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I feel very down today. It looks like 2 of my acnes will turn into scars + that I read here about people that have bad things to say about derma rolling (something I have recently started to do). Life is very hard at the moment.
dnt worry dear.theer's LOADS of people who have seen great results with dermarolling.i mean LOADS here.
so dnt just go for the posts which reports no results.
good luck mate.
I feel very down today. It looks like 2 of my acnes will turn into scars + that I read here about people that have bad things to say about derma rolling (something I have recently started to do). Life is very hard at the moment.
dnt worry dear.theer's LOADS of people who have seen great results with dermarolling.i mean LOADS here.
so dnt just go for the posts which reports no results.
good luck mate.
Thank you so much for the kind words 
Not feeling the greatest. The zit next to my nose is now all crusty and dry, presumably because I picked at it last night and damaged the skin, so I guess it'll like scab over or something. The bump is still there, and it still hurts when I press down. I don't think it really went down in size....so frustrating. I wish I could just lance it with a needle and pop all the gunk out of it. It's so tempting when a zit is as painful as this one. I tried icing it a few hours ago but I honestly don't know if it did much. Uuuugh, god it is so annoying....I really hope I don't have to go to a derm for a cortisone shot, because I've never had to do that before.
Maybe by tomorrow it'll feel a little better...it honestly doesn't look that bad though. It's just red, but it's not hideous or anything. And the rest of my skin is clear, so I'm thankful for that.
Woke up and one of my whiteheads has turned into a 3-headed beast! Haven't had one of those for a while...yuck.
Really need to find something that works. I'm 20, I just finished college and need to feel like a confident adult...
oh!i so understand that that tiny bump or whitehead turning into a big monster overnight!
i dread that.am sure everyone does.
that is one reason i get worried about tiny ones also,for u never know when they come up to u as a big armed enemy!
i am suppose to be going out tomorrow.not for a date or anything.
but there's a chance that i meet(just see that is!) the guy i have a crush on.and i admit i am freaking a lil'.
more so cause its been a few days since i had these small(not tiny) bumps (with and without heads) on my cheek and forehead and also on places i was clear before for sometime.
phew!
i never show sign of frustration and /or lack of confidence or bad mood outside though!
its all in my house!
There's no need to freak out dee . You're the bengal tigress! hehe Maul him !
>Feeling like shit today. My chin is a disaster.
Perseverance92, your idea sounds good to me: let's move together into a farm with sheeps and dolfins that will not judge us.
Good idea mate haha! I'd prefer an adorable Labrador Those little Labrador pups ...they never judge you
thanks darling!
*hugs*
i am sure if i had a brother,he'd say the same!
Right now, even those adorable little Labrador pups would be affraid of my chin.
They would see me, then vomit, then feel sick and dizzy, and finally pass out. Poor things.
Oh yeh? and what about those hideous big bumps on my cheekbones? The pups would probably throw up and have seizures looking at them.
So, GUNNKE, let's move with us into our farm!
We will make puppies vomit and cry. It will be funny, you'll see.
Ye'h
So, GUNNKE, let's move with us into our farm!
We will make puppies vomit and cry. It will be funny, you'll see.
lol don't be a sadist!
My cheekbones... They are so gullible! My cheeks seem to be immune of acne! (touch wood).But my cheekbones always get appalling acne.They get big swollen red bumps which soon become cystic and then they scar. I HATE IT.
i just wish that i could peel off the first layer of skin on my face which would then unveil a new layer of soft, supple, blemish-free, normal skin that i have been longing for many years now.
I Just got a breakout of like 10 pimples on my face. I was feeling good about myself before this happened since my skin seemed to be healing from previous breakouts but now i know these new breakouts and the marks that come along with it will take a long time to heal SIGH...
To be honest. I feel like wanting to kill myself, but i cant do it. It just makes me so angry and i wish that one day pimples would never come to my face again. It angers me so much 
Why does acne have to exist? Why did it have to choose me and all of the other fellow sufferers who are going through the same pain as me? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY 
I'm falling into a downwards spiral... My acne is not improving dramatically, but it's not terrible at the moment. The thing is that I'm gradually becoming more and more depressed.. Is it Diane or Androcur cause it, I don't know...
Two days ago something got into me and I overdosed some Atarax pills. I read it causes severe drowsiness and all I wanted to do was sleep for a long long time. So I took about 15 pills at once and went to bed. Woke up short of breath and needed an ambulance in the middle of the night. It was terrifying, I thought I'll suffocate and die.
Today I'm feeling as low as ever. I know i need to end taking the pills but I wanted to at least get some results from it...
That's really scary. Can you stop taking the BC pills? They always made me worse, both with acne and with depression.
Know how you feel - I have the same thoughts about the right side of my neck, it is disgusting.
The right side must be evil. My pimples seem to love the right side. I look like double-face. Or Janus.
I overdosed some Atarax pills
That sounds so sad. You're not alone to feel like crap. Let's go to the farm, we'll play piano with puppies singing.
I'm falling into a downwards spiral... My acne is not improving dramatically, but it's not terrible at the moment. The thing is that I'm gradually becoming more and more depressed.. Is it Diane or Androcur cause it, I don't know...
Two days ago something got into me and I overdosed some Atarax pills. I read it causes severe drowsiness and all I wanted to do was sleep for a long long time. So I took about 15 pills at once and went to bed. Woke up short of breath and needed an ambulance in the middle of the night. It was terrifying, I thought I'll suffocate and die.
Today I'm feeling as low as ever. I know i need to end taking the pills but I wanted to at least get some results from it...
That's really scary.
Can you stop taking the BC pills? They always made me worse, both with acne and with depression.
It finally seems to show some results on my acne. Very slight, but noticeable for me. But the depression is getting the best of me... I have mindlessly stared at a tv screen today from 10 o'clock until now (almost 17) and cried until my eyes got dry. For no particular reason. And my mouth is still dry, head still hurting after the Atarax overdose, how stupid... We had some really nice atmosphere with my bf few days ago, now he's cold and shocked over how sudden my mood took a turn.
I guess bcp itself wasn't the cause this time, because i didn't have such side effects during the first 3 months, but this time I added Androcur which represses androgens and can easily cause severe depression. I guess that's what has happened...
So, GUNNKE, let's move with us into our farm!
We will make puppies vomit and cry. It will be funny, you'll see.
The way I`m going right now Mandarine, I will definitely be moving into a farm if this carries on - but not the sort with animals.
Still really depressed with my skin. I have broken out all over the right side of my neck, jawline and sideburn area and it appears to be spreading to the left side as well now. Even noticed a couple of spots behind my ears - how did that happen?
I really do not know what to do about CBT. The theory behind CBT is to do things to challenge the negative thoughts and perceptions about yourself. I have tried to follow to the letter exercises and tasks that I have agreed with my therapist. I have cut down looking in the mirror to 2-3 times max per day and I have also deliberately been putting myself into social situations where my blemishes and perceived imperfections are on display in order that I can gauge the reaction of others.
The experiments have been going really well. I do know that people are really not that concerned or do not notice your perceived acne/flaws. Also avoiding the mirror does help you not to obsess or focus as much on your appearance.
The problem is that unfortunately for me, I still have a tendency to breakout now and again and when this happens, no amount of positive thinking can break the downward cycle that I descend into where I just think that I am a vile, repulsive monster.
Last night I had a complete meltdown - it just feels that I am never ever just going to have what I consider relatively normal skin and if I`m honest, if this is how it is going to be forever more, I don`t think I can take it any longer. The alternative is to just hide away and become a recluse but I`ve been there and done that and it is no way to live.
I'm falling into a downwards spiral... My acne is not improving dramatically, but it's not terrible at the moment. The thing is that I'm gradually becoming more and more depressed.. Is it Diane or Androcur cause it, I don't know...
Two days ago something got into me and I overdosed some Atarax pills. I read it causes severe drowsiness and all I wanted to do was sleep for a long long time. So I took about 15 pills at once and went to bed. Woke up short of breath and needed an ambulance in the middle of the night. It was terrifying, I thought I'll suffocate and die.
Today I'm feeling as low as ever. I know i need to end taking the pills but I wanted to at least get some results from it...
That's really scary.
It finally seems to show some results on my acne. Very slight, but noticeable for me. But the depression is getting the best of me... I have mindlessly stared at a tv screen today from 10 o'clock until now (almost 17) and cried until my eyes got dry. For no particular reason. And my mouth is still dry, head still hurting after the Atarax overdose, how stupid... We had some really nice atmosphere with my bf few days ago, now he's cold and shocked over how sudden my mood took a turn.
I guess bcp itself wasn't the cause this time, because i didn't have such side effects during the first 3 months, but this time I added Androcur which represses androgens and can easily cause severe depression. I guess that's what has happened...
I feel that I am also descending into a depression - I am not at work today and I have just sat at home all day today not able to read, watch TV or do anything, everything seems pointless right now. I do know that no matter how crap I feel, I`m going to have to do something tomorrow to break this cycle otherwise I am just going to descend deeper and deeper. Luckily (or not) for me my parents are visiting from the North of England (Lincolnshire) tomorrow so maybe it might just be the impetus I need to sort myself out - we`ll see.
I hope things sort out for you soon Pianina - if it means dropping Diane or Androcur for the time being then so be it.In the great scheme of things, depression is a more serious and debillitating condition than acne.
I saw myself on video today, and I'm completely clear, but... I look so awkward and ugly. I feel like no one could ever find me physically attractive. I never thought I was unattractive when I talked and moved and laughed. But, I am... My front teeth are different lengths, my eyes get all squinty, my smile is too big, and my face stretches weirdly when I talk/smile :*(
I got a 36 on my MCAT though!!! And I thought I did awfully! A 36 with my GPA and extensive shadowing, volunteering, and campus involvement (I didn't do it for the resume, though. I've filled my life with my passions, and hopefully, it will show...) is good enough to get an interview in any medical school in the country!
I have those same kind of body dysmorphia thoughts when I see myself. I think I'm pretty if I'm posed JUST right...but if I see myself on video where I talk or move around I'm just like ugh...wtf is wrong with me. I am not a human being...
This is going in a documentary... It makes me wanna cry. Especially because there's this guy who I like who is in charge of the camera...It's horrifying to think that this is the way I look. My mother is pretty, my dad is handsome, all my aunts and uncles are good looking. My cousins are gorgeous. Why me?!
I saw myself on video today, and I'm completely clear, but... I look so awkward and ugly. I feel like no one could ever find me physically attractive. I never thought I was unattractive when I talked and moved and laughed. But, I am... My front teeth are different lengths, my eyes get all squinty, my smile is too big, and my face stretches weirdly when I talk/smile :*(
I got a 36 on my MCAT though!!! And I thought I did awfully! A 36 with my GPA and extensive shadowing, volunteering, and campus involvement (I didn't do it for the resume, though. I've filled my life with my passions, and hopefully, it will show...) is good enough to get an interview in any medical school in the country!
story of my life. i remember the first time i saw myself on video, I felt like I was seeing a creature from another planet. I can't compare myself to other human beings because I feel so inferior and when people treat me nicely I am reluctant to accept their kindness and I feel like they have ulterior motives. I don't know what my point is but your post struck a nerve. At least you are smart you have that going for you.
I have those same kind of body dysmorphia thoughts when I see myself. I think I'm pretty if I'm posed JUST right...but if I see myself on video where I talk or move around I'm just like ugh...wtf is wrong with me. I am not a human being...
u have something that millions can not have.
u get that?
u r gorgeous to me.
i already like u.=)
cheers!and best of luck for ur interview!
I can take anything and everything.From the most callous comments to disgustingly snide remarks.I am tough from within.I can even tolerate the indifference of my best buddies.But i get shattered when my own parents behave indifferently towards my acne and my problems in general.I am their ownly son and hence the center of all their attention.Despite that they sometimes break me apart with their shockingly apathetic behavior.
Today my mother casually said "You never clean your face these days.That's why you get acne.I erupted right there and then.I shouted at her and told her that i'm very particular about my hygiene and it's just that any face wash i apply on my face breaks me out because of my sensitive skin.What she said next was a shocker.She asked me to clean my face with an ordinary soap! ... DISGUSTING. WHEN PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ACNE WHY DO THEY ADVISE? And she's a Gynecologist.
My father ... I told him about how my acne is getting worse.He said "Empty mind is a devil's workshop". SHOCKING. He said "You'll have acne till your hormones are over active.Live peacefully or make your life hell. Your choice".
And he's a neurologist.
They've treated almost half of my city and made lives better.But when it comes to their own son,their own blood...INDIFFERENCE.DISINTEREST.I FEEL LIKE CRYING AND BANGING MY HEAD ON A WALL UNTIL I BLEED TO DEATH.Perhaps then they will realize how wrong they were.PERHAPS AFTER THEY CARRY THE CINERARY URN,THEY'D REDEEM! THEY'D WALK ON THE ROAD TO ATONEMENT...
darling let me know if u need a ear!
alright and just get the fact that what they r saying is what most people say.
its got nothing to do with their professions,so dont bring that in.
i think 'most' parents react same way except for those who are really aware of acne and the aspects or is a nutritionist or a good derma.
so dnt fret over it.
get hopping!
I have those same kind of body dysmorphia thoughts when I see myself. I think I'm pretty if I'm posed JUST right...but if I see myself on video where I talk or move around I'm just like ugh...wtf is wrong with me. I am not a human being...
And i used to visit your profile to have a look at your pic so many times...And believe me "they" say when it comes to girls my taste is "Elite". I'm a connoisseur of girls . (haha self praising )
I talked to a friend on facebook, looked at some photos of myself without glasses (glasses just make most people look awkward. they're always slipping on your nose and you have to push them up. And they cover up my dark eyes and my high cheekbones) and looked at my fairly clear skin (it's sooo the doxycycline). I thought about all the wonderful things in my life-- all the friends, my wonderful family, the opportunities and bright future that I have helping others. I have so many bright, fresh ideas that will make life better for so many people. I have nothing to complain about. Plus, everyone looks weird on video right? Unless you've just got a face that looks great in 2-d. I'm pretty awesome; you guys are right. And I will feel try to feel that way. Thanks so much for the support, y'all! I really hope anyone else that is feeling bad is able to think about their life in a way where the positives allow you to see past the negatives.
I have those same kind of body dysmorphia thoughts when I see myself. I think I'm pretty if I'm posed JUST right...but if I see myself on video where I talk or move around I'm just like ugh...wtf is wrong with me. I am not a human being...
I was looking it up, and apparently that is not how you look in real life. 3-d doesn't translate particularly well to 2-d, so video camera isn't the most accurate way to judge your appearances. Also, when I think about it, my judgement of a person's physical appearance changes as I learn more about their personality. For someone who sees you frequently, and likes your personality, you could be very pretty. There's this girl I knew who had the most awkward face ever, the first time I saw her. Really weird teeth and all. But she's gorgeous now, because her personality was really great and because her beauty just sort of grows on you after a while.
You are a human being! Try to turn those thoughts positive. People like happiness and positivity. It's charming. Charm often goes farther than grace or good looks.
Yeah I am happy and positive, I just sometimes wish I could be more...I dunno, smooth? lol... I'm a talented writer, but if you guys could see me in real life I'd seem like such a spacey, stoner valley girl lol... I'm from California and I just have this blah, ditzy sounding voice...I feel like I could say all the same things but if I had a British accent I'd sound so cool. I talk really fast and kinda mumbly and use my hands a lot, it just doesn't come across well. But what can you do, I guess.
I saw myself on video today, and I'm completely clear, but... I look so awkward and ugly. I feel like no one could ever find me physically attractive. I never thought I was unattractive when I talked and moved and laughed. But, I am... My front teeth are different lengths, my eyes get all squinty, my smile is too big, and my face stretches weirdly when I talk/smile :*(
I got a 36 on my MCAT though!!! And I thought I did awfully! A 36 with my GPA and extensive shadowing, volunteering, and campus involvement (I didn't do it for the resume, though. I've filled my life with my passions, and hopefully, it will show...) is good enough to get an interview in any medical school in the country!
I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I have the same thoughts about myself. I can't stand to see myself on video or in pictures I didn't angle just right. Trust me, no one perceives you like you do yourself. You are beautiful.
Apparently June is acne awareness month... I had no idea such a thing existed! I don't know anything about it - just heard it mentioned in a youtube video I was watching this morning.
I agree with what you're all saying about being in videos or having your photo taken. I've avoided that so much in my life, especially in high school. I do still try and avoid it now but I also try to care less about, so that I do have photos or videos to look back on and remember the event or whatever the photo / video is taken for. Doesn't mean I like the photo or video of me though. I prefer to be the one taking the photos, being behind the camera, anyway...
The last few days have been good for me though. I've been feeling a little more confident. It probably sounds like nothing to you but it all counts as 'progress' in a way to me. Taking baby steps 
Since December, when I cut my hair short, I've been wearing my hair down so it hides my face (and skin) - or at least so it casts a bit of shadow on my face which lessens the appearance of my acne. So the other day when I was out shopping, and in situations where I had to talk to the salespeople face to face, I wore my hair up and less foundation (not that I wear a tonne normally). So most acne and scarring was fairly visible. And would definitely have been visible face to face. Now that I write it out, I realise it does sound stupid haha but it really has been ages since I wore my hair up and have really 'shown' my face.
And last night, while my little brother is overseas (lucky thing), I went out to dinner with my parents at a Thai restaurant we love. Everything was SO delicious, including the cocktail I let myself have (and it was pretty too - with an orchid on the edge of the glass). Normally I avoid alcohol as I usually will breakout the next day from it - but I don't seem to have any new breakouts today which is great
So yeah, feeling alright lately. Still planning on starting the regimen next week.
I saw a video about the dermaroller and even though it looks terrifying and painful, I'm thinking about trying it. I've been following this girl http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLfpBAyfXl_2VTMigDlGonA for a couple years now and I've never seen her skin look so good as recently. She's been dermarolling and it looks like most of her acne scars are disappearing. And these were scars, not just hyperpigmentation.
I saw myself on video today, and I'm completely clear, but... I look so awkward and ugly. I feel like no one could ever find me physically attractive. I never thought I was unattractive when I talked and moved and laughed. But, I am... My front teeth are different lengths, my eyes get all squinty, my smile is too big, and my face stretches weirdly when I talk/smile :*(
I got a 36 on my MCAT though!!! And I thought I did awfully! A 36 with my GPA and extensive shadowing, volunteering, and campus involvement (I didn't do it for the resume, though. I've filled my life with my passions, and hopefully, it will show...) is good enough to get an interview in any medical school in the country!
With that MCAT score you can possibly apply to any medicine college! You have a really bright career girl .May you become a compassionate doctor someday! I wish you become a great dermatologist and do some groundbreaking research and smash 'em all pimples in their roots 
My good wishes.
I'm not gonna type anything negative here from this point on wards.You know talk positive and stuff... I'll type all ++++ stuff. So here's my first ++++ "Beautiful day! All clear! I love everything.I'm in love with my life!" . YO beautiful people out there.
Hugs.
I do know that no matter how crap I feel, I`m going to have to do something tomorrow to break this cycle otherwise I am just going to descend deeper and deeper. Luckily (or not) for me my parents are visiting from the North of England (Lincolnshire) tomorrow so maybe it might just be the impetus I need to sort myself out - we`ll see.
So, finally, how was this day? Visits from the North of England?
"Beautiful day! All clear! I love everything.I'm in love with my life!" . YO beautiful people out there.
This kind of life would be so boring.
I saw myself on video today, and I'm completely clear, but... I look so awkward and ugly. I feel like no one could ever find me physically attractive. I never thought I was unattractive when I talked and moved and laughed. But, I am... My front teeth are different lengths, my eyes get all squinty, my smile is too big, and my face stretches weirdly when I talk/smile :*(
Haha, did I wrote this post in the name of Skinnie and then forgot about it? 
Sounds exactly like my own thoughts about myself.
Whenever I see myself in a video I'm like - What. The. Fuck.
But remember, that you're way more attractive to other people than you think. Have you ever met a freakishly beautiful girl complaining that "her nose is so small and pointy" (or anything similar) and you just felt like you want to punch her because her nose is absolutely perfect and cute?