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hopeless

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ive had acne for forever, after two rounds of accutane and tretinoin that made my skin worse, im left with a complete mess of a face that i cant show in public. I still have acne thats coming back so i probably need to go on accutane again. Im severely depressed extremely socially anxious and sometimes i cant even get out of bed. I feel like everyone is always staring at me and i dont really have any hope for the future. All i do is think about my scars and what i could ever do to get rid of them or clear my skin. i know people will tell me to probably get psychological help but ive had very bad experiences with mental health professionals and i feel like the only thing i can do now is pray that someone can lead me in the right direction. 
ive had one phenol cross treatment, but it didnt really make a difference. I know i need to go back for more but they didnt want to do another session until my acne cleared up, which i feel wont happen any time soon. 
I want a life back that has any sense of normalcy. I dont want to feel so ashamed all the time. i want to feel beautiful and comfortable in my own skin. 
ive been considering trying to go to out of network famous dermatologists around the country just for any hope that I can be able to live a normal life, if anyone has suggestions for people to see please let me know, at this point money is no object.

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One girl at work has it pretty bad. But she did an allergy test for various things, and she appears to be allergic to grains. She cut it out of her diet and her acne has been quite noticeably clearer.

This is an avenue you can pursue if you haven’t already. What you consume has a lot to contribute to this. 

It’s been documented that people who live in tribes and isolation, don’t suffer from acne (of course there could be exceptions), but by in large no. You can conclude that the major difference between them and us is, processed food/sugars, they get more fresh air than we do, and they don’t really have much stress. Address these areas in your life and you may see results.

In my case I’ve given up dairy products and anything with fat and I’ve got it to be very manageable, just regularly clean face and plenty of water, still can’t get rid of stress due to work though :(

 

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check your sleep. are you getting quality sleep? do you feel refreshed when you wake up? Maybe go to sleep earlier. Try all natural products as far as shampoo, toothpaste and cleanser. heck you might want to try just using water. many people have hard water which causes soap or cleanser to leave a residue on the face which blocks pores. if you must use a cleanser, use cotton balls soaked with water to wipe down the skin afterwards then wash your face with just water. use 20% glycolic pads twice a week to exfoliate.

as far as the scars...it is like a cruel joke. whoever is pulling the strings has many different maladies to inflict on people. can you imagine being born beautiful and having your life taken at 6 years old? 12 years old? 18, 20? It happens. Jose Fernandez was a 22 year old hotshot millionaire with many more millions to come and he dies albeit due to sketchy judgement. Kobe Bryant was 42 with the world in the palm of his hands and a life many people dream of and he dies young. Anything bad can happen to anyone at anytime and there's not guarantees. no guarantee of smooth skin, no guarantee of kids, no guarantee to live past 2 years after birth, no guarantees of health. defects can be anything in our body or outside (scars). I would keep an eye on fillers. I think fillers might be the key to success. Ideally, it would be a filler that helps grow collagen and is long term, yet can be dissolved if emergency arises (unlike bellifill).

hang in there and no you're not alone. in fact there are people who overcame their scars to be successful. lawrence fishburne, wayne huizinga was a billionaire, edward james olmos, there's a guy on youtube big on lifting weights who has bad scarring and he has a gorgeous girlfriend and he never lets it get in the way of living. You might have to differentiate the body with the spirit. The body gets old and wrinkled and aged yet the spirit inside stays the same.your perception and everything you see and experience has nothing to do with your physical body. hopefully this makes sense. I know it sounds like deep philosophical mumbo jumbo but think about it.... 

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