This section of the forum is absolutely sad. We need to start thinking differently.
The argument "You could have only one leg!" doesn't seem to work. But let's start off with that.
Living with acne isn't the worst thing in the world that could happen to you. Plenty of people out there suffer from real handicaps and things in their life that could stop them from living a full life, and yet they continue. They find a way around and they carry on, generally humbler, stronger, more empathetic and more caring than they ever would have been otherwise.
If anything, acne can do this as well. It is a simple problem. It is not life-hindering, and it's a problem with a great deal of people.
However, there's something else we're not all seeing. Every girl can attest to this. If you think your acne is a problem, have you ever had a friend you considered beautiful, complain about herself? Maybe she doesn't like her arms, thinks her nose is too big, or is insecure about her height.
If you can think about this friend, in your mind do you say "poor girl, she does have a big nose," or do you say, "poor girl, I wish she could have more confidence."
It is most definitely the latter. Insecurity is rampant in our society. I can especially argue that in American culture, there is a higher media-driven, social understanding that there is an ideal look. Maybe that "ideal look" cannot be defined on a piece of paper, but in our minds, we know what it is not. It is never us. I've never met a girl who thought she was ideal. There are always things about herself she can point out and say is not ideal.
Every single person appears to have insecurity and the ability to pick out what is not ideal. We all have insecurity. Your beautiful friend could be just as insecure as you and have completely clear skin. You'll look at her dumbfounded, wondering why she is insecure when you have such a more devastating problem--but really, you have the same problem. You're suffering from insecurity. Insecurity is this parasite that rots your insides, and if you do not address it, you will always find non-ideal aspects of yourself and feel negatively about it. You will have insecurity forever.
So how do we deal with insecurity? It is not an easy thing to escape. You do not simply wake up one day without it.
So let's start here. How do we start thinking differently? I truly believe the body-acceptance movement--loving each person with their own flaws--to be a great start in our society. There are currently people out there fighting for us to accept our flaws and love imperfection. However, I don't think that's far enough.
Loving imperfection is still letting the problem continue, as we're defining a new perspective in the context of the old one: that there is imperfection to begin with, and imperfection we have to learn to love. It's still saying there is a perfect out there that exists on some piece of paper, and we can map out the imperfections we have.
I want to begin a new discussion. First, that there is no perfect out there which some people have and lesser souls do not have. On the other side, there is also no imperfect that you have to hide indoors to prevent people from seeing. Beauty--this aesthetic aspect of our lives, needs to change. We need to stop trying to define what it is and what it is not.
Can we start this conversation?
This section of the forum is absolutely sad. We need to start thinking differently.
I agree.
The argument "You could have only one leg!" doesn't seem to work. But let's start off with that.
Living with acne isn't the worst thing in the world that could happen to you. Plenty of people out there suffer from real handicaps and things in their life that could stop them from living a full life, and yet they continue. They find a way around and they carry on, generally humbler, stronger, more empathetic and more caring than they ever would have been otherwise.
If anything, acne can do this as well. It is a simple problem. It is not life-hindering, and it's a problem with a great deal of people.
It isn't the worst thing in the world to deal with, objectively speaking. To go from clear-skin bliss, to acne nightmare is almost always a life altering event. If someone was to tell me that they suffer with eczema for example, I wouldn't think "Be happy, you could have cancer!", I think "That sucks, I wonder what that's like?". It's all relative and I don't think it's fair to tell someone (especially someone who's life is centred around an illness) that you could have something worse and that their condition isn't a real handicap. It only compounds their frustration, as they'd now feel bad, not only for having acne, but for ever thinking they have a right to feel negative about having acne (A right they do have).
Everything affects everyone differently. To some, acne is life-hindering, to some acne is merely another challenge, to some a nuisance, to some irrelevant (I knew someone like this). Despite acne affecting the majority of the population at one point or another, it still causes psychological consequences and in some cases, physical.
However, there's something else we're not all seeing. Every girl can attest to this. If you think your acne is a problem, have you ever had a friend you considered beautiful, complain about herself? Maybe she doesn't like her arms, thinks her nose is too big, or is insecure about her height.
If you can think about this friend, in your mind do you say "poor girl, she does have a big nose," or do you say, "poor girl, I wish she could have more confidence."
It is most definitely the latter. Insecurity is rampant in our society. I can especially argue that in American culture, there is a higher media-driven, social understanding that there is an ideal look. Maybe that "ideal look" cannot be defined on a piece of paper, but in our minds, we know what it is not. It is never us. I've never met a girl who thought she was ideal. There are always things about herself she can point out and say is not ideal.
Every single person appears to have insecurity and the ability to pick out what is not ideal. We all have insecurity. Your beautiful friend could be just as insecure as you and have completely clear skin. You'll look at her dumbfounded, wondering why she is insecure when you have such a more devastating problem--but really, you have the same problem. You're suffering from insecurity. Insecurity is this parasite that rots your insides, and if you do not address it, you will always find non-ideal aspects of yourself and feel negatively about it. You will have insecurity forever.
This is not gender specific. Insecurities reside in the majority of people, as it's human nature to doubt yourself and to compare.
I agree with you about insecurity and society. I believe that due to societal conditioning and constant "Herd pressure", insecurity has unfortunately found a commonplace in our society. When I watch documentaries about the tribes the remain separate from society, I see confident, hard-working people with a very healthy self-esteem. The women are content, the men are content, there are no universal ideals, because everyone is unique in their own right and it's a concept they've grasped to the fullest.
As a notion, again, I agree with you. Insecurity is a parasite that latches onto any weakness you assume to have. Unfortunately, few people posses the willpower to simply ignore the pressures of society and live in the way that truly makes them the happiest.
So how do we deal with insecurity? It is not an easy thing to escape. You do not simply wake up one day without it.
So let's start here. How do we start thinking differently? I truly believe the body-acceptance movement--loving each person with their own flaws--to be a great start in our society. There are currently people out there fighting for us to accept our flaws and love imperfection. However, I don't think that's far enough.
Loving imperfection is still letting the problem continue, as we're defining a new perspective in the context of the old one: that there is imperfection to begin with, and imperfection we have to learn to love. It's still saying there is a perfect out there that exists on some piece of paper, and we can map out the imperfections we have.
I want to begin a new discussion. First, that there is no perfect out there which some people have and lesser souls do not have. On the other side, there is also no imperfect that you have to hide indoors to prevent people from seeing. Beauty--this aesthetic aspect of our lives, needs to change. We need to stop trying to define what it is and what it is not.
Can we start this conversation?
striving to achieve the ideal, endlessly tormenting yourself and your body with changes and promises of future changes and for what?. Let's say hypothetically that you achieve this ideal, what then?. You've essentially cursed yourself as you've gained a false happiness. One that is temporary and ever so troublesome to uphold. Internal happiness radiates externally. It resides in a place where no man can reach and I truly envy those that have already found that within themselves. Their lives are the ones worth living.
My $0.02
This section of the forum is absolutely sad. We need to start thinking differently.
The argument "You could have only one leg!" doesn't seem to work. But let's start off with that.
Living with acne isn't the worst thing in the world that could happen to you. Plenty of people out there suffer from real handicaps and things in their life that could stop them from living a full life, and yet they continue. They find a way around and they carry on, generally humbler, stronger, more empathetic and more caring than they ever would have been otherwise.
If anything, acne can do this as well. It is a simple problem. It is not life-hindering, and it's a problem with a great deal of people.
However, there's something else we're not all seeing. Every girl can attest to this. If you think your acne is a problem, have you ever had a friend you considered beautiful, complain about herself? Maybe she doesn't like her arms, thinks her nose is too big, or is insecure about her height.
If you can think about this friend, in your mind do you say "poor girl, she does have a big nose," or do you say, "poor girl, I wish she could have more confidence."
It is most definitely the latter. Insecurity is rampant in our society. I can especially argue that in American culture, there is a higher media-driven, social understanding that there is an ideal look. Maybe that "ideal look" cannot be defined on a piece of paper, but in our minds, we know what it is not. It is never us. I've never met a girl who thought she was ideal. There are always things about herself she can point out and say is not ideal.
Every single person appears to have insecurity and the ability to pick out what is not ideal. We all have insecurity. Your beautiful friend could be just as insecure as you and have completely clear skin. You'll look at her dumbfounded, wondering why she is insecure when you have such a more devastating problem--but really, you have the same problem. You're suffering from insecurity. Insecurity is this parasite that rots your insides, and if you do not address it, you will always find non-ideal aspects of yourself and feel negatively about it. You will have insecurity forever.
So how do we deal with insecurity? It is not an easy thing to escape. You do not simply wake up one day without it.
So let's start here. How do we start thinking differently? I truly believe the body-acceptance movement--loving each person with their own flaws--to be a great start in our society. There are currently people out there fighting for us to accept our flaws and love imperfection. However, I don't think that's far enough.
Loving imperfection is still letting the problem continue, as we're defining a new perspective in the context of the old one: that there is imperfection to begin with, and imperfection we have to learn to love. It's still saying there is a perfect out there that exists on some piece of paper, and we can map out the imperfections we have.
I want to begin a new discussion. First, that there is no perfect out there which some people have and lesser souls do not have. On the other side, there is also no imperfect that you have to hide indoors to prevent people from seeing. Beauty--this aesthetic aspect of our lives, needs to change. We need to stop trying to define what it is and what it is not.
Can we start this conversation?
Even if you are not insecure, other people will make sure that you will feel at least different from them.
If only everyone thought like you. I remember a girl in highschool saying to me, "you would be so pretty if only your skin wasn't so bad!" It may sound ridiculous, but her words have stuck with me for years. I'm 23 and my skin seems to be worse than ever. I've been dealing with it for so many years, it feels like its become part of my identity... living inside of this infected skin that I can never be free from. It may not be a deadly illness, but it has absolutely taken a toll on me. I wish I could overcome this, if not physically, then mentally. It's a constant battle. Thanks for your words.
I like encouraging posts, but this seems to trivialize what is a very serious health issue for some people. I spent many mornings painfully peeling off a shirt stained with blood and puss when my bacne was at its worst. When I think back over all the sores and all the pain, I'm shocked that I still have an ounce of sanity left. Freaking out over a couple of zits is insecurity, but that's hardly the case for most of the people in this section of the forums.
I like encouraging posts, but this seems to trivialize what is a very serious health issue for some people. I spent many mornings painfully peeling off a shirt stained with blood and puss when my bacne was at its worst. When I think back over all the sores and all the pain, I'm shocked that I still have an ounce of sanity left. Freaking out over a couple of zits is insecurity, but that's hardly the case for most of the people in this section of the forums.
I totally agree with this comment. A few blemishes is one thing, severe cystic acne is quite another. Not only is it painful but when it's at the stage of oozing blood and puss all over your face it also makes you feel systemically unwell until antibiotics can get it back under control. When acne is so bad that the shape of your face is visibly deformed and the pain of cysts prevents you from sleeping at night then it is as life-hindering as many other "more serious" medical conditions and don't even get me started on the mental effects of it because severe acne can literally ruin you psychologically. It is a traumatic thing to experience and not something you are ever going to forget.
The initial post contains some very good advice, especially on the subject of insecurity, and I do admire and respect its positivity. I definitely wish I could learn to think about myself in a similar way. However, in my opinion it is sadly not applicable to those with severe acne.
Wow.......first off Acne is not an insecurity its an incurable skin disease mostly centred on the face of suffers. Yep we all have insecurites and its about learning to do with your inner insecurities but you cannot say that to a person battling severe active acne because its your face, its what your mostly first judged on, its the first thing people see and its what the media centre on being close to perfection so you tell me how exactly a person with acne or scarring is meant to try and deal with it especially the psychological effects it brings which yeah makes things a whole lot worse cause all your thoughts are negative......Someone whos acne is improving or whos acne isnt active may be able to relate to your post as they can focus on dealing with the other issues or insecurities as you call it, that acne has brought (BDD, Depression etc). You no doubt have good intentions but you are basically saying in around about way...other people are worse off so get on with it. Some people can, they can still be confident and get on with life but a good majority wont especially with active and worsening acne they need support not a pep talk they need to feel like folk understand that its a real issue that affects lives and you have kinda made it seem as though were "fussing about nothing"
Those people with "real" disabilitys (amputees, blind, deaf)....they are truly outstanding people especially those who can soldier on through life and thats where people on this board want to be but acne is it itself a disablity because it DOES prevent people from living life. I do believe partly what your saying its right its about changing how we see ourselves and learning to say right ok ive got acne its nae going anywhere ive just got to accept it but how can we when nearing perfection is thrown in our faces everyday by people and the media....Your post would be better suited to them. You have the right idea though start with changing your mind and how you see yourself but thats even harder than getting by with acne. Some of what you said was a bit errr cutting people come on here to vent their dark thoughts about acne because it helps and ti stops them from bottling, you see it as sadness but its a therapy and other members of the board support them and thats how this works. Your hearts in the right place though
S x
Why is acne not severe? WHY? I spent the 19th year of my life locked in a room seething with depression.I lived in a hostel,and while every other guy had a date or two,i was busy applying benzoyl peroxide on my mutant face .I had flawless skin and a clear complexion prior this scourge.Now,it has somehow left a darker version of me with oily coarse irregular skin.I can't talk to a person straight eyed because inevitably their attention wanders of to my face .
Acne ruined my social life .A good social life is conducive for the overall development of an individual.And so,i'm only half developed.
And then you say acne is not a handicap...you,who probably is an acne sufferer yourself.
There are two type of diseases: A ,which hinders with your normal life eg.motor neuron disease B. Which seriously affects your quality of life eg.acne.
While A is almost always more severe than B , B is in no way lesser a nuisance...
QUALITY of LIFE is equally important!!!
Maybe the research fraternity needs to stop working on cures for cancer and AIDS.Find a bloody vaccine for acne.Eradicate it for good....