Oh my freaking goodness. Could this really be the end of an era?

Let me explain: I've been on the search for something, anything, to help me clear my acne for the last 6 or 7 years. It has been a such a terrible, self-esteem crushing, defining struggle-- and I think maybe I've found my answer. In 2012, I was suffering from deep, painful cystic acne and painful, inflamed skin. I'd been using Neutrogena Oil-Free acne scrub (had been for a long time) and was washing basically morning and night. I was fed up, done, over--- so I threw it all away, every little piece of s*** that I had, and read up on natural skin care. Then came the honey, and the yogurt, and the experiments with OCM (literally the worst thing ever for my skin, ew), Pond's cold cream, going gluten-free, giving up caffeine, detoxing from alcohol, etc. Cutting caffeine helped a lot with the cysts, but I was still breaking out and it just was not a good situation. Plus, I had a lot of healing to do.

It was about this time that I really started to clean up my diet: as I said, I nixed the coffee, which was a shame because I really truly love the taste. I was eating a ton more vegetables, dropped bread and wheat products for the most part, and that helped too. But not enough. It was manageable, at that time, and I was using honey to cleanse my face every other day, and on the off day I would do a yogurt mask. I have always worn little makeup, but would take it off with water and cotton pads before my night time routine. The only chemicals on my face ever were contained in CeraVe PM lotion (which I actually do still use). Yes, I broke out, but the transition wasn't terrible. I was excited that I was going natural, and felt good about it despite not having the clear skin that I wanted. Why should everyone else be able to walk around stress-free because their face isn't on their mind 24-7?

The summer of 2013. I come home from graduate school: stressed and emotionally worn out to the max, and the BIGGEST breakout ever happened. It just wouldn't clear up. I was so gentle with my skin otherwise, and I didn't understand. And then the real journey began. I had terrible, terrible days. Sometimes I wouldn't get off the couch. My sex life went from being normal to confrontational-- I just didn't feel attractive. I landed a teaching job in a high-stress environment, and another major breakout happened. This was not including the huge cold-sore rash I got during that time. Also, just to say: the breakouts were not just on my chin because of hormones or stress, and weren't confined to any area of my face (though mostly on chin, jaw, and forehead).

Summer of 2014. Not bad. Vitamin D galore. Sunshine and the drying of excess oil perhaps. Nothing changed in my routine, honestly. At this time, I was also drinking clay and ACV to cleanse my system in conjunction with my skincare products. My skin was pretty decent-- so why not incorporate coffee back in? Yes!

Fall 2014. Another gigantic breakout including that included cystic acne and painful red lesions. I should mention that I've also always had dry skin, and it actually was one of the things that got worse when I stopped using commercial products. At this time, just a half year ago, I was going through a tough period in my relationship, my mental and emotional health was in extreme distress because of my professional life (or lack thereof) and family issues, and it was the perfect storm. I had cystic marks on my cheeks that LITERALLY are still there (almost gone now). I didn't know what to do, where to turn, or what to even look for anymore. I tried the caveman regimen, thinking that it could be my saving grace. It made things terribly worse. This means I wasn't using yogurt either. I knew that I needed a great upheaval in my life in order to turn things around.

The day after the New Year, something came over me-- sort of unexplainable-- and I had enough. Enough of everything that was stressing me out or causing me pain. I've always been an advocate of natural health and wellness, but wasn't following my own beliefs. I bought Louise Hay's "You Can Heal Your Body" (buy it) for Christmas and saw that the intrinsic reason she attributes acne to is an inferiority complex, not feeling good enough, being afraid of...being. This honestly changed my life. I knew that I needed to heal emotionally before anything else got better physically on my skin. I won't get into the nitty gritty (though if you'd like more details feel free to message me and ask-- I want to tell the story to people who will listen), but I let go of so many harbored negative emotions and looked inside for the answers. I cleaned up my diet again. I didn't wear any makeup at all (this NEVER HAPPENED EVER) even as my skin was in the worst condition it had been, ever. I'm talking a forehead full of red marks and scabs. Cystic scabbing on my cheeks. Clogged pores and dry skin on my chin and jaw. And I didn't care-- because why should I be afraid of what people thought of me? My main concern was healing myself internally before I even began to concern myself with makeup.

This all being said, if you've gotten this far, I realize this is an aspirin mask review. And it is. Because once I allowed myself that space to heal internally, I wasn't afraid anymore. I wasn't afraid to try new things for fear that my skin would break out. I came across this aspirin mask and somehow it was something I hadn't tried yet (I've tried a lot of stuff) so I thought, what the hell? Turns out that it is the best thing I'd ever figured out. I needed exfoliation. Natural (mostly), chemical exfoliation. The yogurt over the years of natural care had made it manageable, but the lack of actual exfoliation and deep cleaning my pores seemed to be the ultimate culprit. I mixed it (about 3 crushed, dissolved in water) with honey and yogurt (a routine I had returned to since my revelation). The first few times, I broke out across my forehead (which I was okay with, since the skin around the breakout looked amazing and I knew I had clogged pores up there) and then they were gone in a few days. I did it for three days straight, took a day off, then a few more times, etc. I just did what made my skin feel good. And it all started flaking. Peeling like crazy. But, miraculously, it was healing at the same time....and nothing new was coming up. Not to mention my face was softer than I would ever have been able to imagine. My face is nearly clear now of everything-- I'm talking red marks as well-- and I have only been doing it for about 2 weeks, maybe a few days more.

Aspirin is a huge reason why I am clear. I neglected good chemical exfoliation to the degree I needed it for years. Yogurt wasn't enough, and I didn't do anything other than that to exfoliate for fear of being too harsh. Little did I know that the years of sebum plugs and oil and dry skin clogged my face up to the nth degree, allowing stress and all of the harbored junk in my bones and system to make them inflamed and result in ultimately awful breakouts cyclically.

That being said, I attribute my real successes to my internal well-being. I have a long way to go, but my life has done a 180 in terms of my professional career, my handling of stress, my strained relationships, my exercise routine (which is daily yoga), and my positive outlook on the future. Not to mention, my ultimate victory in all of this was not wearing makeup and not giving a SH** what people thought. And by that I mean what I THOUGHT people thought. I got comfortable with myself. I went shopping, to the movies, to work-- all without makeup on. None. Yeah, I don't look as bright or fresh, but I was proving a point to myself, and I did it well. I still haven't worn makeup, and won't really need to in two more weeks, probably. I'll then incorporate blush, perhaps, and obviously eye makeup when needed.

I'm so sorry for this long post, but I know how much this site has been a system of support and help to me over the last several years-- and I always loved reading the stories of real people like those on this site who are looking for answers. Please, while these forums help, look inside yourself first, and then a topical aid might appear to you (like my finding of aspirin) when you least expect it. The solution lies within you, whoever you are and whatever your struggle is with acne at this time. You are better than you feel and believe. No one is judging you on your skin, and if they are, they can go to hell and take every other assclown with them. If you're just here looking for me to tell you to use aspirin-- I'm all for it. It has been absolutely wonderful and I can't wait to continue with it because the chemicals are minimal, and it makes me happy to maintain that aspect of my regimen while still working on my insides. Try breathing exercises, stress exercises, yoga, self-help, dietary changes, try it all-- but LISTEN to yourself. Louise Hay's book was a catalyst for me and I highly recommend that as a starting point for everyone on this site.

Stay strong, and message me with any questions. I would love to hear back from everyone if they've had any similar experiences or can relate! Thanks for reading, and namaste!