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Not as good as it's been lately, a little broken out. It's a post-weekend thing. As ever, I spent the weekend having late nights, sleeping until until lunch, and ate almost nothing but junk. It's as plain as day that the cycle my skin was in was a direct result of weekend routine because it always used to be be broken out again by Monday/Tuesday. Must learn to stick to my regimen and everything at weekends too! 
Could be far worse I guess, and at least the supplements and things have made my skin heal faster these days, so should be back on track by the end of the week.
It's hard though, sometimes feels like the only way I can get through a whole week without breaking out is to not have light nights out or drink. Whenever I'm out, always seem to come back to an extra pimple or two. 
Really bugs me, especially when I know plenty of people who seem to be able to go out every night and have shocking diets, yet their skin's fine. Their bodies and minds might be wrecked, but at least their skin's fine! 
Today, not depressed but annoyed. Annoyed that I've had 17 years of this nonsense and it shows no sign of going away. Mount Vesuvius is now down a bit more and is really drying up now, which is pleasing. Having to be tied to the time consuming regimen in order to avoid having zits in your 40s when virtually every other guy has completely clear skin isn't.
Part of me is relieved the regimen works for me. But it really is hard going at times. My skin is really sensitive, leaving aside the fact that its prone to acne. Keeping the dryness and flakiness at bay is almost a full time job in itself some days. Then I'll have a spell where it seems much better. Then dry again, minor zits here and there, usually from where I've skimped on the regimen.
Can no longer remember a time where acne wasn't a central point of my life. I know I was clear until I was 25 but I can't recall any more what it was like to need nothing but soap and water for a clear complexion. Why does this happen to some people?
Damn you, acne!
On the up side, a couple of weeks ago my 16 year old niece described me as having 'perfect skin'. Hahahahaha. So the endless work and careful treatment does keep it looking reasonable the majority of the time.
Feeling like I've undone all the hard work of the last few months regarding my skin and my mindset.
Made such a mess of my face this week and I have no idea why. Now I just feel so low. It hurts too, which is the worst thing because I can feel it all the time. So upsetting.
I read something in another topic earlier about age and how acne might be viewed depending on the age of the person dealing with it. Got me thinking...
My acne freaked me out during my teens because I felt like the odd one out. I was lonely anyone so my acne only made those feeling worse. Years later, as an adult, I'm totally out of place amongst the people I have to spend my days with at work. It comes and goes in phases, and how I feel depends on my skin. Felt more hopeful the couple of months as my skin got better, but the underlying feelings of isolation, loneliness, depression and anxiety were still there.
This week my acne has kicked off again and sent those feeling into overdrive. I feel so horrible today. I can usually cope with having to come to work and disliking my job or whatever, if I don't feel too bad in myself, but when I feel like this, everything just seems bad and like it's all going against me. Wish I could just walk out and disappear sometimes.
I assume these things can get harder as we get older. I certainly find it harder to deal with at 25 than I did at 15, for example. My GP told me when I saw him last that my acne is totally different to how it was in my teens and because it was never dealt with properly, it will probably never go away. Thanks a bunch! Despite that statement, he claimed I'd never get a referral for something like Accutane. Go figure.
I wish I could figure out why I always end back in the same destructive cycle. I've made three attempts at this and always end up going back. Last two months have been good as far as my skin was concerned, and I've kept my stress and anxiety under control, even though I've suffered bereavement and been messed around and taken advantage of by a couple of people.
The self loathing is kicking in again because of how my skin looks right now, leaving me thinking, 'Of course those people messed you around, that's all you ever get'. Feeling so worthless and I can't seem to stop it. Hate how I allowed acne to make my emotions so fragile and how it takes so little to feel like I'm about to break.
Granted, it's not just my skin, but that seems to be the thing which pushes my buttons the most. I just want to get away from it, and everything in fact. Wish I didn't find it so hard to make changes. Spent the last five years in the same routines, day after day, and it's all so pointless. Existing rather than living and enjoying life. Suffering.
Not happy at all. Bet I seem like such a hypocrite too. 
Paul, we all go through the ups and downs of acne. It is truly vicious! I know some days I think, 'Why did I ever let acne bother me so much?' then when I have a bad flare up or something I remember and get depressed about it. It may seem hypocritical to you and maybe to others but that's acne for ya, it makes you a bit wacky haha
Existing rather than living and enjoying life.
I've been doing that my whole life, with or without acne =\
I hope you feel better.
I think one of the biggest things is the perception of those who suffer from acne by those who don't. Almost as if you've done something wrong, maybe with a lack of personal hygiene or such, to have spots. Really, in the vast majority of cases, acne isn't a serious condition. It doesn't stop you being fit and healthy, it doesn't cause serious pain in most instances, it's something you'd probably never know you even had if you lived in the wilds, hunting for food, away from mirrors and people.
I've never really understood why some people think it's acceptable to make unpleasant comments about people's acne when they'd never dream of mocking someone with a condition like cancer, MS etc.
I tend to treat acne like a third party these days. It's my stalker. I know people think I must have done something to encourage it, or at least not discourage it, but I haven't. It just suddenly decided to start hanging around me many years ago and refuses to quit pestering me. It knows I'll never accept it as part of my life willingly. I've taken out numerous injunctions against it (in the form of bottles of BP gel lol) which keeps it from being right in my face but I know it's always there, lurking, waiting for the time when I'm less than vigilant.
Probably the best thing is to be proactive. I wish I could be. I'm more open about it than I used to be. I can admit to people that I suffer from acne (it's easy when your skin is clear, bizarrely). I talk about the battle. I can actually relate to many teenagers because they're going through the same - but it's expected when you're a kid. I remember reading an article by Quentin Crisp, who was openly and flamboyantly gay at a time when it was not just socially unacceptable but illegal, an imprisonable offence. That's the attitude to have. Not just be different but be proud of it, even if others might not like it.
Acne pride. If they had a march, a big street party, would you take part? I now openly have acne, though I usually don't have zits on my face (touch wood). When I did, I tried to hide it and wouldn't admit it even to myself for years. One day I just woke up and thought, yeah, I'm an acne sufferer. I've done everything to keep myself clear and gone to, at times, pretty exceptional lengths, such as living on the caveman diet. People who have never suffered acne will never understand what it's like. Fortunately the vast majority of folks neither notice nor care. That's something I've learned over the years.
Sorry for the ramble lol Sign of impending old age, I think. Did you hear that, hormones, old age! An age where acne will probably go away of its own accord for ever 
feelin so sad today. after over 2 months of not having a cyst, i am getting one where one was before. im so depressed, i really thought i wouldnt have to deal with this again. the last one was huge, size of a nickel, and am still dealing with the hyperpigmentation of it..now its filling back up again. the last month has been so great for me, ive been going out, having great time. now im just crying and running to the mirror every 5 minutes. i literally just want to slice off my left cheek...how many cysts can grow in on area? i truly hate how acne effects my well being. it takes all my happiness away, and i know it shouldnt, but it does. makes me a different person. im so upset
I feel like I want to jump in front of a train and punch its lights out. I feel like tearing a pillow apart into little fluffy pieces and then turn on the bedroom fan and throwing them into the air like snowflakes as I'm dancing to every radiohead song there is. I want to run so fast that I lose my breath and can't cry. I want to sue life.
I actually feel okay. I just came back from camping for three days, meaning I only washed my face in the morning with a shower. No moisturizer or anything. I saw myself in the dark bathroom mirror with bad lighting a few times and it was shocking and not pleasant. IM SO GLAD I have bad eye sight because I can never really notice my skin unless I am looking closely in which everything looks worse!!
Camping prob did not look flattering on my skin but I was able to let some stress go and now that I'm home and my face is cleaned it doesnt look too bad. I do have a bunch of tiny chin pimples now (prob from drinking) but a lot of things got smaller and less red I believe.. or just the camping outhouse mirror was just TOO HARSH.
looking forward to my elimination diet 
Im feeling OK regarding my ACNE...because of following my onw regimen, taking supplements and watching what I eat, I think my acne is finally around 90% clear.
but interestingly, as some of you have said, it doesnt seem to matter anymore if my skin is clear, I still have underlying feelings of unworth, of not being good enough...I notice now, it my skin is Ok, I think " I really HATE my hair, why do I have this awful hair". or if not that, than, "Im not as thin as I was when I was 20 how long before I gain a lot of weight?"...just, enough already!
Seems that I always have something to feel worried about instead of just enjoying my life.
Dont we all suffer enough? Why cant I just enjoy my skin being nice instead of constantly thinking "oh god when will it break out again?".
I like your 'stalker' analogy MrFunk, very very true and perceptive. A lot of people who should know better seem to blame the victim for their skin problems. Everyone is so different, some are on these restctive, cut-out-everything- diets, but still have their complexions a mess. Others, hell, they drink every day, eat tons of sugar and Mc Donalds ...even take drugs, and they look like an effing ad for Cover Girl.
Go figure.
Pretty much the polar opposite compared to when I last posted. Got a couple of pimples and the odd scar from when I picked about a week ago, but no big deal at all. Considering the amount I picked, stupidly, I'm just happy it hasn't spread.
Now this breakout is done, I can start again with focusing on not picking. Will see if I can make it last longer than a couple of weeks this time.
Mentally, I'm OK with it. Could be better, but it could be a whole lot worse. Need to try and stabilise the moods really. I don't suppose allowing my skin to swing my mood from one extreme to the other is especially healthy. But, the positivity's coming back so I can start again and see where it goes.
worst thing ever happened today.
my rugby team and our rivals decided to have a "friendly" game cos the seasons over and we're bored. so in the game i supposable stamped on someone and the other teams prop punched me in the face right on a spot. i don't know if any of you have had a big red spot punched but i can tell you it absolutely kills, still hurts 10 hours after. anyway i then got a load of insults about my skin and was picked on for the rest of the game we won though 
Struggled a bit today. The pimple I had yesterday had made a friend with another puss-filled one. I had to go in public today, so I couldn't leave with them there...so I popped the both of them. 
I'm not a big person to pop them usually, but I felt I had to with these ones. They've healed up well now though. Unfortunately I've got another one a few centimetres away. It's a big one too. 
Starting to think this water only method isn't for me at times like this.
I feel...a bit down to be honest today about it, but only because I'm around two weeks into the regimen and therefore I'm breaking out a bit. D: I'm more anxious because I've got a festival in around 2 weeks and I've got my fingers crossed so tightly my skin behaves itself whilst I'm there. :/ otherwise, and I know this is kinda sad of me, it will impact on how much fun I have as I'll feel so self concious. ):
I feel...a bit down to be honest today about it, but only because I'm around two weeks into the regimen and therefore I'm breaking out a bit. D: I'm more anxious because I've got a festival in around 2 weeks and I've got my fingers crossed so tightly my skin behaves itself whilst I'm there. :/ otherwise, and I know this is kinda sad of me, it will impact on how much fun I have as I'll feel so self concious. ):
Welcome to the Org!
What festival are you going to? I'm going to Sonisphere, that's around the same time.
I get where you're coming from, it's not sad at all. I'm a little concerned that I won't be able to maintain my regimen and that it might really mess my skin up. I figure I'll just try not to stress about it and try to keep my skin clean. I suppose at least if it looks good when I get there, it won't really break out until I a few days later when I get home, so I might be able to bluff my way through it.
I feel...a bit down to be honest today about it, but only because I'm around two weeks into the regimen and therefore I'm breaking out a bit. D: I'm more anxious because I've got a festival in around 2 weeks and I've got my fingers crossed so tightly my skin behaves itself whilst I'm there. :/ otherwise, and I know this is kinda sad of me, it will impact on how much fun I have as I'll feel so self concious. ):
Welcome to the Org!
What festival are you going to? I'm going to Sonisphere, that's around the same time.
I get where you're coming from, it's not sad at all. I'm a little concerned that I won't be able to maintain my regimen and that it might really mess my skin up. I figure I'll just try not to stress about it and try to keep my skin clean. I suppose at least if it looks good when I get there, it won't really break out until I a few days later when I get home, so I might be able to bluff my way through it.
Thanks! I've been browing on these message boards for so long I just figured I may as well sign up. (:
I'm going to Sonisphere too! That's my main worry as well because I cleared up amazingly last year and then the whole four day camping threw my skin of track horribly but luckily that didn't happen until I'd got home (which still doesn't make breaking out OK but I suppose in the situation, it's the best thing!) Hopefully though we'll both be OK and it will be quite hard to not enjoy ourselves what with all the amazing bands etc. (:
I am feeling bad today. I looked in the mirror and I have 4 active cysts. I feel bad because I am turning 30 next week and I have never known a time when I haven't had severe acne on my cheeks. My acne started when I was 13. It cleared a little when I was on Accutane but it came back with a vengence 2 years later.
I was doing well last week because I started a new treatment but now I have lost hope again.
I feel good as I once again have virtually clear skin and it looks like Mount Vesuvius isn't going to leave a significant scar, despite it being probably the largest zit I've ever had. BP sorted it out much faster than would have been the case otherwise.
Annoyed that the increased BP usage has turned my neck to the consistency of old leather. You could make a pair of shoes out of my neck skin right now. If I was a woman I'd probably being having a complete breakdown. Going to stop using BP on my neck - only ever used it intermittently there when I've had the odd big spot appear. I'd rather have the odd spot than skin this dry and flaky.
