I put so much effort into desensitizing myself to my facial scarring, attempting to convince myself that "it's not that bad", that "it suits me", that "it adds character" and such. I'll stare at myself in the mirror for long periods of time, viewing my skin from different angles and lighting conditions, just trying to get used to having scars.

This works to some extent. I don't mind the scars as much as I used to; if my self from two years ago could get a glimpse of me, he'd be horrified. It's taken a long time to grow accustomed to the change. This worries me though. Most people will put no effort into trying to look past the scarring. I could work at acceptance for years, and then a girl could easily walk past me one day and murmer "ew" to herself as she saw my face.

I find this thought kind of infuriating. I know it's unavoidable that people will be shallow, but it worries how skewed my perception of my looks must be. I don't even want to imagine how other people must see me--either long time friends or people I'm meeting for the first time. I'm thankful every day that I'm not telepathic; that would be too painful to bear (I assume).