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Still feeling ok about my skin, noticed a small pimple on my right cheek but its very small and I think dabbing a little medication on it will clear it up in no time. Ive also noticed that this will be my 3rd month without a bad break out right before my time of month which is amazing since I've been having bad flare ups for as long as I can remember right before starting my period, hopefully this will last 
Well I've been on spiro 50 mg for 8 days now and still doing good with no side effects so all in all I'm feeling good
Rough time right now, and it's definitely showing in my skin. My dog and my grandmother just died weeks apart, I had a cutting relapse (after being "clean" for around 9 months), I'm back in therapy for depression, I was diagnosed with BDD and I'm being "treated" for what my doctors and therapists think is an eating disorder, so now I feel like a fat bloated pig. I've been eating bad, breaking out, and the size of my pores is making me crazy. You know it's bad when you're laying in bed awake at one in the morning, crying because your skin is so bad and you have no hope it will ever get better and you just want to die, and your tears sting your face because your skin is so irritated from your acne medication. And then you have to get up every morning and put on your face of makeup and your skin is so dry it looks like the cracked earth during a drought, and you have to deal with people everyday making little comments about your appearance, judging you and making you feel even worse about yourself, when you could have done that all by yourself.
So yeah, life's great.
Sorry to hear about your grandma AND your dog. That sux. Your post resonated w/ me. Just know, you're not alone. Ive been there many times myself w/ the same things you;ve described. Good luck
On 10/30/2013 at 3:03 AM, TheSavyBanana said:Rough time right now, and it's definitely showing in my skin. My dog and my grandmother just died weeks apart, I had a cutting relapse (after being "clean" for around 9 months), I'm back in therapy for depression, I was diagnosed with BDD and I'm being "treated" for what my doctors and therapists think is an eating disorder, so now I feel like a fat bloated pig. I've been eating bad, breaking out, and the size of my pores is making me crazy. You know it's bad when you're laying in bed awake at one in the morning, crying because your skin is so bad and you have no hope it will ever get better and you just want to die, and your tears sting your face because your skin is so irritated from your acne medication. And then you have to get up every morning and put on your face of makeup and your skin is so dry it looks like the cracked earth during a drought, and you have to deal with people everyday making little comments about your appearance, judging you and making you feel even worse about yourself, when you could have done that all by yourself.
So yeah, life's great.
So sorry for your losses. I could feel your pain in every sentence you wrote. I completely understand the feeling of waking up and knowing for sure that when you go to the mirror, it'll be an exhausting effort to try to look presentable enough for the day. To the BDD, to the disordered eating, to the makeup on the dry, peeling skin, I understand. Please hang in there.
On 10/30/2013 at 4:06 AM, maria199 said:Someone cursed me, there is no other explanation.. the derm wouldn't prescribe antibiotics but suggested accutane! I cured my acne almost alone the previous time with spiro.. doctors only suggested things that didn't work.. and the medicine that changed my life, they don't like it but accutane is fine for them! If there wasn't that dermatology lesson at the university i doubt i would have at least the 2 beautiful years spiro gave me.
It's so frustrating when doctors don't give you when you think will help. I always feel powerless when I go to the doctors. Even though I do a TON of research before going, I always feel like my words are sort of ignored and the doctors just do what they want. Did they give you a reason for not prescribing spiro?
Skin/Feelings Update: I traveled earlier this week and that ALWAYS gives me a zit or two. I got two this time, but they're going away and don't hurt. My red marks are going away and I feel like I'm going to have decent skin by the time basic training rolls around. Paula's Choice 5% AHA is now a "Holy Grail" product for me, and that's never happened before. All of my other products have qualities that I don't like, but not Paula's Choice AHA. Also, the Olay brush is keeping my skin soft AND helping my red marks. The best thing I'm doing for my skin is still NOT PICKING IT. Ugh, it's so hard because I know for a fact that I have Compulsive Skin Picking issues.. But seriously, if I can stop, so can you. So! Message me if you'd like to talk about stopping your picking.
Someone cursed me, there is no other explanation.. the derm wouldn't prescribe antibiotics but suggested accutane! I cured my acne almost alone the previous time with spiro.. doctors only suggested things that didn't work.. and the medicine that changed my life, they don't like it but accutane is fine for them! If there wasn't that dermatology lesson at the university i doubt i would have at least the 2 beautiful years spiro gave me.
It's so frustrating when doctors don't give you when you think will help. I always feel powerless when I go to the doctors. Even though I do a TON of research before going, I always feel like my words are sort of ignored and the doctors just do what they want. Did they give you a reason for not prescribing spiro?
Skin/Feelings Update: I traveled earlier this week and that ALWAYS gives me a zit or two. I got two this time, but they're going away and don't hurt. My red marks are going away and I feel like I'm going to have decent skin by the time basic training rolls around. Paula's Choice 5% AHA is now a "Holy Grail" product for me, and that's never happened before. All of my other products have qualities that I don't like, but not Paula's Choice AHA. Also, the Olay brush is keeping my skin soft AND helping my red marks. The best thing I'm doing for my skin is still NOT PICKING IT. Ugh, it's so hard because I know for a fact that I have Compulsive Skin Picking issues..
But seriously, if I can stop, so can you. So! Message me if you'd like to talk about stopping your picking.
My ob/gyn prescribed spiro.. but with all the weight loss etc this dosage is possibly wrong and who knows how much time will pass before i hit the right one. So i asked the derm for antibiotics and he said that i shouldn't be back on spiro and that the best solution is accutane. There are so many women here who did the opposite and swear by spiro because after many courses of accutane their acne still came back until they tried spiro! My acne is mostly papulopustular and i have found a medicine that works, i just need some time to adjust the dosage, why the hell try accutane?
I feel nervous/good today. My skin has been clearing up these past three weeks. I'm just afraid that I'll wake up tomorrow with a breakout and all my progress will be gone. I really hope I found a routine that works for me. If it doesn't, I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Rough time right now, and it's definitely showing in my skin. My dog and my grandmother just died weeks apart, I had a cutting relapse (after being "clean" for around 9 months), I'm back in therapy for depression, I was diagnosed with BDD and I'm being "treated" for what my doctors and therapists think is an eating disorder, so now I feel like a fat bloated pig. I've been eating bad, breaking out, and the size of my pores is making me crazy. You know it's bad when you're laying in bed awake at one in the morning, crying because your skin is so bad and you have no hope it will ever get better and you just want to die, and your tears sting your face because your skin is so irritated from your acne medication. And then you have to get up every morning and put on your face of makeup and your skin is so dry it looks like the cracked earth during a drought, and you have to deal with people everyday making little comments about your appearance, judging you and making you feel even worse about yourself, when you could have done that all by yourself.
So yeah, life's great.
Oh Savy - I'm so sorry to hear of the rough time you're going through right now!
You're such a lovely girl and have been a great help to many people here in the past (myself included) so I hate to hear you're feeling this way and really hope you're doing better soon.
Hang in there
Thank you, that's really nice to hear! You are so supportive. I'm trying to hold on, it's so hard sometimes though. :/
Rough time right now, and it's definitely showing in my skin. My dog and my grandmother just died weeks apart, I had a cutting relapse (after being "clean" for around 9 months), I'm back in therapy for depression, I was diagnosed with BDD and I'm being "treated" for what my doctors and therapists think is an eating disorder, so now I feel like a fat bloated pig. I've been eating bad, breaking out, and the size of my pores is making me crazy. You know it's bad when you're laying in bed awake at one in the morning, crying because your skin is so bad and you have no hope it will ever get better and you just want to die, and your tears sting your face because your skin is so irritated from your acne medication. And then you have to get up every morning and put on your face of makeup and your skin is so dry it looks like the cracked earth during a drought, and you have to deal with people everyday making little comments about your appearance, judging you and making you feel even worse about yourself, when you could have done that all by yourself.
So yeah, life's great.
Sorry to hear about your grandma AND your dog. That sux. Your post resonated w/ me. Just know, you're not alone. Ive been there many times myself w/ the same things you;ve described. Good luck
Thank you so much. It's always nice to know someone else knows what I'm going through. <3
Rough time right now, and it's definitely showing in my skin. My dog and my grandmother just died weeks apart, I had a cutting relapse (after being "clean" for around 9 months), I'm back in therapy for depression, I was diagnosed with BDD and I'm being "treated" for what my doctors and therapists think is an eating disorder, so now I feel like a fat bloated pig. I've been eating bad, breaking out, and the size of my pores is making me crazy. You know it's bad when you're laying in bed awake at one in the morning, crying because your skin is so bad and you have no hope it will ever get better and you just want to die, and your tears sting your face because your skin is so irritated from your acne medication. And then you have to get up every morning and put on your face of makeup and your skin is so dry it looks like the cracked earth during a drought, and you have to deal with people everyday making little comments about your appearance, judging you and making you feel even worse about yourself, when you could have done that all by yourself.
So yeah, life's great.
So sorry for your losses
I could feel your pain in every sentence you wrote. I completely understand the feeling of waking up and knowing for sure that when you go to the mirror, it'll be an exhausting effort to try to look presentable enough for the day. To the BDD, to the disordered eating, to the makeup on the dry, peeling skin, I understand. Please hang in there.
Someone cursed me, there is no other explanation.. the derm wouldn't prescribe antibiotics but suggested accutane! I cured my acne almost alone the previous time with spiro.. doctors only suggested things that didn't work.. and the medicine that changed my life, they don't like it but accutane is fine for them! If there wasn't that dermatology lesson at the university i doubt i would have at least the 2 beautiful years spiro gave me.
It's so frustrating when doctors don't give you when you think will help. I always feel powerless when I go to the doctors. Even though I do a TON of research before going, I always feel like my words are sort of ignored and the doctors just do what they want. Did they give you a reason for not prescribing spiro?
Skin/Feelings Update: I traveled earlier this week and that ALWAYS gives me a zit or two. I got two this time, but they're going away and don't hurt. My red marks are going away and I feel like I'm going to have decent skin by the time basic training rolls around. Paula's Choice 5% AHA is now a "Holy Grail" product for me, and that's never happened before. All of my other products have qualities that I don't like, but not Paula's Choice AHA. Also, the Olay brush is keeping my skin soft AND helping my red marks. The best thing I'm doing for my skin is still NOT PICKING IT. Ugh, it's so hard because I know for a fact that I have Compulsive Skin Picking issues..
Thank you, your support means a lot. Having bad skin is so hard. It makes every other aspect of life that much more complicated. I'm glad I'm not alone in this, but I'm also sorry you have to deal with these things too.
I remember from a while ago when we briefly spoke on the forum.
I think you're very attractive. Aren't you that artist? You wear glasses, right?
I remember from a while ago when we briefly spoke on the forum.
You have really nice facial features.
I hate my skin, I hate myself, and I hate my life. Why does it never get any better?!
Sorry but I think you're mixing me up with someone else!
Oh, well then I take it back. 
I think you're very attractive. Aren't you that artist? You wear glasses, right?
You have really nice facial features.
I hate my skin, I hate myself, and I hate my life. Why does it never get any better?!
Sorry but I think you're mixing me up with someone else!
On 11/1/2013 at 6:27 PM, MoonlitRiver said:I hate my skin, I hate myself, and I hate my life. Why does it never get any better?!
I hope you feel better soon! Sending hugs!
I'm feeling ok at the moment but the past few days have been absolutely terrible. I've had all this stress, worry and anxiety building up (some due to uni assignments) and I completely fell apart a few days ago. Bad anxiety / panic attacks, crying a lot, feeling sick, cold then hot, shaky, not able to eat, wasn't able to work on uni work (somehow got it together and got them in on time though).
Went and saw my doctor yesterday and he gave me the details of a psychologist who is supposedly very good with anxiety in particular. He wants me to go see him just for one or two sessions. I've been wanting to / thinking I should go see a psychologist for a while just to talk things out with someone but always been too scare to go. Still haven't made the appointment. Don't know if I will.
I hate my skin, I hate myself, and I hate my life. Why does it never get any better?!
Oh no sorry you're feeling like this - I just read in your thread of the improvements you've had in your skin! Remember that and how far your skin has come
I'm feeling ok at the moment but the past few days have been absolutely terrible. I've had all this stress, worry and anxiety building up (some due to uni assignments) and I completely fell apart a few days ago. Bad anxiety / panic attacks, crying a lot, feeling sick, cold then hot, shaky, not able to eat, wasn't able to work on uni work (somehow got it together and got them in on time though).
Went and saw my doctor yesterday and he gave me the details of a psychologist who is supposedly very good with anxiety in particular. He wants me to go see him just for one or two sessions. I've been wanting to / thinking I should go see a psychologist for a while just to talk things out with someone but always been too scare to go. Still haven't made the appointment. Don't know if I will.
I hate my skin, I hate myself, and I hate my life. Why does it never get any better?!
Oh no
Thanks Lilly. I'm trying to remind myself of the improvements but unfortunately, as seems to happen every time I post something positive about my skin, I'm now breaking out again!
I'm sorry to hear you're having such issues with anxiety. My GP recently referred me for CBT for social anxiety and depression. I've been putting off tackling these issues, particularly the social anxiety, for years because I was just too scared to talk to anyone who might be able to help me. Before this year I hadn't even been to a doctor since the age of 14. However, having hit complete meltdown stage I've now taken the plunge and have my first appointment in about two and a half weeks. I'm absolutely fricking terrified! But I would love it if I could actually tackle this problem once and for all because it's been eating away at my life for years. When you feel ready, I hope you can find the courage to book your psychologist appointment as well. The way I'm trying to look at it is that although I'm scared witless, I really have nothing to lose from trying it and potentially everything to gain, as even the slightest improvement of my social anxiety would feel pretty life changing for me. Maybe you can apply that logic to your situation too.
Every night i have the same fear... why is this pore swollen? Why is this area painful/itching? Is this area really a little higher than the rest of my skin or i am seeing things again? Tomorrow i am going to wake up with another painful ugly thing..
Now it's the last one, i don't really remember if that area was like this or tomorrow i am going to have something nodular.. many people are going to see me.. it's not painful or itching or red.. but tomorrow it could be. Just when i start to think that it could be over.. I am afraid. Or insane.
Thanks Lilly. I'm trying to remind myself of the improvements but unfortunately, as seems to happen every time I post something positive about my skin, I'm now breaking out again!
I'm sorry to hear you're having such issues with anxiety. My GP recently referred me for CBT for social anxiety and depression. I've been putting off tackling these issues, particularly the social anxiety, for years because I was just too scared to talk to anyone who might be able to help me. Before this year I hadn't even been to a doctor since the age of 14. However, having hit complete meltdown stage I've now taken the plunge and have my first appointment in about two and a half weeks. I'm absolutely fricking terrified! But I would love it if I could actually tackle this problem once and for all because it's been eating away at my life for years. When you feel ready, I hope you can find the courage to book your psychologist appointment as well. The way I'm trying to look at it is that although I'm scared witless, I really have nothing to lose from trying it and potentially everything to gain, as even the slightest improvement of my social anxiety would feel pretty life changing for me. Maybe you can apply that logic to your situation too.
Yeah I know what you mean - seems to happen to me whenever I post something positive about my skin too 
And thank you Sorry you've been dealing with similar things but it's nice in a way to know I'm not the only one (even though I wish no one had to deal with feeling like this).
I really hope your appointment goes well and helps you in someway! Hopefully I do find that courage to go book the appointment. It's hard though because I can't talk about myself or how I'm feeling when it's bad like that / face to face with someone without getting really emotional or teary for some reason. I'd hate to walk in and end up in tears hah - and I don't talk to anyone in 'real life' about things like that (like I often do / have done here in the past) so I don't know how I'd be able to open up to a stranger face-to-face...
But you're right - nothing to lose, everything to gain. I'll remember that.
Good luck with the appointment!
Every night i have the same fear... why is this pore swollen? Why is this area painful/itching? Is this area really a little higher than the rest of my skin or i am seeing things again? Tomorrow i am going to wake up with another painful ugly thing..
Now it's the last one, i don't really remember if that area was like this or tomorrow i am going to have something nodular.. many people are going to see me.. it's not painful or itching or red.. but tomorrow it could be. Just when i start to think that it could be over.. I am afraid. Or insane.
I know it's freaking hard, but try not to be obsessed in that way, it's really unhealthy and you're only making it worse. I strongly believe that acne is aggravated by negative thoughts and emotions, so you're not doing yourself a favor by trembling over every painful spot. By panicking you won't be able to change the fact that a new pimple is growing, but by being calm and relaxed you could help it to shrink down. It sounds crazy, but it happened to me dozen of times. I came back from Brazil a week ago and there I didn't have a single tiny pimple over the whole time and growing cysts shrank down. I had my pms and ate a lot of different foods, so the only way I can explain the absence of acne is - positive emotions kept my hormones in tact. That's my tactics from now on (plus acne meds, ofc )
Just give yourself a break for some time. You can't change anything by crying and worrying - it will only make it worse, but maybe it will help if you'll be calm and positive? Your body is not able to improve when you're constantly making your body release stress hormones - they suppress your immune system, produce acne, increase blood pressure and sugar...
Yeah I know what you mean - seems to happen to me whenever I post something positive about my skin too
And thank you
Sorry you've been dealing with similar things but it's nice in a way to know I'm not the only one (even though I wish no one had to deal with feeling like this).
I really hope your appointment goes well and helps you in someway! Hopefully I do find that courage to go book the appointment. It's hard though because I can't talk about myself or how I'm feeling when it's bad like that / face to face with someone without getting really emotional or teary for some reason. I'd hate to walk in and end up in tears hah - and I don't talk to anyone in 'real life' about things like that (like I often do / have done here in the past) so I don't know how I'd be able to open up to a stranger face-to-face...
But you're right - nothing to lose, everything to gain. I'll remember that.
Good luck with the appointment!
I really don't do talking to people about my problems in real life either and I'm practically incapable of talking to strangers about even the most mundane things so how I'm going to open up to someone I've never met before about my innermost feelings I really don't know. Another thing I try to remind myself is that counsellors/therapists/psychologists etc. have a wealth of professional experience and will definitely have dealt with people with severe anxiety issues before and hopefully know the best way to coax us out of our shells. I know what you mean about getting emotional and teary though because that's what happened the last time I saw my doctor and it was really embarrassing. Generally I'm just more worried about getting in there and being in such a panicky state that I can't even articulate my sentences properly! Hopefully it won't be too traumatic but I'm glad I still have a couple of weeks to go. Thanks for the luck.
Yeah I know what you mean - seems to happen to me whenever I post something positive about my skin too
And thank you
I really hope your appointment goes well and helps you in someway! Hopefully I do find that courage to go book the appointment. It's hard though because I can't talk about myself or how I'm feeling when it's bad like that / face to face with someone without getting really emotional or teary for some reason. I'd hate to walk in and end up in tears hah - and I don't talk to anyone in 'real life' about things like that (like I often do / have done here in the past) so I don't know how I'd be able to open up to a stranger face-to-face...
But you're right - nothing to lose, everything to gain. I'll remember that.
Good luck with the appointment!
I really don't do talking to people about my problems in real life either and I'm practically incapable of talking to strangers about even the most mundane things so how I'm going to open up to someone I've never met before about my innermost feelings I really don't know. Another thing I try to remind myself is that counsellors/therapists/psychologists etc. have a wealth of professional experience and will definitely have dealt with people with severe anxiety issues before and hopefully know the best way to coax us out of our shells. I know what you mean about getting emotional and teary though because that's what happened the last time I saw my doctor and it was really embarrassing. Generally I'm just more worried about getting in there and being in such a panicky state that I can't even articulate my sentences properly! Hopefully it won't be too traumatic but I'm glad I still have a couple of weeks to go. Thanks for the luck.
Honestly sounds exactly like how I would be. I was fighting back tears in my doctors appointment the other day - that was embarrassing enough.
But I'm sure they're used to it - especially psychologists and they're trained in helping people with this sort of thing - so I guess it's not something to worry much about.
If you can, let me know how it goes
I'm feeling very very sad right now. Crying every morning and every evening. I had acne a while back when I was
like 13 or 13 and everyone was making fun of me. Kids can be cruel I know. But back then I was confident and
I didn't care about my appearance at all I was just a happy person. But the teasing was so bad that even younger
kids were making fun of me. I heard: "Have you ever tried clearasil?" or "Sams". It was horrible and I went
to a different place when we had a break in school cause I was so sad about these things. But then it got even worse
my own dad told me: we have to work on your forehead. I remember what he said when we were playing badminton.
My two uncles were making fun of me, too. How did you get so many zits? I was living in my own world. I haven't had
many friends. A lot of sad moments but at least I got the internet to talk with people about my problems and
I was very interested in Webdesign at that point. When I went to highschool my acne has cleared after I used
every single product on the market. And I found out that none of those products does really help. It costs you
a lot of money and it's better to buy some stuff like zinc cream or benzol peroxide if you have very oily skin.
Okay after that my life was okay I felt a little more confident but not like my old self. I was using a lot of
creams to prevent breakouts. And the only thing I always said to myself was: I won't get acne again. I can'T take that
no more in life. I wish I would have stopped here with my life cause it was nearly a fairytale. Acne gone and my life
almost back.
In 2009 I got a little zit on my nose. I thought it was a zit and I went to a doctor here in our stupid town
and I talked to him that I want to remove it. He wanted to cut it out and promised me that the scar would be
less visible than the zit. I said: can we laser it? No, that would leave a bigger scar. Haha!
I got it cut out and it left a horrible scar. Like those monsters in the horror movie very very ugly.
And the funny thing is that the zit came back but at a different place. I got it lasered and it left no new scar.
So it was makable to remove those thing without any stitches it was just 1mm. And I wish I had nothing done to it.
The stupid thing is I trust the doctors. I thought he can do those things but my know-how was better and I wish
I would more hear to myself. Ok, and then I got thousand of procedures on my nose trying to get rid of that scar.
None did really help. At least I got a very good doctor in M¼nster. She made it less visible with ice. It looked better!
And I'm so glad that she helped me. After that I got it lasered again and it left an orange peel look on my nose. But the
doc denies it. At least he got his 250 ‚s for ruining my life 
I got a red mark on my forehead. Not very visible for others but for me. I got it lasered, too. But I was so stupid and
I pulled of the skin after the treatment. Now theres a tiny hole. When I look into the mirror I just see those things.
And I know people are so mean and talk shit about you so I don'T want to give them something to talk about. All my life
I've heard how ugly I was and now I'm feeling very very bad. Even my parents don't understand me which is the most
horrible thing for me. My dad told me back then that my skin was bad and now he denies it. And he'S a strong christian. Haha
And he didn't even apologize for that. I got one wrinkle between my eye brows and that thing has always bothered me a lot
cause noone in my age does have that kind of wrinkle. I mean on my cheeks my skin looks good but my forehead looks like I've had
bad bad acne. It's funny when people now say that my skin looks good but I can't believe those liars.
However, this year I heard about a private doctor how does house visits and I wanted to loose my wrinkle. He did it with silicone
1000. A permanent filler. I was just going there to remove my little forehead dent but he saw my wrinkle, too. The first time
ever one person saw a thing like I saw it. He injected it and it was looking great. But I got a bruise right there right now.
I'm a long time healer and I don't know if its normal cause othere people say the bruise lasts for 4 days. And mine is still there
and light blue/ purple. I can't sleep because of that and sometimes I think about suicide. Cause I know some people will see it
like I do. Does anyone know how long a bruise can last? Hopefully it does fade away. The doc said to me that I see it different than
others. They can't see their own bruise but I see it worse than it is. But it is THERE. And I saw a little bump on my forehead two days ago
don't know if it's a normal zit. But it's on a different position than the bruise. A lot more above and on one side of the forehead. Please
guys pray for me that it does go away.
What I want you to know is...
If you go through hell and you go back to heaven. Please stay there and don't expect to much. Cause I went back to hell and this time I have the feeling
that it would stay this way. When my acne cleared I was happy but you get to obsessed with your look which is a bad bad thing. But I have had the feeling that
I could controll my skin a little bit more than in my teens.
I just hope my bruise does fade away and those other things doesn'T bother me anymore. Cause I don'T want to do more procedueres cause I hate the healing phase
and if the result is bad it was not worth all the pain emotionally.
What I don't understand is that people are lying to me today. They do not understand why I am so obsessed with my skin / acne. I told them the
story with the childhood teasing and all my mum said was: you didn't talk to me back than about it. YES, TRUE. But I was to scarred to tell my
mom that I was going through hell in school. I was ashamed of MYSELF. I know that's stupid but thats how I felt.
I can't believe my mum and dad anymore when it comes to my look. If people teased me then they don'T deserve my trust anymore.
The same with the people who bullied my as a child. One of them was bringing a pizza to our home when I was in high school and he
was acting so nice and my mum said: why dont you talk to him, he's so nice. I wish my mother would've known the background.
I can't trust my own family and all I can do right now is pray and hope that we all can have normal skin. We don't need perfect skin
but we should be able to look into the mirror without crying!!!!!!!!!!! And please don't compare yourself to others. When I see my brothers skin
I feel like trash. My mom told me he got zits, too. Yes, 1 or 2. My face was full of it and I got scars to prove it. HE DOESN'T. And she said
I'm responsable myself for it cause I used to many products. I think my family doesn'T care about my feelings. My skin is the only thing
that has improved and it went back to a horrible look. -.-
And she always said that its sad that i lost all my contacts and stuff and just spendet my time on the pc. I'm so glad that I've had these
hobbies back then cause what would have happend when I was doing things with my friends?
This year I learned the same lesson I've learned a few years ago. The only person who must go through it is yourself. Nobody does help you!
I could go to a psychologist but I can't do it this time. I think I need to have clear skin to live my life again. The only positive thing this year
is that I ended my apprenticeship successfully. I wasn't learning and often ignored school things but I knew in my heart that I'm intelligent and
can get it. And I got it. Ha! Mum was proud cause she thought I wasn't bringing this to an end. But she was wrong. And after that I was looking
for a job and couldn'T find one. And now she's still saying: get a job, get a job... like that's the only thing that matters. And I can'T live my life
cause I always are about what my mum thinks. It's horrible. I'm totally in her hands and I'm 25. Now I don't know if I should go away and live alone or not-
She sais that I'm a spoiled child and I can't handle money... But I know I can. But I don't know if I can do my own stuff AT THE MOMENT. Cause I have this bruise
and I'm in a deep whole. But at home it just gets badder. They always give me money, gave me a new car, bla bla bla. And they say I'm not THANKFUL! But I am
but when we go shopping and I say I want nothing she says: nothing is GOOD ENOUGH. And the truth is why should I spent money on crap if I just want a NORMAL face?
Every night i have the same fear... why is this pore swollen? Why is this area painful/itching? Is this area really a little higher than the rest of my skin or i am seeing things again? Tomorrow i am going to wake up with another painful ugly thing..
Now it's the last one, i don't really remember if that area was like this or tomorrow i am going to have something nodular.. many people are going to see me.. it's not painful or itching or red.. but tomorrow it could be. Just when i start to think that it could be over.. I am afraid. Or insane.
I know it's freaking hard, but try not to be obsessed in that way, it's really unhealthy and you're only making it worse. I strongly believe that acne is aggravated by negative thoughts and emotions, so you're not doing yourself a favor by trembling over every painful spot. By panicking you won't be able to change the fact that a new pimple is growing, but by being calm and relaxed you could help it to shrink down. It sounds crazy, but it happened to me dozen of times. I came back from Brazil a week ago and there I didn't have a single tiny pimple over the whole time and growing cysts shrank down. I had my pms and ate a lot of different foods, so the only way I can explain the absence of acne is - positive emotions kept my hormones in tact. That's my tactics from now on (plus acne meds, ofc
)
Just give yourself a break for some time. You can't change anything by crying and worrying - it will only make it worse, but maybe it will help if you'll be calm and positive? Your body is not able to improve when you're constantly making your body release stress hormones - they suppress your immune system, produce acne, increase blood pressure and sugar...
You are right i also believe that stress makes it worse. I try to be positive, keep my mind busy and think that it's my imagination or that one more won't make that difference but then i think that every new one is a sign that spiro isn't working and that's when i feel hopeless. I am glad you were fine in Brazil!
Every night i have the same fear... why is this pore swollen? Why is this area painful/itching? Is this area really a little higher than the rest of my skin or i am seeing things again? Tomorrow i am going to wake up with another painful ugly thing..
Now it's the last one, i don't really remember if that area was like this or tomorrow i am going to have something nodular.. many people are going to see me.. it's not painful or itching or red.. but tomorrow it could be. Just when i start to think that it could be over.. I am afraid. Or insane.
I know it's freaking hard, but try not to be obsessed in that way, it's really unhealthy and you're only making it worse. I strongly believe that acne is aggravated by negative thoughts and emotions, so you're not doing yourself a favor by trembling over every painful spot. By panicking you won't be able to change the fact that a new pimple is growing, but by being calm and relaxed you could help it to shrink down. It sounds crazy, but it happened to me dozen of times. I came back from Brazil a week ago and there I didn't have a single tiny pimple over the whole time and growing cysts shrank down. I had my pms and ate a lot of different foods, so the only way I can explain the absence of acne is - positive emotions kept my hormones in tact. That's my tactics from now on (plus acne meds, ofc
Just give yourself a break for some time. You can't change anything by crying and worrying - it will only make it worse, but maybe it will help if you'll be calm and positive? Your body is not able to improve when you're constantly making your body release stress hormones - they suppress your immune system, produce acne, increase blood pressure and sugar...
You are right i also believe that stress makes it worse. I try to be positive, keep my mind busy and think that it's my imagination or that one more won't make that difference but then i think that every new one is a sign that spiro isn't working and that's when i feel hopeless. I am glad you were fine in Brazil!
I read that after some time Spiro can start acting as an androgen, instead of blocking them, and it needs a certain amount of estrogen to start working again. Has your doctor mentioned something like that? Which bcp are you on right now?
Every night i have the same fear... why is this pore swollen? Why is this area painful/itching? Is this area really a little higher than the rest of my skin or i am seeing things again? Tomorrow i am going to wake up with another painful ugly thing..
Now it's the last one, i don't really remember if that area was like this or tomorrow i am going to have something nodular.. many people are going to see me.. it's not painful or itching or red.. but tomorrow it could be. Just when i start to think that it could be over.. I am afraid. Or insane.
I know it's freaking hard, but try not to be obsessed in that way, it's really unhealthy and you're only making it worse. I strongly believe that acne is aggravated by negative thoughts and emotions, so you're not doing yourself a favor by trembling over every painful spot. By panicking you won't be able to change the fact that a new pimple is growing, but by being calm and relaxed you could help it to shrink down. It sounds crazy, but it happened to me dozen of times. I came back from Brazil a week ago and there I didn't have a single tiny pimple over the whole time and growing cysts shrank down. I had my pms and ate a lot of different foods, so the only way I can explain the absence of acne is - positive emotions kept my hormones in tact. That's my tactics from now on (plus acne meds, ofc
Just give yourself a break for some time. You can't change anything by crying and worrying - it will only make it worse, but maybe it will help if you'll be calm and positive? Your body is not able to improve when you're constantly making your body release stress hormones - they suppress your immune system, produce acne, increase blood pressure and sugar...
You are right i also believe that stress makes it worse. I try to be positive, keep my mind busy and think that it's my imagination or that one more won't make that difference but then i think that every new one is a sign that spiro isn't working and that's when i feel hopeless. I am glad you were fine in Brazil!
I read that after some time Spiro can start acting as an androgen, instead of blocking them, and it needs a certain amount of estrogen to start working again. Has your doctor mentioned something like that? Which bcp are you on right now?
I was off spiro for 3-4 months, not that i had any problem, just a coinsidence and i ran out but didn't break out so i thought that i grew out of acne.. but obviously i didn't. I tried to avoid taking it again but no diet helped. In fact i lost much weight and when i took the same dosage as before it was too much. Now i am on half that dose and i think it's getting better (fingers crossed). I don't use bcp because i have migraines and family history of blood clots so spiro is my safest option.. that's why i am afraid of breakouts, if spiro doesn't work i will have to stop using hormonal treatment -the only effective- or use something life-threatening.. the gyn. didn't exclude this as an option but i would prefer not push my luck.
One of my patients randomly complimented my skin today - it made me wonder if she still had all her marbles...
I'm feeling down about my skin. Sometimes, with a lot of make up it does look quite nice and glowy, but other times it is flaky and the makeup looks horrible and I can't predict when it will happen (I use chemical exfoliation every day...) I'm also very down about my red marks. I thought they were fading... They have faded a lot but I'm not seeing improvement any more. I don't want to get stuck like this
I feel like a bad person for being upset about this. I'm lucky I don't still have severe acne, I should be grateful that I don't have acne at all! Or something worse... I am very grateful, and I have it in perspective I think but it still upsets me.
I really appreciate this thread, it helps.