Hey
I have been a member on this site for about 10 years now. I used to be here constantly and then only once every so often. I have battled acne for most of my life, well before I finally found this site.
Over the 10 years since I signed up here I have been to hell and back, as many people here will be able to relate to. I have tried pretty much every product and medication under the sun and been seen by so many professionals I've lost count. I've also been seriously mentally unwell. We all know the emotional side effects that acne brings and that's why I find myself back here.
I did end up finding some regimen a few years back that finally worked for me and my skin cleared up pretty well. I was overwhelming grateful and could actually do stuff my skin had prevented me from doing for so long, like simply leaving the house. The physical scarring still caused me difficulty but on the whole I was starting to accept myself. However the mental scarring never went away.
Even though my skin was clearing I became not just mentally unwell but physically unwell. I developed several disorders and went through a lot of different treatments. After a massive struggle I finally found myself the strongest I have been in a long time. My skin was doing ok and I finally appeared to be on the right track in my life. I really thought I had finally made it through the other side. Wishful thinking!!
In the last couple of months my gp decided I needed to stop one of my medications as I was at risk of organ damage being on it for too long. I was wary but I was in a good frame of mind so I went along with it. Boom. My skin is getting worse by the day. I've been back to the doctors and asked to be swapped back to my previous meds and of course he said no. So now I'm sliding. I 100% cannot go back to where I was.
This condition has stolen years of my life, it can't take anymore. But it has already started, I can feel it. So I find myself coming back here, to the only place that I ever remember feeling accepted. I cannot go down this path again. But I don't know how to make it stop.
I would bet 99% of us know exactly how you feel! everything seems under control and then it slides back downhill. Speaking as a female with hormonal acne, I go through it every month. Things semi-clear and then go right back to hell over the course of the month...hang in there with us. You are SO much more than your face. I get that it is completely devastating mentally and physically hurts and I also know that we are stronger than our acne. Have hope that things can clear again and even if they don't, you are an amazing human being that is battling something out of your control. Keep leaning on us here!
Thanks for the replies, it's so good to be talking to people who get how it feels!
I was on antibiotics. Although I'm now currently fighting with my head over why i went to that doctors appointment...if I hadn't he wouldn't have taken me off them, I'd still be doing ok etc etc! Having a frustrating week!
Thanks for the replies, it's so good to be talking to people who get how it feels!
I was on antibiotics. Although I'm now currently fighting with my head over why i went to that doctors appointment...if I hadn't he wouldn't have taken me off them, I'd still be doing ok etc etc! Having a frustrating week!
I understand regretting the visit, but continuing the antibiotics at the risk of organ damage? That wouldn't be good if your skin was better but then posing a danger to the rest of your body:/
Maybe better to wait find something that is a win win both for your skin and safe for your body so you can safely enjoy your life. I hope this doctor can find a replacement medication soon..if not, always good to get a second opinion...someone else might have a much better treatment plan for you. I am so sorry for all that you have been through...i can relate to feeling exhausted! Please don't give up!
This condition has stolen years of my life, it can't take anymore. But it has already started, I can feel it. So I find myself coming back here, to the only place that I ever remember feeling accepted. I cannot go down this path again. But I don't know how to make it stop.
For now try to maintain your physical activities, whether they are walking, cycling, fishing etc. Keeps your stress levels down and also takes your mind of your skin for a while. This will help you handle your problems and make them less overwhelming.
For over half a year my skin had been free from acne, but in March one of the worst acne zits ever decided to nest right on a piece of skin that had been healthy and scar free. I mean, it was a MONSTER! It was unlike anything I had ever seen, and I have seen a lot on my skin. I did everything so it wouldn't leave any scar, but yesterday I saw that my efforts were in vain. This gorgeous purple pond of vanished skin met my eyes in the mirror.
But I see it as a long struggle against acne. Even if it comes back and if a new scar appears and it devestates me, I know that I have done my best and that sometimes you lose some battles despite best efforts. But it's worth to keep fighting.
Ps. Has anyone else wondered if their acne actually has an intelligence? I mean, so many times I have been happy over one acnefree spot and a day later BOOM! Or how my acne scars have made these intricate lines. It's almost like staring up the starry sky and seeing a fish, lasso etc. 