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Three months ago my forehead was a gross wreck. I had job interviews lined up and I really relied on this forum to help support me. I'm grateful for the help they gave me and the support but I think it's really important to warn people that it is very bad for your emotional and mental health to obsess about your acne. It also makes your acne worse.
Just reading through a couple of the posts on this sub forum there are lots of people who really need to reach out for help. People on the internet can't diagnose you or make you better. If you are at the point where you are relying on people on the internet you need to seek help.
The first (and hardest thing) you need to do is sit down with one or both of your parents and have a frank discussion about your skin and how it makes you feel. This will probably be agonizingly difficult but you need their support and money for the next steps.
You need to tell your parents you want to go to a dermatologist. Talk to your dermatologist and LISTEN to what they say. Ask your parents to look at a list of the in-network dermatologists in your area (they will know what this means) and then go online and read reviews about them (yelp if nothing else). Look at the schools they went to, the # of years they have been in practice and read their website to get an idea about their approach to acne. Don't walk in and demand accutane and leave if they refuse it. They are professionals and they understand the complex effects of accutane more than anyone on this forum.
Get yourself a therapist (you don't need a psychiatrist). Our society places lots of shame and embarrassment on people who reach out for mental health help. The same as your term research your therapist beforehand (I strongly recommend as holistic an approach as possible). Your therapist has sat across from dozens of people your age with your problems. You think you are alone but you are not therapists do an exceptionally good job of helping you realize that.
I took accutane and antibiotics and creams for almost a decade. My dermatologist never "cured" my acne. My therapist saved my life and made me a much better person and man. If you can't afford both I would recommend a therapist over a derm ANY day. This forum is great as a stopgap but if your acne is making you sad, depressed or angry you NEED professional help. Courage doesn't mean you aren't scared, it means you go anyway. It's hard being young guys but it gets better. Good luck.
Seeing a therapist might help but at the end of the day what I want is my skin to be clear.
I wish the medical community would come up with a permanent acne cure already. That would be so much better than wasting time and money on a therapist.
Although I agree with what you're saying visits to therapists and dermatologists can be too pricey for some people I think (haven't been to a derm myself but I see a specialized therapist for other reasons and it's about $200 each visit... $200!!! lol that's not cheap) and not everyone has people they feel comfortable reaching out to therefore I feel like this forum is a better support network than none. It's hard going outside of your comfort zone sometimes so I think that's why a lot of people rely on these forums for help including myself, talking to people face to face about my acne just doesn't seem terribly enjoyable to me lol but I mean I'm sure everyone has something that they dislike/feel insecure with about themselves so I don't think it's something to be ashamed about and you should try to dwell on as little as possible while still being proactive about it.
I usually feel much better about my face after reading the forum, actually. I wish I had known about this place back when I was in high school and on Accutane. I didn't know anybody else with the kind of acne I and my brother had. Everyone says that adolescence is a time of acne, but few-to-none of my peers had it. My face was something I tried (unsuccessfully) to hide and disguise. Being in a place, even if online, where acne is a common factor and can be discussed openly rather than concealed is hugely uplifting to me.
I realize many people here are dealing with acne worse than that which I currently have, but the forum actually decreases my insecurity.
I agree, however, that someone dealing with moderate to severe depression because of their acne should have a frank discussion with their family and, if resources are available, seek what help they can, even if it's just a dermatologist instead of a therapist. Times are tough, and it's getting harder and harder to find employment and pay your own way as a young person.
I usually feel much better about my face after reading the forum, actually. I wish I had known about this place back when I was in high school and on Accutane. I didn't know anybody else with the kind of acne I and my brother had.
I agree.
I have been lurking on this site for 10 minutes now, and already my stress levels are down a lot. It's incredible how alone I feel sometimes among all the people who have great skin. I am not jealous, as that leads easily to bitterness, but it is so strange to not be able to explain what a burden I carry each day. I see it in all the small things how much easier life is with good skin, for example being able to rinse one's face in the shower without having to worry about dry skin or all the redness afterwards.
So to just know that these difficult emotions are quite 'normal' for people with acne means that there is a logic to my pain and it isn't because I am weaker than my friends. Even though I wish none of us had to go through is ordeal, I feel good about not being alone.
I have been seing a great skin specialist for a few years and recently a therapist. I am 25 now. After finally getting rid of 90% of my acne I am now focusing on the more psychological aspect and also my many scars. But coming here meant going through creams and antibiotics that didn't help, but because I endured things are better today.
The most important thing about contacting a doctor who is a skin specialist, is that you don't have to fight your acne alone. If you are worried about something you can talk to that person. That skilled person can also more easily see what your unique skin needs. And if you feel the need, talking to a therapist is also a great help. It is never weakness to ask for help.
Remember that it is never too late to start making your life better! I used to be afraid of seeking help because I was so ashamed and felt I should have dealt with my acne a long time ago, but my doctor didn't judge me, he just started to help me. Also while having acne may make life harder, it does not make a person less valuable!
And during the time one is under treatment, this forum is a great reminder that even though all you'd see around you are good-skinned people, there are many people around the world who understand what having acne means.