Hi,

I've been pretty frustrated these past few years with my face. In recent memory, my face has been getting better. It's just it still looks awful to me. Psychologically, it's been really hard on me. I rarely look in the mirror, I don't go out much, I'm extremely camera shy, and I always feel like shit. It really sucks to be honest since I love being outside, but I haven't been going outside that much since I dropped out of high school nearly three years ago. I've been getting more and more paranoid and depressed every day. Not to mention lazy...

I'm feeling more stressed out about my skin now since I have to go to a concert in less than a month and I was hoping I would clear my face by then. You know, meet some people, talk to some girls, interacting... I just feel too ugly because my skin looks like shit. I can't imagine some beautiful woman talking to a guy like me or evening giving me the time of day. Maybe it's my paranoia talking, but I think most people are really shitty... Which is obviously a bad way of thinking.

The point is, I just wish my face was clear. I've done a lot of things to try to get my face clear. Yet my face still looks awful. I just think I have a lot of bad tenancies that is fucking up my skin.

My routine everyday

- Wake up late (around 1:00pm-5:00pm). I usually stay awake all night because I have trouble sleeping.

- Go to the bathroom. Usually masturbate first because I'm usually horny when I'm awake (I'm always horny). I also brush my teeth and wash my face.

- Find some breakfast. I usually eat fried eggs with bread everyday because that's all there is here. Sometimes I don't eat breakfast (usually because I wake up late for breakfast). I just eat some lunch.

- Use the laptop or watch TV all day.on my bed. I don't do much, I'm pretty fucking lazy.

- Eat dinner. It's usually fried chicken, rice, and beans on Mondays and Tuesdays, Spaghetti on Wednesdays, pork chops on Thursdays, and fish on Fridays. On Saturdays and Sundays, it's mostly take out. Like Domino's pizza (don't really like eating the pizza that much just like the sandwiches there), Spanish food, or Chinese food (pork fried rice with chicken wings). I don't drink a lot. When I drink, I usually drink seltzer water (or regular water if it's available). I don't usually drink soda (just once in a while). I do drink some juice though like sunny D, and Snapple at times.

-Go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I don't shower everyday, but when I do shower I usually take 30-60 minute long showers in hot water.

-Stay awake all night while using the laptop in my bed until early in the morning. I have trouble sleeping and I am easily bored.

It's not good, I know. It's hard for me to stop doing this since I've been doing this routine for the past few years now. I'm sick of using moisturizers, sun screens, Soaps, cleansers, you name it. I'm sick of doing natural stuff like drinking some green tea, or some honey or olive oil or salt water on my face. I'm sick of it.

My skin is shit for many reasons. Maybe it's because I don't sleep properly, or because I masturbate too much, or because I don't go out much, or I over wash my face, or eat shitty meals, or I don't exercise, or I pick my face too much, maybe it's because I'm always stressed out about my skin. I know what I'm doing that is causing my skin to look like this, but I don't what to do to stop making these poor decisions.

This is just me venting my feelings about my skin. I wasn't really looking for help (yeah right), but advice would be great.