Hello everybody!

I'm currently on my 2nd course of accutane(the first one was 4 years ago and it was successful) and my problem is that it doesn't work for me anymore. I remember that when I had my first treatment with accutane I started seeing results more quickly than now. More importanly - it helped me for the first time but it doesn't help me more! During present course the effect of the drug was seen after 3 months but then something happent. I can't believe it but during the 3rd month of my threatment I started breaking out. At first glance it was only an innocent pustule but then a big buble full of puss grew out of it. I also have 3-4 HUGE red marks around it and it is still spreading. Perhaps it is a foliculitis, but it's darn deep. I have other chin full of some very persisent acne. It is seen that I will have a lot of deep scars because of this. And believe it or not, this actually happent DURING the treatment of the accutane (before the treatment that area of my skin was CLEAR and now it isn't!). UNBELIVEABLE! However, this isn't the worst thing. The worst thing my face stopped improving in month 3 and started to break out, when it's supposed to be getting better! It's not moving anywhere! It's not getting better with me, it's only getting worse. This Accutane isn't a miracle drug!

I'm currently starting month 5 and my face is practically worse than it was when I started accutane. I can't believe it, I don't wanna believe it, but it is. I'm 19 years old and i weigh 74 kg/163 pounds and I'm 183 cm/ 6 feet tall and I'm taking 40 mg accutane per day(2x20 mg, one in the morning and one in the evening). I will be taking it for 2 months more, but I think that my skin can't improve much in such short period of time. Skin improvement usually requires months, even year to repair its damage. I've read other threads when you guys are writing that I have to be patient but that's bullshit. The dermatologist said that my body is reacting differently now than it had 4 years ago, but this is only an excuse. It should be just a little bit better now, but it ain't. I'm currently on month 5 and I'm worse than I was before, come on, how about that? I want to be clear! I'm doing everything to keep my face clean. Every topic and cream I bought, nothing helped me. I tried almost everything from benzoyl peroxyde, doxy, Skinoren, Klimicin, nothing, Really NOTHING helped me! Because obviously it can't because I have Acne Conglobata which is somehow curable only by Accutane (See the jinxed circle? I'm in a jinxed circle).

I'm suffering acne for 5 years and I'm sick of it. I want it to be gone. I'm really depressed about how the fact that Accutane is so effective, but it doesn't help me. How can I be one amongst 10 % of people that Accutane doesn't help. HOW, please someone tell me? I'm crying now that I'm writing this to you and I feel very sad. I'm also thinking of commiting suicede, because my life has no sense at all. I'm so frustrated, everything makes me so outrageous. I lost everythinking because of these acne. A lot of good things. I can't stand how people look at me, how I'm disgunsting to them, how they judge me just because of my appearance. I can't stand it anymore. I'm 19 years old and I never had a girlfriend because I'm so ugly. Everybody are just running away from me because I'm so disgusting. They're not giving me the opportunity to show them that I'm in fact a good person. Despite losing 10 pounds and training football and going to the gym I'm still unatracttive and not handsome (because of my constituon of bones). I trained hard to get such body as I have now, but that doesn't make any sense, cause my face is awful. In my country girls are looking just by the looks. PLEASE, someone help me, I can't stand this anymore!

In addition of everything written above my acne is uncontrollable, I start breaking out when I'm put under a lot of stress, my acne is called Acne Conglobata(the interesting fact is that I'm the only in my whole family that have such acne, nobody before me had such problems), the worst of all acne disease and if Accutane won't help me then what will? Accutane is the only remedy that can help me, but it doesn't. I mean, come on I'm on month 5 and I'm getting worse from day to day. This is unreal!

I will prove you that I'm not imagining things as I will soon upload my new blog and pictures on a Accutane blog on the other part of the forum and then you will see that I'm telling the truth.