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Yasminexra

Wasting years because of acne, anyone relate?

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Hello,

I just kinda wanted to rant. Note: It's 7 am and I haven't slept yet, which is normal for me.
But soon or later school will start and just thinking about me want to end it all (Yes, it's extreme). But hear me out.

Years and years even when I was bullied for my skin I just kept studying. No matter how ugly I felt, how much I isolated myself because of acne or how bad my depression got I just studied. In hopes of clearing up in a few years and have a future (such a joke).

Well I'm 19 now, about to start university (laws) in about 2 months. And every single day terrifies me. I have to make a choice sooner or later.

Here is how it is laid out in my head:
If I go ...
1.It's torturing myself like I have the past few years.
The same routine: Crying while getting ready for school, pretending to be okay, feeling like people are staring at me. Getting home and cry when I remove my make up. 
Also; Granted with my depression right now I won't be able to concentrate on ANYTHING, right now I'm surviving by sleeping and distracting myself with the internet.
One good thing is that studying distracts me, only this time my mental health has gotten so bad I'm actually sure it won't work this time.

If I don't go...
I'll be a failure for my parents. Hey, I already am but I mean this choice would really make me a failure to them.
Other than that I'll just be able to 'live' like I'm doing right now. Hiding, sleeping, internetting and switching day and night like I'm doing right now. I mean, it works (even if it's lonely and painful).. But for a whole year?


I don't even want a solution or think about it. I'm just ranting to no one in particular until I hopefully fall asleep. It is hopeless really. I don't even have 1% hope in the future, let alone the upcoming months. I'm just hoping this miserable 'life'  miraculously ends somehow.

But has anyone experienced the same thing, or is going through something similar?
Again, I'm not trying to find a way out. I just want to share things on this platform

It's so stupid that I even have to think about this, IT'S SO unfair! Everyone else has to deal with other problems but at least they're able to show up to places and LIVE without having all these mental problems and unsightful faces because of acne (for years!)
And it sucks that this has restricted me so much and probably be the end of me, not even being  dramatic. Anyways, I'll just stop here before I write more.Thanks for reading if you did.
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You might be surprised to hear that it is quite normal to feel this way. ALRIGHT HERE ARE YOUR TWO OPTIONS---

Do you want to be  -

1-SUCCESSFUL WITH ACNE
2-FAILURE WITH ACNE

These are the two choices you have. Whatever choice you make will impact your life in a big way. Stop overthinking it. Get rid of the mirrors. Start reading. There are tons of people like us. If only a few people had acne, I doubt this site would even exist. But it exists and the innumerable posts suggest that there are thousands out there just like us. Whenever you are feeling sad, Go on this site and read some of the positive posts.

"Crying while getting ready for school, pretending to be okay, feeling like people are staring at me. Getting home and cry when I remove my make up. "

Its okay. Its painful to go through this still I want you to feel the pain and accept it .I am sure it will be easy this time .
Now after a few years, you will get a degree, you will have a face with less acne, you will be emotionally strong and all this will be a catalyst for your success.


 

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I know exactly how you feel because I felt the same way about two months ago and to make it worse, I went thru a whole semester of uni with huge cystic acne. I wasn't bullied because of my acne but I did get some nasty comments from adults. I used to cry everytime I looked in the mirror. I was on this forum, youtube and google everyday looking for remedies until I realized that we're just making all these up in our minds. WE are causing ourselves to be depressed, how will you be happy if you dont love yourself??? anyway, I stopped obsessing over my acne and stuck to a routine (i'll link it below, it may help you) that helped me clear my acne and I started to forget that I even have acne. my skin is still far from perfect, the cysts left huge red scars all over my face and I still have a few pimples on my cheeks, however, I dont feel sad or angry about it because I know that it will gradually fade with time. 

remember, acne is just temporary.
 


 

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10 hours ago, TuongNguyen97 said:

I dont find acne unattractive at alll.If you see my scars you'll realize there are worse things than acne.Be happy girl ^^


Believe me, where I live when you have acne everyone one looks down on you. Friends of my mom used to tell me I should do something, I hear that guys disrespect girls just because they have acne. Not that I really care anymore, I'm just trying to say: you might be a good person and not see the acne but most people aren't like that. I also have scars (from a young age) so that's that...
 
On 10-7-2018 at 10:44 AM, terminator1997 said:

You might be surprised to hear that it is quite normal to feel this way. ALRIGHT HERE ARE YOUR TWO OPTIONS---

Do you want to be  -

1-SUCCESSFUL WITH ACNE
2-FAILURE WITH ACNE

These are the two choices you have. Whatever choice you make will impact your life in a big way. Stop overthinking it. Get rid of the mirrors. Start reading. There are tons of people like us. If only a few people had acne, I doubt this site would even exist. But it exists and the innumerable posts suggest that there are thousands out there just like us. Whenever you are feeling sad, Go on this site and read some of the positive posts.

"Crying while getting ready for school, pretending to be okay, feeling like people are staring at me. Getting home and cry when I remove my make up. "

Its okay. Its painful to go through this still I want you to feel the pain and accept it .I am sure it will be easy this time .
Now after a few years, you will get a degree, you will have a face with less acne, you will be emotionally strong and all this will be a catalyst for your success.


 


First of all, thank you for your words. But the first thing I think about is: why should I even choose between two things and have acne in whatever I choose to do? (failure or sucession). I don't see anyone else around me having to battle this way, sometimes it's the unfairness that really gets me.
But thank you for your tips nonetheless, I just wanted to share my honest thoughts.

You're right. But a few years ago when I was young everyone lied to me and told me it would go away by 18 (I'm 19 now). So I worked so hard in high school to get the best grades possible, it really was hell. But I thought that in the end it would be worth it in an acne free life. It just feels like betrayal believing these thoughts just to find myself in the same situation once again, and I don't think I can go through that betrayal again. Fighting for years through meantal illnesses & humiliation because of acne for a degree. Just to get back to square one again regarding my face including the scars. It's just too much. I get what you're saying and I'm not trying to be negative or mean but I don't know. I'm just rambling my thoughts as always.
On 10-7-2018 at 2:22 PM, sickofacnee said:

I know exactly how you feel because I felt the same way about two months ago and to make it worse, I went thru a whole semester of uni with huge cystic acne. I wasn't bullied because of my acne but I did get some nasty comments from adults. I used to cry everytime I looked in the mirror. I was on this forum, youtube and google everyday looking for remedies until I realized that we're just making all these up in our minds. WE are causing ourselves to be depressed, how will you be happy if you dont love yourself??? anyway, I stopped obsessing over my acne and stuck to a routine (i'll link it below, it may help you) that helped me clear my acne and I started to forget that I even have acne. my skin is still far from perfect, the cysts left huge red scars all over my face and I still have a few pimples on my cheeks, however, I dont feel sad or angry about it because I know that it will gradually fade with time. 

remember, acne is just temporary.
 




 


Thank you for sharing your experiences and routine, I will definitely check it out later. I'm sorry you had to go through these things and also happy you found a way out.

The hard part is that I just can't accept myself, I might have been bullied while I was growing up but I never had to chance to get over that. (I had to deal with family problems and stuff, still but I'm just focusing on this now)
I think that just maninfested into this hatred and obsession over my skin. I just think that out of all people I'm not allowed to show unsightful things to people regarding my face. I know it sounds extreme and my thoughts also change everyday to be honest (not positive ones).

The other hard part is that I just don't believe in the ''temporary'' thing anymore. I always used to say: "Just give me a time limit, no matter how long, and I will be able to go through this".
Waiting for years and going through medicines for nothing, I took that really hard. And maybe that's why I'm prone to giving up easily (which is complete opposite to my personality, getting a diploma wasn't easy). I'm convinced that I'm cursed and my face will stay like this for forever. But you're right it's all coming from me, because the people around me have changed and no one every pointed out my skin.

Don't take it wrong I really take these words to my heart, that's why I make topics. It's just that my voices and thoughts are too strong and I can't help but share them. Time to check out yours! Thanks again.

 
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2 hours ago, Yasminexra said:

I don't see anyone else around me having to battle this way, sometimes it's the unfairness that really gets me.

don't you see people insecure about their noses, chins, ears? about height (never can be fixed), weight, balding?
Why I am so short, so bald, ears are like avia-radars, nose like axe, eyes too big, dih is so small? 
why cant I piss without pain, breathe without pills, and lyft without heart problems? 
Also, I want to have that face shape, that bone structure, that voice, that immune system.
Most of things I wrote above are beyond fixable  possibilities, and people have to live their lives. 

You have ACNE on your SKIN. Acne can be cured, skin heals.

 Don't ever speak about unfairness. I know guy who has problems with his digestive tract. So he visit resting room 20-30 times per day. Is it fair? or guy who has chronic head ache (cant remember what exactly is it)? Or guy who was gentleman driver but one day some streetracer left him without one arm? not fair at all, right? 
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28 minutes ago, Candy Says said:
don't you see people insecure about their noses, chins, ears? about height (never can be fixed), weight, balding?
Why I am so short, so bald, ears are like avia-radars, nose like axe, eyes too big, dih is so small? 
why cant I piss without pain, breathe without pills, and lyft without heart problems? 
Also, I want to have that face shape, that bone structure, that voice, that immune system.
Most of things I wrote above are beyond fixable  possibilities, and people have to live their lives. 

You have ACNE on your SKIN. Acne can be cured, skin heals.

 Don't ever speak about unfairness. I know guy who has problems with his digestive tract. So he visit resting room 20-30 times per day. Is it fair? or guy who has chronic head ache (cant remember what exactly is it)? Or guy who was gentleman driver but one day some streetracer left him without one arm? not fair at all, right? 

I get that, that's why I feel even worse and don't talk about this subject with anyone. When I get this reaction from even my mother I shut down for months out of shame. Something so 'trivial' (I say this now but that's certainly not how I see it) has formed my life. I can't help it, it is my reality and yes comparing myself to worse cases makes me feel guilty but that also doesn't help.

Also in my defense I specifically said "anyone else around me" and "this way". I don't know any sick people around me as far as I know, so I surely didn't imply that. Secondly, I said "this way" so I meant everything that came with acne, for example bullying and my mental health.
I meant no harm, and I would never ever mean it in a way that I'm looking down on people having other health issues.

I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else. Never in my life have I said that I have it worse than the rest, everyone deals with something. But feeling unfairness is natural I believe. If you look at it the other way, there are people who find it unfair when they don't get 5000 a month from their parents (I saw that in a documentary). Doesn't exactly correlate with this. But what I meant to say that some people do get trapped in their own problems no matter how simple or hard those problems are. And that comes with a feeling of unfairness. But in no way shape or form does that mean (in my case) that I wouldn't see unfairness for other people who have it worse or even better.

 
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Even if my acne is moderate, I really feel insecure about it, especially since I’m the only one in the family who has it. Neither my father or mother had acne, and my brother (he’s 15) only has blackheads because he doesn’t wash his face... wait... my mother doesn’t do that either.
My little brothers make fun of me. They eat a lot of sugary stuff, greasy stuff and junk food, they don’t wash their faces (even if one is a teen and the other one is a pre-teen). I’ve been a vegetarian since 2014 and I do quite a lot of sport. know it could be worse, but I don’t personally know anyone with bad acne or that’s similar to mine.
I was hoping to get rid of my acne before getting into university but that plan failed. Still, I’m not losing hope. I learned recently that a lack of sleep causes hormone imbalance, and then acne. Well I went to boarding school to get a specific high school diploma in applied arts, and in two years I don’t think I’ve slept more than 6 and half hours per night (too much work) except on Saturday. And the canteen food three times a day was not helping. At least now I can blame something. Good night everyone.
[i needed to rant, sorry]

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The best advice I can give you is to push your limits. I used to let my breakouts hold me back from everything, but then I just said f- it. I still have times when I just can't push myself, but the more you push through the bullshit thoughts we all have about our skin the more we get to live. It's a constant struggle, I wake up and go to bed everyday with negative thoughts about my skin, but the older you get the more you see past the stupid stuff we put ourselves through. We're human, so we're not perfect. And it's okay to feel everything. Just breathe.

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On 13-7-2018 at 7:05 AM, Candy Says said:
don't you see people insecure about their noses, chins, ears? about height (never can be fixed), weight, balding?
Why I am so short, so bald, ears are like avia-radars, nose like axe, eyes too big, dih is so small? 
why cant I piss without pain, breathe without pills, and lyft without heart problems? 
Also, I want to have that face shape, that bone structure, that voice, that immune system.
Most of things I wrote above are beyond fixable  possibilities, and people have to live their lives. 

You have ACNE on your SKIN. Acne can be cured, skin heals.

 Don't ever speak about unfairness. I know guy who has problems with his digestive tract. So he visit resting room 20-30 times per day. Is it fair? or guy who has chronic head ache (cant remember what exactly is it)? Or guy who was gentleman driver but one day some streetracer left him without one arm? not fair at all, right? 

I just don't get why you have to be so mean. This was the only place I could let out my feelings purely because I knew people here could relate and wouldn't judge me. Not only here but you were also mean in another topic. Why can't I speak about something that I feel is unfair? You don't know me in real life, how guilty I feel when I have every right to feel like this knowing what I went through and still go through. At least reply to what I said to this before. It's not nice; because of this I felt even more guilty to post about my feelings and experiences on this site.
On 28-7-2018 at 11:52 PM, TenaciousAcne said:

Even if my acne is moderate, I really feel insecure about it, especially since I’m the only one in the family who has it. Neither my father or mother had acne, and my brother (he’s 15) only has blackheads because he doesn’t wash his face... wait... my mother doesn’t do that either.
My little brothers make fun of me. They eat a lot of sugary stuff, greasy stuff and junk food, they don’t wash their faces (even if one is a teen and the other one is a pre-teen). I’ve been a vegetarian since 2014 and I do quite a lot of sport. know it could be worse, but I don’t personally know anyone with bad acne or that’s similar to mine.
I was hoping to get rid of my acne before getting into university but that plan failed. Still, I’m not losing hope. I learned recently that a lack of sleep causes hormone imbalance, and then acne. Well I went to boarding school to get a specific high school diploma in applied arts, and in two years I don’t think I’ve slept more than 6 and half hours per night (too much work) except on Saturday. And the canteen food three times a day was not helping. At least now I can blame something. Good night everyone.
[i needed to rant, sorry]


Don't apologize, it's completely fine to rant. I can relate to seeing people around you eating and doing all that stuff without gaining acne. In my case it often feels like I'm being punished, even if it sounds ridiculous. I don't even know for what since I'm suffering since I was just 14 (from acne).
 
On 28-7-2018 at 11:52 PM, TenaciousAcne said:

I was hoping to get rid of my acne before getting into university but that plan failed.

How do you deal with this? I'm having the worst chin breakout right now and it's making me want to not even go to university. I can force myself often times to go outside lately, but when it's really really bad I just can't leave my house.

How are you dealing with it now?



d
On 9-8-2018 at 5:55 AM, iMarco said:

The best advice I can give you is to push your limits. I used to let my breakouts hold me back from everything, but then I just said f- it. I still have times when I just can't push myself, but the more you push through the bullshit thoughts we all have about our skin the more we get to live. It's a constant struggle, I wake up and go to bed everyday with negative thoughts about my skin, but the older you get the more you see past the stupid stuff we put ourselves through. We're human, so we're not perfect. And it's okay to feel everything. Just breathe.


I can relate to this and thank you for your words.
After staying inside for 3 months (I only went out once to take final exams) I pushed myself and went outside a l lot. I was surprised and even had hope that I'd be able to live like that. Ofcourse I still had acne but not so bad since it didn't hold me back anymore. But now that I'm experiencing a really bad breakout I'm back to square one, it's just a never ending cycle. As you could probably guess I'm not doing that well right now so thank you for your last sentences. Lots of people tell me that I'm exaggerating or shouldn't feel like this, I believe that frustrates me even more and prolongs my period of dispairness.
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On 7/12/2018 at 11:05 PM, Candy Says said:
On 7/12/2018 at 11:05 PM, Candy Says said:
don't you see people insecure about their noses, chins, ears? about height (never can be fixed), weight, balding?
Why I am so short, so bald, ears are like avia-radars, nose like axe, eyes too big, dih is so small? 
why cant I piss without pain, breathe without pills, and lyft without heart problems? 
Also, I want to have that face shape, that bone structure, that voice, that immune system.
Most of things I wrote above are beyond fixable  possibilities, and people have to live their lives. 

You have ACNE on your SKIN. Acne can be cured, skin heals.

 Don't ever speak about unfairness. I know guy who has problems with his digestive tract. So he visit resting room 20-30 times per day. Is it fair? or guy who has chronic head ache (cant remember what exactly is it)? Or guy who was gentleman driver but one day some streetracer left him without one arm? not fair at all, right? 
These problems are all relative.  Don't undermine her issues and insecurities just because other people have it worse.  Edited by klessard
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Omg I'm going through the same thing and have been for my entire life!
You're young and only 19 but I remember exactly what it was like being at that age, I'm in my twenties now and still feel like I'm stuck at 17 bc I've been hiding a lot of myself due to acne and scarring! I feel I missed out on so much life between my teenage years and now bc I was literally just hiding.

I used to get bullied A LOT too, ever  since my acne started around age 11 or 12 I think. And when I went to High School it was so awful. I used to have to take the NYC subway to school and under those bright lights I used to crumble and feel like a monster with monstrous skin. Not to brag, but I'm not that bad looking, I just have really bad acne so I used to get attention in all forms. Ppl would look at me thinking they saw a pretty girl ( what girl doesnt want to feel pretty) but I felt once they saw my hideous acne and scars, they would be disgusted. I would cry all day and everyday in secret and even though I had a lot of friends I wouldn't do a lot of things with them bc I was picking and choosing which places to go to best hide my skin. Like if they were going to a park in the afternoon, I'd know I wouldn't want to go there bc thats where my skin looks the WORST, under the natural light, all the flaws are magnified. 

Then I went to college, I was voted Social Chair of my Korean Student Association,  but I had zero confidence and even lower self esteem to do any activities. The only times I wanted to go out was at night to parties, not bc I was all that into partying and drinking but it was the only place I felt my skin looked just passable, and not like gross. I used to get misunderstood a lot, I was always the shy nerd, geek type but since I wore so much thick pancake makeup to hide my skin and like going out at night(again that was bc of my skin) , ppl labeled me as a wild, bad girl type. (These days being wild and bad ala Kardashians is considered ok but I feel  ten years ago it still was pretty different than now.) And when people judge you  its easy to feel really bad about yourself. Also attracts less than worthy boys bc of the image .  

Waking up and trying to go to class was a struggle of the worst kind. All these girls in their youth and prime, having flawless skin, and looking so fresh while I have to spackle on ten pounds of foundation but still have really rough skin made me feel like I was legit a monster. And the kind of people I am around, perfect skin is a MUST. I'm asian (korean) and we are supposed to have white, pore-less, flawless skin and if you dont, EVEYRBODY will make it their job to attack you. Friends, relatives, family members,  strangers, just people on the street ,it was so damn annoying and psychologically really messed me up. 

And I was the best straight A student, went to a top Science HS in NYC and a good university but it was 100% my skin that held me back. My parents would never understand, they just thought I didn't want to go to college. I tried to tell them my skin made me depressed  but they wouldnt have it.  SO I did skip classes a lot, had major depression, dated the wrong guys bc of low self esteem bc of my skin. Normal ppl would never understand how deeply it affects people.

So even at this age, im supposed to be all grown up and mature but I still feel like I missed out on way too much, I feel stunted at my younger age bc I havent experienced as much as I would like to have. I wish I had not cared so much about my face or my looks but its not just superficial it is psychological as well. There is a lot of work I need to do to make myself feel worthy of a lot of things. I tried to get lasers and all that but its a long and painful process. I'm still working on my skin and still have issues with avoiding people and certain situations. There were times I literally RAN AWAY from poeple for fear that my skin looked horrible. I actually feel really sorry for my younger self lol. I wish I had been kinder to her. Acne was not a choice and it certainly wasnt my fault but I was so hard on myself for having it.

I sometimes still let my skin ruin my entire day. If I happen to have a really bad skin day, I feel so down and just utterly depressed, even angry and just filled with so much rage about my skin. I try to be "mature" and act like being superficial is not the way to live. but its freaking on my face, the first thing people see! lol..its kind of funny how much my life revolves around my skin and how much skin has affected my decisions. 

I'm sure you feel like the only person going through that but Ive been there, still am actually , and Im pretty sure a lot of others as well. I could write a novel about this subject  but I only included a few examples bc this is already getting too long of a post lol but I could go on and on and on! and I know what you mean by that youre not looking for a way out, I was that way too. Everybody could give me great advice everyday all day long, but that wouldn't have made me change my mind or act any differently. Bc dealing with the psychologically damaging effects of acne strikes to the core, and becomes instinctual. Its a lonely road, having bad skin...no matter what people say or try to understand, they could never truly know, unless they've actually had terrible skin. Also , having bad skin and being sensitive is a terrible combo! Im that way, super-sensitive and detail-oriented so I see and feel EVERYTHING. it is a gift and a curse!

 

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Very similar.

I was always very outgoing until I got acne. So after 12-years-old I gradually started going out less and less. By 15, I was pretty much never going out and just playing video games all the time. I also was so far behind in school that I just left illegally. I felt super self concious in public, my parents were about to get a divource(they did a year later) and I knew I wasn't going to pass my GCSEs.

Fast forward to 19-years-old and I had no qualifications, work experience and still had my acne. I decided to get back into education and after 3-years got everything i needed to start university(I start next month at the age of 22).

My acne is a LOT better and managable but I think the years of having bad acne and the toll is took on me emotionally has sort of broke me a little. I appear normal on the outside but I still feel unhappy.

I'm just focusing on improving my skin texture and working out and hoping I'm happy with the way I look in 12 months or so ...and getting prepared to face the outside world again when i start university and live with people.

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I totally get the thing about feeling lesser than other people because i have acne but feeling ungrateful and entitled if i complain about it. I take prescription medication and use all natural products but the bacterial infection on my face just won't budge. I get so insecure and feel like disgusting garbage everyday at school, since i cant cover it up, and i go to an all girls school where everyone is always trying to look better than everyone else and i just cant compete. The hyperpigmentation marks have not faded at all for 3+ years as well, and it is all over my face so even when I'm not having a big breakout they're still there whenever i look in the mirror. I just feel so gross and disgusting compared to everyone else in my school, as i am also very insecure about my legs so constantly wear trousers instead of skirts. I cant help but think how much of a better person i would be if i never got acne.
But the two things i tell myself to feel better are
a. It could always be worse.However, Pain is relative so instead of invalidating my feelings i just think about things i'm glad about whether its a skill, my house, friends etc. It doesn't stop me from feeling  awful about my skin but i found it can sometimes make me feel better in general.
b. I think about how big the world is and how many things are happening at once, and how much happens i peoples lives. Idk it just helps me look at my acne in a less serious way.
These don't work all the time, and at the end of the day i just really hope that it will go soon or the doctor will prescribe medication that works really well. But until then i just keep pushing on and looking forward to things that make me happy.
You are all super strong for dealing with something that most people think is nothing, and i hope everyone finally gets the clear skin they want. But its so hard to stay positive when i just want to hide from the world, but i make myself go out anyway because i know i deserve to feel happy and have fun. You deserve to feel happy and successful with acne or without.
( Sorry for ranting )

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Yeah I can relate.

I also clock the hours it took me to apply enough concealer so I felt like I could leave my house. It sucks and if it wasn’t for the internet I reckon many of us would be totally isolated

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All what u wrote I still feel at 45, I feel your pain, had hope in younger years, got better around 37 only, had a third of the scars from what I have now, learned evrth- the knowledge makes me sick, there is no cure for scars, there is no cure for acne, got it under control with roa/diet but it always could come back. Now attempts to improve scars but only worse or zero. This knowledge that it is for the rest of my life is killing. Sometimes I hide on bad days sometimes force myself to go and do things, there are things u can not avoid. After life struggle I am exosted, want nothing except normal skin and this is not possible. I learned to do right make up, to keep the distance while talking, people who are not close would not know, on the photos from the distance nothing is seen. But I know how this problem stole my life and completely changed me as a person. 

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Acne has essentially ruined my life.  Acne combined with low self esteem, which in turn makes it even worse.  I completely missed out on my teens and 20s because of acne.  I never went to homecoming/prom because of my poor skin, I would never want my face to be documented (I know there is a lot of photographing at those events).  I never went to college because of my bad skin, just the mere thought of being on a college campus sends chills down my spine being surrounded by good looking people with clear skin.  That's how I felt when I visited my sister at her university.  I've also had issues with employment because of acne, it seems like no one wants to hire someone with shitty skin, which makes sense to me especially if it's a job where you're a public face of a company.  And don't even get me started on dating, most girls treat me like a total freakshow.  It's been 6 months since a female has even smiled at me, which actually happened at the gym and I became so anxious and my chest became tight, I was just shocked that an attractive girl looked at me with anything other than disgust.  I've also had difficulties in making friends, it seems like not many people want to be friends with someone with acne, I mean who wants to look at blemishes on someone's face? So because of that I've basically been friendless for the last 15 years.  Completely wasted the "best years of my life."  I'm not really that uninteresting or unlikable either, I have hobbies and such, but my physical looks hold me back (my teeth are horrendous as well).  Long story short, acne has done significant damage to my life and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

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Mxx

You may now have fungal acne, which is controllable with topical antifungal creams. See my post on the other thread. Get back to me for further information, if you wish. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by applying antifngal cream/s etc to your "acne" ...

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I have never ever related to a post as much as this.

Well you see I have a generally big forehead which of course people loveeeeee to point out often comparing me to mega mind etc, but recently I’ve gotten acne, when I say recently I actually mean like 10 months ago, as soon as it got bad I went to go see a doctor which they prescribe the usual crap, and me obviously being a vulnerable teen, took the medication. 

I’ve taken many forms of cream and medication, I am now finally on oral antibiotics in hope that my problematic skin will soon clear.

ahahahah what a joke me thinking that it’d actually go away as quick and as texture free as they described to me.

The medication caused my skin to become permanently damaged, leaving this gross bumpy dry texture on my once smooth skin.

seriously though my skin literally 10 months ago was flaw less.

I always thought my confidence was bad but with acne it’s literally non existent, it was hard for me to adjust to not being able to look at myself the way I once did (I wasn’t egotistical btw I just was actually able to look in a mirror lmao) My dad thinks I’m “pathetic” for letting “a few teenage spots” get to me like they do, I haven’t left the house properly for 10 whole months, except for school, which even then I made excuses and tried to turn up late. This I stopped doing as I had exams. The heightened depression that came in with my ‘acne’ (if you will) stopped me from even thinking about a greater future for myself which as stupid as it seems it was very hard for me to shift this negative mind set, after all it is a mental illness. I have just finished my exams without revision and I really wished I would have put aside my worries and sadness for grades I can actually be proud of. I chose my skin over my future how silly is that?! I kept telling myself that my skin is more important than where I am going to be in 20 years time, because after all I was suicidal and had in the space of 10 months around hundreds of suicidal thoughts, I couldn’t take one more day of this constant pain, it wasn’t just my skin though that played a big part,before you think I’m being rather dramatic, but it was a general disatisfaction with life.

I couldn’t handle the stress of my exams (being of a nervous disposition anyway having anxiety), my depression and deep obsession with my skin, which my mum seems to think is that of an OCD related issue (which tbh she seems correct) and it all just got to me so much I was very tempted to just kill myself there and then. I didn’t obviously as I value my families love and I couldn’t ever take what they gave me anyway. Even though they sometimes aren’t the most understanding they’re about the most solid thing I’ve got in my life and it’d pain me to think of how they’d cope, robbed of their oldest daughter. 

But anyway enough of that deep stuff, I now am finished with school, free of exam stress and able to stay at home without being forced to go and socialise, my skin is a lot better than it used to be a few months ago, but I am still disatisfied, which I believe is due to me being able to put the blame of this long 10 months of depression onto my skin being bad, and now I’m in a bit of a situation because I don’t know if my bad skin has caused my depression or if my depression has caused my bad skin?

But yeh these whole 10 months of pure non stop sadness and self hatred has left me so drained that when I went to attend the cinema I had to go straight home to sleep because my mind had just given up on me.

Now I’m afraid of my future in general not just in terms of my Acne.

sorry for this annoying long rant I had no where to go and say such deep stuff 

thanks if you made it this far, I’d love to hear if your situation is the same or even remotely the same ;)

ik I shouldn’t put pictures of friends but that’s the most recent picture I have aha CF061A8A-B200-45AE-A1DD-E06CFF7FBD1A.thumb.jpeg.f0a47b8f2a4b4c75912dd991e63c30d2.jpeg

 

 

58E0442D-98CC-4E49-B4CE-C2ACC17FC300.jpeg.bfcf0ff8e0e884c33e09fc6c382ce3a4.jpeg

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Izzy

You may have fungal acne which the antibiotics will make worse and worse. Fungal acne is caused by taking antibiotics, and some other meds. The treatments for ordinary acne make fungal acne worse an worse. Doctors don't know about fungal acne.

Bumpy skin indicates a fungal condition.

If you get back to me with answers to the questions below, I can provide information that will very likely control your "acne".

Fungal acne is safely and cheaply treated by applying topical antifungal creams (which are TOTALLY safe), keeping skin dry and washing hair in an antidandruff shampoo.

I can provide more information if you get back to me with answer to these questions -

1. Have you taken antibiotics (yes - which ones ?) or other meds. ?

2. Do you have one or more of the following - dandruff, white tongue, toenail fungus, sinus problems, gut problems, unexplained tiredness or brain fog?

I look forward to hearing back from you.

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1.) Yes, Erythromycin (but they were prescribed)

2.) tiredness and brain fog but that’s explained because I have mental illnesses that have spiked recently.

I have a relatively clear scalp so I guess not.

I am pretty sure I haven’t got Fungal acne as it’s gotten better with the antibiotics. 

I think my acne is stress related as I had exams 

Edited by Izzybobizzi
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Izzy

OK,. But be aware that doctors do not know anything about fungal conditions, so the fact that an antibiotic was prsecribed does not mean that is it safe or that it cannot cause fungal problems

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Of course and as soon as I display signs I shall stop using the drugs but for now they seem to keep the issue at bay and that’s all I can ask for since acne isn’t a highly curable thing.

many thanks x

Edited by Izzybobizzi
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