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What is the first thing I do every morning? I leap out of bed, often stumbling into an object due to miscalculation, and jog as swiftly as possible into the bathroom to the right of my room. I kick the door open, slide in, turn on the light, and look at my face. I count how many pimples I have and compare that to how many I had the day previous. If I have more pimples than the day previous, then the day will be absolute shit. If I have less pimples than the day precious the day will still be absolute shit. Because I have acne!
I probably spend upwards of an hour looking at my face in the mirror every day. Right after waking up. Right after jogging. Right after lifting. Right after eating a meal. Right before hanging out with friends. Right after hanging out with friends. Sometimes I go into the bathroom to look at my face, walk out for a second, and walk right back in. It is illogical, insensible, and is getting me absolutely nowhere. Well, that is not true. It is causing me absolute pain and desolation!
I did not used to be this insecure about my acne. It was not until I had a relationship in which the partner frequently commented on my beauty that I developed a need to be physically perfect. And I actually did not really have any acne at the time. As soon as I was mentally conditioned into a superficial state of constant beauty obsession, my face broke out! The irony was off the charts, folks. And it has only gotten worse. Even though my skin is better than what it was months ago, my insecurity about it increases. It has affected my life for the worse.
I will not even go outside during the day for in fear of someone seeing me. Unless I have a morning shift at work, that is.
So I am making a change. Conducting a little experiment, so to speak. I will cease the destructive behavior of looking in my mirror all of the time. The temptation will be great, seeing as I have to shower, brush my teeth and use the toilet frequently throughout the day, and the mirror spans the entire bathroom, but I will just have to completely look away. From tonight until Saturday of next week I will not look in the mirror once.
The hypothesis reads: If I do not look in the mirror once this week, my insecurities about said acne will either go away, or lessen in severity. I will also be able to not waste so much time and thoughts on my acne.
I am at a crucial point in my life of which I need to stay focused.
I am sure all of you out there understand my predicament. The mirror is a hurtful thing. It can be, at least. Our thoughts make it so. But the thoughts can only be created if you feed them, and by avoiding the mirror altogether they cannot and will not be fed. This is why I also challenge all of you. Those who are magnets to your bathroom mirror, I challenge you to refrain from looking once into its gaze. Just this week. No mirrors at all, no reflective surfaces, no dark tinted glass panes, nothing. It will be difficult for women who put on makeup, but going without makeup for a week should not hurt. Men have to go without makeup.
I will be keeping this post updated throughout the week. In addition to keeping away from the mirror I will be committing to a paleo-diet. I did the paleo-diet for just three days and most of my acne cleared away, so I will continue with that. Wish me luck! We are all here together.
Trying keeping the lights off, lighting a candle in the evening, it may help. I remember peeing in the dark to keep myself away from the mirror. Do whatever it takes to retrain your brain to stop obsessing over the mirror.
I see a social worker which I continued seeing her after my anxiety problems were taken care of, just because I find having someone to talk to extremely helpful!~ Anyways, what she recommends and what I find is actually working is when you have to take that look in the mirror when you're getting out the shower and getting ready.. try however hard it may be to pick out a couple things you like about yourself,a couple features. With that keep those in mind and give yourself a positive affirmation, nothing that signifies you being perfect.. but something that lets you know that you are human. One of my favorites is "You are good enough." This phrase doesn't instill a requirement that you need to be more, it just sorta makes you feel content, which I think is the goal.
Give it a try, it takes a week or two to start working, but if you can distract yourself after the positive affirmation and really try to focus on the positive of it, it can actually work wonders ;p
Another tip is to write down a "mastery" of all the things you think are good about yourself.. as little and insignificant as they make seem like "I'm a good cook" ect. After you do this 1. You will be surprised how many you have. 2. Whenever you're feeling shit about your skin then you can look at this page of things you're pretty darn awesome at.. Really helps put things into perspective.
Great job in figuring out not to focus on the mirror. I used to have that problem and I think it made things worse.
I agree with Garretryan - find something positive to focus on. Often the first thing you start your day with sets the tone for the whole day.
It's the law of attraction - what you focus on and bring feeling to you get more of. Doing a quick meditation in the morning followed by writing some things we're grateful for and what would make the day great can really set the tone. Then doing the same sort of thing just before bed.
So much of acne is a mental game, not just diet or lifestyle or what we put on our face. I applaud you for realizing this and making a big change!
I do exactly the same thing. Running back and fourth from the bathroom to see what "drastic" changes my skin has made in the 3 minutes since I last checked. Makes me feel completely ridiculous, but somehow seems necessary. Like if I check often enough then new pimples simply won't have the audacity to show up.
I stayed at a friends once and she had no mirror in her bathroom. At first I was like "What!? How the HELL am I supposed to check up on my skin!?" Then I slowly realised over the course of a few days that checking up on my skin every 10 minutes wasn't CHANGING my skin, it was just attacking me mentally.
Now I have taken the mirror out of my bathroom entirely and I do my eye makeup in a handheld mirror. And by god do I keep that mirror AWAY from my acne!
Good luck and keep us updated! Excited to see how it works out.