It's not about weighing and comparing experiences. There's always someone who has it better than you; there's always someone who has it worse than you. Everyone has likely heard something like this in their lives, but I don't know anyone who got better because someone told them "You know what, I know someone who has it worse than you is happy. So stop complaining!" or "I can do it, so you can do it too!"

I think helping people is about trying to meet and understand where people are at in their lives, and trying to help guide them in the right direction.

I think we can all agree that you should live your life as best you can despite any conditions. That is a skill that takes time. Some are inherently better at it than others.

Also, it's a bit presumptuous to say you know exactly how someone feels. It's hard (impossible imo) to feel true empathy over the Internet, and we certainly do not know the circumstances of the people here, and their lives.

TakeItToTheSkies, I don't mean to come across negatively, but I find it a bit ironic that in the nutrition section, you are one of a handful of people who understands that one individual's experience does not translate to another person's experience -- because you know that there are so many factors involved in health, many that we don't understand. How can you not see that this also applies to emotional and psychological health?

It's not about weighing and comparing experiences. There's always someone who has it better than you; there's always someone who has it worse than you. Everyone has likely heard something like this in their lives, but I don't know anyone who got better because someone told them "You know what, I know someone who has it worse than you is happy. So stop complaining!" or "I can do it, so you can do it too!"

I think helping people is about trying to meet and understand where people are at in their lives, and trying to help guide them in the right direction.

I think we can all agree that you should live your life as best you can despite any conditions. That is a skill that takes time. Some are inherently better at it than others.

Also, it's a bit presumptuous to say you know exactly how someone feels. It's hard (impossible imo) to feel true empathy over the Internet, and we certainly do not know the circumstances of the people here, and their lives.

TakeItToTheSkies, I don't mean to come across negatively, but I find it a bit ironic that in the nutrition section, you are one of a handful of people who understands that one individual's experience does not translate to another person's experience -- because you know that there are so many factors involved in health, many that we don't understand. How can you not see that this also applies to emotional and psychological health?

 

May be i came across in the wrong way.

You have made a fair post here.

My intention was to try and point out that there is a way out, a different way of thinking, however that is very had to articulate without referring to ones own experience.

You are so right in people react differently.

However it is no good sympathizing without offering realistic advice. Sometimes that advice can seen sympathetic because it is direct. It's difficult to balance because i do not believe in telling people what they want to here or to fuel their anxieties.

With a forum everyone has to be prepared for all comers and all opinions. This is no reason to get irate or take things the wrong. It should be more about encouraging debate and coming at things at a different angle. This seems to get lost sometime in these thread.

But thank you for your post i will try and construct my posts with a bit more balance for lack of a better term.

I

Sleep with my pretty white pillowcase that has flowers on it instead of my ugly stained one.

I do think acne, in itself, can be a disability. Google "severe acne" and look at the pics that come up and tell me some of that wouldn't count as a disability. Acne that severe interferes with your ability to talk, lay down, even chew food without pain.

Of course mild acne isn't a disability in itself. Sorry for being so defensive about this, but there have been times in my life my acne was as severe as in some of those pics and I was even getting serious infections because of it. I do think when it reaches such a level it should count as a disability, legally.

Another thing I want to do when I'm clear is buy some bright colored lipsticks because I finally won't be scared of drawing attention to my mouth area anymore.

TakeItToTheSkies,

I think we're on pretty similar pages! I definitely don't want to encourage people to be stagnant and depressed, enable negative thinking, or feed anxieties. Indeed, when encouraging people, it is important to make sure it is support for becoming better -- like encouraging positive thinking (such as Deja's posts on EFT).

I do think acne, in itself, can be a disability. Google "severe acne" and look at the pics that come up and tell me some of that wouldn't count as a disability. Acne that severe interferes with your ability to talk, lay down, even chew food without pain.

Of course mild acne isn't a disability in itself. Sorry for being so defensive about this, but there have been times in my life my acne was as severe as in some of those pics and I was even getting serious infections because of it. I do think when it reaches such a level it should count as a disability, legally.

Another thing I want to do when I'm clear is buy some bright colored lipsticks because I finally won't be scared of drawing attention to my mouth area anymore.

 

I had severe acne too, so please don't say I have no idea. It was uncomfortable, it was keeping me awake, because I couldn't lay my face on the pillow and in winter my skin got so dry and tight I could barely move my face muscles. But I didn't feel disabled. We're not disabled until we start feeling like it. Our mind is the darkest prison, I think.

I'll be able to look at people in the eye.

I'll be able to go somewhere without thinking to myself that someone will make a rude comment.

I'll be able to forget that feeling that everyone is staring at you.

I'll be able to be more confident.

I'll be able to my true self.

Acne totally kills you.

All you got to is hope.

Put on a nice outfit, actually do my hair and make up, and go enjoy myself

I'd say there's two sides to it. Yes, you can live your life with acne. But to say that it's purely a cosmetic thing isn't true. Most people have a natural care for their appearance. People judge you based on appearance. It's true though that the confident acne stricken person can still succeed socially.

Saying it's insignificant is a bit unsympathetic, and surprising to hear from people who've had acne. When I had cystic acne, I still went out with friends, but when I caught a lingering stare from a stranger, it would bother me. The occasional nasty comment was discouraging. I eventually got clear, and I do feel better about going out now that I'm relatively clear (the odd pimple here and there).

 

Didn't mean to be unsympathetic, but seeing how people get totally broken down because of this and want to commit suicide pisses me off in a way. Last year I worked in social care as a personal assistant with disabled people and you wouldn't believe how cheerful and outgoing they were despite their disabilities. And acne is in no way a disability.

I just think people got week and resistless nowadays. Just to think of what people went through before and how some people are still forced to suffer and then compare it with some cysts on your face. Unfair to even compare.

I do feel bad about my acne, and it was much worse some time ago. But whenever I feel like I don't want to see anyone because of new breakout, I get ashamed of myself so I get myself together and go out.

All I'm saying is - you can feel bad about it, you can do some research and look for treatments and medications that will work for you. It needs to be taken cared of, it's out of question. But during the time - accept yourself the way you are right now.

I found my acne the worst when I was unhappy and inactive. Says quite a lot, doesn't it?

 

You never know what's going inside someone elses head so don't judge. What may be a minor inconvenience to one person can mean the world to another. I have a friend with diabetes struggles with her dagnosis and i would never say to her, 'well, it could be stage 4 cancer so stop your whining'. People can feel how they want to feel and i find that making those comparisons are:

• pointless
• a way to disregard and minimize someone else's perception
• not a good way to support anyone.

 

You certainly don't have to feed in to the pity party but let people vent.....that's what this site is all about

 

Thank you. Excellent post. Acne is completely disabling to some of us. I have almost committed suicide, suffered severe depression and developed an eating disorder because of having acne. No one better try to tell me that this disease doesn't count as a disability.

 

Hey Deja.

Everything you just said i can whole heartily say ive been there and went through the meat grinder with it

Pianina is right in saying acne in itself is a disability.

What has become your disability is the way you have reacted to acne and your ability to deal with it or lack there of.

Now i know you are passionate about this and at times you seem quite hungry. That is okay, like say ive been exactly where you are now.

My whole point is that if what you are doing is not working, as in what you are doing to try and deal with it then it stands to reason to try a different approach and come at it from a different angle.

I have to be honest about this kind of thing. I find it hard sometimes to hold back on here when i read some of the stories. I am not unsympathetic and i help where i can. However I have friend who is in chronic pain everyday of his life. Now i won't go into details but he has a condition which means he probably won't see 35 but you know what? He is happy, laughs, jokes around, gets on with his life and does "normal" things like any other member of society. He is a big inspiration to me and no matter how down i might feel one day i always think about and how he just gets on with it. To be totally honest he has more reason to complain about how sucky life can be than every person on here combined.

So when i try to say things could be a whole lot worse i say that from real experience, having been where you are and getting to a point where i can deal with all the emotional probs that come with it. I do not say this because i am on my high horse. I say from an educated outlook and try to offer advice that may potentially help someone one day.

 

Whether you come in here on a high horse or not, comparing other peoples problems in their life to the people here are not going to help them fix or forget about their problem any faster. If you want to take that type of talk somewhere, it shouldn't be here. I'm not trying to sound rude or anything, but you should be ashamed of yourself. Many people here, such as myself, have serious depression because of this, have attempted suicide before, lock themselves away from any social events, etc. and you come in here and tell them how their problems aren't as serious as other people's problems, such as the example you gave us about your friend. I am sad to hear that about your friend, but that doesn't make me feel any better about my situation, nor does it help me or other people on this site forget or fix their problem. So I ask you, why did you make those posts? Hoping to get some people to change their mind about their insecurities which are clearly ruining many peoples lives on here? And since when did comparing two people, 1 of which who has it worse than you, help anyone at all? If anything it makes them feel worse. So someone has it worse than me, now what? Am I supposed to feel good about someone who suffers more than me? DEFINITELY not. I see where you're going with this, but you've picked the wrong community to throw comparisons at. I honestly think it would be better, for most of us, if you deleted your account and stopped posting on here. There are people with very serious problems on here, and the last thing they need is a person like you making posts that inevitably will make a bunch of people feel worse. That's my 2 cents. Sorry if I seem a bit harsh but I think 4chan more suits your personality.

I do think acne, in itself, can be a disability. Google "severe acne" and look at the pics that come up and tell me some of that wouldn't count as a disability. Acne that severe interferes with your ability to talk, lay down, even chew food without pain.

Of course mild acne isn't a disability in itself. Sorry for being so defensive about this, but there have been times in my life my acne was as severe as in some of those pics and I was even getting serious infections because of it. I do think when it reaches such a level it should count as a disability, legally.

Another thing I want to do when I'm clear is buy some bright colored lipsticks because I finally won't be scared of drawing attention to my mouth area anymore.

 

I had severe acne too, so please don't say I have no idea. It was uncomfortable, it was keeping me awake, because I couldn't lay my face on the pillow and in winter my skin got so dry and tight I could barely move my face muscles. But I didn't feel disabled. We're not disabled until we start feeling like it. Our mind is the darkest prison, I think.

 

Deja didn't say you had no idea. However, just because you have an experience with cystic acne, it doesn't mean you understand everyone else's experience with it. It's great that it didn't disable you, but that's you. Doesn't mean it will be that way for others.

We're not disabled until we start feeling like it. Our mind is the darkest prison, I think.

 

Indeed. But you aren't going to help a disabled person by telling them to stop feeling disabled, or telling a depressed person to stop being depressed because you are not depressed, etc.

Offering sympathy and understanding, while encouraging behavior and habits to remedy the issue, would be a better approach.

Sorry if my opinion offended anyone. Didn't mean to point things out, my bad for thinking that it can help someone. I'm not a psychologist, so I shouldn't tell what's good or not. But this way helps me a bit, so maybe someone else will also get inspired. Peace

I have no problem with you or your opinion, I was stating that your opinion does not apply to other people necessarily, though it can conditionally (indeed, it would be good to not let acne get you down at all!). Paraphrasing what I said earlier, I think we all agree that people should put their best foot forward and try to not let acne limit their lives as much as they can, and strive for improvement. However, what I wanted to emphasize is that people come from all walks of life, and will be dealing with acne in varied ways.

I think the thing we can gather from this thread is that most of us want this part of the forum to be a place where people can whine, vent, scream, or release their emotions in whatever way they need to. Whether whining and venting is always the best thing to do this is a matter of opinion, but if it's going to be allowed anywhere without any judgments, this should be the place.

No one who is at their wits end and feeling down/depressed/suicidal wants to be told that "it could be worse." I honestly wish that sentence could be banned from the forums, lol. But at the same time, I do believe in free speech. You never know if the person you are responding to is ready to do something crazy (suicide). I try to treat every post in here as if the person is that delicate--even if they are not.

I think the thing we can gather from this thread is that most of us want this part of the forum to be a place where people can whine, vent, scream, or release their emotions in whatever way they need to. Whether whining and venting is always the best thing to do this is a matter of opinion, but if it's going to be allowed anywhere without any judgments, this should be the place.

No one who is at their wits end and feeling down/depressed/suicidal wants to be told that "it could be worse." I honestly wish that sentence could be banned from the forums, lol. But at the same time, I do believe in free speech. You never know if the person you are responding to is ready to do something crazy (suicide). I try to treat every post in here as if the person is that delicate--even if they are not.

 

Well, you never know if I'm not about to do something crazy and pretending that I'm strong on a forum is my last resort.

I think the thing we can gather from this thread is that most of us want this part of the forum to be a place where people can whine, vent, scream, or release their emotions in whatever way they need to. Whether whining and venting is always the best thing to do this is a matter of opinion, but if it's going to be allowed anywhere without any judgments, this should be the place.

No one who is at their wits end and feeling down/depressed/suicidal wants to be told that "it could be worse." I honestly wish that sentence could be banned from the forums, lol. But at the same time, I do believe in free speech. You never know if the person you are responding to is ready to do something crazy (suicide). I try to treat every post in here as if the person is that delicate--even if they are not.

 

Well, you never know if I'm not about to do something crazy and pretending that I'm strong on a forum is my last resort.

 

You're right, that could be true. And if so, I hope you will turn to one of us for support. <3

The fact that you even asked this question shows that once your acne is gone you will fixate on something else...I bet you that within weeks you will find something wrong with your appearance, or just something in your life, doesn't matter how 'insignificant' it is. You will work to fix it. Once that's fixed there'll be something else to worry about. Maybe you've become overweight, you started losing hair, you have cellulite, stretchmarks, a mole on the top of your head, whatever. And so on and so on. This will go on 'till you reach old age or up until you die.

When you look at people who you think are 'perfect' do you think they don't find something ugly and disgusting about themselves? People who are considered gorgeous by the vast majority of the population spend hours in front of the mirror trying to to pluck, squeeze, dig out, cut, shave those imperfections off that no one else notices. I guarantee you that most people who you think have perfect skin, they themselves think they have awful skin.

Clear skin will not drastically alter your life. You will probably be content for a while then forget and move on, finding something else wrong with yourself that you will try and improve.

If you limit your life dramatically because of your acne, then you have a problem other than acne - issues with blowing up a problem that at its best, is hardly significant in the grand scheme of things. You need to sit down, and think about your life for a bit. Does acne stop you from being photographed? Does acne stop you from forming new relationships? Does acne stop you from attending important events where you need to look good? No. Acne does none of these things. Acne is just a skin condition. You and only you make these decisions. You let yourself be affected too much by a minor physical illness. You let it control your life.

If you let acne control your life, what are you gonna do if you are diagnosed with diabetes, lupus, arthritis or any illness in fact? Are you going to give up and say, it's just not worth living my life the way I want because of a disease?

Then prepare yourself, because the chances are you will be diagnosed with some sort of a semi-chronic illness at least once in your life. And chances are, it will be worse than acne.

Bottom line is, if you are depressed because of your acne, you need help. Your depression won't magically disappear when your skin becomes clear.

I guess what I say has no worth to a lot of people so I guess I'll just keep my opinions to myself and if I find something wrong with a post (knowing it will effect many people on here), ill just not reply to it because it's obvious everyone has their own opinions, but I do agree with one of the posters that said this should be a place for people to vent and lend support. I agree with Pianina when she says that people have gotten a bit softer on the inside and you know what, even with all the chaos in the world, if being softer means we have better people today than we had 100s, 1000s of years ago, when we were no better than animals, then so be it... but if you're going to put the blame on us, the ones who are trying really hard to change the way we think, the ones who are trying to fix these problems we have... hell even the ones who are helpless and beating themselves up all the time... DON'T. Blame the media, plain and simple. If you want me to elaborate, tell me I'm wrong. Believe me, it's hard for some people to change their thinking in a day, but telling them it's their fault for the way they think, won't help them get through this.. AND what are we here for?...... if not that?

PS: Pianina. If you read what I said clearly, I wouldn't have to type this again... but just in-case you missed it.

Rephrased of course for better understanding: "You cannot compare problems to each other. If something, it could be anything that someone sees problematic enough to develop some sort of depression or anti-social disorder and it effects them in one way, another person not at all and another person has got it worse or better, etc. you cannot judge any of those cases, whether they be the same problem or completely different. Want to know why? Because not everyone is the same as you. Some people have stronger bodies than minds. Some people have better social skills than other. And in a lot of our cases, we obsess over the way we look but are strong in other areas. Now I'm not saying anything is permanent... There's always a fix to these traits. BUT one thing is for sure, you cannot compare what a person is going through on the inside to someone who you think has it worse based on what you see superficially. Plain and simply, it all comes down to the persons psychology and kudos to you for developing such a strong one! I hope you can give me a few pointers "

I thought about one thing after reading some answers on this thread. Maybe the best thing would be if we all accepted our feelings the way they are at the moment, but at the same time would make goals and promises to ourselves, that it will definitely get better and our mind won't imprison us in it's darkest corners, what about that? For me it helps a bit when I think that my problem is not the worst, others will probably find what works for them. The most important is to want to improve in all aspects.

Guy's i wanted to add something else that i'd do. i feel that i would have a strong desire to move back to the country, in Georgia down south. I lived in a small town about two hours south of Atlanta & i lived there for a good five year's. My self coming from the city like area in long island new york, i remember how much i hated it when i first moved there. It was so different from the street's of my home town in Suffolk county i was from "the fish island" where there was a seven eleven in what seemed like every stop light lol.

Having been born and raised there until i was twelve years old i didn't know anything else besides the city life. So as a result i came to love it. But looking back now as it turns out that moving away down south turned out to be a blessing in disguise As it would turn out that after only living there for some month's, was when i started to break out all of a sudden & little did i know it would be many a year before i'd ever begin to recover. Had i have had to go threw the things i did in my home town, with all those people. I might have lost my mind, yes it was the county that helped me keep my sanity in the end, the tranquility & peaceful bliss that you just can't find in the city life. i't REALLY helped when i was in my worst years of breakout's.

Nature has no opinion,takes no sides, it didn't care if i had acne she would always comfort me in here peace of mind & as well as because of her sheer beauty. Now i just moved back into a city up north again & i gotta say i didn't think i'd be missing the county side but it really has left an impression on me.i think that after a while of being clear i might just want to move there again but this time solo, the feeling of freedom would be something i'd never had before im sure it would be a day to remember. To finally be my own person, no more being a mamas boy, oh man the party's i would throw LOL

I'm happy to say that i can see a happy life for me in the future, but i'm sad to say that for me achieving it means at least a relatively clear face is an essential step that i must obtain it would just make life so much easier for me, i'd be happy with just being me. how many people wish that they could just be normal? not many i bet. indeed the aftermath of going threw something like acne, along with it's scars both physical and emotional. for me it would make even the worst days seem like the best. For me simply being able to be happy just to be myself again..

Pianina, I like the way you're thinking now

I wasn't upset at all btw, just a bit shocked that those few things were said, knowing there's a lot of serious, serious cases of depression here.

Oh and I'm in the current process of helping myself, especially mentally so when I read supporting posts like many of the people here, it motivates me to keep going.

I am currently kicking the habit smoking cigarettes I'm still in a state of depression but that in that hopeful stage so I'm hoping to add more stuff to my list to help my psychology as well as my skin (obviously, because that's where my bad psychology stems from and I've never had self-esteem issues other than that. Didn't even ever have a sad day in my life, so that one post where the guy said that people here obsessing about their skin are always going to find a problem with themselves, is clearly very wrong... and I'm a perfect example. I believe the reason why that poster posted that was because he believes his case is worse than many of us. Yet as I said beofre, comparing your problems with someone else doesn't do you, i or anyone else justice). MOST of all, we are here to help each other so sorry if I sounded like a douche-bag in my post, was just trying to sort of aggressively get the point across.

Guy's i wanted to add something else that i'd do. i feel that i would have a strong desire to move back to the country, in Georgia down south. I lived in a small town about two hours south of Atlanta & i lived there for a good five year's. My self coming from the city like area in long island new york, i remember how much i hated it when i first moved there. It was so different from the street's of my home town in Suffolk county i was from "the fish island" where there was a seven eleven in what seemed like every stop light lol.

Having been born and raised there until i was twelve years old i didn't know anything else besides the city life. So as a result i came to love it. But looking back now as it turns out that moving away down south turned out to be a blessing in disguise As it would turn out that after only living there for some month's, was when i started to break out all of a sudden & little did i know it would be many a year before i'd ever begin to recover. Had i have had to go threw the things i did in my home town, with all those people. I might have lost my mind, yes it was the county that helped me keep my sanity in the end, the tranquility & peaceful bliss that you just can't find in the city life. i't REALLY helped when i was in my worst years of breakout's.

Nature has no opinion,takes no sides, it didn't care if i had acne she would always comfort me in here peace of mind & as well as because of her sheer beauty. Now i just moved back into a city up north again & i gotta say i didn't think i'd be missing the county side but it really has left an impression on me.i think that after a while of being clear i might just want to move there again but this time solo, the feeling of freedom would be something i'd never had before im sure it would be a day to remember. To finally be my own person, no more being a mamas boy, oh man the party's i would throw LOL

I'm happy to say that i can see a happy life for me in the future, but i'm sad to say that for me achieving it means at least a relatively clear face is an essential step that i must obtain it would just make life so much easier for me, i'd be happy with just being me. how many people wish that they could just be normal? not many i bet. indeed the aftermath of going threw something like acne, along with it's scars both physical and emotional. for me it would make even the worst days seem like the best. For me simply being able to be happy just to be myself again..

 

I wish you the best of luck on your journey and I really enjoyed your post, thank you very much! Don't let anyone get you down or get in your way. Even through the lowest of the lows, keep the goal in your mind and you'll achieve it.

Because I work at a salon, I know what it means to be judged every day of my life. If you check my photos, you can see I have a mohawk. I'm not a punk. I don't even listen to rock music haha. Yet a lot of people lately have complained that I have a mohawk and i either have to cover it up, cut it off or lose my job. It made me realize something, I believe it's another reason why we have these problems with our psychology as acne and acne scar sufferers, not only because we care about what we look like and how the media has programmed us to think but most people are judgmental douche-bags and no matter how many smiles and how supportive you appear to be with people, people will always judge, therefore leaving some of us who don't have the best psychy in the world, upset and wanting to change (whatever we find wrong with ourselves). I don't know if I'm right, just a thought. Although that mohawk stuff didn't make me sad, made me angry and I was demanding to know which people said it so that next time I see them I could make them feel dumb, hopefully in front of other people so they feel super embarrassed. :D:D

I'd say there's two sides to it. Yes, you can live your life with acne. But to say that it's purely a cosmetic thing isn't true. Most people have a natural care for their appearance. People judge you based on appearance. It's true though that the confident acne stricken person can still succeed socially.

Saying it's insignificant is a bit unsympathetic, and surprising to hear from people who've had acne. When I had cystic acne, I still went out with friends, but when I caught a lingering stare from a stranger, it would bother me. The occasional nasty comment was discouraging. I eventually got clear, and I do feel better about going out now that I'm relatively clear (the odd pimple here and there).

 

Didn't mean to be unsympathetic, but seeing how people get totally broken down because of this and want to commit suicide pisses me off in a way. Last year I worked in social care as a personal assistant with disabled people and you wouldn't believe how cheerful and outgoing they were despite their disabilities. And acne is in no way a disability.

I just think people got week and resistless nowadays. Just to think of what people went through before and how some people are still forced to suffer and then compare it with some cysts on your face. Unfair to even compare.

I do feel bad about my acne, and it was much worse some time ago. But whenever I feel like I don't want to see anyone because of new breakout, I get ashamed of myself so I get myself together and go out.

All I'm saying is - you can feel bad about it, you can do some research and look for treatments and medications that will work for you. It needs to be taken cared of, it's out of question. But during the time - accept yourself the way you are right now.

I found my acne the worst when I was unhappy and inactive. Says quite a lot, doesn't it?

 

You never know what's going inside someone elses head so don't judge. What may be a minor inconvenience to one person can mean the world to another. I have a friend with diabetes struggles with her dagnosis and i would never say to her, 'well, it could be stage 4 cancer so stop your whining'. People can feel how they want to feel and i find that making those comparisons are:

• pointless
• a way to disregard and minimize someone else's perception
• not a good way to support anyone.

 

You certainly don't have to feed in to the pity party but let people vent.....that's what this site is all about

 

Thank you. Excellent post. Acne is completely disabling to some of us. I have almost committed suicide, suffered severe depression and developed an eating disorder because of having acne. No one better try to tell me that this disease doesn't count as a disability.

 

Hey Deja.

Everything you just said i can whole heartily say ive been there and went through the meat grinder with it

Pianina is right in saying acne in itself is a disability.

What has become your disability is the way you have reacted to acne and your ability to deal with it or lack there of.

Now i know you are passionate about this and at times you seem quite hungry. That is okay, like say ive been exactly where you are now.

My whole point is that if what you are doing is not working, as in what you are doing to try and deal with it then it stands to reason to try a different approach and come at it from a different angle.

I have to be honest about this kind of thing. I find it hard sometimes to hold back on here when i read some of the stories. I am not unsympathetic and i help where i can. However I have friend who is in chronic pain everyday of his life. Now i won't go into details but he has a condition which means he probably won't see 35 but you know what? He is happy, laughs, jokes around, gets on with his life and does "normal" things like any other member of society. He is a big inspiration to me and no matter how down i might feel one day i always think about and how he just gets on with it. To be totally honest he has more reason to complain about how sucky life can be than every person on here combined.

So when i try to say things could be a whole lot worse i say that from real experience, having been where you are and getting to a point where i can deal with all the emotional probs that come with it. I do not say this because i am on my high horse. I say from an educated outlook and try to offer advice that may potentially help someone one day.

 

Whether you come in here on a high horse or not, comparing other peoples problems in their life to the people here are not going to help them fix or forget about their problem any faster. If you want to take that type of talk somewhere, it shouldn't be here. I'm not trying to sound rude or anything, but you should be ashamed of yourself. Many people here, such as myself, have serious depression because of this, have attempted suicide before, lock themselves away from any social events, etc. and you come in here and tell them how their problems aren't as serious as other people's problems, such as the example you gave us about your friend. I am sad to hear that about your friend, but that doesn't make me feel any better about my situation, nor does it help me or other people on this site forget or fix their problem. So I ask you, why did you make those posts? Hoping to get some people to change their mind about their insecurities which are clearly ruining many peoples lives on here? And since when did comparing two people, 1 of which who has it worse than you, help anyone at all? If anything it makes them feel worse. So someone has it worse than me, now what? Am I supposed to feel good about someone who suffers more than me? DEFINITELY not. I see where you're going with this, but you've picked the wrong community to throw comparisons at. I honestly think it would be better, for most of us, if you deleted your account and stopped posting on here. There are people with very serious problems on here, and the last thing they need is a person like you making posts that inevitably will make a bunch of people feel worse. That's my 2 cents. Sorry if I seem a bit harsh but I think 4chan more suits your personality.

 

I respectfully disagree.

I have been through the meat grinder like everyone else here, depression, suicidal, living a fake and stagnant life you name it.

I don't think you are being harsh at all you given me an honest and direct opinion which i respect.

However, all i done was the same as what you just did. Direct advice and opinion.

Whilst i agree everyone will respond differently to different types of advice everyone has to respect the fact that is a forum and opinion will differ. So i have to say that if people on a forum, even a support forum cannot not handle something they do not want to hear (within reason) then they should not post.

Posting in any forum is leaving yourself open for your argument to be countered as many in here have countered mine. It's nothing personal just a difference of opinion based on experience or in other cases belief.

I understand where youre coming from but if people with serious cases need to post here, they should feel free to post without having to read some negative posts that you made. Granted theres information you posted that I could see helping people realize that theyre not in this alone, etc. but when youre posting comments/opinions that have no basis in this forum due to the amount of individuals we have that are serious cases of depression. All im asking is you reword your comments next time because I can see how it can offend many people. Again, if you cant seem to agree with what im saying then move on to another forum where you dont have to post around people who are in mental anguish. OR you could take a note from my book and be supportive without sounding condescending.

Well so much for fun and positive cmon guy's wth, if your gonna be all gloom and doom make your own thread!! i don't mind hearing other people's opinion but this was suppose to be a positive thread, dame it!

Well so much for fun and positive cmon guy's wth, if your gonna be all gloom and doom make your own thread!! i don't mind hearing other people's opinion but this was suppose to be a positive thread, dame it!

Dame is the Dutch word for lady.