BLAHHHHH !!! Just received Dans regiment today
yay im excited to start it tonight !!! i will start slowly though not crazy bumping the BP on the first day. Hopefully this clears me !!!! prayers
Good luck! I had vitamin rich liver pate today which tasted good, definitely going to become a regular in my diet now. Using multipack pitta bread for my biweekly tuna, so im thinking about using the leftover for a daily egg, beetroot, carrot and onion salad. Not really looking forward to gym tonight cuz ive not been eating so much, but my skin is still clearing.
Not too bad today. I'm starting to get acclimated with the new job and meeting some cool people there. They don't seem to notice my skin. I work with a lot of young people and truth be told, they all seem to have some form of acne. Makes me feel at home, haha. It does feel good to have a job and be making money again.
I still have two red blemishes on either side of my nose...these fuckers take forever to heal but I'm using aspirin masks and some Differin to kill them.
I feel lonely and sad. I wonder if I will ever be good enough for myself.
How can you not be good enough for yourself? Try and not think like that. Also remember not to compare yourself to others and unrealistic expectations! I had that issue for a while - I didn't even realise I was doing it but I was comparing myself to other girls and it just put me in this miserable state.
And I second what Murph said - go out and enjoy yourself and clear skin.
Feel better soon
down down down.......went out with my cousin...... went to my relatives place for dinner and i felt okay since no one bugged me about my face.........
and then i came across a huge mirror and bright light in the restroom and my world came crashing down again.............. stupid acne stupid red marks..... i criticized my skin again and felt shitty!!!!!!!!!
i hate myself.... i hate my face......what's the matter with me????????? oh yeah.......i lost a couple marbles.....
Very good. This is not acne related but its been a little over a week since i quit pot. Had a lot of withdrawal in the beginnig especially just getting stressed and annoyed over little things. That and anxiety. But last night I had AMAZING sleep and my dreams were so freakin lucid and fun. I remember the conversations I had and the details just so clear. And today my mind and vision is super clear. I am also told by a person who owes me 300 bucks that he can pay me today so thats aways good. Its friday. I wish everyone a good weekend. No matter how shitty it can be, I hope you can find something that will make you happy. cheers.
Thanks guys for all your replies! I appreciate it so much! But I guess at some times I have more self esteem issues besides my acne. Now that my acne has gone away (for now) I believe all my the other self esteem issues are rising to the surface. I was so focused on my acne that I forgot about all the other issues I had. We all think that if we feel good about ourselves on the outside everything will be good. And that's what I thought but now that my acne is gone I realize that's not always true. But you are all right I just need to be happy and enjoy life. And that's what I will do. thanks
I GOT A JOB! finally. god damn took long enough! Its at The New York Dog Shop, 6 blocks from my apartment. Small little dog retail accessory store. Owner started the company just selling dog accessories from her apartment, then opened a store. Its been 5 years since shes had the store. She does 50/50 sales with online and through the store. She said people from all the over the country that buy from her website, come out to NYC just to see her store, which is pretty good. So yeah, got me a job. Im still looking for something can pays more, and has more hours, but for the mean time, this will be good.
got a red mark that could pass a bruise, i dont usually get marks like that. i must be eating less than 1500cals per day but i feel good, im exercising better, and the worst of my skin is gone. ps pitta + egg + onion + carrot + beet is delicious, or im just really hungry.
Nothing major has happened. I don't really feel anything. I realized that juggling school, work, family,whatever's left of my social life and acne isn't so easy. I need some change in my life.. I think I need to forget about my ex and find someone else. It's just not that easy tho. Anyways I'm off to work soon. Every one keep on fighting.
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.
Tell me what you know about dreamin' dreamin' you dont really know bout nothin nothin, Tel me what you know bout them night terrors every night 5am cold sweats' wakin' up to the skies.
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.
Kid Cudi !!! Thats my boy
This song always gets me in the mood !!!!!! Love it !!!!!
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.
Tell me what you know about dreamin' dreamin' you dont really know bout nothin nothin, Tel me what you know bout them night terrors every night 5am cold sweats' wakin' up to the skies.
Descent taste . Thats my Jam !!!! lol
Im running 2.5k in 9:30 twice a day comfortably when my pb is 9:10 and I havent sprint trained for ages. Eating less is definitely the way forward; I wake faster in the morning because Im hungry, I save money on food, and Im more focussed. As a chef I got used to pigging out but this is a new dawn.
So my Saturday night went something like this....it was all well and fine hanging out with the last freinds I have, until buckets.
What is buckets you might ask? Well il tell you. Its when two people put on hockey helmets and glove and then they box....
So anyways, I'm scrawny. Scrawny scrawny scrawny. And it sucks
It makes me feel like shit. Everyone makes fun of me for it....so they suggested I box my friends 8 year old brother. I'm literally double his age.
And I got my ass handed to me. I couldn't even get one FUCKING PUNCH IN. they video taped the whole thing and now its all on facebook. I went home and I cried like a 5 year old girl. I feel pathetic. I'm such a fucking loser. I'm sick of working out the most and still being tiny and studying the hardest and getting the worst grades......why do I even fucking try? ....I'm an outcast, a freak, loser, nerd, pussy.......goodnight
So my Saturday night went something like this....it was all well and fine hanging out with the last freinds I have, until buckets.
What is buckets you might ask? Well il tell you. Its when two people put on hockey helmets and glove and then they box....
So anyways, I'm scrawny. Scrawny scrawny scrawny. And it sucks
It makes me feel like shit. Everyone makes fun of me for it....so they suggested I box my friends 8 year old brother. I'm literally double his age.
And I got my ass handed to me. I couldn't even get one FUCKING PUNCH IN. they video taped the whole thing and now its all on facebook. I went home and I cried like a 5 year old girl. I feel pathetic. I'm such a fucking loser. I'm sick of working out the most and still being tiny and studying the hardest and getting the worst grades......why do I even fucking try? ....I'm an outcast, a freak, loser, nerd, pussy.......goodnight
Hey I know the feeling. I'm a girl and I'm tall and skinny genetically.ppl always ask me do you eat? And it really hurts my feeling. Ppl always make comments about my weight or how skinny I am. Its never ending and sometimes I feel like I won't be good enough for myself or for other ppl. Its a never ending cycle. Guys expect every girl to be curvy with big boob and a big butt and when they see me they act like I'm an alien. :/ sorry for spilling my guts just know I 'understand where your coming from.