hey all,

havent posted here in probably a year or two maybe more... I used to post here a lot and it was depressing and made me more depressed.. I would still think of my scars from time to time and it would upset me but not as much.

As an update... I had accutane pre 20's, am 26 now... I use tazorac 1% nightly...

my bad scars are on right cheek.. had a subcision at 22... doctor was NOT that greatest... improved some scars and left me with a linear scar... about a year later I did a dermabrasion.. this left me with redness which the area can still be sensitive at times and a bit of unevenness and did not eliminate the line scar...

anyways I moved found a new good dermatologist, have done two subcisions with so far, right cheek only... each time no side effects or negatives... and slight improvement each time on all scars subcised eXCEPt line scar which was to be expected...

My left side was always my "good" side... not great or perfect... but solid overall... never subcisded or dermabraded left... nothing...

Today I go about my day... didnt notice anything in the AM>... but today I look in the mirror and i see an area which although was not perfectly even I notice a kind of indent... nothing SHARP or jagged but a depressed rolling area on my left cheek... worse than id seen before and I am hoping it is better in a few days...

For the first time ever I am entertaining doing something to my left cheek doing subcision... I was not going to do ANYTHING this year... and let it be but I figure I can touch up the right side a bit more for further improvement... and do the left new rolling scar I see and whatever else needs to be done...

I have never done laser... dont really plan to... will NOT do dermabrasiona gain...

I dont like doing these things and would have liked to use work vacation for something else...

I am debating on doing it thanksgiving time or labor day time...i guess we will see...

Anyways, I am in a bad state right now am not crying but am a bit teary as lately the past year i have been more confident and dating more and just better in general... than seeing this today shattered my stomach.. I am pretty upset and emo... and feeling very down on myself...

I am wondering if tazorac is bad in general or too harsh for me, yet I NEED it to keep acne away.. no joke I need to still use topicals at 26 to keep things away.... Benzaclin makes my skin too red and I dont use it and tazorac actually works for the most part... but am wondering if the constant shedding of the skin is doing this.... ugh I dont know what to do anymore..

For a moment i literally almost broke down and felt COMPLETELY helpless... but I decided to collect my senses and will call my derm tomorrow to make a consult appointment and then decide on a time... he has done well with a not too aggressive subcision and good technique that hasnt caused me too much downtime...

When i first did it back at 22 with the shitty derm i had a solid 2 weeks of bruising and discoloration... with the new derm my downtime of swollenness and bruising is 3-5 days and day 5-6 am looking fairly presentable again... so is also good from a down time perspective... Anyways I wasnt planning on doing anything this year and I dont want to be "addicted" to these operations... but its upsetting my skin is having this shit happen...

Please post and let me know what you think I appreciate it.