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Hi there,

I wasn't planning on starting a journal on here. I was going to keep my own journal to document my Accutane experience, but after spending pretty much the entire excruciating month of waiting (to get the 2nd pregnancy test) on this site, reading Accutane journey after accutane journey, in preparation for what my own journey may possibly hold for me... I decided to share my experience here, in case there is anyone else out there like me, who might benefit in some way from reading this, because I am so grateful for all the people before me who have chosen to share their own experiences here.

Brief (hopefully) history:

I am a 29 yr old female, who has been struggling with acne since around th age of 22, but it really started to get worse at the age of 24. And has only progressed from there. For years I convinced myself that it was some fluke issue that would disappear "any day now". My older sister had severe cystic acne as a teen, and took accutane for it, but I never had more than the occasional pimple before I reached 22. I thought I was lucky enough to have skipped over the acne train. I was so wrong. I mean, I'm almost 30. I didn't even think it was possible to get acne at this age, let alone have it be as bad as it is.

In addition to all of that, I thought you had to have acne as bad as my sister's was in order to take accutane, and if people have always told me I'm "pretty" "attractive" "beautiful" etc., then I couldn't possible be prescribed this medication, regardless of the fact that I never agreed with those people and always felt that they were just saying that to be nice.

In the last 6-12 months, it has gotten so bad for me that I stopped going places because of the acne and oil that I am finally realizing is not some "fluke issue", but is the reality that is my skin. I stopped socializing with people at work, I stayed away from people as much as I possibly could, canceled dates or wouldn't spend the night at the guy I was dating's house- so he wouldn't see my skin in the morning.

It's on my face, my chest, my shoulders, my upper middle and lower back, my butt, and even some on my upper thighs. The worst is on my face, but it's all very visible, as I have a very light completion.

I tried proactive, every kind of drug store wash or cream, then doxy, then doxy and topical prescription after topical prescription. Nothing helped. Not even a little. I felt like crying everyday when I looked in the mirror, and that's when I made an appointment with the derm and planned on begging on my hands and knees to be put on accutane. Luckily, she listened to all that I've tried and agreed to put me on it.

So much for "brief"

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Currently on day 9, taking 40mg a day.

After the first few days I thought my skin looked a tiny bit better than it had before I started. Although I did get two small and one medium sized whiteheads. And I don't get whiteheads... The type of acne I have is a mix between cystic and clogged pores that become inflamed etc..

The whiteheads dried up after a few days, but on the morning of day 6, my face looked like it had more breakouts of my usual type of acne.

Currently, my skin seems no better but no worse than pre-accutane.

Still ridiculously oily. Yesterday and today my face (mainly around my nose) and scalp have been noticeable itchy, but not anything extreme. Lips have begun to feel more dry than pre-accutane. They have always been dry, but this is a different kind of dry. Someone else had explained it as "dry from the inside out", rather than the usual dryness on the outside. I think that's an accurate description. Again- it's nothing bad or unmanageable. I'm applying lip moisturizer twice an hour, I'd say.

I take pictures weekly, and plan on posting the at the end of every month, if I can muster the courage to post them.

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