Took a shower a couple of hours ago, went well.

Gonna put makeup on now.

Ill write later today/tonight.

Yesterday went okay. (I ended up just going to bed instead of checking in, was so very tired).

Today has gone well so far. So this is now day two thats "on".

Ill check in later today/tonight.

So i just wrote a couple of hours ago that things had been going well today so far.

And now, Ive just picked! Half an hour or so.

I had decided to go for a run, and decided that I would try and remove my makeup before (and cover the worst marks/scores with concealer), so i began removing makeup, looking closely to the mirror, looking at some places where a tiny tiny something probably could come out. i started rubbing at those places, pulling at those places (to get the stuff out without squizzing at the skin). But ended up picking in the end, and continued with that.

I was standing there, thinking that I should then write here that Id picked, feels almost kind a like a small confession. I noticed that Im not berring and understaning with myself about enough. I notice that when i start most of the times I continue. And afterwards Im feeling lower and sader than before I picked.

Im now thinking that in order to help myself more, I will try and write here everytime BEFORE I go to the bathroom to wash up and so on. Just to remind myself before i go out there what my plane is, and to write down what time it is, in order to see how long I use washing or putting on make up. Then I will write here afterwards as well.

I did that a while ago, wrote here before and after, and its my hope that it will help me.

And I shoulde "get my mind" around that "confession" thing, reminding me that Im only doing this for my own sake, and that I sholde never ever beat myself up about it!

And, in the furture, as things are right now at least, it will be better to run FIRST, and then wash, so I get some of the stress out by running berfore I go wash. And it will be good to keep kinf of a naturel or larger distande to the mirror, to focus on the whole of me and not some tiny imperfections on my skin.

I wish to treat myself well in every way.

Im thinking that I have to somehow accept this piscking problem, and that Ive had if for years, forgive myself for it, and try to deal with the sorrorw about it, and most of all, try to accept the fact that i pick and accept the urge, in order to let it go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ive had som body therapy since last year when I wrote here, and that seems to be the most heldful Ive ever done for myself, he understood everything about the picking, without me even having told him those things in any sort of detail. i felt much more understood than orther kinds of treatment that Ive tried. So, Im gonna keep going down that road as well.

Now Im in kind of a hurry, have to go in an hour, and get ready and all first, shower, make up, eat.

Ill write tonight BEFORE I go to the bathroom to wash.

Ok. Gonna go wash. Pretty tired.

The time now: 00.48

Ill write afterwards.

So. Went okay. Used a peeling mask (wich I can use max twice a week, that meens not any sooner than sunday).

My face feel smoother now.

I can be even more gentle to my skin.

Ill check in forst thing tomorrow.

ps. the time now: 01:29

this morning went well.

afternoon didnt.

Didnt write before going to the bathroom

Im gonna do some good for myself in other areas, cleaning up for instance, to get out of the feeling of being stuck in other ways. Going for a run as well.

Ill check in tonight/later.

MUST begin to check in again.

Been doing really bad these past days, at a time where I thought I would do better. Picked twice to day, one of them just now before writing this.

Under quite alot of emotional stress. Doesnt know when or if to tell about my problem to new people I meet in my life.

Want the whole thing to go away. Feeling sad, frustrated, wanting to run away, hide, escape.

Something important is coming up sunday, and I dont want to look as bas as now (I want to look great!!)

But better, and not picking from now on, will also be good. Taking it from here no matter what.

But, Ill try to check in from NOW and then at least every morning and night, and before I go to my own bathroom to wash or shower (or at any tim ectually, cause, you never really know)

So its a quater to midnight. And Ill go wash up now. Ill chech in afterwards.

PS. Feel free to coment.

That went fine.

I really really REALLY want it to look better than now! Soon!!

Ill tjeck in when I get up.

Washed my face twice today, went okay.

Im gonna take a shower now.

My date tomorrow is postponed, so now I have the chance to heal more without worrying about tomorrow.

Ill check in after showering and make up.

That went fine.

Healing, looking so much better with and without make up, in any clothes, thats my goal.

Ill write tonight before washing of make up.

Gonna go wash up now.

Its been a 25 hours of being good to my skin now.

Needs time, peace and healing!

Had such an inactive day, feeling tired.

I want to go for a run tomorrow, clean up at home and Id like to get some body-sds exercise done.

Well, Ill check in after washing, before going to bed.

Went okay.

Check in tomorrow when I wake.

I think I need to change approach and strategu to this. From tomorrow monday, I will keep track of how minutes/hours a week I pick. Out of the thought that 5 minutes is better then than minutes, two hours is better than ten hours. Because right now I kind of feel that I loose and start over every time I pick, and I think that leads to giving up, kind a, and just keep on picking once I start. I think you know what I mean.

From tomorrow, counting the time spend picking. Ofcourse the goal i 0 minutes spend, but I hope that it will encourage me to stop sooner than I would if I didnt count the time spend. So theres some reason to stop, and not just think the whole thing is lost or something like that.

I find that some of the hardest is to stop once you start, and that is why Ive keept more to the all or nothing stratery, but I need to do this as well, in orde to give my self a better chance I thing.

Ill check in tomorror when I wake

(sorry for the bad english)

that strategy could work, I'd like to see how it goes for you. good luck.

its going so so bad with my picking.. almost every night.. and some days to.

theres alot of stress and nervousness going on..

should try and check in more often, to try and help myself..

how are you doing with this?

And wow, my very first comment! Thanks.. And then I didnt see it til now..

This morning went fine, I treated my skin well.

Ill go wash my face now, remove make up.

Ill check in afterwards.

Is anyone reading this?

Then please do comment.

So... that didnt work out :S (picked)

Guess I have to much worry, stress and kind a self hatred or self loathing going on these days :S

Ill check in later or first thing tomorrow.