I can remember the feeling of being alive and not worrying about my skin. I remember how it feels to be normal. To be able to talk to people and actually look them in the eye. To truly taste life.To be able to, in the slightest of ways, not be controlled by my skin.
When it comes down to it, my acne and scars have controlled me ever since. 8 years. I have nowdeveloped what seems to be social anxiety and other avoidance tactics.
Nowadays, its hard to leave the house. It's hard to look into the mirror.
It's like all I want is that feeling again. Being high on life instead of hiding.
I've changed my diet (no grains, no sugar, limited dairy), and it has helped a bit, but I still get occasional cysts which always end up leaving an indented scar.
When I do have the guts to leave the house, my mind wanders. How? How can your skin be so clear? How can you eat the shit of the shit and not even break out? I've come to the conclusion that these people don't even need skincare products.
And it's not as easy to say go, go out there, live your life, live your dreams. Acne and acne scars are paralyzing. I'm getting older and older everyday, my youth slowing slipping away from me.
If having this taught me anything, its that nothing in this life matters except love and relationships.
So how and where do you begin to love yourself again? How do you accept yourself?How do you show yourself to the world?
I completely understand how you feel. I've struggled with acne for 17 years now, and I can't even count the number of days I've spent secluding myself and missing out on life. I have had brief periods of clear skin before, which makes my situation even more frustrating. I almost wish I hadn't ever had a break from having acne, so that maybe I wouldn't know what I was missing and I would be more willing to just accept my bad skin. As it stands right now...I honestly don't know how to feel okay about my acne and just go out and live my life. I'm trying my hardest, but I still cry over my skin every day and I avoid making plans with people. Going to school and work is about all I can manage, and I can't even manage that some weeks.
I wish I had some advice for you, but mostly I just wanted you to know that I feel your pain. I will suggest seeking therapy if you really feel that acne is ruining your life. I've been seeing a counselor for my anxiety and depression (which is caused almost exclusively by my acne) and it's helped me quite a bit. Forcing myself to talk openly about how I feel about my skin helps me put it in perspective rather than getting stuck in my own head. Talking to friends and family (and the nice folks on this forum) is helpful too, of course.
I totally understand the constant searching on youtube for a treatment that may actually work the changing diets and vitamins overload the do i use natural vs branded products in my skin regime. So many trials and errors waiting and hoping for results. Results that don't come or if they do come are short lived by another breakout bringing you right back to the start again. I'm at the point where I just full on refuse to accept this is it. Currently I have a bad breakout so I'm hiding away but when this subsides im determined to go out and have a life. Until the next round of breakouts It's frustrating to let it dictate my life. Relationships suffering because I'm so insecure about my skin and therefore not great with consistency. Work life social life are heading south too. But ive had to force myself to keep my spirits up. Eventhough I want to cry when I think about how bad my skin is now. But then I think crying isn't going to change anything. So I try to remain hopeful and see my skin as in a process of recovering hopefully by the law of attraction and persistentance with a changing attitude of learning to love myself again and the usual external and internal tweaks. I'm hoping to have a better positive outlook as only we can save ourselves by positively making small steps so hang in there and do not give up. Easier said than done of course!
13 hours ago, Meesha16 said:I totally understand the constant searching on youtube for a treatment that may actually work the changing diets and vitamins overload the do i use natural vs branded products in my skin regime. So many trials and errors waiting and hoping for results. Results that don't come or if they do come are short lived by another breakout bringing you right back to the start again. I'm at the point where I just full on refuse to accept this is it. Currently I have a bad breakout so I'm hiding away but when this subsides im determined to go out and have a life. Until the next round of breakouts It's frustrating to let it dictate my life. Relationships suffering because I'm so insecure about my skin and therefore not great with consistency. Work life social life are heading south too. But ive had to force myself to keep my spirits up. Eventhough I want to cry when I think about how bad my skin is now. But then I think crying isn't going to change anything. So I try to remain hopeful and see my skin as in a process of recovering hopefully by the law of attraction and persistentance with a changing attitude of learning to love myself again and the usual external and internal tweaks. I'm hoping to have a better positive outlook as only we can save ourselves by positively making small steps so hang in there and do not give up. Easier said than done of course!
Exactly this. Do I abandon healthier alternatives and go for prescriptions? It's alll so frustrating.
