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Not that I'm downplaying what you've written in any way, but by far the most exciting thing about seeing this post was your change of profile picture! I hope the two little fellas are getting on alright still.
It will be 3 weeks tomorrow since I was referred to Recovery and Independent Living and I'm still just on their pending list. Can't get referrals for anything until I get a CPN, and I can't get a CPN until they decide I'm worth offering an assessment appointment to. Anybody's guess when that will be and seeing as I've been deemed to ill to even do CBT now I am basically screwed and have no treatment options at all. The crisis team have even said to me that the only thing that's going to help me now is seeing a psychologist for some kind of psychotherapy and that even if I were well enough to do CBT they didn't think it would do much good anyway. Yet the wait has still been estimated to be anything between 4 and 18 months. I plan to haunt whoever's in charge of the NHS mental health system from the grave when I have to finally admit defeat and leave this world haha. Would be interested to hear your suggestion, but from the sounds of it I won't like it too much. Hope you keep safe too. At least you're in the system now and somebody has noticed and cared about your struggles, that's a start.
Haha, well the two little fellas are certainly more interesting and exciting than anything I`ve got to say. They`re are getting on very well thanks and are a lot bigger now. 
Everything you describe sums up what is wrong with the NHS mental health system. For starters, there are too many different bodies/organisations and they don`t communicate. Waiting lists are too long and there is no scope or appears to be no scope for people who need help and support immediately to get it. I cannot believe that the Recovery and Independent Living people are taking so long to deal with your referral either. I really feel for you as the system is working against you and you deserve better. The equivalent organisation in my area is known as the Brighton and Hove Integrated Care Service (BICS) and they were able to put me under the care of my local CMHT and I saw a CPN within three days after my GP referred me. There seems to be vastly different waiting times depending on the area you live in. Thanks. I`m fortunate that I`m in the system and care even though I have no idea how long it will be before I am able to have any treatment/therapy. Regarding my suggestion, I`ll PM you.
ive been following along w/ you UKers and Im nothing short of appalled at your health care system. this is not a pro-US post, but geez, i dont need a referral for any specialist or any mental health treatment. There's no cap on the # of visits. I feel bad for you guys. Good luck.
Its so alarming to me that people w/ a serious mental health issue are brushed off to the side. If I couldnt get (almost) immediate attention to what I needed, I dont know what would have happened to me. Stay strong and my best wishes for all of you
ive been following along w/ you UKers and Im nothing short of appalled at your health care system. this is not a pro-US post, but geez, i dont need a referral for any specialist or any mental health treatment. There's no cap on the # of visits. I feel bad for you guys. Good luck.
Its so alarming to me that people w/ a serious mental health issue are brushed off to the side. If I couldnt get (almost) immediate attention to what I needed, I dont know what would have happened to me. Stay strong and my best wishes for all of you
Thank goodz19.
In principle, the concept of the NHS and free healthcare is a good one and I know that there is no equivalent in the US. However I can assure you that it is nothing to be envious of. On the MH side of things at least it is a bureaucratic nightmare, the waiting lists are ridiculous and you only seem to be heard if you shout and scream and even then you can go unnoticed. I`m pretty sure that there are lots of people in the UK who are suffering with MH issues that are going untreated due to either having too much anxiety or having given up completely. The people who are suffering are the patients and it`s a complete disgrace. Sorry, rant over!
Mental health side of things is still absolutely abysmal and I've taken to barricading myself in my room and curling up in bed for hours on end whenever I feel that suicidal state come on because what with how useless my crisis team is and the fact that I can't phone anyone it's literally the only thing I can do to keep myself safe at the moment.
However on the skin front *touch wood* I seem to be doing quite well. In fact my skin seems to have been remarkably better since I changed antidepressants from Sertraline (Zoloft) to Venlafaxine (Effexor). I always suspected that the Sertraline might have played a role in the horrific outbreak of nodular-cystic acne I had at the beginning of this summer (about a month after I started taking it). But if my skin continues to do this well on the Venlafaxine then I think that might end up confirming those suspicions that both my GP and dermatologist shrugged off as something they'd never heard of and didn't think was possible. Early days still as I've only been on the Venlafaxine for 5 weeks so far, but it will be interesting to see if the pattern continues. Definitely hoping that it does, but it would be really nice if the actual antidepressant effect would start kicking in at some point as well!
I'm heading into exam week at uni so I'm braced for more of a breakout if I end up with higher stress levels and lack of sleep. This past week has been ok though - I've been at home most of the week for study so I've taken advantage of that and given my skin a complete break from any sort of makeup. It's also been a good opportunity to catch up on sleep and actually relax a little. I had been breaking out a fair bit but this is starting to clear. I've also gone back over how I'm going the regimen and making sure to apply each step as described. I've also been starting to apply a small amount in the mornings again and I plan to stick with it this time. When I first started the regimen and began applying in the morning as well as evening, the dryness was way too much for me to handle so I stuck to evening application only. This did really help me but I think I need to add some BP in the morning to see better / maintained results and stop breakouts / further lessen their frequency. Hopefully I don't have to apply the full amount of BP in the mornings though and can get by with just a pea-sized amount. I've also added in using AHA every 3 or so nights (just a small amount in with moisturiser) - hopefully this will help with all the red marks I have. I'm also braced for AHA causing breakouts - I noticed it was breaking me out when I first tried it on the regimen but didn't realise that can be an initial phase with AHA for some people. So pushing through it this time if it does happen. But so far, so good. (What's the bet I've jinxed myself and wake up with a lovely breakout in the morning 
)
Mental health side of things is still absolutely abysmal and I've taken to barricading myself in my room and curling up in bed for hours on end whenever I feel that suicidal state come on because what with how useless my crisis team is and the fact that I can't phone anyone it's literally the only thing I can do to keep myself safe at the moment.
However on the skin front *touch wood* I seem to be doing quite well. In fact my skin seems to have been remarkably better since I changed antidepressants from Sertraline (Zoloft) to Venlafaxine (Effexor). I always suspected that the Sertraline might have played a role in the horrific outbreak of nodular-cystic acne I had at the beginning of this summer (about a month after I started taking it). But if my skin continues to do this well on the Venlafaxine then I think that might end up confirming those suspicions that both my GP and dermatologist shrugged off as something they'd never heard of and didn't think was possible. Early days still as I've only been on the Venlafaxine for 5 weeks so far, but it will be interesting to see if the pattern continues. Definitely hoping that it does, but it would be really nice if the actual antidepressant effect would start kicking in at some point as well!
Sorry Moonlit, I clicked "like" by accident on this post earlier. It`s good that your skin is doing better and maybe there is a link between Sertraline and acne after all.
On the Mental Health side of things, really sorry that you are still suffering so much. The crisis team do indeed sound useless and I`m sorry that you are having to go to such lengths to keep safe. I know myself that the NHS are pretty useless and I hope that you are at least getting some help and support from elsewhere. Look after yourself and stay safe.
As for me, well all the obsession with healthy eating has gone out of the window of late and I`ve put a stone in weight on in the past three weeks due to the amount of junk I`m eating. I`m broken out but it`s not as severe as I would have thought given how appalling my diet has been lately. For instance this morning for breakfast, because I got up so late and just washed, got dressed and headed out for my counselling session, I had a chocolate tart and a full-fat cappuccino from a coffee shop near to where I live.
On the mental health side of things, I feel quite a bit brighter. Been on 40mg of Citalopram a day for two weeks now so maybe that is helping. I want to go back to work but the only problem is that my concentration is shot to pieces and I`m laying in quite late so I need to sort that out.
Mental health side of things is still absolutely abysmal and I've taken to barricading myself in my room and curling up in bed for hours on end whenever I feel that suicidal state come on because what with how useless my crisis team is and the fact that I can't phone anyone it's literally the only thing I can do to keep myself safe at the moment.
However on the skin front *touch wood* I seem to be doing quite well. In fact my skin seems to have been remarkably better since I changed antidepressants from Sertraline (Zoloft) to Venlafaxine (Effexor). I always suspected that the Sertraline might have played a role in the horrific outbreak of nodular-cystic acne I had at the beginning of this summer (about a month after I started taking it). But if my skin continues to do this well on the Venlafaxine then I think that might end up confirming those suspicions that both my GP and dermatologist shrugged off as something they'd never heard of and didn't think was possible. Early days still as I've only been on the Venlafaxine for 5 weeks so far, but it will be interesting to see if the pattern continues. Definitely hoping that it does, but it would be really nice if the actual antidepressant effect would start kicking in at some point as well!
I was very worried about taking venlafaxine fearing it would cause a breakout for me. I'm in my third week now and so far my skin is lovely and clear (but covered with PIH, of course). For me, MH speaking, it's been up and down. The second week on the drug I felt *really* good, which was nice... confidence coming back, etc. This past week has been much more difficult. Yesterday I experienced something that felt like a panic attack which sent me running out of lecture and walking around the uni campus trying to calm myself down. My anxiety has seemed more intense but it's levelling out now. I guess it depends on the person but with this AD I'm thinking it's up and down like this until the effect balances.
I've been considering coming off bcps for quite a while but right now I am seriously considering it because my blood pressure has been quite high [ever since getting on bcp it has been higher than my normal but now it's insanely high]. I took a good look at my skin in natural light and it looks so much better than it did pre-bcp, my pores are smaller I have like 2 actives and my problem areas are not as bad [granted I am out of school now] - and I thought, if I come off bcp and my acne gets back to how it was I don't think I'd make it, just thinking about it - I almost cried.
I feel like I have this internal debate like every few days, I'm tired of it! Also my gyn is booked until august (!) so I can't even talk to her about it, I can see the other doctor but I don't like her as much, and my presciption is over in april so I really have to think about this soon. Does anyone have any stories about coming off bcp?
EDIT this is making me think about all the risks we'd take just to have clear skin, it's sad that acne has such a hold.
Really sorry to hear about the near panic attack yesterday Kalinka. We spoke earlier and although it wasn`t a pleasant experience, I think that going for a walk was possibly the best thing that you could have done under the circumstances. Glad you are feeling okay now. Hopefully it was just an isolated incident and the last few days apart, it sounds as though venlafaxine has worked pretty well for you. I`m sure that when you fully get used to the new AD, you will be fine.
I was very worried about taking venlafaxine fearing it would cause a breakout for me. I'm in my third week now and so far my skin is lovely and clear (but covered with PIH, of course). For me, MH speaking, it's been up and down. The second week on the drug I felt *really* good, which was nice... confidence coming back, etc. This past week has been much more difficult. Yesterday I experienced something that felt like a panic attack which sent me running out of lecture and walking around the uni campus trying to calm myself down. My anxiety has seemed more intense but it's levelling out now. I guess it depends on the person but with this AD I'm thinking it's up and down like this until the effect balances.
Sorry Moonlit, I clicked "like" by accident on this post earlier. It`s good that your skin is doing better and maybe there is a link between Sertraline and acne after all.
On the Mental Health side of things, really sorry that you are still suffering so much. The crisis team do indeed sound useless and I`m sorry that you are having to go to such lengths to keep safe. I know myself that the NHS are pretty useless and I hope that you are at least getting some help and support from elsewhere. Look after yourself and stay safe.
As for me, well all the obsession with healthy eating has gone out of the window of late and I`ve put a stone in weight on in the past three weeks due to the amount of junk I`m eating. I`m broken out but it`s not as severe as I would have thought given how appalling my diet has been lately. For instance this morning for breakfast, because I got up so late and just washed, got dressed and headed out for my counselling session, I had a chocolate tart and a full-fat cappuccino from a coffee shop near to where I live.
On the mental health side of things, I feel quite a bit brighter. Been on 40mg of Citalopram a day for two weeks now so maybe that is helping. I want to go back to work but the only problem is that my concentration is shot to pieces and I`m laying in quite late so I need to sort that out.
My crisis team were supposed to call me last night and completely forgot about me so unless they decide to remember me I'm on my own for the weekend. Absolutely useless. My uni wellbeing centre has been amazingly supportive over the past few weeks having suddenly taken an interest in me once I reached crisis point after leaving me on a waiting list for 4 months last term. Without them I really don't think I'd still be here. Only problem is they're not open at weekends!
I've been eating really badly as a result of all this mental health stuff too but for me it's gone the other way, as in I have no appetite and can't be bothered so end up down to one meal a day some days. I'm trying to get it back to a regular three now though but don't always manage it. Doesn't seem to have had an effect on my skin either way. I've just had my Venlafaxine dose increased again so I really hope that helps.
I was very worried about taking venlafaxine fearing it would cause a breakout for me. I'm in my third week now and so far my skin is lovely and clear (but covered with PIH, of course). For me, MH speaking, it's been up and down. The second week on the drug I felt *really* good, which was nice... confidence coming back, etc. This past week has been much more difficult. Yesterday I experienced something that felt like a panic attack which sent me running out of lecture and walking around the uni campus trying to calm myself down. My anxiety has seemed more intense but it's levelling out now. I guess it depends on the person but with this AD I'm thinking it's up and down like this until the effect balances.
Well if it helps, I've been on it nearly 6 weeks now and my skin *touch wood* hasn't been breaking out. I'm hoping this is a good sign because on Sertraline I was already getting massive cysts by this point. Right now I'm the same as you: clear of active acne but just playing the waiting game with all the hyperpigmentation! In my understanding, any positive effects you get from an antidepressant in the first two weeks are generally put down to the placebo effect because it takes at least 2-3 weeks of any new antidepressant for enough to build up in your system to reach therapeutic level. This might explain why you've felt a bit up and down so far, but depending on your dose from now on any effects should be "real" so to speak. I have quite a lot of experience with panic and anxiety attacks and they're horrible things so I'm sorry to hear you suffered one the other day. If you ever want any advice/reassurance from someone who's been there you're always welcome to PM me. Hopefully it will be a one off for you, but I know a couple of breathing techniques that can help if it's a persistent problem for you. I've been getting them a whole lot these past three weeks but have been put on a massive amount of diazepam which has helped a lot. Unfortunately I'm already having to taper off it because it's addictive in the long run though. Hope things start to improve for you soon!
Think my appalling diet of late is finally catching up with me as I have a massive cyst forming on my left temple and my neck, jawlines and sideburn areas are breaking out a little. I look pretty horrid tonight and it has not helped my mood. Feeling pretty sad,low and isolated and full of self-hatred and self-loathing. Wish I was a better person inside and out.
Just as an aside and something totally unrelated, I have today heard that somebody I know has suffered a truly devastating personal loss. I`ve not been a good friend and I`ve treated them appallingly and let them down really badly in the past. Due to that I`m not in contact with them anymore but I`m thinking of them and I hope that they are okay.
Well if it helps, I've been on it nearly 6 weeks now and my skin *touch wood* hasn't been breaking out. I'm hoping this is a good sign because on Sertraline I was already getting massive cysts by this point. Right now I'm the same as you: clear of active acne but just playing the waiting game with all the hyperpigmentation! In my understanding, any positive effects you get from an antidepressant in the first two weeks are generally put down to the placebo effect because it takes at least 2-3 weeks of any new antidepressant for enough to build up in your system to reach therapeutic level. This might explain why you've felt a bit up and down so far, but depending on your dose from now on any effects should be "real" so to speak. I have quite a lot of experience with panic and anxiety attacks and they're horrible things so I'm sorry to hear you suffered one the other day. If you ever want any advice/reassurance from someone who's been there you're always welcome to PM me. Hopefully it will be a one off for you, but I know a couple of breathing techniques that can help if it's a persistent problem for you. I've been getting them a whole lot these past three weeks but have been put on a massive amount of diazepam which has helped a lot. Unfortunately I'm already having to taper off it because it's addictive in the long run though. Hope things start to improve for you soon!
Moonlit, thank you very much for your kind offer. I always find talking to people who really understand and even share the feelings I do much more helpful and consoling than talking to those who cannot or do not understand. I know they are trying to help, but constantly getting advice about how to "manage my time" to deal with anxiety or about "changing up my routine" to deal with my depression really does not help at all. In the end it actually just becomes annoying. Just talking to someone about how I feel provides me with some feeling of validation, and is a comfort because then someone else will know what kind of emotional crisis I'm in which seems to lift a bit of the weight of it off me.
Luckily my campus is right next to a forest so I often go out there to be on my own when I am feeling stressed. I've been known to practically run out of class to go there on occasion, haha! I probably look a bit mad but oh well.
So my skin is so so my few spots are healing but I picked them so they are now bright red scabs...I just can't seem to leave my skin alone 
I am sorry you guys are struggling, I have up and down days, I function pretty well when I'm feeling ok about my skin and don't function at all when I don't. My bdd is creeping in to other parts of my body now too as I feel very conscious of my weight now too. I just wanted to share my experience with anti depressants. I take sertraline and luckily it hadn't affected my skin but it did take about 6 weeks before I felt any benefit and in those 6 weeks I actually felt worse and my anxiety increased hugely. The doctors at the day hospital I had to go to explained this can happen in the early stages of taking any AD. I took diazepam but like you say it's very addictive so it was a short term thing. The best thing that happened for me is a psychiatric doctor put me on a low dose of olanzapine, it's great for anxiety symptoms, helps you sleep and increases your appetite as I couldn't eat and dropped down to 6 stone, I felt the difference from the first week, it is also for aliviating obsessive thoughts.
As for the crisis team forgetting you that's awful, do you have a friend or family member who can help you and get in touch with them to make them understand you need everyday support. My husband had to contact everyone for me as I was too ill to do it for myself and in the end they came out to visit my everyday until I started going to the hospital. Please don't feel alone, we are all here for you
Skin is a little better and cyst on temple is going but I`m still continuing to eat appallingly, On the MH side of things, I`m not doing too great and did something that was stupid in the early hours of this morning and ended up sleeping for most of the day. Everything has gone completely wrong (my fault entirely) and even when I try to do the right thing these days, I get it all wrong. Six months ago, everything looked so optimistic and I had all these grand plans and since then, my life has just gone from bad to worse. Sorry for the self-woe tale. Wish I could turn the clock back six months and do everything differently.
@kyou - I'm so sorry that you heard that, you don't need that person in your life.
I'm feeling good about my skin but - I have decided to stop taking bcp, today is my last pill for the month and I'm just going to hope it'll work out. I am genuinely frightened, I mean the first post I made in this thread was from a low low point in my life and skin. As a result I hope my blood pressure goes back to normal and my skin doesn't go crazy. If it does go back to what it was, or worse, it will break me down. I may make a thread about my progress. I'm trying to tell myself my overall health is more important than acne, but in reality - we all know acne practically kills your spirit [sounds overly dramatic haha but it's true!].
EDIT: Well I feel like an idiot, I keep thinking about my acne coming back and I started crying so bad. I don't know what to do now. So, ignore this post.
Ended up crying for the first time today because of my acne. I'm a 22 year old guy, been clear on minocycline 100mg/day for 4 months. got a small outbreak today and realized im becoming resistant to it. Made me go back into the past when i was dealing with all those pus filled acne around my mouth. Felt horrible, called my dad, he talked to me and made me feel better.
Just wish it would go away somehow
MY LIFE FEELING BETTER. I have about 4 nodules or solid lumpy-acne on the top right of my forehead but so far I'm not brawling-out majorly...
But I hate the solid nodules... Takes about 2months and and a half days for it to go away... But I'm feeling great on the other hand.
Sorry to hear you're not feeling the best at the moment. You are right though, your overall health is more important than how your skin is - but I completely understand why you're feeling how you are about it all. A few weeks ago I was thinking about stopping the regimen but the idea of my acne going back to how it was before the regimen really panicked and upset me. Can you see your doctor about starting something else for your skin - either topical or an antibiotic or possibly a different BCP that won't effect your blood pressure?
Sending a big virtual hug your way 
Not sure if I`m allowed to do this but I`ve noticed a few people (especially from the UK) have been posting on this thread about depression and anxiety. Last night I discovered a website called No More Panic. It is very comprehensive and has forums on all types of anxiety, depression and other health issues and even has sub-forums for individual anti-depressants such as citalopram, sertraline etc. There is a wealth of information and support on there. For some reason, I don`t seem to be able to use the insert link button on here so if anyone is interested in having a browse, the website address is:- www.nomorepanic.co.uk
lilly75
Sorry to hear you're not feeling the best at the moment. You are right though, your overall health is more important than how your skin is - but I completely understand why you're feeling how you are about it all. A few weeks ago I was thinking about stopping the regimen but the idea of my acne going back to how it was before the regimen really panicked and upset me. Can you see your doctor about starting something else for your skin - either topical or an antibiotic or possibly a different BCP that won't effect your blood pressure?
Sending a big virtual hug your way
You're the best, thank you for that encouragement! 
I am not glad you know what I feel - but also glad you know what I meant, I was a wreck last night thinking about it, I am still a bit upset. I'm going to be watching my skin like a hawk which isn't a good idea. Well I'm going to, hopefully, see where I land in a month or two and then make an appointment if needed. I don't really wanna go back on BCP, I didn't really like the idea of taking it but before, I was desperate and took it. I mean, I'd have to quit it eventually so better do it now I guess.
Thanks again 
(anyone else not able to quote posts lately?)
No worries Glad to be of some sort of help/support
I know it's way easier said than done, and that I'd struggle with it too - but if you can, try not to focus on your skin too much or become to obsessed with how it's going. If you can find a way to distract yourself, do that!
I was thinking about BCP too before going on the regimen, but I also didn't like the idea of it much and potential side effects really worried me (even though I know thousands of women around the world take it without major issues). I still consider taking it for my skin - but again, know that I'd come off it eventually too...
Fingers crossed it all goes well for you