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WOW.. that sounds like quite a fun night! except for the 17 creepy guys you encountered. "white man shuffle?" that sounds about accurate. its better than the bum-attack form of dancing.. where they just try to attach themselves to your rear (has that ever worked for any man?)
Oh my god - eew, I hate it when they do that!!!! No, it never works, do they actually think that any woman likes that????
some other weird guy began to tell me how strong his toes was because he did yoga, then proceeded to pinch me with his toes and then dare me to knock him over.
What a weirdo. What was he trying to prove, that he has the strongest toes in the world? LOL! like "hey, baby, my biceps are small, but my toes, well, they are soooo strong!"
this makes me wonder, how exactly did 1/3 of your classmates get knocked up in a crowd like this?
@tiad123: yeah, I've had the same thing happen to me too. The worst was at a school dance when I was still a little fourteen-year-old virgin and some older dude felt like it was alright to hump me in public. Instead of freezing though, I ran away. To this day, I am still scarred from it.
@trottschic: Thanks! I'm flattered that I can brighten someone's day. I thought about journalism, although I doubt I'd be good at it (sticking straightly to the truth when it comes to boring topics is not a strong suit of mine.) Although, I do write long, overly complicated stories, then torture my mother into proof-reading them, then hoard them all in a folder on my computer like a squirrel hoarding nuts.
@sunnicali: those chicks in my grade that are knocked up a they're not exactly top-of-the-barrel material either
DAY EIGHTY-THREE:
Okay, fuck, I don't know if I'm going into month three or month four of accutane. Day 83. What is that? Am I almost into month four????? Why can't I remember how long I've been on this drug? Accutane is making me stupider. I spent thirty minutes looking for a cup of coffee yesterday that I put in the microwave.
Today, my father started having a very long-winded conversation about the TV show Ice-Road Truckers. He began by telling me all about the first season's challenges. Then the second season's. Then onto the third season's. I was beginning to wonder what the whole part of this story was when he finally got around to telling me that one of the ice-road truckers looks EXACTLY like me. Which, I found flattering, because I thought they were all men. Well, apparently there's a chick in there. I googled her. She doesn't look a thing like me. I'm suspecting my father has cataracts. Plus, every story he tells is like a Simpson's episode (minus the hilarity). It starts with one story, then veers off in a totally different direction.
Moisturizing tip peeps: if your skin is really dry, slather on your choice of moisturizer while your skin is still WET. Somehow, it absorbs better. For the past few nights, I've been having a shitload of dry skin EVERYWHERE gunking up on my face when I wash it and it wasn't coming off, so I take a cotton ball and sort of rub it all off and then when my skin is still damp, I put on cetaphil.
Weird side effect: Insane muscle sensitivities. I threw out my arm putting on a shirt this morning and last night threw out my neck reaching under the cupboard for listerine.
Onwards to my skin, which is looking remarkable good. I believe this is month three, so good times. Good skin kind of creeps up on you. For those people who want clear skin overnight, well, you Sir, are out of your freaking mind. At first, I noticed that there was only two cysts on my face. Then, I realized that no new ones had popped up so sprightly from their cozy little underground caves. It's been a week, and I no longer have any cysts. YES!!!! There's a little one beside my mouth, one right where my glasses rub and another above my eyebrow. The one where my glasses rub keeps getting larger and smaller. Every time I see it getting larger, I think of in Monty Python when John Clesse goes, aoeNow, go away, or I will taunt you a second time.a Besides those zits, that's it. When the doctor at the beginning of the course told me that it would take months to see improvement because there's already cysts lurking underneath there that wouldn't rear their ugly heads until weeks later, I died a little inside. But now, those weeks have passed and the cysts have evacuated as planned. A few of them left scars and marks, but fuck 'em. Worst part's over.
And then, the other night, I went to this party. It was some weird thing where everyone had to bring presents and then we did a swap thing, like Pirate Christmas, only five months too late (because my friend didn't get a Christmas this year, so he decided to do it now.) There was also something to do with having to do shots every time you got a certain present (pretty sure my friend was making the rules up by this point), and due to my sensitive liver nature whilst on this drug, I had to compensate and do lemon-juice shots. Which turned me kind of red, so I looked drunk anyways. Actually, I looked more like I had lupus. And I got this butt-ugly, USELESS, dream-catcher to go along with it (plus a gift card, so I can't really complain).
Since my skin's looking better, I'd say a progress-pic is in order, and while you're at it, you can take a look at the dream catcher. That's two treats for the price of one!
I swear to God, I'm the least photogenic person on the planet. You know how there's those people who can hold the camera out in front of the, smile, and click! they look great a yeah, not me. Tried that once. I always end up looking like a crack whore. And my cheekbones are all concave and there's bones jutting out around my eyes that I didn't even know existed. It's like looking in a mirror at Old Navy. So, I've given up on the concept entirely.
@time_traveler and missmooshoo: Thanks!
DAY EIGHTY-FOUR:
Hmm... it appears that I have gotten a zit on my boob of all places. I'd post a picture, but it might be a little racy for this site...
I worked for eight hours today. Reception. Doing absolutely nothing. The most aoeworka I did was vacuuming a carpet. No shit. I wrote about ten pages of a story. That was about the most productive thing I did. I felt like a melting, useless puddle of goo. I wanted to go for a jog to get my mind off the boredom. If I was a receptionist my entire life, I would spiral downwards into major depression and get really fat.
But now, onto when work got slightly interesting. My friend has these chocolates which she swears contains a full day's serving of vegetables. So I got her to give me one, because these things seem too good to be true. Well, first off, this chocolate was super-icky. At first, it tasted like normal, then it tasted like amplified aspartame, so I swallowed it, but the taste stuck around, right at the back of my tongue and my mouth felt like it was coated in lotion. So I drank some water to try and get rid of the taste, but it just made the taste even MORE prominent (which, my friend tells me now, that's what it's supposed to do) so I kept chugging and gargling water and finally the taste went away. Then, I began to browse wikipedia and ended up on the time travel page, when suddenly, the chocolate kicked in and I felt like I was stoned out of my mind. I'm wondering what was really in that chocolate and where my friend actually acquired them. So, I'm reading up on time travel, and starting to get all paranoid and questioning the existence of everything and if I'm really here and what if I spontaneously time travelled and killed me own mother. Would it kill me, or make me invincible? And just as this paranoia is reaching its climax, the fucking phone rings and I literally jumped out of my chair and screamed. Because, the first thought that went through my mind was that it was my future self calling to tell me that I was right about everything. I do not recommend eating this chocolate.
Anyways, doctor's appointment on Friday, and some jam-night at the bar tomorrow and perhaps climbing wall on Sunday. I don't know how that climbing wall is going to turn out with all the accutane soreness, but we'll see. We'll see.
@faithinhim: Yay! We can be un-photogenic together! Although you never look terrible in any of the pictures I've seen of you
@vampireninja and herecomesthesun: Thank-ya!
DAY EIGHTY-SIX:
No Pants Day today! So, I spent the day in rainbow leopard-print leggings simply because it was too cold to just wear boxer shorts.
I'm a bad person. I went to to doctor's today for my monthly renewal of this miracle drug. While waiting in the doctor's office (for an ungodly amount of time, in my defence) I kept looking at this chart of a digestive system and the woman on it looked EXACTLY like the queen. So, I grabbed a pen and did some clever re-structuring of the title above the picture, so it now says, ‚Å“The Queens Digestive System.‚ Haha. I've done worse.
Since I saw a different doctor when I was out at college, my normal doctor hadn't seen me yet and thought that I was coming here asking to start accutane and that I didn't need to because my skin was fine. While it was flattering that I think back to it now, I'm pretty sure I almost burst into tears right there at the thought of being cut off from the good stuff. I think when she saw my facial expression, she quickly reconsidered and gave me my prescription (and then she said that my course would be five months instead of four because of the cumulative dose shit.) Phew. Pretty sure I was going to barf there. She also thought that I should go on ADD meds (since I do have ADD and am rather fidgety and somehow went off a weird tangent about hot dogs and excessive arm pit hair growth while talking about my zits, I don't know how exactly, but I tend to babble on at doctor's office's.**) I also gained a bit of weight, since I was dangerously low after getting weighed in month one (something like 93 pounds) but I can now proudly say that I'm sitting at a comfortable 101 pounds. Triple digits. Haven't seen that since I was fifteen.
**And when I babble on, it's not good. If you ever try making conversation with me, I'll make it extra awkward unintentionally. Especially when I try to ask a question, my mouth will move faster than my tongue, so I end up with these long words that have combined six smaller words, only in a different order, thus making me repeat the sentence at least three times before it's even understandable. It's like stuttering, only I don't stutter, my mind just thinks too fast to keep up. And then I'll start talking louder and louder while combining these six or so words, then realize it and start talking quietly. So, a sentence asking, ‚Å“What did you go to school for?‚ will end up like ‚Å“SchooldidYOUGOIMEAN ‚œ WHATdidyougooinFOR-SKIV???‚ Really, I'm not retarded.
Perhaps it was all karma for vandalizing the digestive system tract at the doctor's office.**And when I babble on, it's not good. If you ever try making conversation with me, I'll make it extra awkward unintentionally. Especially when I try to ask a question, my mouth will move faster than my tongue, so I end up with these long words that have combined six smaller words, only in a different order, thus making me repeat the sentence at least three times before it's even understandable. It's like stuttering, only I don't stutter, my mind just thinks too fast to keep up. And then I'll start talking louder and louder while combining these six or so words, then realize it and start talking quietly. So, a sentence asking, œWhat did you go to school for? will end up like œSchooldidYOUGOIMEAN “ WHATdidyougooinFOR-SKIV??? Really, I'm not retarded.
so if I say " can you repeat that ", you'll repeat it six times 
DAY NINETY:
Start of month four. How I made it this far, we do not know.
I went to pick up my prescription and I guess the doctor gave me two months worth of meds, so... do I have to go back to the doctor???? I mean, I'm covered until the end of my course and really don't want to sit at the doctor's office for an hour, only to hear that I'm doing aoefine.a Unless, of course, my triglycerides go out of whack. Hmm... I also got a different brand of accutane. I'm no longer a Claravis-user. I was popping out the pills and looking at the pouch and was all like aoeWhaaat?a followed by a long moment of confusion, wondering if I was even taking the right medication.
Am I the only person that doesn't get accutane prescribed by a derm? I just have my regular old doctor. I've never even been to a dermatologist!
This rash on my arms and legs is also unfavourable. Also, some woman complimented me on my aoeperfecta cuticles at the pharmacy. It must be the Cetaphil.
In other news, I had an excellent past few days involving my best friend and her sex life. See, she enjoys frequently telling me graphic details of her sex life, which is traumatizing, to say the least, becasue her boyfriend is this repulsive little snot that I dubbed aoeThe Rabbita back in high school and the thought of him even coming close to me makes my skin crawl. So, why ANYONE would let him even touch you is beyond me, but somehow she manages without vomiting everywhere. So, on Friday, she starts going on... and on... and this is all on the phone, so I'm holding the receiver at an arm's length away so I don't have to listen, when all of a sudden she asks if she can come over. I ask what for and she says she wants to come over to use a pregnancy test because she didn't want to take it at home in case her mom found it. I wanted to tell her to take the test in the freaking public bathrooms behind the bank, but fine, fine, you can come over. So she takes the test, it comes back negative, then she asks if she can keep the other test that was in the box in my room incase she has to take another one sometime. I ask her why she can't take it home with her and she says that she doesn't want her mom to find it. Fine. I said that she could go and hide it up in my room, I just didn't want to know where it was (plus, I was thisclose to punching her out right then.) Okay, so she hides it, it's done with, she goes home, la ti da. Fast forward to today. I'm schlubbing out on the couch playing x-box when my brother comes downstairs and goes, aoeHey a uh a I think you should talk to mom.a Now, he sounded concerned. Really concerned. So concerned that I actually paused my game in order to look at him. I'm like aoeWhat abouta and he goes, aoeI think you have a problem.a Now, I thought back over the previous few weeks trying to figure out if I did anything desperately stupid and draw a blank, and ask, aoeWhat problem?a He's looking really uncomfortable now and says, aoeI found something in your room that I really think you should talk to Mom about.a I frantically think if there's any long-forgotten bags of weed from my teenage years up in my room, then concluded that it was smoked long ago, so that couldn't possibly be it. After a long period of thinking, it finally clicks that he found my friend's fucking pregnancy test in there. Well done with that hiding spot. I swear, if she wasn't my friend...
Anyways a skin wise: looking very nice. No cysts at all. But there's some red marks from old ones that used to reside on my cheeks. I just hope that they're not as prominent after accutane is over and done with. Apart from that, there's one on the earlobe (WTF?) and a couple on my chin.
Hmm... I'm starting up baseball on Thursday, which probably is one of the worst idea's I've ever had. From the accutane joint pain to the sunburning to the fact that I am about as coordinated as a blind gorilla with three legs, it should all spell out disaster. And did I mention that I'm replacing someone who quit because she broke her nose on the first day of practice? Yeah, I did now.
Once I read the story I think I died from laughter then resurrected. With friends like that who need enemies 
and why was your brother in the premises of your room , I would've knocked my brother out if he ever into my room with no permission. I assume you threw the test away right?
Baseball eh? I havent played that since HS, its fun...till you get hit with a 85mph fastball in the back 
better start hitting the bat cages if you dont wanna look like moron just standing at homeplate 
Baseball eh? I havent played that since HS, its fun...till you get hit with a 85mph fastball in the back
Unfortunately, I live in a small town, so batting cages are a foreign concept here. But one time I did ram a baseball into my mother's knee one time. So that's some practice.
I dont think you should be holding a bat in the future...
If that's the case, I probably shouldn't be holding a lot of things in the future. I shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere near the vicinity of a knife, and most certainly should not get behind the wheel of a car. Oh yes, and I should avoid staircases at all costs. Lots of incidents there.
Accutane sucks, but it's awesome at the same time.
If that's the case, I probably shouldn't be holding a lot of things in the future. I shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere near the vicinity of a knife, and most certainly should not get behind the wheel of a car. Oh yes, and I should avoid staircases at all costs. Lots of incidents there.
Theres accident waiting to happen when youre around I take it. 