You could have a look at epiology skincare. It's not sold as an exfoliant but it is a very gentle acne prevention system for sensitive skin types. I'm sure some others will have further ideas for you. Good luck 🙂

A lot of people use paulas choice AHA's and BHA's. Check out r/skincareaddiction - they have a lot of suggestions on chemical exfoliants (you'll want chemical instead of physical like what you've been using)

I used to have the same issue but not anymore. Here is what I did, hopefully it will help you:

I went for a pore cleansing facial for several months (once a month). When I say my pores were cleaned and the person was thorough, I mean they were cleaned! :). You have to go to a quality place, not the ones you find on groupon. I tried several of them but they hardly cleaned any pores. It was waste of time and money but if you find a good quality spa where they really take their time to clean your pores, you will be good to go.

Getting your pores cleaned professionally first is very important because after that you can easily maintain.

For maintenance- I use the Artistry polishing scrub. It is very gentle. I usually use it after a hot shower so the pores are open and you can easily clean them. I also use a pore cleansing mask several times a week. It is very refreshing/you can even leave it all night if you wanted to. Oh also, if you wear makeup, just make sure to remove it thoroughly. After I wash my face, I use witchhazel as a toner to make sure my skin is thoroughly cleaned.

I keep quarterly appointments to have my pores cleaned professionally. Some people go more frequent but since I maintain my skin on a daily and weekly basis, I don't need to go so often.

Here are the links if you want to learn more about the mask and scrub:

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Full Disclosure - I am a "distributor" for artistry products because I use so many of their products due to amazing quality. It made sense to pay wholesale than full retail price. If you would like to purchase anything, just let me know so that I can give you a discount. This way you also don't end up paying full retail price.