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I don't break out at all. I don't have any active pimple. My red marks faded almost completely. I haven't gotten any comment about my skin yet, but it healed a lot. It used to be so bad.. I'm still applying the MSM lotion, a very good one that I bought on amazon and it helped with my red marks significantly. I'm not sure if it 'cause of winter. My skin usually look better in the winter. It's been like 7-8 months already with no BP. It feels great to be clear without using chemicals. I did paid the price for stopping using BP.. but it was worth it!
Life is still the same though... I don't go out like usual. I just stay home and study, watch movie, read, and listen to music. My life isn't interested ;\
Right now I'm still clear. I'm getting no actives on my face anymore and only one or two on my chest at any one time. My back still has mild acne and I keep getting a very angry sore spot on the back of my neck - I must be doing something for it to keep reoccuring in the exact same area. Any suggestions of behaviours that might cause it to happen there - ie anything that could irritate specifically the back of the neck? (I'm talking physical irritation, not internal acne factors).
I'm so happy that my acne is gone in time for some rather important moments in my life purely because it means I can focus on them and not trying to stop my face hurting. I still sometimes get tiny stress spots, but they're nothing. I did squeeze out a clogged pore just now though and it started to bleed (Normally it doesn't irritate them, just smooths the skin out). I'm really hoping it doesn't scab over or it at least goes away before Saturday when I've got a pretty important social event going on.
I really have much higher self esteem in general nowadays and I put a lot more worth and effort where it belongs - my personality and what I can do for others. I'm terrified of Saturday for reasons i won't go into though so it's always nice when you can feel that bit extra confident that you don't feel the compulsion to put on that extra layer of foundation or whatever.
I still have acne marks on my cheeks but overall my skin is looking much better. I don't know whether to wear face makeup on Saturday or not... I know deep down that I don't need it, and that making a good impression isn't about caking on the makeup. I want to show the people that'll be there that 'this is me' - but I want to make a good impression too. I also don't want to mess up how good my skin's going with foundation, which I've not been wearing the last few weeks. I'll definitley be wearing my eye makeup and lipstick, I just don't know whether to go for the concealer and foundation or not.
Been feeling really positive for the past few days. Not obsessing so much over my skin and have even been more adventurous with my diet. Today however, a couple of small spots have come out on my upper lip and a pustule on my left cheek. The cold weather that we have in the UK at the moment tends to dry out my skin and make me more prone to mini breakouts. Can`t say I`m happy with the spots, especially as I have some `Xmas things going on in the next few days but I am determined not to let them get me down.
Right now I'm still clear. I'm getting no actives on my face anymore and only one or two on my chest at any one time. My back still has mild acne and I keep getting a very angry sore spot on the back of my neck - I must be doing something for it to keep reoccuring in the exact same area. Any suggestions of behaviours that might cause it to happen there - ie anything that could irritate specifically the back of the neck? (I'm talking physical irritation, not internal acne factors).
I'm so happy that my acne is gone in time for some rather important moments in my life purely because it means I can focus on them and not trying to stop my face hurting. I still sometimes get tiny stress spots, but they're nothing. I did squeeze out a clogged pore just now though and it started to bleed (Normally it doesn't irritate them, just smooths the skin out). I'm really hoping it doesn't scab over or it at least goes away before Saturday when I've got a pretty important social event going on.
I really have much higher self esteem in general nowadays and I put a lot more worth and effort where it belongs - my personality and what I can do for others. I'm terrified of Saturday for reasons i won't go into though so it's always nice when you can feel that bit extra confident that you don't feel the compulsion to put on that extra layer of foundation or whatever.
I still have acne marks on my cheeks but overall my skin is looking much better. I don't know whether to wear face makeup on Saturday or not... I know deep down that I don't need it, and that making a good impression isn't about caking on the makeup. I want to show the people that'll be there that 'this is me' - but I want to make a good impression too. I also don't want to mess up how good my skin's going with foundation, which I've not been wearing the last few weeks. I'll definitley be wearing my eye makeup and lipstick, I just don't know whether to go for the concealer and foundation or not.
Is there anything that you wear that regularly comes into contact with the back of your neck, i.e. a necklace or an item of clothing? If yes, the frequent spot on the back of your neck could be down to this.
Good luck with whatever it is you have going on this Saturday. I`ve got a couple of events coming up myself in the next few days which I`m a bit apprehensive about as I`m being taken out of my comfort zone. As always, I`m conscious of how my skin will look on the day but I`m gonna do my damndest to push any negative thoughts away and just go for it. If I can do it, so can you!
On 12/13/2012 at 12:34 AM, GUNNKE said:Been feeling really positive for the past few days. Not obsessing so much over my skin and have even been more adventurous with my diet. Today however, a couple of small spots have come out on my upper lip and a pustule on my left cheek. The cold weather that we have in the UK at the moment tends to dry out my skin and make me more prone to mini breakouts. Can`t say I`m happy with the spots, especially as I have some `Xmas things going on in the next few days but I am determined not to let them get me down.
On 12/12/2012 at 9:28 PM, Spotthedifference said:Right now I'm still clear. I'm getting no actives on my face anymore and only one or two on my chest at any one time. My back still has mild acne and I keep getting a very angry sore spot on the back of my neck - I must be doing something for it to keep reoccuring in the exact same area. Any suggestions of behaviours that might cause it to happen there - ie anything that could irritate specifically the back of the neck? (I'm talking physical irritation, not internal acne factors).
I'm so happy that my acne is gone in time for some rather important moments in my life purely because it means I can focus on them and not trying to stop my face hurting. I still sometimes get tiny stress spots, but they're nothing. I did squeeze out a clogged pore just now though and it started to bleed (Normally it doesn't irritate them, just smooths the skin out). I'm really hoping it doesn't scab over or it at least goes away before Saturday when I've got a pretty important social event going on.
I really have much higher self esteem in general nowadays and I put a lot more worth and effort where it belongs - my personality and what I can do for others. I'm terrified of Saturday for reasons i won't go into though so it's always nice when you can feel that bit extra confident that you don't feel the compulsion to put on that extra layer of foundation or whatever.
I still have acne marks on my cheeks but overall my skin is looking much better. I don't know whether to wear face makeup on Saturday or not... I know deep down that I don't need it, and that making a good impression isn't about caking on the makeup. I want to show the people that'll be there that 'this is me' - but I want to make a good impression too. I also don't want to mess up how good my skin's going with foundation, which I've not been wearing the last few weeks. I'll definitley be wearing my eye makeup and lipstick, I just don't know whether to go for the concealer and foundation or not.
Is there anything that you wear that regularly comes into contact with the back of your neck, i.e. a necklace or an item of clothing? If yes, the frequent spot on the back of your neck could be down to this.
Good luck with whatever it is you have going on this Saturday. I`ve got a couple of events coming up myself in the next few days which I`m a bit apprehensive about as I`m being taken out of my comfort zone. As always, I`m conscious of how my skin will look on the day but I`m gonna do my damndest to push any negative thoughts away and just go for it. If I can do it, so can you!
Good luck with yours too! 
Mine's the same thing - being pushed out of the comfort zone. New experiences are always a little scary, but we'll be awesome
I'm glad you're feeling better. Have you tried jojoba oil? Sounds like an obvious question I know sorry, but it's been staving off the UK wind for me this winter.
Hmm... that's a point. I usually wear wooly things only in the winter so it could be the material, and I'm allergic to metal in my ears so it wouldn't be too far of a push to consider if my necklaces are causing some trouble. Thanks! I'll try wearing both on seperate days and see if it comes back.
On 12/13/2012 at 2:51 AM, Spoiledka said:I hate my oily skin. Does anyone know what can help with oily skin? Help!!!
I have dry skin because my oil gets trapped in the pores and never comes to the surface. I get these little oil plugs on my chin because of it. Funnily enough they've gone away since I started taking vitamin D supplements... then again, I'm the palest, never tans except next to the equator type skin you can get, and I'm usually smothered in factor 30/50.
Dreading tomorrow.
I'm going to get a haircut and sitting in front of a mirror for an hour or more is the absolute last thing I want to be doing right now. I hope I cope with it well and don't focus on thinking how gross I look. Also hoping the haircut turns out well - pretty big change - going from a little past waist length hair to probably a little above shoulder length hair if I don't chicken out 
I'm a little worried that having shorter hair will just bring more attention to my face and skin but I always wore my long hair tied up/back so that would have done the same I guess. Oh well - might just go for it and get the short hair thing out of my system
On 12/13/2012 at 10:01 AM, Lilly75 said:Dreading tomorrow.
I'm going to get a haircut and sitting in front of a mirror for an hour or more is the absolute last thing I want to be doing right now. I hope I cope with it well and don't focus on thinking how gross I look. Also hoping the haircut turns out well - pretty big change - going from a little past waist length hair to probably a little above shoulder length hair if I don't chicken out
I'm a little worried that having shorter hair will just bring more attention to my face and skin but I always wore my long hair tied up/back so that would have done the same I guess. Oh well - might just go for it and get the short hair thing out of my system
Can we swap? I'm trying to grow mine
I haven't cut my hair in almost two years now. When it gets to maybe hip length I'm going to have to cut the ends of my dreads off because I just don't think I can handle knee-length hair. But that'll probably be a good 3-4 years from now anyway.
Good luck at the salon lilly!
Me:
I'm doing okay. I know I need a good EFT therapy session soon. I didn't get to have one yesterday because my boyfriend came home from work and I don't feel comfortable releasing my emotions like that with anyone else around.
My skin was healing and then I decided to be adventurous and ate some raw chocolate. I got a terrible stomach ache all night and a HUGE cyst formed the next morning--too much for it to be a coincidence. I know chocolate is on the list of foods that are bad for leaky gut, but I was hopeful that it was all in my head. Unfortunately, it was a nice reminder that this isn't all in my head, and just because I've developed disordered thinking that has led me to unnecessarily fear certain foods, that doesn't mean that I don't literally have a ripped-apart gut that I need to be careful with. So I've moved chocolate onto the "maybe later after I've healed my gut" list.
I had one emotional meltdown yesterday while trying to be close to my boyfriend. The cysts all over my chin and jawline hurt so bad that I couldn't even relax when being close to him because I was so scared of him accidentally bumping my face and making me scream in pain. It was too much for me and I started crying due to the misery of my situation. He tried to be supportive, but I can tell he doesn't know what to say. He has perfect skin. He is beautiful and healthy. He will never know and I feel bad for putting him in the position of having to be there for me. All he can ever say is he thinks I'm beautiful anyway and that "it will get better soon." He's been telling me "it's going to get better soon" for over a year now. It just is so frustrating and sometimes his attempts at support make me feel worse. I don't want to be mean or unnapreciative so I try to keep this battle to myself as much as possible.
I'm in slightly less pain today than yesterday, so I'm hopeful that today can be a good day despite being broken out still.
Spotthedifference, thank you for the moral support! .My skin is still very dry so I took your advice and purchased a bottle of jojoba oil from Holland and Barrett on my way home from work this evening. I`ve never used jojoba oil as a moisturiser before so if anyone out there on acne.org can give me any tips on how best to use it as a facial moisturiser, it would be very much appreciated.
On 12/13/2012 at 11:37 PM, dejaclairevoyant said:I haven't cut my hair in almost two years now.
When it gets to maybe hip length I'm going to have to cut the ends of my dreads off because I just don't think I can handle knee-length hair. But that'll probably be a good 3-4 years from now anyway.
Good luck at the salon lilly!
Me:
I'm doing okay. I know I need a good EFT therapy session soon. I didn't get to have one yesterday because my boyfriend came home from work and I don't feel comfortable releasing my emotions like that with anyone else around.
My skin was healing and then I decided to be adventurous and ate some raw chocolate. I got a terrible stomach ache all night and a HUGE cyst formed the next morning--too much for it to be a coincidence. I know chocolate is on the list of foods that are bad for leaky gut, but I was hopeful that it was all in my head. Unfortunately, it was a nice reminder that this isn't all in my head, and just because I've developed disordered thinking that has led me to unnecessarily fear certain foods, that doesn't mean that I don't literally have a ripped-apart gut that I need to be careful with. So I've moved chocolate onto the "maybe later after I've healed my gut" list.
I had one emotional meltdown yesterday while trying to be close to my boyfriend. The cysts all over my chin and jawline hurt so bad that I couldn't even relax when being close to him because I was so scared of him accidentally bumping my face and making me scream in pain. It was too much for me and I started crying due to the misery of my situation. He tried to be supportive, but I can tell he doesn't know what to say. He has perfect skin. He is beautiful and healthy. He will never know and I feel bad for putting him in the position of having to be there for me. All he can ever say is he thinks I'm beautiful anyway and that "it will get better soon." He's been telling me "it's going to get better soon" for over a year now. It just is so frustrating and sometimes his attempts at support make me feel worse. I don't want to be mean or unnapreciative so I try to keep this battle to myself as much as possible.
I'm in slightly less pain today than yesterday, so I'm hopeful that today can be a good day despite being broken out still.
Sorry to hear about the negative experience you had with the raw chocolate. Although it wasn`t pleasant, at least you know that for the time being it is a food that you cannot tolerate. I find that knowing what you can and cannot eat is a minefield (in my case more psychologically than anything else). It sounds as though you are determined to challenge and overcome the thinking that you have developed over food. That takes bravery and you should congratulate yourself on your efforts. On Monday, I`m going out for Christmas dinner with some people I work with. This is completely out of my comfort zone as I have not been out for a meal for a long time. It`s a challenge but I`m determined to go for it and eat as normally as everyone else for once.
I remember when I was with an ex a few years ago - she was in exactly the same position as your boyfriend is now. She used to tell me till she was blue in the face that she loved me and didn`t care about my acne. My problem was that I found it impossible to believe her as I felt so hideous and repulsive. Unfortunately, my insecurity made it impossible for her to live with me and we eventually split-up. Looking back objectively now, I can see that the girl really did love me and I was an absolute fool to push away someone who was really special.
From your point of view, it sounds as though although it may be difficult for him to say the right things and to understand exactly what you are going through, your boyfriend truly loves you and will support you in whatever way he can. It`s hard when you feel absolutely crap about yourself but when he compliments you, try to embrace and accept what he says. Finding a partner who really loves you is not easy and it sounds as though in your boyfriend, you have found someone who really does love you and that is something to cherish and feel good about.
Woke up feeling like today was gonna be a better day. Just got done crying my eyes out :/ this is the second day in a row. I'm on doxycycline and epiduo for 15 days now. Not seeing an ounce of hope yet. It's hard to be patient though. I've been patient for years now. Especially when my sister is absolutely beautiful and doesn't wear an ounce of makeup and can just hop out if the shower and be on get way. That's what bothers me the most, the feeling that I can't just go out of the house feeling confident. I have to put on a mask of makeup, isolate myself, try not to touch my face, avoid certain lighting, miss out on family and friend functions, oh and feel completely unattractive every dongle day. And the worst part is, I HATE that I let it affect my entire life so much, when in reality most people don't care/notice...
Dongle= single 
It turns out that the best thing for my face isn't washing it with soap, splashing it with just water, OR not washing it at all. It's using only water, but rubbing my hands around and getting the oil off. My skin is no longer oily, looks great even right after I shower (which it never did before), and isn't breaking out. I can even do it in the morning and my face doesn't look ridiculous afterwards, which it always did when I would just splash it. It hit me that since oil and water separate I'm going to need to do more than just splash.
B5 is helping a lot too. I've still only had 2-4 pimples in like 2 weeks. And I've been eating a ton of chips and cookies. Separating solids and liquids is another major factor.
On 12/13/2012 at 11:37 PM, dejaclairevoyant said:I haven't cut my hair in almost two years now.
Good luck at the salon lilly!
Me:
I'm doing okay. I know I need a good EFT therapy session soon. I didn't get to have one yesterday because my boyfriend came home from work and I don't feel comfortable releasing my emotions like that with anyone else around.
My skin was healing and then I decided to be adventurous and ate some raw chocolate. I got a terrible stomach ache all night and a HUGE cyst formed the next morning--too much for it to be a coincidence. I know chocolate is on the list of foods that are bad for leaky gut, but I was hopeful that it was all in my head. Unfortunately, it was a nice reminder that this isn't all in my head, and just because I've developed disordered thinking that has led me to unnecessarily fear certain foods, that doesn't mean that I don't literally have a ripped-apart gut that I need to be careful with. So I've moved chocolate onto the "maybe later after I've healed my gut" list.
I had one emotional meltdown yesterday while trying to be close to my boyfriend. The cysts all over my chin and jawline hurt so bad that I couldn't even relax when being close to him because I was so scared of him accidentally bumping my face and making me scream in pain. It was too much for me and I started crying due to the misery of my situation. He tried to be supportive, but I can tell he doesn't know what to say. He has perfect skin. He is beautiful and healthy. He will never know and I feel bad for putting him in the position of having to be there for me. All he can ever say is he thinks I'm beautiful anyway and that "it will get better soon." He's been telling me "it's going to get better soon" for over a year now. It just is so frustrating and sometimes his attempts at support make me feel worse. I don't want to be mean or unnapreciative so I try to keep this battle to myself as much as possible.
I'm in slightly less pain today than yesterday, so I'm hopeful that today can be a good day despite being broken out still.
Thank you It went well - I didn't breakdown while sitting in front of the mirror (which I was worried about) and I really like my hair being shorter! So I'm happy with it 
Hope things become less painful for you soon - I hate those cystic jawline/chin pimples. So horrible to deal with. I can feel a few coming up on my chin so I know what you mean. I know what you mean also about wanting to keep this battle to yourself, but I think it's good to get it out. It helps you deal with it all and process it, but I find people in my life don't understand so it's hard to talk to them about it - which is why I like the community here.
On 12/13/2012 at 5:50 PM, Spotthedifference said:Can we swap? I'm trying to grow mine
Hahah well there was A LOT chopped off... but I don't think you'd want to glue it to the end of yours Good luck with growing it!
I`ve broken out a little bit on my forehead today - nothing dreadful, just one or two small whiteheads. Can`t say I`m happy with it and I will hold my hands up and admit that I`m checking the spots in the mirror at every opportunity. However, I`ve managed to interact and chat with people at work today - no one has said anything so if it doesn`t bother anyone else, why should I let it bother me?
I`m a long way from where I want to be in terms of accepting and liking myself but the way I have responded to a small challenge today makes me think that I`m making progress (and I haven`t even started CBT yet). Furthermore, got a works meal and a night out to look forward to next week. In the past, I would have pulled out or made an excuse not to go - it is not happening this year. I`m apprehensive but I`m determined to enjoy these events - negative thoughts can go to hell!
Today was okay. Work sucked (lot's of mirrors) and I didn't have time for therapy but I did go visit a friend and she gave me a ton of new pretty clothes that make me feel so lovely. It's good being around friends. Isolating yourself is one of the hardest tendencies to overcome with this disease (both acne and anxiety/depression).
Skin is still doing its thing... I am trying hard not to pick at the cysts, even when it looks like they are coming to a head. Compulsive picking and skin-care regimens are so hard to break. This is day three or four of just washing and moisturizing my face and not coating it in masks, picking at it too much or anything else. I'm hoping that if I can't stop the cysts, at least maybe if I don't pick at them they won't scar as deeply.
I haven't cut my hair in almost two years now.
Good luck at the salon lilly!
Me:
I'm doing okay. I know I need a good EFT therapy session soon. I didn't get to have one yesterday because my boyfriend came home from work and I don't feel comfortable releasing my emotions like that with anyone else around.
My skin was healing and then I decided to be adventurous and ate some raw chocolate. I got a terrible stomach ache all night and a HUGE cyst formed the next morning--too much for it to be a coincidence. I know chocolate is on the list of foods that are bad for leaky gut, but I was hopeful that it was all in my head. Unfortunately, it was a nice reminder that this isn't all in my head, and just because I've developed disordered thinking that has led me to unnecessarily fear certain foods, that doesn't mean that I don't literally have a ripped-apart gut that I need to be careful with. So I've moved chocolate onto the "maybe later after I've healed my gut" list.
I had one emotional meltdown yesterday while trying to be close to my boyfriend. The cysts all over my chin and jawline hurt so bad that I couldn't even relax when being close to him because I was so scared of him accidentally bumping my face and making me scream in pain. It was too much for me and I started crying due to the misery of my situation. He tried to be supportive, but I can tell he doesn't know what to say. He has perfect skin. He is beautiful and healthy. He will never know and I feel bad for putting him in the position of having to be there for me. All he can ever say is he thinks I'm beautiful anyway and that "it will get better soon." He's been telling me "it's going to get better soon" for over a year now. It just is so frustrating and sometimes his attempts at support make me feel worse. I don't want to be mean or unnapreciative so I try to keep this battle to myself as much as possible.
I'm in slightly less pain today than yesterday, so I'm hopeful that today can be a good day despite being broken out still.
raw chocolate contain caffeine. Not sure if you have problem ingesting caffeine.
Sad, depressed and angry. A week ago I had no breakouts. I was happy enjoying life. A week later I have new breakouts. One huge cystic near my laugh line on me chin. Of course I picked at it and made if worse. I wouldn't care ax much if I were home but I'm at a hotel with family. This sux. My skin was finally clearing up and then BAM this happens. I just want to be home in my room praying this day goes by fast. 
So yeah, I cleared up a lot, but I am left with acne scars which are very noticeable. I know they will improve a bit more since they are new acne scars. It does bother me because I can't get a haircut 'till they improve more. If I cut my hair very short, my skin will look a lot more worse. I have a lot of hair which covers most acne scars.
Feel like shit today, broke down at work and was asked to just go home, but I was like "I need the money" so I just stayed. I didn't get much sleep last night so I think this exacerbated it, obviously. I hate how I CANNOT sleep the night before work, I only work at the weekends and struggle to sleep at the weekends...I just hope these anti-depressants help this when they kick in.
Here is a comment I received on my blog today:
"why are we supposed to take all these beauty tips & recipes when you have such horrible diseased skin & protruding fleshy cysts everywhere??? maybe try not having the skin of a right-whale before dictating what anyone should do, acne monster elephant woman"
^ This is the exact type of bullying that leads people with skin problems (or any other physical abnormality) to suicide, body dysmorphic disorder and feelings of not wanting to leave the house.
I hope I did the right thing by not responding to the comment and deleting it immediately.
And for the record, if anyone who posted that happened to come from this site, I just want to say that my blog is about the pursuit of beauty and health as a woman, including the pursuit of clear skin. I've been quite open on my blog about my battle not only for the health of my skin but for my emotional health and well-being as well. Never did I claim to be an expert on beauty or clear skin, if I was, I probably wouldn't write blogs documenting my pursuit of these things.
That said, leaving a comment like that on the blog of a girl who has openly shared her struggles with low-self esteem and a distorted self image is just fucking cruel. I think whoever did that should be ashamed of themselves.
So yeah...I'm not feeling great about my acne today, but I am feeling like a good person...which is more than I can say for some....
Here is a comment I received on my blog today:
"why are we supposed to take all these beauty tips & recipes when you have such horrible diseased skin & protruding fleshy cysts everywhere??? maybe try not having the skin of a right-whale before dictating what anyone should do, acne monster elephant woman"
^ This is the exact type of bullying that leads people with skin problems (or any other physical abnormality) to suicide, body dysmorphic disorder and feelings of not wanting to leave the house.
I hope I did the right thing by not responding to the comment and deleting it immediately.
And for the record, if anyone who posted that happened to come from this site, I just want to say that my blog is about the pursuit of beauty and health as a woman, including the pursuit of clear skin. I've been quite open on my blog about my battle not only for the health of my skin but for my emotional health and well-being as well. Never did I claim to be an expert on beauty or clear skin, if I was, I probably wouldn't write blogs documenting my pursuit of these things.
That said, leaving a comment like that on the blog of a girl who has openly shared her struggles with low-self esteem and a distorted self image is just fucking cruel. I think whoever did that should be ashamed of themselves.
So yeah...I'm not feeling great about my acne today, but I am feeling like a good person...which is more than I can say for some....
You did the right thing. He is obviously not well-educate and don't know nothing about health, nutrition, etc. Being a vegan 100% raw helped me a lot. My skin glows and it is very smooth, but I am dealing with acne scars now .. they are awful, very noticeable ;\. I didn't go vegan for my skin. I want to be healthy without eating animals, etc. Keep doing your thing!!
Hello everyone, DID YOU MISS ME???? ...... its been a while since i posted here, and this is my final post on this forum. I simply don't have time anymore with my immense school work, plus acne doesn't affect me as much as it used to. I'm going to miss you guys, so many of you have been there for me, and without this forum i don't know where i'd be. You people made me not feel alone, gave me confidence, and ultimately made my life better. I know its corny but i will miss you all so much. I hope everyone who reads this has the best life possible. You will all be at peace one day ....... Goodbye i'll never forget Acne.org.
Sincerely: Ryan
Had a bit of a break down in a shopping center today - even started to tear up but managed to keep things under control. I was in a jewelers and the lighting in there is so lovely to show off their jewelry but not for your skin! I looked up from the rings I was looking at and, without meaning to, caught my reflection in a mirror - and it just upset me so much. And then later I was shopping for a new foundation that will match my pale skin colour but still cover well for when I want to wear makeup. It's a lot harder than it sounds. In most brands, their lightest shade is too dark or orange/yellow for my skin.
My skin is a mess. I just keep thinking - I wish I was beautiful. I normally try to think more positively about this but sometimes it's hard and I just have to let myself have the odd down day I guess.
Im gonna go get a haircut...wish me luck, hopefully i dont die from staring at that big ass mirror
Good luck I'm sure you'll be fine - I had this same worry a few days ago but I survived it.
Here is a comment I received on my blog today:
"why are we supposed to take all these beauty tips & recipes when you have such horrible diseased skin & protruding fleshy cysts everywhere??? maybe try not having the skin of a right-whale before dictating what anyone should do, acne monster elephant woman"
^ This is the exact type of bullying that leads people with skin problems (or any other physical abnormality) to suicide, body dysmorphic disorder and feelings of not wanting to leave the house.
I hope I did the right thing by not responding to the comment and deleting it immediately.
And for the record, if anyone who posted that happened to come from this site, I just want to say that my blog is about the pursuit of beauty and health as a woman, including the pursuit of clear skin. I've been quite open on my blog about my battle not only for the health of my skin but for my emotional health and well-being as well. Never did I claim to be an expert on beauty or clear skin, if I was, I probably wouldn't write blogs documenting my pursuit of these things.
That said, leaving a comment like that on the blog of a girl who has openly shared her struggles with low-self esteem and a distorted self image is just fucking cruel. I think whoever did that should be ashamed of themselves.
So yeah...I'm not feeling great about my acne today, but I am feeling like a good person...which is more than I can say for some....
That comment makes me furious!! How can people be so insensitive and rude!!? It also upsets me at the same time... - great to get an insight into how some people view acne huh...
You're exactly right about that type of bullying leading to more emotional hurt and/or disorders etc. And you're right in having deleted that comment.
Yeah, it was depressing. But weirdly enough, it didn't really upset me, acne-wise. Or self-worth wise, I mean. I think the type of thoughts that person said to me about myself a lot of the day anyway and I'm probably harder on myself than any bully ever would be, so I was kind of numb to it in that sense.
It did however, really bother me in the sense of seeing the darkness and cruelty that people unleash on each other for no apparent reason. I have no enemies that I know of. That person was just a random stranger who took the time out of their day to attempt to hurt me deeply, for no reason other than to entertain themselves. This after watching the news all day the day before about how someone just went and brutally murdered a bunch of tiny little kids in my country... it's just like...why.
Where does the darkness and the cruelty come from? Why is it there? How do we stop it?
I don't really have answers but I know stuff like this happens every day, and there is something toxic and wrong in our society for it to be like that.
Anyway, my skin is pretty much the same. At least it isn't worse. I've managed not to pick at it, pop and drain any of the cysts, etc. I'm just leaving it the hell alone. I'm not sure if that's helping or not. The ones that are deep under the skin are still really painful.
I bought myself some new expensive makeup stuff to make me feel better. Hopefully it will be nice to my skin. I don't wear makeup often but I want to find makeup that works for me so that when I do want to go out and feel "normal" I can. I have a lot of great eye makeup that I love in my collection, it's just the foundation/concealer routine that I need to figure out.