I have been through a lot in my 27 years. Extremely hard breakups, deaths of family and friends, tearing my ACL in college and being told that I will never be able to play the sport that I love at the same intensity (I had a decent chance to go pro in football), losing a great job, being homeless for months at a time. And you know what? I got over all of it. As painful as all of those events were, I was able to overcome them eventually, become stronger, and move on.
For some reason I just can not accept having acne though. Every single year that it lingers (14 and counting), the feeling gets worse and worse to where it has become an obsession. I go through periods where it is minimal for a few days/weeks but I know there is a monster dormant ready to come out any time. And it always does.
The worst parts of my day are in the morning and night when I have to do my topical routine (which I despise) and have to feel my face for new breakouts. After I do the routine in the morning, I spend the rest of the day thinking about my face and wtf I can do. Topicals (I used Dan's regimen when he first launched Acne.org so many years ago), Diets (paleo, no diary, ugggh), are just mentally exhausting at this point. Being scared to drink alcohol. Scared to go on vacation because I won't be able to control my eating. Scared to get a g.f now because of how volatile my skin is. 99 percent of 27 year old guys don't have acne so why the hell would girls my age want one? It was okay dating when I was in high school and college as other guys had it too but at this point it is sad.
Is it possible to accept the fact that I am going to have acne for the rest of my life and not let it hurt my confidence? I try to accept it but how do you accept something that is destroying your face and adding more indented scars? I sometimes consider myself a good looking guy as I have been complimented many times on my facial structure, eyes, smile, but the bad skin literally ruins all of that. I guess being told that so early in life and as a kid/pre-teen ruined my self esteem and made it based entirely on looks (which i now consider possibly gone from the damage that the acne has done and still does) It just makes me so depressed that life is passing me by because of this.
I am going on Accutane in February after putting it off for years because of fear but it doesn't cure anyone on this forum it seems like, so why would it cure me? Honestly, the stress, anxiety, and depression is probably taking a much larger tole on my body than Accutane could ever. Constant heart racing, worrying, etc.
I am extremely hopeful though. The thought of waking up, having no acne, not having to apply topicals, and not have to worry about my diet sounds like a dream. I will never take anything for granted again if that happens and still feel as though I can reach my potential.
Remember on this forum you generally only hear about the people who Accutane didn't work for. You don't hear about the majority of people who were cured by Accutane because they just got on with their lives and stopped posting online. Stay positive and try to think of everything you do differently to most other people. Just try to live and eat normally on Accutane and it should work. I'd stop all topicals and routines you have and just let Accutane work. Remember that most people just wash their face once or twice a day and that's all they need. And make sure all your vitamin levels are normal. Don't avoid foods like dairy completely. It could be diets haven't worked because it's something you're NOT eating, rather than something you're eating that causing your acne. For example, dairy is the main source of calcium and iodine in most people's diets. A deficiency in either could be the problem. Just try to be normal. That's all I can say.
I'm going on Accutane soon as well. I'd rather die than continue to have acne any longer. It's just a nightmare that never ends for some people.
Good luck my friend.
Hi there Spartan I feel your pain. Im now 28 years of age and I have suffered from Acne mild to severe from 18-28 years of age. Im currently using products that do to some extent suppress my acne but im always breaking out with small pustules in the same places and I have a lot of red marks. It has ruined my life to a large extent and I will be commencing accutane treatment in January. I think there's a lot of negativity about the drug on here yes but as the poster above mentioned im sure there's many people who it worked for and dont need to mention it on here. A good friend of mine was in a similar situation and it changed her life.
Hi there Spartan I feel your pain. Im now 28 years of age and I have suffered from Acne mild to severe from 18-28 years of age. Im currently using products that do to some extent suppress my acne but im always breaking out with small pustules in the same places and I have a lot of red marks. It has ruined my life to a large extent and I will be commencing accutane treatment in January. I think there's a lot of negativity about the drug on here yes but as the poster above mentioned im sure there's many people who it worked for and dont need to mention it on here. A good friend of mine was in a similar situation and it changed her life.
Thanks for your reply. It is rough man being our age and still having to deal with bad skin. There is wayyyy too much negativity about Accutane on this board but I don't think it paints the correct picture. On every other forum that I go on, youtube, and people that I know that have taken it in person have had nothing but great things to say about it. I really think it is our chance to finally get a normal life without the constant worrying. If you start in January, definitely make a log as I am interested to see your progress. Good luck!
