This is more of an update rather than how I feel...well some of it will be. I stopped using the BHA gel from Paula's Choice because it was just causing me to flake out like crazy - I think I'm just really sensitive to topicals and chemicals.

I don't have any actives on my face right now, woo? No. My skin just looks awful. It's red (not really red, but red), flaky, oily in some places and dry in others. Lately I just can't bare looking people in the face. I'm 20 tomorrow, I'm in the prime of my life and I feel so self-conscious about the way I look.

What I've noticed is that, in a morning when I cleanse and moisturise, I love how my skin looks. Because I've just applied moisturiser, you can barely see any flakes or healing acne. My skin looks how I wish it would look all of the time. Slowly but surely my skin starts to flake, develop whiteheads and turn pinkish in my problematic areas, that's when my head slowly begins to fall and I can no longer make eye contact with any of my friends. I'm starting to wonder if there's more to my acne, not diet, but something underlying. I've read that some people have dermodex mites which causes acne, maybe I do? I just don't understand why my acne is is persistent and why it's always inflamed pustules rather than the generic kind of acne...maybe my face is being eaten on, pooped on and whatever knows else'd on by these little mites.

I just don't know anymore. It's not my diet, it's not the products I use (I rarely react to anything unless highly medicated e.g. BP or SA) and I know for a fact it's not because I am dirty or touch my face. I actually have a phobia of myself or anybody else touching my skin, so that's not it. I literally have no idea anymore.

I guess that ended up more about my feelings than I initially planned...

I totally understand where you're coming from...liking what you see in the morning and then by mid-afternoon things just start to go downhill.

I know that my log for Paula's Choice made you want to start using it, and for a while, my skin was flaky and icky. But that was because of the BP that came with the CLEAR set. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. In the end, it didn't work out for me, either because I just don't want to be dependent on that expensive stuff.

The mites are a possibility, but I've heard that they make you constantly itchy and you can feel a tingling sensation on your skin all the time. But I don't know-- who knows, maybe we all have them? (That's freaky to think about).

I'm trying out the natural route now (again). It worked for me and I stopped using it because people were making fun of me for being "all natural" with my skincare routine/lifestyle and also because I thought that I HAD to be dependent on over-the-counter products. My skin is going back to normal, and I'm starting to breathe a sigh of relief. When I'm on this regimen, my skin feels "okay," not burnt or red or painful-- just healthy.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, it's hard. I feel lonely a lot about my skin, like it's a constant struggle that no one can relate to. And it sucks that we really all have "no idea."-- we can just do the best we can.

 

 

This is more of an update rather than how I feel...well some of it will be. I stopped using the BHA gel from Paula's Choice because it was just causing me to flake out like crazy - I think I'm just really sensitive to topicals and chemicals.

I don't have any actives on my face right now, woo? No. My skin just looks awful. It's red (not really red, but red), flaky, oily in some places and dry in others. Lately I just can't bare looking people in the face. I'm 20 tomorrow, I'm in the prime of my life and I feel so self-conscious about the way I look.

What I've noticed is that, in a morning when I cleanse and moisturise, I love how my skin looks. Because I've just applied moisturiser, you can barely see any flakes or healing acne. My skin looks how I wish it would look all of the time. Slowly but surely my skin starts to flake, develop whiteheads and turn pinkish in my problematic areas, that's when my head slowly begins to fall and I can no longer make eye contact with any of my friends. I'm starting to wonder if there's more to my acne, not diet, but something underlying. I've read that some people have dermodex mites which causes acne, maybe I do? I just don't understand why my acne is is persistent and why it's always inflamed pustules rather than the generic kind of acne...maybe my face is being eaten on, pooped on and whatever knows else'd on by these little mites.

I just don't know anymore. It's not my diet, it's not the products I use (I rarely react to anything unless highly medicated e.g. BP or SA) and I know for a fact it's not because I am dirty or touch my face. I actually have a phobia of myself or anybody else touching my skin, so that's not it. I literally have no idea anymore.

I guess that ended up more about my feelings than I initially planned...

I totally understand where you're coming from...liking what you see in the morning and then by mid-afternoon things just start to go downhill.

I know that my log for Paula's Choice made you want to start using it, and for a while, my skin was flaky and icky. But that was because of the BP that came with the CLEAR set. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. In the end, it didn't work out for me, either because I just don't want to be dependent on that expensive stuff.

The mites are a possibility, but I've heard that they make you constantly itchy and you can feel a tingling sensation on your skin all the time. But I don't know-- who knows, maybe we all have them? (That's freaky to think about).

I'm trying out the natural route now (again). It worked for me and I stopped using it because people were making fun of me for being "all natural" with my skincare routine/lifestyle and also because I thought that I HAD to be dependent on over-the-counter products. My skin is going back to normal, and I'm starting to breathe a sigh of relief. When I'm on this regimen, my skin feels "okay," not burnt or red or painful-- just healthy.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, it's hard. I feel lonely a lot about my skin, like it's a constant struggle that no one can relate to. And it sucks that we really all have "no idea."-- we can just do the best we can.

Thanks for the support, really need it! I'm definitely going to try get myself on a more natural regimen, I've always feel so much better when I've tried natural methods in the past.

I really believed Paula's Choice would work and I'm sure it does for many. My skin just doesn't like the BHA, nor does it like BP. I also put my faith in things too often without waiting to see results, only to be disappointed. The flakes would have probably subsided in the future, but that would mean using it long-term...which I wouldn't want.

Going to get myself some regular honey or manuka honey to cleanse with and jojoba oil to use as a moisturiser. I may treat with either lemon juice or tea trea oil.

Thanks again

been looking back on old pictures from a few years ago and i used to have flawless skin, like magazine perfect, oh how i took it for granted. so depressing knowing ill never ever get that back. how do people cope with aging? i cant even imagine being 50 years old and looking back on old pictures of myself. i have nightmares about that a lot and it feels like its happened to me already

 

For what it's worth, I've never EVER heard a girl mention a guys acne once in my life (outside of the internet, of course). There are a few guys at my school who have moderate to severe cystic acne and there are girls who talk about how cute they are. One of them even has a really pretty girlfriend.

On a positive note, two of my lady friends were talking about this guy with acne as bad as mine (severe) and they were talking about how he is so cute and all that good stuff. They didn't mention his acne even once. So I guess that there are people out there that look past the acne.

 

 

Feeling pretty done with life right now. Step one of my life right now is to fix my skin (which will probably never happen) and step two is to try and fix everything else that's wrong with me.

I feel the same way, I didn't leave the house in the past week because of my acne. My cheeks look very bad, same for my forehead !

I'm so sorry you've been feeling this way too. I know how hard it is. I hide from the world too, but I do it by piling makeup on my face. I feel like such a fraud. I hope things will look up soon for the both of us.

I've been feeling really down the past three days, my skin just keeps erupting in these stupid whiteheads that start out as under-the-skin red bumps that are sort of painful. I popped one this morning because it got so big while I was sleeping. I just felt really upset and did it, even though I've been trying not to pop.

I don't want to jinx it but besides my mouth/chin area, the rest of my skin is very clear and nice. So at least there's that. And it's not so bad, I'm just over-analyzing these dumb spots .. I wish I could get my mind off them. I go back to work tomorrow and I really hope this one on my chin will flatten out so I can at least cover it with makeup. It's hard being a cashier when you have acne.

But I decided last night to get back on accutane. I'm going to ask for a super low-dose like last time. I react really well to accutane and have almost no side effects besides cracked lips (which is my fault because I get lazy applying lip balm) .. and I'm just so tired of suffering here. I'm tired of it. I feel like less of a person. There's no point in being miserable. I thought I could find a natural way out of this but I don't know if I can wait anymore to see if these other methods work. I still have to wait a while before I can see my doc and get the meds so I guess I'll still have to wait .. in the meantime I'll continue to see how this vitamin D/zinc/calcium/vitamin c regimen works for me.

I've been thinking about ordering some of Dan's products again, just the BP to be exact. I attempted the DK regimine several years ago .. I think it helped somewhat, but my face was always red and I developed bad rocasea that took months to go away. But maybe I could use it as just a spot treatment. This 10% stuff I picked up at wal mart is way too harsh.

When I go caveman (not getting face wet) for a few days to a week, I don't get any new pimples but my red marks look worse. Is this supposed to pass after doing it for a couple weeks?

I was playing basketball in the backyard, and a ball fell on my back. I came inside and I saw so much blood it was kind of scary. I never bled so much, my whole back was red and it was dripping.

Sort of scared tbh. Sleeping usually hurts, but today it's gonna sting so much :/

Skin is 9/10

I had an intake of roughly 6129 calories.

Man I feel full I still need to drink my shake before bed that alone is 400 calories.

Hopefully I'll gain 10 pounds by the end of the month.

Is it just me but when I wake up my skin looks amazing ! But after an hour or so I start to feel down. Somehow I'm starting to accept my looks.

I don't feel pretty. Haven't updated my pictures on Facebook since last January, because I just don't feel like publishing the photoshoped ones - people are not fooled so easily and can tell the difference anyway. It's not like I'm totally addicted to Facebook or any other social media, but it's nice to see my friends sharing pictures and I would gladly update them with some new of mine. Most of my friends and family live in another country, we don't meet often, so it would be cool to share something with them...
But it's so unbearable to look at this face. How did this happen, why did I let it become so bad? When I look back, I never had some strict regimen, just doing a bit of this, a bit of that. So I'm myself to blame for all these scars.
It's so depressing to always cover my face when someone wants to take a picture of me or shout "NOT SO CLOSE!!!" when the cam is closer than 2 meters away. Or in daylight. Or anywhere.

I feel frustrated today because I finally discovered that my body is having an allergic reaction to something, but the allergist can't figure out what it is yet. I got tested for 300 possible allergens and now I need to see a specialist for more specific tests and different testing methods. After this is done, I can say that I have seen every kind of doctor possible to find all the causes for my acne, but they have all given me different advice and often conflicting treatments. Ugh. This forum and the Internet have been more helpful than anything else so far

Feeling a bit more positive today. Apart from from one zit that is developing into a whitehead on my top lip, my face is more or less clear. My neck however is still quite broken out and I have what appears to be a cyst developing in the hollow at the base of my neck which is very noticeable. Could do with one of those collars that people wear when they get whiplash to cover up my neck!

I don't feel pretty. Haven't updated my pictures on Facebook since last January, because I just don't feel like publishing the photoshoped ones - people are not fooled so easily and can tell the difference anyway. It's not like I'm totally addicted to Facebook or any other social media, but it's nice to see my friends sharing pictures and I would gladly update them with some new of mine. Most of my friends and family live in another country, we don't meet often, so it would be cool to share something with them...

But it's so unbearable to look at this face. How did this happen, why did I let it become so bad? When I look back, I never had some strict regimen, just doing a bit of this, a bit of that. So I'm myself to blame for all these scars.

It's so depressing to always cover my face when someone wants to take a picture of me or shout "NOT SO CLOSE!!!" when the cam is closer than 2 meters away. Or in daylight. Or anywhere.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down on yourself. I totally, completely know what that feels like, to feel like a monster when you look at yourself in the mirror. I know that this probably won't make you feel any better, but you are sooo beautiful. You really are. You could have the worst skin in the world and still be gorgeous.

I am really emotionally messed up lately, more than I think. I had terrible nightmares last night and woke up crying, I felt so upset and alone and scared I was kept crying even as I realized it was just a dream. I can't believe I'm nearly thirty and having these kinds of nightmares like a kid again. It was raining heavily outside and I said, screw it. So I called into work. I never call in. I just didn't feel I was up to facing the world today. I didn't want to bike in the rain anyway. (I know, really pathetic, having no car .. uhg.)

I think the tea tree oil is helping dry up one of these zits but uhg it's not as quick as I wish it was. I thought it would be very harsh or something but I feel zero burning or any irritation at all after using it! (It's 100 percent tea tree oil from desert essence). I really like the smell, almost everyone on the review boards said it was unpleasant .. but to me it's kind of herbal-y. Natural. I don't know. xD

I feel bad for calling in. I need the money. I probably should have just gone, because I do feel better now. But I'll just make the best of it and get some more sleep I think.

The past two days have been really crappy. I passed out yesterday during a physical for a job, yes a JOB, because the Spiro made my blood pressure drop way too low. Now the doctor doing my physical doesn't want to okay me to work, and my personal doctor is making me stop the Spiro. Ugh, hello oily skin and acne, and goodbye job.

The past two days have been really crappy. I passed out yesterday during a physical for a job, yes a JOB, because the Spiro made my blood pressure drop way too low. Now the doctor doing my physical doesn't want to okay me to work, and my personal doctor is making me stop the Spiro. Ugh, hello oily skin and acne, and goodbye joY

It's great that American kids start working so young.I mean you're 17 right? And you're already applying for jobs!That makes me feel preposterous.I'm 21 this 21st June and all i do is splurge on myself with my parents' money :/...Feel proud about yourself young lady!

Hating my reactio to my acne. This was not how i am meant to live. TGIF - i get to sit at home and vegetate - been a crazy busy week

I hate skin.

Had a pretty bad jawline outbreak these last two days, the spots really itch!

Have been feeling happier that my husband now knows all about how I've struggled with my skin, he still insists that acne lasting two decades is normal and common - wondering if he realises just how persistent mine has been? I tell him I feel disfigured - he just doesn't see it. What a lovely man, I love him so much. It is much more relaxing knowing I don't have to hide my skin from him, not that I'm ready to start tying my hair back when he's around! Not hiding your acne is one thing, but showing it off is another, haha!

Feeling really depressed and lonely now though, hubby has had to go away today for army training for three weeks, will miss him loads. We live on a little island, not much going on here and still in the 'getting to know new people and fit in' stage, slowed significantly by my skin insecurities. I feel moderately comfortable going to see people with my husband sometimes, but not sure how I will cope without him - don't really know people well enough to arrange to see them on my own yet, and I have a fear of rejection. I know I am lacking in confidence due to my skin amongst other things, it is a shame.

 

The past two days have been really crappy. I passed out yesterday during a physical for a job, yes a JOB, because the Spiro made my blood pressure drop way too low. Now the doctor doing my physical doesn't want to okay me to work, and my personal doctor is making me stop the Spiro. Ugh, hello oily skin and acne, and goodbye joY

It's great that American kids start working so young.I mean you're 17 right? And you're already applying for jobs!That makes me feel preposterous.I'm 21 this 21st June and all i do is splurge on myself with my parents' money :/...Feel proud about yourself young lady!

Thank you!! Haha, I wish I could splurge on my parents' money! I just got a call that I still have the job, so I'm pretty happy. My job is a paid internship at the hospital near my home, and I get to work in the neonatal unit. I'm so excited!

Feeling insecure today. Not sure why. My skin's not doing bad by any means - just had a few tiny whiteheads pop up today while I was working. I extracted them once I got home and they look good, not very red at all and will heal within a few days. I don't know why, but I've just felt so self conscious lately. Even though my skin is not bad--my acne would probably be classified as mild--I feel like I have the worst looking skin in the world. I have combination skin that gets SO oily in my T zone, and I have huge pores. Meanwhile I have past hyperpigmentation marks, too. Even with makeup on I feel like my skin is being judged by everyone. And then when my makeup's off, I just feel like I look like a different person. Sometimes I wonder if any boys would even like me if I stopped wearing makeup. I see a lot of girls with just perfect looking skin who can get away with no foundation or concealer, and oh, how I wish I could too. But I just feel like a fraud, putting on concealer and foundation every day before work.

I don't wear a TON of makeup. But I still do wear it. And I just feel like I'm fooling everyone, making everyone think my skin is better than it actually is. Sometimes I think, if I get a boyfriend, what will he do when he sees me without makeup?

It just sucks, but I know I'm being whiny about it. I'm trying not to let it bother me, but it's getting to me today.

I don't feel pretty. Haven't updated my pictures on Facebook since last January, because I just don't feel like publishing the photoshoped ones - people are not fooled so easily and can tell the difference anyway. It's not like I'm totally addicted to Facebook or any other social media, but it's nice to see my friends sharing pictures and I would gladly update them with some new of mine. Most of my friends and family live in another country, we don't meet often, so it would be cool to share something with them...

But it's so unbearable to look at this face. How did this happen, why did I let it become so bad? When I look back, I never had some strict regimen, just doing a bit of this, a bit of that. So I'm myself to blame for all these scars.

It's so depressing to always cover my face when someone wants to take a picture of me or shout "NOT SO CLOSE!!!" when the cam is closer than 2 meters away. Or in daylight. Or anywhere.

Sorry you're feeling so bad today. Please don't ever feel that your acne or scars are your fault, you are gorgeous and you have been doing everything you can to help yourself. Unfortunately when it comes to acne, it seems if it wants to find a way to be there, it will be there. Sometimes it feels like there's no cure, and it's so frustrating when you're doing all the right things. I learnt this the hard way, relapsed after Accutane although at least my skin is a lot better than pre-Accutane.

I confess, I have been photoshopping some of my close up Facebook pics, it's addictive when you see what you'd look like without all the lumps and bumps. Plus I've been so badly bullied over my acne, I would not want my school friends (or anyone) to know that I still have it. Feel like I am a bit deceiving but then it seems everyone's photos on there are at least Instagramed, so who knows what else others do to theirs?

how do you get rid of blackheads on your nose? ugh they're unbearable.

Honestly, I am not feeling so awful about my acne today because it doesn't seem to be as bad as the other days. Also, I am getting kind of tired of worrying about it all the time.

 

The past two days have been really crappy. I passed out yesterday during a physical for a job, yes a JOB, because the Spiro made my blood pressure drop way too low. Now the doctor doing my physical doesn't want to okay me to work, and my personal doctor is making me stop the Spiro. Ugh, hello oily skin and acne, and goodbye joY

It's great that American kids start working so young.I mean you're 17 right? And you're already applying for jobs!That makes me feel preposterous.I'm 21 this 21st June and all i do is splurge on myself with my parents' money :/...Feel proud about yourself young lady!

Thank you!! Haha, I wish I could splurge on my parents' money! I just got a call that I still have the job, so I'm pretty happy. My job is a paid internship at the hospital near my home, and I get to work in the neonatal unit. I'm so excited!

Good luck You rule! hehe