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Feeling a bit depressed today.. I think it's all the holiday stuff. I don't want to have to be around people eating...it's all really difficult. It's the reason I avoid social situations 99% of the time, but around the holidays people are really hurt if you don't show up. I hate it. It's not even really within my spirituality/religion to celebrate Christmas. But I feel forced into it due to family things (my boyfriends family mostly--my family doesn't care too much about the holidays which is one reason I'm not particularly into it).
It's just all this complicated shit in my head with food and emotions and feeling ugly and depression... I know I can do my makeup to make me look okay...but then often times I sit there feeling like there is ugliness growing beneath the surface and I'm living a lie. I can't not wear makeup because in the past, when I've gone to these get-togethers without makeup and they've all been taking pictures and what not I've hid in the bathroom half-crying because of anxiety. I DO NOT want pictures of me without makeup/looking like shit. It haunts me at night.
I know I'm stupid and superficial, but this is my fucked-up brain. I think I am just going to avoid ANYTHING to do with food. I was going to make special treats that I could eat and share, but it's all too triggering for me right now. Maybe I'll just go to the get together, focus on looking/feeling good and just not eat. There is nothing I can eat anyway, I can't eat anything from kitchens where there's gluten and there definitely is gluten at this house... so I'm stuck being the weird person at the table eating her own food out of a tupperware that she brought from home.
Ugh... life is SO much easier when I can stay at MY house with MY food and MY routine... I hate this "step outside of your comfort zone" bullshit. The reason I created the comfort zone in the first place was that the OTHER WORLD MADE ME SICK AND DESTROYED MY LIFE.
Sorry for the long rant... As for my acne... some of the big cysts I've had for months started bursting/draining on their own...which is a process unto itself but I'm trying to not pick and leave things be. I've been rubbing oregano oil all over my breakout areas and it seems to be good for reducing the pain and deep swelling more quickly. But I'm almost out of it, so I'm going to have to find another solution soon.
Dejaclairevoyant - I can relate with the food and social crap. My situation is a bit different....i am a dairy-free vegetarian and have a sunflower seed allergy. I recently became a vegetarian and recently discovered this allergy and both leave me unable to eat much at get-togethers. My family all loves meat (by love I mean EVERYTHING has meat in it) and everything they eat is processed (and really you'd be surprised at all the things sunflower seed oil is in....like everything from cookie mixes to potato chips to different margarines to you name it) so I need to read every label of everything i eat. And everyone expects you to eat what they serve and what do you say "can i see every label of everything you made this whole meal with please?" And I would never go out without makeup...as some of this family even makes mention of my acne.
And as for my acne today....I'm breaking out like crazy from stress and eating tons of sugar. I can't wait for this holiday to be over!!!!!!!!
bummed!
I have been off milk for months now (not knowing for sure if it was a trigger for my acne or not), and my face has been doing well. My mom decides to buy cereal and I kind of love cereal - and being without it for months made me want it a lot. So I've been having some every day for a week and I'm breaking out real bad. MILK must be my curse. Now I have to give it up, for good.
I've tried milk alternatives, but I don't like them.
My skin has been great. I don't get cysts anymore. I do get zits, but I no longer have "acne" problem. My scars aren't deep which I am happy. It is noticeable, but only when I'm close to you. I keep getting zits on forehead and some on acne, but very small.. I think it is the MSM lotion that I am applying doing its job. I like this lotion. My skin does look awful if I cut my hair which I won't. I have a lot of hair which covers most scars.
I need a hairstyle though 'cause my hair is usually messy.
I hope you all heal soon so you can be more happier.
My skin has been great. I don't get cysts anymore. I do get zits, but I no longer have "acne" problem. My scars aren't deep which I am happy. It is noticeable, but only when I'm close to you. I keep getting zits on forehead and some on acne, but very small.. I think it is the MSM lotion that I am applying doing its job. I like this lotion. My skin does look awful if I cut my hair which I won't. I have a lot of hair which covers most scars.
I need a hairstyle though 'cause my hair is usually messy.
I hope you all heal soon so you can be more happier.
What is the cream you're using. Can you order it online? Or maybe link us to the product somewhere (doesn't matter where, just so I can see what's in it)? I'd appreciate it because I'm interested.
Good news! I was able to go out to family function #1 today without any bad panic attacks. I was in a really good mood because I've found a new makeup routine that works for me and makes me feel beautiful again! It's soooo much better than the mineral makeup I was using before, which didn't really provide good coverage and basically made my skin look worse.
More good news: I had two expresso's to drink during the gathering and didn't get a stomach ache or any bad reaction to my skin this time! That means that occasional social coffee drinking is back on the table. Which is awesome, because after losing coffee I felt like there was absolutely no social food/drink I could do since I don't drink alcohol or eat out.
Being in my makeup and drinking coffee today made me feel like a normal person for the first time in months. Like I could just do normal-person activities and not have to worry about my skin. Although to be fair, I probably would have been too freaked out to go had my acne been as bad as it was a few weeks ago. It's maybe 20% better right now...enough to where it can be covered with makeup.
I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and pray I continue to see improvement. I'm still broken out, but it's manageable and I'm not in terrible physical pain. Please God let it stay this way or keep getting better...I'll do anything....
On 12/24/2012 at 10:07 AM, dejaclairevoyant said:On 12/24/2012 at 8:24 AM, Ghostunit said:My skin has been great. I don't get cysts anymore. I do get zits, but I no longer have "acne" problem. My scars aren't deep which I am happy. It is noticeable, but only when I'm close to you. I keep getting zits on forehead and some on acne, but very small.. I think it is the MSM lotion that I am applying doing its job. I like this lotion. My skin does look awful if I cut my hair which I won't. I have a lot of hair which covers most scars.
I need a hairstyle though 'cause my hair is usually messy.
I hope you all heal soon so you can be more happier.
What is the cream you're using. Can you order it online? Or maybe link us to the product somewhere (doesn't matter where, just so I can see what's in it)? I'd appreciate it because I'm interested.
Good news! I was able to go out to family function #1 today without any bad panic attacks. I was in a really good mood because I've found a new makeup routine that works for me and makes me feel beautiful again! It's soooo much better than the mineral makeup I was using before, which didn't really provide good coverage and basically made my skin look worse.
More good news: I had two expresso's to drink during the gathering and didn't get a stomach ache or any bad reaction to my skin this time! That means that occasional social coffee drinking is back on the table. Which is awesome, because after losing coffee I felt like there was absolutely no social food/drink I could do since I don't drink alcohol or eat out.
Being in my makeup and drinking coffee today made me feel like a normal person for the first time in months. Like I could just do normal-person activities and not have to worry about my skin. Although to be fair, I probably would have been too freaked out to go had my acne been as bad as it was a few weeks ago. It's maybe 20% better right now...enough to where it can be covered with makeup.
I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and pray I continue to see improvement. I'm still broken out, but it's manageable and I'm not in terrible physical pain. Please God let it stay this way or keep getting better...I'll do anything....
SUre! I always read the ingredient to make sure it is good for skin. This is a good product, [Edited link out]. Aw, doesn't list the ingredient, but you can google it
not feeling good at all. have people coming over for xmas in a few hours and im depressed and stressed about my skin. i have two ugly new scars on my chin from a cystic breakout and they hurt. i've covered them with makeup but you can still see them i feel. i just want this night to be over with 
i hate that this happens whenever i have a family event. other family issues have me really depressed about this xmas. i can officially say this is the WORST xmas EVER!!!!! wish i could just celebrate it with my husband and kids and no other family members. i know i'm depressed because of my acne. when im clear i am 100% happier and outgoing and less moody. i know i dont have the worst acne on the planet and it could be so much worse but i cant help but feel so depressed and deformed. i wish all of this would just go away. how do you handle this? how do you get to the point where you dont care what people think. i'm sad
I had one or two good days and now I'm coming down with the FUCKING FLU again for the second time this month. I had it at the beginning of this month. Then I finally got well and was able to go back to work. Then last week my boyfriend got sick and now here I am, getting sick again.
I am sick with stress and of course, breaking out in cystic acne again after a few good days. I can't fucking be sick. I can't miss anymore work. I don't understand why I can't get ahead and why bad things keep happening over and over and over...
pretty good, actually 
i finally finished my college apps and now i have a bunch of plans with friends and im going to chicago soon to visit my granny, got beats for christmas, life is good. ive been too distracted with everything else to be worried about my skin, which i think is getting better since im messing with it less
I'm so frustrated lately, so many little spots popping up everywhere, along with super oily skin. I hate when people are so ignorant as to say that acne is just a teenage thing...I'm 25 years old now, and the only thing that makes my face behave is BCP, which causes other side effects that I'd rather not deal with. It's such a never-ending battle. Easy to feel hopeless.
Pretty damn depressed today. I have a bad breakout along my chin...larger blemishes. I hate breaking out along that area because my skin is thin around my chin and it gets irritated so easily...so even when I use epiduo to treat it it usually leads to dry, red flaky skin that I have to moisturize like crazy. I decided not to go with the rest of my family to the extended family Christmas dinner this year because I'm ashamed of my skin and I'd rather just hibernate in my room like a hermit until this breakout heals. :/
Feeling pretty good actually Though I have small red pimple on my cheek, it isn't bothering me all that much. My red marks are almost all faded. I stopped using topicals and only use water. That for me has helped heal the red marks and help heal new zits faster. My acne is verrrry light. Like I get 2 to 3 small ones at a given time. So I just accepted that and to my suprise, my acne has subsided alot to almost non- existent. And this may sound offensive but when I see other peoples acne and see how bad/severre their acne is compared to mine, I realize I shouldn't be so self-conscious about when mine isn't even bad.
Seems most of us are having down days recently
Hope everyone starts feeling better soon!
I'm finally able to see the new site changes on computer and not just mobile -- will take some getting used to but I don't think it's that bad
I'm breaking out a bit around my forehead, eyebrows and between them and I'm sure it's due to drinking alcohol the past few days with Christmas celebrations and what not. That's where I tend to see breakouts the day after drinking and which is why I usually avoid alcohol
Had a great Christmas party with family and friends. I ate TERRIBLE the last two days, but it's ok because I've eaten healthy the last 8 months. Pies, cakes, all kinds of bread, Apple Cider - All that good unhealthy stuff.
Sorry to hear about all the other people who had downer days. I wish you guys wouldn't let skin affect your relationships with your family and friends. Life is so short. Living the moment is so important. In the grand scheme of things, concerning about our skin is so ridiculous. So many people die and don't get to experience this reality we all are facing here on this tiny precious little blue marble we call earth. The past doesn't matter. The future doesn't matter. What matters is now - the present.
Had a great `Xmas BUT over the past week or so I`ve let my guard down and eaten all sorts of stuff that I would not normally touch. I haven`t got a major acne outbreak but as of today I have some spots on my temples, a big spot on my chest and a couple on my back and it is definitely related to the crap that I have been eating over the past few days. I know it shouldn`t but it makes me feel a little bit gross and for the forseeable future I will going back to my strictly controlled diet with maybe one cappuccino per week as a treat. It really pisses me off as the rest of my family (including my absolutely pefect and beautiful sister) can eat and drink as much crap as they like and they never get any spots at all!