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2 hours ago, Koloz said:I highly doubt you're going too see young girls 14-22 dating guys with severe disfiguring acne like I just got over having. I'm still very insecure about my face and body as whole so no dating anytime soon. I have considered getting an escort.
Speak for yourself, dude. When I was in middle school and high school, I had a devastating crush on a guy who had cystic acne just like you described--on his face, chest, and back. Looking back, he wasn't even remarkably charming or charismatic, but I honestly lusted over that kid. And during my undergrad, I similarly crushed on a T.A. in the physics department (a nerd by every definition) with cystic acne and plenty of scarring for years...even still to this day. I thought they were hot then and (at 28) still think they're hot now.
5 hours ago, SkinDeeply said:Speak for yourself, dude. When I was in middle school and high school, I had a devastating crush on a guy who had cystic acne just like you described--on his face, chest, and back. Looking back, he wasn't even remarkably charming or charismatic, but I honestly lusted over that kid. And during my undergrad, I similarly crushed on a T.A. in the physics department (a nerd by every definition) with cystic acne and plenty of scarring for years...even still to this day. I thought they were hot then and (at 28) still think they're hot now.
Welll acne usually = higher testosterone. Maybe its a coincidence but most of the guys I've dated with perfect skin have been more meek and subdued and the ones with acne have been more " manly".
I've seen lots of guys with noticeable acne out with girlfriends. I have a friend with pretty severe acne who we t out with and married a guy with totally clear skin. He pursued her. So its definitely a case of, any people with acne who can overcome the fears will be successful in dating.
8 hours ago, SkinDeeply said:Speak for yourself, dude. When I was in middle school and high school, I had a devastating crush on a guy who had cystic acne just like you described--on his face, chest, and back. Looking back, he wasn't even remarkably charming or charismatic, but I honestly lusted over that kid. And during my undergrad, I similarly crushed on a T.A. in the physics department (a nerd by every definition) with cystic acne and plenty of scarring for years...even still to this day. I thought they were hot then and (at 28) still think they're hot now.
I don't know, I just have never seen couples like that before in real life anywhere. Girls and guys avoided me in school because of it. I think its more common to see a girl dating a fat guy over someone with a disfiguring facial disease.
Just now, Koloz said:I don't know, I just have never seen couples like before in real life anywhere. Girls and guys avoided me in school because of it. I think its more common to see a girl dating a fat guy over someone with a disfiguring facial disease.
do you live in a small town? I live in a suburb surroundings big city so it may make a difference.
When I was in my 20s I didn't have an issue with acne due to being on birth control. I dated a guy with some facial scarring and a glass eye ( motorcycle accident) and a guy who was almost 300 lbs. To be honest I like heavier guys, it doesn't bother me at all and I think John Candy was sexy. No lie.
5 minutes ago, snarkygirl said:do you live in a small town? I live in a suburb surroundings big city so it may make a difference.
When I was in my 20s I didn't have an issue with acne due to being on birth control. I dated a guy with some facial scarring and a glass eye ( motorcycle accident) and a guy who was almost 300 lbs. To be honest I like heavier guys, it doesn't bother me at all and I think John Candy was sexy. No lie.
No I live in a large town 20 minutes from Chicago. Maybe I'm just unlucky.
On 21-7-2016 at 7:16 AM, SkinDeeply said:Okay, so I tend to agree--pretty much ONLY with the first paragraph . This is far more mainstream these days than most people would believe. Though I was never an "escort", I did do pro-domme work for a short time while I was working on my masters and I think I'm a perfectly normal (if slightly sexually colorful), educated, cool girl. There will be no judgement, no shame, and no bullshit. I think it can actually be a deeply bonding experience.That said, a lot of us acne sufferers do tend to fit a certain typology, in that most of us seem to share a lot of attractive physical attributes: a great or at least forgiving metabolism, good natural muscle tone, facial symmetry, and high sex drive.
Some of the most gorgeous men and women I've met have also been acne sufferers. A ton of models struggle with acne. Objectively speaking, we are not "disgusting", by any measure. I remember some of the first heartbreaking crushes I had in middle school, high school, and even college were acne sufferers. I could see how gorgeous they were underneath the acne more than I could see the acne.Which is to say, I was attracted to someone who also *happened* to have acne.
Because I have always been very sexually assertive and moderately confident, I don't think my acne ever affected my sex life, except when it was of my own making. Insecurity is honestly your worst enemy--not your acne.
You're a woman and that's why it is different for you. If you were a guy then you would completely agree with me. Women with acne have it far easier than men.
28 minutes ago, AlexanderJ86 said:On 7/21/2016 at 0:16 AM, SkinDeeply said:Okay, so I tend to agree--pretty much ONLY with the first paragraph . This is far more mainstream these days than most people would believe. Though I was never an "escort", I did do pro-domme work for a short time while I was working on my masters and I think I'm a perfectly normal (if slightly sexually colorful), educated, cool girl. There will be no judgement, no shame, and no bullshit. I think it can actually be a deeply bonding experience.That said, a lot of us acne sufferers do tend to fit a certain typology, in that most of us seem to share a lot of attractive physical attributes: a great or at least forgiving metabolism, good natural muscle tone, facial symmetry, and high sex drive.
Some of the most gorgeous men and women I've met have also been acne sufferers. A ton of models struggle with acne. Objectively speaking, we are not "disgusting", by any measure. I remember some of the first heartbreaking crushes I had in middle school, high school, and even college were acne sufferers. I could see how gorgeous they were underneath the acne more than I could see the acne.Which is to say, I was attracted to someone who also *happened* to have acne.
Because I have always been very sexually assertive and moderately confident, I don't think my acne ever affected my sex life, except when it was of my own making. Insecurity is honestly your worst enemy--not your acne.
You're a woman and that's why it is different for you. If you were a guy then you would completely agree with me. Women with acne have it far easier than men.
See...that argument there...that's what's called a speculative fallacy.
5 hours ago, SkinDeeply said:See...that argument there...that's what's called a speculative fallacy.
I know that women with acne are treated far better than me. I have seen it. If you are not, then you are an exception. You can see it hereall the time as well. Boyfriend this, boyfriend that and I am like "at least you can get a boyfriend".
Many guys on Tinder have acne scars and don't try to hide them. I like how confident and secure they look even though they have some really noticeable scars. Work on your self-esteem and you will find love.
I don't agree. The grass is always greener on the other side. Gender has nothing to do with how acne affect a person, its about how you can or can't cope.
Don't you think that having depression and mental issues is a bigger cause at least in your case? You admittedly have those problems.
16 hours ago, Angelinna said:Many guys on Tinder have acne scars and don't try to hide them. I like how confident and secure they look even though they have some really noticeable scars. Work on your self-esteem and you will find love.
The esteem part is not my problem, the self part is. I don't have a self to have esteem about.
I'm a girl and although my skin could be much worse even at it's peak, I let it make me think the worse of myself. In thepast couple of years, I just accepted that my skin is how it is and learn a lot about my self.
My long distance boyfriend and I started out as friends on FB. He had his own non acne related struggles and told me he felt he didn't have to hide how he was feeling from me. He knows I have trouble with my skin and it's not an issue in the least.
Bottom line is find some one you have common interests with. Friends first is really important too as it will show you if their personality is a good match and if they're willing to be there for you when you need them to be.
Appearance should never be an issue and if it is, they're not worth your time and effort. Acne and\or scarring does not define who you are.
In the younger teen/young adult years nobody around me really showed interest in dating me. Looks matter. Then. As adults were more forgiving as we mature (hopefully people do mature) so looks and flaws mean less while things like personality, and character traits matter more like stuff not seen such as confidence which is often been said to me by various girls to be unique to each guy and highly attractive. While acne doesn't completely leave me alone one thing that has changed is my confidence which has made me lots of friends and them friends ask others and me if im single and am looking to date. I find this odd as this never happened growing up. But thinking about it these logical connections do make sense. So i will say self esteem, your attitude towards yourself, and overall confidence do matter. I've still only had relations with 1 person but numbers don't mean anything to me because its not a numbers game. Just lookin for the right one.
As the above person said appearance should never be an issue as it does not define you
On 7/7/2016 at 1:36 AM, azstl25 said:I will be 36 in less than two months, and I will still be dateless, sexless scar-ridden beast of the apocalypse. I would like to thank my parents for giving me my subhuman genetics, and alsofor having a lack of empathy for my suffering that I've endured.You're the best fam.
I sense lots of hate, instead seek peace.
On 7/28/2016 at 3:28 PM, AlexanderJ86 said:On 7/28/2016 at 10:01 AM, SkinDeeply said:See...that argument there...that's what's called a speculative fallacy.I know that women with acne are treated far better than me. I have seen it. If you are not, then you are an exception. You can see it hereall the time as well. Boyfriend this, boyfriend that and I am like "at least you can get a boyfriend".
Maybe you just have a lousy personality?
21 hours ago, k3tchup said:In the younger teen/young adult years nobody around me really showed interest in dating me. Looks matter. Then. As adults were more forgiving as we mature (hopefully people do mature) so looks and flaws mean less while things like personality, and character traits matter more like stuff not seen such as confidence which is often been said to me by various girls to be unique to each guy and highly attractive.
I agree with this. Looks matter when you're young and I think its incredibly disingenuous to pretend otherwise. I almost want to scream when I hear someone tell a teenager to just be themselves or that nobody cares what hey look like. Inner beauty counts for squat at that age if you're ugly on the outside.
Unfortunately, as an added kick in the teeth, youth is also when we build the foundations of our lives and personalities. How we look and how we are treated then can have a detrimental affect on the course our lives take. There is no reset button that you can press a 21, you have to live with what you've experienced.
But like you said, I like to think that it changes as we (and more importantly our peers) get older and hopefully more mature.
On July 23, 2016 at 0:43 AM, Koloz said:I highly doubt you're going too see young girls 14-22 dating guys with severe disfiguring acne like I just got over having. I'm still very insecure about my face and body as whole so no dating anytime soon. I have considered getting an escort.
I was friends with a guy in high school who had horrific acne and his girlfriend at the time was a total babe. She was hands down the prettiest girl in school. Yeah, it may be the exception but this just shows anything is possible; don't give up.
5 hours ago, SkinDeeply said:Maybe you just have a lousy personality?
That is what the psychiatrists thought as well. So they gave me social skills training. The training did nothing, because my social skills are already excellent. They were very happy with me. You can believe me, because the psychiatrists do that as well. The hostility is real.
3 hours ago, jwalk said:I agree with this. Looks matter when you're young and I think its incredibly disingenuous to pretend otherwise. I almost want to scream when I hear someone tell a teenager to just be themselves or that nobody cares what hey look like. Inner beauty counts for squat at that age if you're ugly on the outside.Unfortunately, as an added kick in the teeth, youth is also when we build the foundations of our lives and personalities. How we look and how we are treated then can have a detrimental affect on the course our lives take. There is no reset button that you can press a 21, you have to live with what you've experienced.
But like you said, I like to think that it changes as we (and more importantly our peers) get older and hopefully more mature.
I have not noticed that actually. What I have noticed that people become much colder and more distant. I can't even connect with people who have mental disorders like me.
16 hours ago, acne scar obsession said:On 7/7/2016 at 2:36 AM, azstl25 said:I will be 36 in less than two months, and I will still be dateless, sexless scar-ridden beast of the apocalypse. I would like to thank my parents for giving me my subhuman genetics, and alsofor having a lack of empathy for my suffering that I've endured.You're the best fam.
I sense lots of hate, instead seek peace.
Believe me, its a struggle. Some days are better than others. If I appear hateful it's because numerous hateful things have been said and doneto me, and I basically turned the other cheek and took it. I do havea lot of anger built up, and this forum has been a outlet of expression that I've kept bottled up my whole life.
LOL at this thread still being posted onafter one year. I was really bitter and in a hateful place when I joined a year ago. I don't want to be that person anymore. I'm done with that fam.
I never had any trouble with women when my face was clear with some light scarring. I don't think the scarring really bothers most women and they can actually see past that. If anything, it gives your face some character--at least for me it does. I'm fortunate to have an overall "youthful" appearance despite being 27. Most women usually guess I'm anywhere between 21-24. The scarring in turn gives me a mature look, I suppose. I don't approach women when I have acne because that's very visible and it shatters my confidence. I doubt many of them care either way but I do care so I can't be bothered with striking up a conversation when I have some bumps on my face.
I have had dating/sexual experience, and i believe my acne was one of the things that helped show the kind of person i was along with my personality and such. Once you get older (I am 18, but have learned from things around me) people start to realize looks aren't the key to a good relationship. There's always still hope, you just need to know how bad do you want it.