Hey all,
I just need a place to vent. I'm a 34 year old guy, never had really good skin but recently things got a whole lot worse.I had a 1.5mm dermaroller which I used for hair loss. I read somewhere that you could use it to help with pores as well. Without giving it much thought i decided to use it on my nose (beginning of February). The worst mistake anyone could ever make, so let this be a warning to be very cautious when dermarolling at home (on the nose). I feel so stupid for doing this, I want to turn back time and stop myself from even thinking this could be a good idea.
I went to the dermatologistand after examining he said that I created scarring on my nose by dermarolling too deep. This was pretty much what I expected but it left me devastated, I tried to help my skin but instead I ruined it. It was no longer inflammation because that should have healed by now. The dermatologist said the scarring might still heal a little bit in the upcoming months and we made a new appointment in november to evaluate and possibly try chemical peelings and/or fraxel. But for now I need to put it beside me.
All this made me spiral into a depression, possibly fueled by a minor burn-out from work related stress (and some relationship troubles). In the meantime I've been seeing a psychologist. He (and pretty much everyone around me) sees nothing wrong with my nose. Even my partner and parents don't see anything different.But for me it's become the center of my life. I think about it all day and every time I look into a mirror I focus on all the scarring and it makes me angry and sad. So now I am going back and forth weather this problem is in my head, or an actual skin problem. I'm still not sure, however i'm currently getting cognitive behavioral therapy to help me focus my thoughts and compulsive mirror checking.
It's gotten so bad that I can't even focus on my work and I fear i might even lose my job and my relationship over this stupid obsession with my nose. Because i felt so hideous I have even cheatedon my long term partner just to feel attractive. Which of course doesn't help and made the mess I'm in even more horrible.
Any of you have any advice on how to accept this kind of situation? When looking in certain mirrors I feel sick in my stomach and just want to disappear. The only option left seems to get on anti-depressants.
Sorry for this rant, but it feels good to get this of my chest.
Cheers.
Hey bud, hope everything got easier from the last time you checked this post. I feel you 100%. I had bad skin in the early years of college and passed up job opps, friendships and relationships. I would be a fool to say "it doesnt matter just go on with your life", but really its mind over matter. One day, youre going to do great things and how you look will be the least of your concern. Building daily habits and routines can go a long way and teach mental discipline. One thing i did was limit the times i went to the bathroom to judge how my skin looks. I take one look in the morning, and one at night. and inbetween, I tell myself that how others feel about me matters less than how much im feeling about having the liberating freedom of doing things for fun again rather than finding excuses to hide.