I had a feeling the school year was going to be a nightmare. The locker room. For many a place to change their damn clothes like normal. I dont have that luxury. Its not quite that easy. See, I have to take my damn shirt off in this locker room. With my buckshot skin. Balls. Being treated like subhuman crap really got to me. I always remember being in this tension-filled fight or flight response. Now I got to a massive school and I cant even enjoy that! The anxiety of changing in that locker room is second to none. I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. It felt like arms were crushing my ribs. Like my heart felt it was being grasped and squeezed. I realized. Oh, just trauma from me being treated like dogshit. F*ckin brutal. Its honestly amazing. I truly do have a 1 in 1,000,000 genetics for horrible skin! Not a single person in that room has acne! Not a one! Besides me of course, guess I sinned or some shit to deserve this. So brutal, being harshly reminded that your genetics are about 1,000 tiers bellow everyone else. I do compete in cross country/ track but I wear a team shirt instead of a singlet. But some teams dont have shirts as wearable uniform. Basically everyone is spotless. Seriously, not even a mole or freckle. There was one bastard whos unluckiness is similar to mine. He was some random runner who bad acne covering his back. Poor guy. I saw the pain on his face. His constant nervousness was so relatable. I wish I could give him a hug. Think about it, hes gotta worry about his skin and the race! On another note, fuc* locker rooms. Ill talk more about severe anxiety and ALLLL the shit Ive been through later.