Hi all, I've spent the past few months reading through various posts on here and finally decided to make a post of my own reaching out.
I've had moderate cystic acne since I turned 21 (24 now), and have had a hell of a time dealing with it. Recently I started a new skin care line that seems to be helping prevent new breakouts (great!) but I still suffer from old cysts that never healed around my chin and horrible red scars all over my face from my awful habit of picking. I've become so terribly self conscious of what I look like bare skinned, that I literally have panic attacks when I have to take my makeup off at night, or when I first see myself exiting the shower in the mornings. I have a history of anxiety and depression and take medication for both. It has recently gotten so bad, I refuse to spend the night with my boyfriend because I am so embarrassed about how I look without makeup on (and I dare sleep with it on and cause more breakouts!) I truly feel it is starting to affect my relationship because he has very nice skin and is quite a bit older than me, and has never had a problem with acne before; so he readily admits he doesn't understand why I get so worked up about it. I just want to feel beautiful still when I wash off my "mask" off at the end of the day, but it is so very hard when seeing myself brings me to tears and I truly am disgusted by this reflection in the mirror. Any advice or similar stories I would really appreciate.
First I want to tell you that you are not alone. I had exactly the same problem. My then boyfriend ( now husband) had the most beautiful skin while I used to never let anyone see me without makeup. While I agree how you feel about people seeing you without makeup you should not do things like sleeping with makeup. Always do what is best for your skin. Put your skin first if you want it to heal. Also please do not lose hope. There are many people who have found out how to cure their acne and I am sure you will too.
I spent many years trying to find something to cure my acne. Wasted money on skin care products, clinics, dermatologists etc. Nothing ever worked. However, I had great results when I changed my diet. If you are ready to try something else for your acne you could think about changing your diet a bit.