Hey everyone, this is my story of how I needed to bring back my acne so that I could be healed.

My intention is that this post will help someone out there who is struggling with body image and is ready to heal internally. My message is not for everyone, but for those who will listen, I hope you will continue to read. I've been on the regimen for 7-8 years, since 2010. I was 19 years old when I I decided to give this regimen a try, after going on antibiotics for a year (I had tried countless methods to heal my acne over the previous several years, both medically and holistically) which really compromised my system in the long run and worsened my acne. I hit a low point when my acne was purging horribly after doxycycline stopped working and I had two massive mountains on my face that looked like some horrible disease. I was feeling hopeless and was begging my mom to let me go on Accutane. After I had nearly given up, I came here for my last hope. I had been browsing the forums for years but never considered BP as a legitimate weapon against acne because Proactive wasn't effective for me in the past. Within 6 or 7 weeks, the regimen got my skin clear, but dryness was an issue. Within 6 months, my skin adjusted and I had nearly perfect skin with minimal dryness without moisturizing. I have had clear skin for the past 7 years. Once my confidence in myself began to rise, I began going to the gym and realized I had a great affinity for lifting and strength. I became a power lifter and saw my body transform like I never imagined possible. As confidence increased more, I began to perfect my grooming habits and eventually found the perfect hair style and beard that complimented my face. I continued to work on improving myself on the outside which made me feel desirable, approved, and more in control of my environment, including people.

Now for the whole purpose of this writing. I decided 2 months ago that it was finally time to face the underlying fears that never truly left, even though Ive been acne free for years. Anyone who has suffered with severe acne knows the fear and the shame that lies beneath, and how acne draws you into an internal obsession. Those feelings of uncleanness, shame, unworthiness, unattractiveness, an outsider... I threw away all of my skin care products and acne.org benzoyl peroxide. I didn't even want to have a plan B if my face decided to go crazy, I wanted an opportunity to face my flesh at its worst. Rather than waiting until my face outgrew acne in my mid 30s, I decided to take advantage of the fact that my skin was still acne prone. If I missed just a few doses in one week, I would usually get a couple pimples, so I knew that I didn't outgrow my acne problem.

Back in 2015 I dedicated my life to Christ and its been a growing process over those years. Through my faith in God, I've overcome many battles, including drug addiction, lifelong sexual addictions that I thought were impossible to change, and I have gradually molded into a different person. Now that my faith has grown stronger, I felt led to allow God to uproot the lies I have believed about myself which were still being covered up by my clear skin and muscular growth. In our culture we base our own value on outward things, such as our attractiveness, skin, bodyweight, personality, career success, intellect, and so forth. According to the faith, man was never created for himself, to be selfish and self centered, self-conscious, but rather he was created in the image of God. Mans identity came solely from the way God saw them, and he was created for the glory of God. It wasn't until man sinned that shame entered, when Adam and Eve felt naked because sin had separated them from their God. All shame, self-consciousness, and the way we view our value according to our corrupt flesh stems from our separation from the presence of our loving God and Father. This emptiness is the cause behind all the motivations of this world and all the evil we see in a world that has fallen from Gods original creation.

It's been exactly 7 weeks since quitting the regimen. I set this date out in my mind to post my progess, although I had no idea what I was going to say nor did I know it would be on Easter day. It took me a few days to get my first pimple, a few weeks until my first breakout, and gradually my skin has gotten a little worse on the outside with each coming week. The stronger my acne appears, the greater I can see the truth and know I am healed and victorious.Even though acne is primarily a cosmetic issue, I know that by trusting God, my skin will turn out for the better in the long run according to his healing hand, rather than continuing to lather harsh chemicals on my skin as I grow older. Even more importantly, God is working in my life through perseverance to increase my faith in Him, while allowing all lies that I believe about my self-value coming from my temporary physical appearance and learning about my true value in Christ. My existence has been justified because Jesus told hold of me and paid for my redemption with His own righteous blood. I dont find justification in the eyes of men or the way the see me or the way I see myself. Since the way to God has been restored, my shame has been transformed into glory, and I no longer see myself according to the mirror. Now, I can finally see myself according to the reflection in Gods eyes. At the same time, as I view myself correctly, I am no longer viewing other people according to their outside cover, but rather through the perspective of Gods eyes. It is self-less, humble, and brings a desire to put others above yourself. No more relationships that are centered on how it increases the value of my own. Just a love that gives.Happy Easter everyone