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Hey RCR,
Was reading through your log and must say good on ya buddy. What a huge improvement another couple of months and you will be out playing the field like a crackfiend sucking wang for a fix.
You deff have a strong mentallity. I get one or two small cysts and I hide out in my room for weeks on end. Fuck i couldnt even bring myself to go to nightschool... I dunno I guess im hugely vain.
Anyways just wanted to say congrats man someone with such a positive outlook deff deserves it.
BTW. If attitudes reflected appearance you'd deff be a Johnny Depp or a Tom Cruise, im not a fag or playing for the pink team just wanted to let ya'know.
Cheers mofo.
Your skin is lookin so good, wow! I have a question about dosage - I asked my derm about higher dosage claravis pills so I can cut down on the excessive packaging that ends up in my trash each month. I have to take 3 of the 40mg pills each day, so I basically end up throwing out one of those big packages every week. She told me that claravis only comes in 40mg increments. You're on 60mg, is that in one pill? Is she holding out on me??? lol 
Your skin is really looking lots better. I am so glad it seems you have this under control. Are you still washing those pillowcases?? I think I suggested that and really believe it helps. I would suggest, like the previous poster, using the mederma or somthing to help prevent scarring.
It will get loads better and you know, your diet is very important. You cannot forget your vegetables. I know... the starving collage student story, but McDonalds even has a .99 cent salad you could force down occasionally. Buy a six pack of vitamin enhanced water. Propel is good, somthing to keep you healthy.
Sorry, I sound like mommy here but yep I think I am probably old enough to be mommy. lol.
Peace. 
yeah i don't get as much vegginess as I use to but i do try and drink this stuff called V8 fusion and that "says" a glass is worth a serving of veggies 
. I dont buy bottled water because i invested in a decent water filter to put on the sink in my room because i drink a ton of water and bottled water is just to expensive on my budget to buy often.
I dont mind you being mom-ish bc as much as i love my moms she has a mental block about my condition and wont even talk about it, and if she does its never in a positive manner
I totally keep forgetting to update this like i use to .... Good or Bad im not sure
Alright to all my loyal readers (you best not be cheating on me with other logs 
)
I want to pose some questions, and I want yall to take it very seriously. I want completely honest, unrestrained, cold hearted if necessary answers. I dont want you to think that a painful truth will hurt my psyche in any way shape or form because it wont. Give it to me straight peoples.
Ok now this may seem trivial, and completely out of character to those who have come to know me over the course of my log, but every year for the past couple years I do a reality check, and reset. I restate my assumptions, my beliefs, my attitudes, and my self image. Now part of my reset involves input from people who i can trust to tell me what is and not what I want to hear. I want to include yall in the self image part of this process. So if you would be so obliged to participate here we go.
Pictures are easiet to find HERE as follows:
Start of Treatment - Pg 1 : Post # 1
End of Month 1 - Pg 3 : Post # 47
End of Month 2 - Pg 4 : Post # 72
End of Month 4 - Pg 5 : Post # 83
Before Devestation Pictures - Pg 5 : Post # 91
Based on these pictures please answer these questions.
1) Do you find me attractive physically overall, why or why not?
2) Best physical attribute and why?
3) Worst physical attribute and why?
4) What improvements would you put into effect if you were me and why?
5) Based on progressive improvement from pictures do you think I should expect to ever look like i did in my before pictures? If not what should I expect?
Thanks i really appreciate you reading and hopefully responding, and i look forward to your answers either here, or PMed if you dont feel comfortable lambasting me in public
Based on these pictures please answer these questions.1) Do you find me attractive physically overall, why or why not?
2) Best physical attribute and why?
3) Worst physical attribute and why?
4) What improvements would you put into effect if you were me and why?
5) Based on progressive improvement from pictures do you think I should expect to ever look like i did in my before pictures? If not what should I expect?
Thanks i really appreciate you reading and hopefully responding, and i look forward to your answers either here, or PMed if you dont feel comfortable lambasting me in public 🙂
I'm curious why you're asking these questions...I read your explanation, and I don't buy it :naughty: This is like the girl who asks her boyfriend do I look fat in these jeans...skinny, fat, short, tall its never a good idea.
Ahh Jen at least you're being critical lol
I honestly do have a reset every year since i stopped drinking as a preemptive measure not to fall into old habits by becoming complacent. Usually i do the whole thing with a group of adults that i became extremely close to through Youth Ministry, but i havent been really in contact with them as much as i would have hoped to be eventually i will have to get back down to austin to talk to them and my priest about the direction of my faith. I thought since besides the people here at UTSA who i dont feel would be honest with me. yall have seen my progression, and i feel that i could get honest answers. It might not seem like a good idea to you but its part of a process that has kept me sober for a couple years now, helped me keep tightly bound to my faith, and helped me maintain as sense of reality to ground my rampant idealistic tendancies.
I hope that satisfies your curiosity, if not feel free to keep asking.
btw what is the right answer to "do i look fat in these jeans?" lol ...
Ahh Jen at least you're being critical lol
Brat!
I hope that satisfies your curiosity, if not feel free to keep asking. 🙂btw what is the right answer to "do i look fat in these jeans?" lol ...
I think I was more curious about the physical nature of your questions. I think its a great idea to reassess, just not sure why you asked if people thought you were physically attractive/worst attribute. That's not really something you can change if someone were to say no...
There is no right answer...dumb is the girl who asks if she looks fat 😀
well the thing is this i've never done the testimonial part over the internet before so i thought i would use the aspect that is easiest to respond to without knowing me and having background with me. I like to get a idea of how people see me so its not really about change so much as its grounding my inner image, with honest testimonials, b/c in the past i might have once been referred to as vain narcasistic asswipe. It might not as necessary now given the present circumstance, but i'm a creature of habit, and as well as this process as a whole has worked i dont really feel the need to change it.
So the answer is "You're dumb"? lol jk
well the thing is this i've never done the testimonial part over the internet before so i thought i would use the aspect that is easiest to respond to without knowing me and having background with me. I like to get a idea of how people see me so its not really about change so much as its grounding my inner image, with honest testimonials, b/c in the past i might have once been referred to as vain narcasistic asswipe. It might not as necessary now given the present circumstance, but i'm a creature of habit, and as well as this process as a whole has worked i dont really feel the need to change it.So the answer is "You're dumb"? lol jk
😆
I definitely think the process is awesome, especially for a guy your age. If only all of humanity would reassess and stop being vain narcissistic asswipes we could probably actually get RP elected president!
The girl asking if she looks fat isn't looking to reassess usually, very few actually would be able to hear yes, and just go change really quickly without getting feelings hurt, even the most confident. Given that logic, it puts a guy in a REALLY tough spot...he's left with the dilemma, is this one of the like 1% of girls that really wants me to answer, can handle it, and won't punish me for the rest of the night if I tell her the truth. Almost always he has to err on the side of hell no, tell her the safe answer and move on.
I've changed my stance on the Moment of Truth show...I think you'd do quite well, genuinely. Even though I think you're probably in the 1% now that you've explained, I still think you'll get people who tell you what they believe you want to hear. Being honest is one of the hardest things to do, for most people (and imo, the most respectable)...still it could be a nifty experiment in the "Log and Times of the River City Ranger" :catdance:
If you're doing a spiritual and internal reassessment, why are all your questions about your physical appearance? Just curious... 
As I don't find that the most important part of someone (obviously appearance is the first thing one notices when one meets face to face). In your case, your personality that has shown in these pages of your log is terrific and I do not think it should be changed excessively. Focus on your upbeat personality, your grace under pressure, your faith, and continuing reassessments of your spiritual growth, not your physical appearance. Though I have to say there's nothing wrong with your physical appearance, either. You're an adorable young man and if I weren't old enough to be your mommy and married to boot, I'd likely give you a bit of a run for your money, youngster.
Okay, I'll answer since I think I can give you a bit of constructive opinions without being harsh.
I think you have good bone structure and nice big eyes which no one can buy... ok maybe big bucks. These things you should play upon. Nice color of eyes also which many would kill for. My brothers and sister all have blue and green eyes. Me, I got brown, have to make the best of it.
The beard... honestly gives your face an unkept look, so at least trim it real short if you can't or don't want to shave it off since it may honestly camoflague some of the healing marks. Trim the heck out of it till it is very short. BE CAREFUL with the scissors.
Colgate or Crest? whitestrips will make your nice teeth and smile a bit brighter. This is one thing I always am judgmental about... can't help it and I know I have some stains I should deal with myself. Women love nice very white teeth.
Doubtfully the skin will ever be 15 year old smooth again, but you can get it close.... Hey I am a realistic optimist at best. Might take a few years and yep, maybe some lasers and peels. It should improve alot on its own.
Feeling comfortable in ones own skin somehow will show through to others so when we having a very low self esteem day? it may show but the look in your eye, body language, etc. Confidence is a good thing, and it does not hurt when you are feeling down to tell yourself good things about yourself or REMIND YOURSELF. You may want to make sure no one is around to hear you or they may think you have lost it.
Did I forget anything?? I am trying to remember. Still yes, wash that hair everyday, keep it short and neat as well as the beard. Whiten teeth and eat a good diet. Meanwhile I plan on smoking a cigarette and having a cup of coffee. 
Peace.
I think you and Jen asked the same question Wynne, maybe have a double take of Jen's inquery to my intentions? If not i'll try and re explain it.
Thanks trying still, I'll definitely look into white strips, I have been drinking coffee more regularly since i got to college and that probably has taken a toll on the chompers.
I'll definitely be keeping my hair short, and i'll try some beard trimming after my next visit home, because i promised one friend that hasnt seen it yet that i wouldn't cut it until i saw them.
Its probable that alot of people think i've already lost it lol with the whole devout catholicism and wild beard one of my friends back home asked when i'm going to start living off honey and locusts ala John the Baptist
Keep em coming peoples
Hi there,
just wanted to say that I have read your log (in bits and parts) and was floored by your wonderful attitude and faith.
You said that this assesment "helped me maintain as sense of reality to ground my rampant idealistic tendancies" Curious as to what those rampant idealistic tendancies are? 
Anyway I will answer ur questions......
1) Do you find me attractive physically overall, why or why not?
Yes I do, you have great eyes-- and how tall r u?
2) Best physical attribute and why?
Hmmmm this one I'm not sure of
3) Worst physical attribute and why?
I agree that you should trim the beard.... I'm all for longer hair sometimes, and I like facial hair too- but I think trimming it would look great.
4) What improvements would you put into effect if you were me and why?
Honestly, your attitude is great, and it really shines through. And as was previously mentioned (and I know from experience) your skin will continue to get better and better, and the marks will fade with time (and or some cosmetic help). Overall you are a catch.
5) Based on progressive improvement from pictures do you think I should expect to ever look like i did in my before pictures? If not what should I expect?
Hmmmm....don't expect--- just know it's gonna get better and better and better--- don't look back.
hey I'm happy to help you out with some opinions 
1) Do you find me attractive physically overall, why or why not? Yes you are cute, the younger pics of you you look really cute too. But yeh I'm more into dark features on guys so I'm not the best to judge hehe
2) Best physical attribute and why? Your eyes, although when your skin starts to clear better your face structure will come back out to proper view. : )
3) Worst physical attribute and why? The beard I agree also, I know it's a good at hiding stuff but yeh trim it a bit, it can look scruffy and make you look more messy when longer.
4) What improvements would you put into effect if you were me and why? #1 Fix beard, #2 I was going to say get a haircut but you got one recently I saw, looks heaps better.
5) Based on progressive improvement from pictures do you think I should expect to ever
look like i did in my before pictures? If not what should I expect? Believe you won't and the mind is a very powerful thing! control it, don't let it control you.
Hey man, I am just gonna go out and give you the whole truth.
At first when I saw your beginning photos I was almost sick, your acne had taken control of your face and really was impossible to ignore or even overlook.
But now, even after this short time you look so much better, I am a dude so I will try and keep it strictly hetero (lol) But you could really see huge improvements. Keep going man.