to taking Accutane, this is one area that cleared up for good.
However, I know it's negative to say this, but I've always felt judged on my skin by others therefore my complexion overshadows my good looks in my opinion.
Hey guys guys guys guys. Can we all post a few things that we like about ourselves? It'll make us feel better! This was actually brought on by my noticing that (drumroll please) I NEVER get blackheads!!!! So I have skin that is clear...of blackheads. My nose is fabulous, you guys! There are so many things I like about myself that don't relate to my appearance. But this is the first thing I've thought of related to my appearance that I actually like. My hair is meh. My eyebrows are meh. My skin is ew. My smile is okay. My ears stick out. My cheeks used to be my favorite part of my face before the acne. So, now I think it's the fact that I don't have blackheads. Whenever I'm feeling bad about the way I look, I'll look in the mirror at my blackhead free nose/skin and rejoice!
Well I do like my toned body, although I work out/run a lot so have earned it
I get constant compliments about my eyes - the size, shape and colour of them
I have very smooth and clear skin on my body and it tans well, wish my facial skin could be like this too. I did used to get cysts on my chest and back prior to taking Accutane, this is one area that cleared up for good.
However, I know it's negative to say this, but I've always felt judged on my skin by others therefore my complexion overshadows my good looks in my opinion.
I feel you. I think everyone feels judged based on the quality of their skin. However, if you ever feel unattractive because of your acne, and this is what I plan on doing, before you look in the mirror, just think about those attractive eyes of yours. Imagine you're about to look in the mirror to admire them. Then look in the mirror and just give yourself the most seductive/flirtatious stare ever. Just focus on the attractive-ness of your eyes. Instant pick-me-up, I promise. You will hardly notice your skin! If you focus on the attractive that is there, that would make someone else who doesn't like the way their eyes look think "I wish I had her eyes," you will notice the acne a lot less, I think.
I'm doing okay today. Skin is clear! I was supposed to work but I took a few days off. Still don't know what exactly is happening with my relationship, but I fly to California for some solo/family time next week and I'm looking forward to the change of scenery. Going from the lush, bright-green forests of North Carolina to the sunny deserts of Southern California is definitely a shock to the system. Because I've been depressed about my relationship I haven't been getting outside enough lately, so I'm hoping I get outside during the sunny mornings and just recharge myself a bit...
Haven`t posted on here for a while but I feel particularly low today and this is as good a place as any to come to when you want to vent your feelings and don`t really have anyone you can talk to.
At work, I have befriended a guy who started working for us as a temp a couple of months ago. We are both of a similar age, have a lot in common and get on really well. On Sunday for the first time we went out socially and went to see a group called Happy Mondays in concert. Most of you are probably too young to have heard of them but they were one of the "Madchester" groups that were around in England in the early nineties (when I was a teenager). The concert was brilliant, we had a wicked time and had a few drinks and a great laugh - all in all it was a great night.
However, since the concert I have broken out on my face, neck and chest and I`m sure it is down to the fact that I drank lager. I normally don`t drink as it is one of the things that definitely triggers breakouts and right now I look like repulsive, hideous crap. There is no way that I can have a drink again if this is what it does to my skin.
Thanks to my fucking shit skin, I am probably going to miss out on a potentially great frienship. The guy concerned made it known on Sunday night that he likes to go out for a drink but unfortunately for me, I cannot do it. If I tell him why, he will probably think I`m totally cuckoo and unless we can socialize in a different environment, our friendship is probably not going to evolve.
Ibiza87 and anyone else who suffers from acne related anxiety and hang-ups, I have read some of your posts and really feel for you all. For what it`s worth, I first got acne at 12 and now at the age of 40 I still get break-outs and suffer from all the emotional crap that goes with it so I can totally empathise.
Finally to end this post on a somewhat positive note, in spite of the fact that I may have cruddy skin, I am in good physical shape for an old git and am proud of the fact that due to a combination of cycling and working out, I still have a 29 inch waist and a partial six-pack at the age of 40!
A friend who can't socialize without alcohol is not a friend. But you could still go out to concerts and what not and just not drink. I haven't had a drink for over 4 years now and I've gone to many concerts and festivals in that time. My friends drink, I don't... It isn't that bad. Plus you can always be a sober driver for your friends, which is important.
Today is a new day! Feeling like I'm not as alone in this as I thought. Had a killer workout and am going to try a 21 day challenge... No drinking. I rely on it too much. I decided last night after reading the encouraging posts and even some of the heart wrenching ones, that I have four goals in life right now that I want to take precedence:
My faith, my kids, school, and fitness.
I am loved and beautiful on the inside (or working on it daily). There is more to life than beauty. It hurts indeed, but let's focus on being the most beautiful we can on the inside because the outside truly is a false pretense...
Today is a new day! Feeling like I'm not as alone in this as I thought. Had a killer workout and am going to try a 21 day challenge... No drinking. I rely on it too much. I decided last night after reading the encouraging posts and even some of the heart wrenching ones, that I have four goals in life right now that I want to take precedence:
My faith, my kids, school, and fitness.
I am loved and beautiful on the inside (or working on it daily). There is more to life than beauty. It hurts indeed, but let's focus on being the most beautiful we can on the inside because the outside truly is a false pretense...
Love your post, girl! Your response made me feel good too! XOXO! TY!
I just texted this girl I have a crush on about my entrie acne situation and my emotions. She hasn't replied and I'm nervous but if she doesn't care about my feelings than she's not worth calling a Freind
Not so good. Someone was so rude. When walked in the store, he said damn while he watched me. But I ignored him and had to avoid so many stares. It was a bit frustrating. But I put on a happy face because my mom isn't like that. In the end, I'm alright so hey. And that guy can fall off a cliff somewhere. Well. I wouldn't want him dead but....you guys know what I mean lol.....
I'm feeling like an idiot because I tried vitamin c serum again even though I have already tried it several times and broke out every time! I really wanted to do something about all my red marks and shallow scarring and the serum itself feels and looks nice on. When I tried it before I was also breaking out so much with retin-a that I gave up on it and thought I would never be able to use retinoids. But now I've been using epiduo and didn't even have an initial breakout so I though maybe my skin would tolerate the vitamin c but NO it certainly did not! I've got three cysts now and I'm worried more might appear 
so stupid... I just got asked out on a date as well, typical timing!
One good thing though, I read a thread on here about topical saw palmetto and spearmint improving oily skin - people were suggesting adding essential oils to toner. I always get a bit nervous mixing my own things but I managed to find a toner by Origins that has saw palmetto and spearmint already in it! I stopped using toners long ago having heard they were unnecessary but I thought this sounded worth doing just for the benefits of saw palmetto and spearmint - as a treatment. I actually think it is helping! Before I was having to blot my face before I even left the house but I can go the whole day without blotting now! My skin does go through phases where it is more or less oily so it could be a coincidence so I can't know for sure it is helping but I'm feeling kind of pleased with myself about it lol. I guess it's silly but it makes me feel like I have some control when I can read about something and act on it and see progress
Not so good. Someone was so rude. When walked in the store, he said damn while he watched me. But I ignored him and had to avoid so many stares. It was a bit frustrating. But I put on a happy face because my mom isn't like that. In the end, I'm alright so hey. And that guy can fall off a cliff somewhere. Well. I wouldn't want him dead but....you guys know what I mean lol.....
Man, that is so rude. I just don't understand why people can't keep things to themselves. Sorry you had to deal with that. You could pretend that he was saying "Daaaaamn" while checking you out, instead! Anyway, I'm sure karma will take care of that guy eventually.
I'm feeling like an idiot because I tried vitamin c serum again even though I have already tried it several times and broke out every time! I really wanted to do something about all my red marks and shallow scarring and the serum itself feels and looks nice on. When I tried it before I was also breaking out so much with retin-a that I gave up on it and thought I would never be able to use retinoids. But now I've been using epiduo and didn't even have an initial breakout so I though maybe my skin would tolerate the vitamin c but NO it certainly did not! I've got three cysts now and I'm worried more might appear
so stupid... I just got asked out on a date as well, typical timing!
One good thing though, I read a thread on here about topical saw palmetto and spearmint improving oily skin - people were suggesting adding essential oils to toner. I always get a bit nervous mixing my own things but I managed to find a toner by Origins that has saw palmetto and spearmint already in it! I stopped using toners long ago having heard they were unnecessary but I thought this sounded worth doing just for the benefits of saw palmetto and spearmint - as a treatment. I actually think it is helping! Before I was having to blot my face before I even left the house but I can go the whole day without blotting now! My skin does go through phases where it is more or less oily so it could be a coincidence so I can't know for sure it is helping but I'm feeling kind of pleased with myself about it lol. I guess it's silly but it makes me feel like I have some control when I can read about something and act on it and see progress
First off, awesome that you got asked on a date! 
But, I know what it feels like to use something that obviously didn't work the first time. I tried benzoyl peroxide for a while and it tore up my skin, and then I tried it AGAIN, thinking my skin was somehow "tougher." Nooooope. Bad idea. I hope your cysts heal up quickly and that more don't appear!
Congrats on getting less oily! I love feeling like I have some control over my skin, too. It's a great feeling knowing that something you've done is helping a little
Not so good. Someone was so rude. When walked in the store, he said damn while he watched me. But I ignored him and had to avoid so many stares. It was a bit frustrating. But I put on a happy face because my mom isn't like that. In the end, I'm alright so hey. And that guy can fall off a cliff somewhere. Well. I wouldn't want him dead but....you guys know what I mean lol.....
Man, that is so rude. I just don't understand why people can't keep things to themselves. Sorry you had to deal with that. You could pretend that he was saying "Daaaaamn" while checking you out, instead!
Anyway, I'm sure karma will take care of that guy eventually.
>I'm feeling like an idiot because I tried vitamin c serum again even though I have already tried it several times and broke out every time! I really wanted to do something about all my red marks and shallow scarring and the serum itself feels and looks nice on. When I tried it before I was also breaking out so much with retin-a that I gave up on it and thought I would never be able to use retinoids. But now I've been using epiduo and didn't even have an initial breakout so I though maybe my skin would tolerate the vitamin c but NO it certainly did not! I've got three cysts now and I'm worried more might appear
One good thing though, I read a thread on here about topical saw palmetto and spearmint improving oily skin - people were suggesting adding essential oils to toner. I always get a bit nervous mixing my own things but I managed to find a toner by Origins that has saw palmetto and spearmint already in it! I stopped using toners long ago having heard they were unnecessary but I thought this sounded worth doing just for the benefits of saw palmetto and spearmint - as a treatment. I actually think it is helping! Before I was having to blot my face before I even left the house but I can go the whole day without blotting now! My skin does go through phases where it is more or less oily so it could be a coincidence so I can't know for sure it is helping but I'm feeling kind of pleased with myself about it lol. I guess it's silly but it makes me feel like I have some control when I can read about something and act on it and see progress
First off, awesome that you got asked on a date!
Congrats on getting less oily! I love feeling like I have some control over my skin, too. It's a great feeling knowing that something you've done is helping a little
Thanks a bunch. And yeah, I was trying to pretend he was doing that instead haha!
Really good. I didn't pop a pimple! At all. That's a success. And it's actually going away just a day after it started to form.
My skin is sorta healing from my monthly breakout. My new regimen appears to be working mostly, it's been about a month now .. I've been very reluctant to share it with anyone because I'm SO superstitious that once I do, it will stop working for me. I had been waiting for my period to come along to see how I would react during that dreaded time .. and yeah, I broke out, but I suppose in retrospect it wasn't that bad. Just a few things around my mouth as usual. 
I have one on my cheek that I haven't picked at or anything and it won't go away. Normally they go away and get replaced with another one really quickly. I've been trying BP just on the spot, and AVC. I guess I could try a dab of lemon juice? I really wish I could pick up some tea tree oil, I've heard so many good things about it. But I'll have to wait till tomorrow .. when I have to go back to work. ;o;
Yesterday I finally texted my friend and told her why I was so quite and what was going on in my life. It's weird for me to pour out my feelings to a female friend but it was SO worth it. She totally heard my issue and helped me out. One part of me feels embarrassed but another part of my feels so glad and happy.