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On 2/21/2014 at 11:19 AM, Kim28 said:I want a derm that is married to a plastic surgeon, lol! What an awesome deal!
My derm actually sent me to a plastic surgeon once before at my request. My derm is an opinionated lady - she was against my switching to Absorica, but she is also always one to listen to you, and let you try what you want if she thinks it can't hurt. So she told me the plastic surgeon wouldn't be able to help me, but I could go anyway. I did, and lo and behold, he said "I can't really help you". Their take is that the type of scars I have are best treated with lasers, but that the lasers cause skin lightening (apparently especially if you get a tan it is really noticeable), and in their opinion it is not worth it for the scarring I have.
It's a whole different boat now, though, so I might go again. It's also been ten years, so maybe all the new technology will wow me. But I doubt it. Ten years later and still back on Accutane, so nothing really changes.
BUT - Now for my happy moment!
Still no active acne. I discovered today that since I missed all those pills, my day 100 pill is now the 23rd, which is my son's fifth birthday. So we will be having a party anyway - and it will have so many awesome meanings! Beautiful perfect child, made it to day 100, and clear for a whole month by that point. SUPER yay.
Thanks for all the support, Jess and Meg. Jess I hope your back is hanging in there, and MEG - SO EXCITED ABOUT YOUR PROGRESS I AM ALL CAPS LOCKING OUT OVER HERE!
We are emerging like butterflies! Or something like that, anyway.
YEAH YEAH YEAH PROGRESS IS THE BOMB_DIGGIDY!
On 2/20/2014 at 9:11 AM, PersnickityChick said:I have noticed a lot more scars, too. I mean... I haven't had an IB, but I am suddenly noticing scars that seem to have been hidden before. And ones that were small seem bigger, for some reason. nd of course the large ones seem humongous.
Meg, I'd never have thought about the Derm v. Plastic Surgeon thing, but it does make sense. My derm is married to a plastic surgeon, so now I am very curious about her take.
Here's the thing, after my IB - I thought I was DEFINITELY scarring. Weird pitted lines, little ones that look like permanent needle points, and rolling areas. When I asked my derm about it, he said that in fact - I have no 'new' scars. He said that dehydration makes old stuff look much worse, and stuff that was barely noticable now very noticeable. I am hoping that once my skin gets it's mojo back or the dryness becomes less pronounced, things will look better.
Meg, your comment about the dehydration making old scars look worse is SOOOOO comforting to me! I think that may be a part of why catching a glimpse of myself up-close without makeup is so depressing to me right now. I HAVE been feeling like - 'hey, I don't remember those other scars looking that bad', which contributes to my general sadness about it. But if your theory is right, maybe I don't remember because they really aren't that bad? Here's hoping.
Day 104 and still super awesome! Nothing new in forever now. Healing slowly and able to wear a little less of my heavy duty makeup every day. My chapped lips, which calmed down A LOT when I had to take 6 days off my meds, (and the weather was nicer), are back full force. And my weird ear dryness (I never hear anyone but me discuss this) has gotten bad. It's where my earrings are, and I should probably just take them out, but that makes me feel weird. Currently trying to deal with it with a super thick moisturizer, since I'm not too concerned with breakouts on my ears, but maybe someday I can know that joy, lol.
Thanks for the support! Hope everyone is doing well!
Meg, your comment about the dehydration making old scars look worse is SOOOOO comforting to me! I think that may be a part of why catching a glimpse of myself up-close without makeup is so depressing to me right now. I HAVE been feeling like - 'hey, I don't remember those other scars looking that bad', which contributes to my general sadness about it. But if your theory is right, maybe I don't remember because they really aren't that bad? Here's hoping.
Day 104 and still super awesome! Nothing new in forever now. Healing slowly and able to wear a little less of my heavy duty makeup every day. My chapped lips, which calmed down A LOT when I had to take 6 days off my meds, (and the weather was nicer), are back full force. And my weird ear dryness (I never hear anyone but me discuss this) has gotten bad. It's where my earrings are, and I should probably just take them out, but that makes me feel weird. Currently trying to deal with it with a super thick moisturizer, since I'm not too concerned with breakouts on my ears, but maybe someday I can know that joy, lol.
Thanks for the support! Hope everyone is doing well!
Yay! Nothing new! 
Do you think your ear dryness has something to do with friction, or a nickel allergy?
Oh, have you heard of Theraplex Hydrolotion? It's not as greasy as Vaseline, but it'll do the same thing.
Meg, your comment about the dehydration making old scars look worse is SOOOOO comforting to me! I think that may be a part of why catching a glimpse of myself up-close without makeup is so depressing to me right now. I HAVE been feeling like - 'hey, I don't remember those other scars looking that bad', which contributes to my general sadness about it. But if your theory is right, maybe I don't remember because they really aren't that bad? Here's hoping.
Day 104 and still super awesome! Nothing new in forever now. Healing slowly and able to wear a little less of my heavy duty makeup every day. My chapped lips, which calmed down A LOT when I had to take 6 days off my meds, (and the weather was nicer), are back full force. And my weird ear dryness (I never hear anyone but me discuss this) has gotten bad. It's where my earrings are, and I should probably just take them out, but that makes me feel weird. Currently trying to deal with it with a super thick moisturizer, since I'm not too concerned with breakouts on my ears, but maybe someday I can know that joy, lol.
Thanks for the support! Hope everyone is doing well!
Hey, the ear dryness thing is happening to me every time I wear earrings! When I don't wear them, it doesn't seem to be a problem. But when I do wear them, my lobes (especially the pierced area) tend to peel and look crusty. Maybe the Iso makes our skin extra sensitive to trauma, even if it's just wearing earrings?
The news about dryness and scars showing more is music to my ears (which don't happen to be too dry at the moment). I have a lot of itty-bitty scars that never used to show. Hopefully once we're all finished, some of those things will disappear again!
Inflammation can conceal scars.
The nice thing about Accutane is, once the sebaceous glands get smaller, the oil production decreases and so does the pore size appearance a little. 
DAY 114
Whoa! I got bumped to the second page! I think that's a good sign.
BUT . . .
I HAVE A ZIT! Damn this little f----er!
Out of nowhere after over a month of beautiful perfect clear, this weird thing popped up under my eye. UNDER MY EYE! What the heck? I don't think I have ever had a zit there in my life.
However, my face was such a mess when this began, I'm not shocked that there are still a couple things yet to occur.
It doesn't really hurt unless I poke it (haha!), and it's so unusual that I'm not stressing it, which is nice. Most of the time I forget about it, because I am so much back in the mental zone of clear skin.
One thing worth sharing. I lost my blistex medicated for a few days and it was terrible. My lips split and bled, and I got that split right at the corner of your mouth that hurts like a b---ch. The whole time I was piling on everything else I could find including carmex, a decent one from nivea, and one from la roche that is RECOMMENDED for people on Accutane in the description on the box. These things are all s--t in comparison to blistex medicated. Got it back and my lips went back to not bleeding in a day. Of all the things I use whilst on Accutane (which is really not very many anyway), I recommend blistex medicated the most. It was a saviour nine years ago on my first course, and it is still the best thing going.
I will update on my tragic eyeball zit. It's kind of my friend, like the last of the Mohicans or something.
I am sorry about your eyeball pimple 
Is it under your eye, like...your cheek bone, or is it literally under your eye, like in the rim of your eye? If it's a stye, those things are awful, but I hear they are a pretty common side-effect of accutane (I thought I had one, but it ended up going away on its own after a day). Maybe try a hot compress?
Also...I am thrilled that you had an entire month of clarity! WOOHOO! THAT is super cool. It's so encouraging to hear you say that the one break-out isn't bumming you out too much because you're kind of used to being clear now, that means that accutane is helping psychologically as well as physically! I can't wait for that outcome. I imagine that's how people with clear skin think about their outbreaks, like "Oh poo...I have a pimple. Sigh. Guess I'll break out the concealor...where did I put that stuff anyway?" 
I can't wait to think like that 
Yay for you!
Hey there Meg, Jess, JJ, and Michelle.
JJ - so glad to hear things are going well.
Meg - sucks to your dosage increase causing trouble! Just think it is all coming up and out and it will not be back.
Jess - The tube says 'Blistex Medex'. I don't know why I thought it was called Blistex Medicated - my brain filling in the missing letters, I guess. It's dark blue - is that the one you use too?! That is awesome. Seriously. My lips are still crappy, but I never realized just how crappy they COULD be until I lost it.
Michelle - your acne story is a mystery to me, but I love your brain
POP!
And so went the eyeball zit to zit heaven, which is made for zits like this that don't hurt, can be covered with makeup pretty nicely, can be forgotten during the day, don't bring friends, and resolve within a few days without force.
Accutane style, the top of it dried up and came off and then it just sort of blah-ed in a conclusive way. Now it is flat, but a more pronounced dark red, because you never win with this darn acne.
It has been report card season at my work, and parent teacher interviews start tomorrow. Last parent teachers was when my IB was starting to get bad, and I was so embarrassed. I think it's even in my log somewhere. This time I am such a different person. The freedom to think deeply about the now is a big thing.
Jess - The tube says 'Blistex Medex'. I don't know why I thought it was called Blistex Medicated - my brain filling in the missing letters, I guess. It's dark blue - is that the one you use too?! That is awesome. Seriously. My lips are still crappy, but I never realized just how crappy they COULD be until I lost it.
The one I use is in a white tube, with dark lettering, and a red symbol on it. It says Blistex Medicated. Now I am wondering about the stuff in the blue tube, though. The blistex Medicated has menthol in it, and I like the cool feeling, especially when my lips are burning from being chapped. Another thing I discovered is that I get the skin soft with Aquaphor, I can very gently rub my lips with a wet washcloth, and they exfoliate beautifully without leaving me terribly raw. Then the aquaphor and blistex combination is even better at keeping the lips soft.
Lol! I was just at the pharmacy the other day and I saw the white tube one you're talking about. Of course I had to buy it. I read the ingredients, and it seems to be quite similar to the blue one. The big difference is that the white one is more creamy and the blue one is more vaseline-ish?
Now I have started to layer them, and it is super fab (where super fab means my lips are not bleeding). First the creamy one, and then a layer of the other one over top seems to work really well. I might have to write a thank you letter to blistex after this course: "dear blistex - thank you for making the crappiest lips of my life just slightly less crappy"
Log wise, it is day 120, and I am still clear and loving it. Still annoyed that the red spots are fading so slow, but I can live with that as they really have started to show a bit of improvement.
On the side effect side, my night blindness has gotten a bit worse, which was already a permanent side effect for me from my first course. I'm hoping it will level off a bit after I stop the meds, but I went into it knowing this might be a price I would have to pay. So it goes - trading one weird issue for another. So far it hasn't affected my day vision, so I am not too worried.
I am going to have to go on Payday and see if I can get the one in the blue tube. The white tube works GREAT under aquaphor, and I guess that kind of makes it like the one in the blue tube?
The night blindness thing scares me a lot, since I never had great night vision anyway. Last night, driving after dark with 1 contact out was terrifying for me. I made it, driving like a 95 yr old woman. Really hope that will ease off for you, and not just become worse.
I got the Blistex Medex. I've used it twice so far, and it seems to work pretty well. It is kind of like Vick's Vap-o-Rub for the lips. And it smells nice, too!
I got the Blistex Medex. I've used it twice so far, and it seems to work pretty well. It is kind of like Vick's Vap-o-Rub for the lips. And it smells nice, too!
Day 130something. Too lazy to go look at my pill pack to check. Skin is lovely. Red marks are slowly fading. No zits in forever. Starting to think about my end game.
My derm is not big on going much over 120 (despite all the hype - she says it's nonsense and I tend to agree). I think we have settled on a 7 month course, which will put me around 130, and I'm happy with that. That gives me 2 more months of fearlessness. I remember being very afraid about what would happen when I stopped taking it last time, and I'm sure it will be the same this time. Just a little over two months, and I'm back into the unknown.
Just a thought. I had a tooth extracted today. It was a molar that I previously had a root canal done on. It's a long story, but I somehow ended up with decay under my crown. Trying to save the tooth would have been an exercise in (very expensive) futility.
I am super pissed off and ouchy about this.
And in some weird, sick way, I am HAPPY that this is my biggest problem right now.
Strange that acne is such a bitch, I would rather have my molars extracted than have acne. Life is some messed up stuff sometimes.
Oh - but here's a funny part. I told the dentist about the Accutane of course, and he wasn't concerned regarding the extraction. But, while removing the crown, he had to stop every 5 minutes or so to let me put vaseline on my lips, because they kept drying out and sticking to his tools. I apologized a lot. It was a little embarrassing.
Day 150-something.
Saw the derm. She barely looked at my face, and we mostly talked about my tooth and what a pain dental work is. Usually she get right up close and makes weird faces while looking at my zits, so it was nice. There was nothing to get up close and look at.
She had originally said a six month course. I did the math, and that was putting me a little under 120, so I decided I ought to do 7 months. I said on here that's what I was doing so as to convince myself it was true, and increase my confidence in demanding it.
I went into that office with such attitude - you WILL give me another month, WOMAN!
I said "hey, 6 months will put me a little under 120". She made her classic strange face like she was doing some random head math and said "Oh, yes. If you want to do 7 and get over 120 that's fine".
HMPH! I had prepared such a strong argument! I had research to cite, and demands to make! And she was all "sure, no problem".
So now I don't have that to worry me, so that is nice, I guess. Then she went on a delightful rant about tooth decay and general health - "didn't you feel AWESOME after you had it out?". Not really, but maybe I will soon, lol. She appears to be into the theory that dental decay causes inflammatory responses in the body to increase. I like that theory, so it was fun to chat. A couple visits ago we spent a lot of time talking about how microwaves mutate food and should be avoided at all costs. She's the one that didn't think I should bother with Absorica, because it's just a drug company scam to get around the generic versions. "Just eat some food" she said. "No" I said. "Fine" she said, and wrote me a script.
Tonight I have book club! Book club has been like an acne meter to me. I plan to never tell my book club that. It started the month that my cysts really started to return. It happens once a month.
My skin was pretty darn decent for the first meeting.
By the second meeting I was nervous about a few bumps.
By the third meeting I was wearing 2 layers of foundation and praying for darkness and far away spaced chairs.
By the fourth meeting, I pretended I had car trouble and didn't go.
By the fifth meeting, I had some serious makeup, but I made it.
By the sixth meeting, I was feeling pretty good.
At the seventh meeting, I didn't really think about my acne, although it was the day after I got this weird one under my eye after a long time of clear. I found it funny and ironic that it showed up for book club. It is a nice feeling to find a zit funny and ironic.
Today I am clear. Even my red marks have faded quite a bit. It's not always the first thing I see in the mirror anymore.
For anyone who's not there yet: it gets so much better. Accutane kept me clear for almost ten years the first time, and I am hoping for these results again. It may not be a cure for me, but it is still the awesomest. I get frustrated sometimes reading the posts of people who act like acne is supposed to just 'go away'. Sure it does for some people, but for many it is a disorder that we have that will indeed require some maintenance through life. The fact that drugs like Accutane and Diane exist to help me live a normal life is super great, and I don't take that for granted, or think I "shouldn't have to be the one" that has to do this. There are so many people out there suffering with chronic diseases and I am no different from them.
That is a rant that I had to get out.
Now I'm going to go and take a nap, and then get ready for book club. My little one is at a b-day party with his dad, and it is so relaxing here.
Clear over here.
You. Me. Five second happy dance party.
You may not see it, but if you could, you would see me doing the Snoopy happy dance on your behalf. You should do one too!
Congrats! I am so happy for you, and I am so ready to get to that point! I'm at day 107, and it's amazing to wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror without IMMEDIATELY thinking about how I am going to cover my face with gobs of concealer.